for the trope: road trip, title from Aimee Mann's Video. not mine, no profit garnered. Thanks to ff for awesome beta help, all mistakes mine.
Jonah was getting a ride with Mateo to work which was not something he generally enjoyed. He didn't know why he'd agreed to carpool with Mateo on days they had the same shifts. It was pretty clear why Mateo wanted to do it, he only drove every other time and demanded an arbitrary calculation of Jonah's portion of the gas money. Mateo only paid Jonah for gas every third or fourth trip. It was so petty and the sheer ego of it was, like most things Mateo, almost incredible and awesome, in the more traditional use of the word.
Jonah's phone buzzed and he took it out despite his general desire to keep his eyes on the road whenever Mateo drove. "Hey, hey," he said to Amy.
Mateo turned up the music. Jonah reached over and turned it down. Amy said, "Hey, guess who's been having an affair since I cut my damn hair?"
"I know the answer's not you," Jonah said.
"Duh. You know, I finally did it, I said, let's get a divorce. Let's end this. And he says, you're right. All good, right? And then he says he's been fucking this chick since I cut my hair. My haircut made him start wagging his dick around to anyone who wants. What the fuck, right?" Amy's voice sounded very high and fast, understandably.
"But the first part, that's good. I'm glad," Jonah said. "Not the other part."
Mateo turned up the music again, even louder. Jonah turned it down again. Amy said, "And then he says, I'm sure you've been fucking Jonah since you met him."
"That's totally untrue," Jonah said. "I wish, but totally untrue."
Amy laughed, clearly at him. "Great, I should have said that. But you know, honestly, I took a deep breath and said, it doesn't matter. This is over. We're over, we don't need to fix this anymore. There's no value to a relationship autopsy."
"That's great, that's great -" Mateo turned up the music to deafening levels. Jonah turned it down and shouted, "God damn it, Mateo, can I just have this one conversation?"
Mateo muttered, "Overreact much?"
Amy said, "I did tell him we have not been fucking since we first met. But basically, then it was all deflated and man, we have to tell Emma, and what do we do now? But that was two hours ago and I am actually really pissed he's been cheating on me with some slut."
"A slut like me," Jonah said, glancing at Mateo.
"You're not a slut, she's a slut. Who sleeps with a married man?"
"Me," Jonah said. "I mean, close enough, right? Look, I'm saying, in respect to gender -"
"I am hanging up on you now. This is not a, oh he's so cute and morally pure, this is a Jonah's fucking irritating quirks make me wonder how I am in love with him." Then she did hang up.
Mateo said, "Who was that?" He didn't sound like he cared.
"My aunt," Jonah said. "Sometimes she's right on the ball but then sometimes, she has dementia and she starts saying these awful things."
"Fascinating," Mateo said. He turned up the music again.
When they got to work, Jonah noticed Mateo seemed to have added a phone call tax to the gas total. He paid it anyway. He clocked in, went to the break room for his coffee, got his coffee and sat down. He looked down at his phone and thought, she loves me.
Amy's shift didn't start for another three hours so Jonah lost himself in store work. He listened to Marcus tell a story about prison that had to be exaggerated but decided, for once, not to point that out. He let Mateo tell him to clean up a mess in the dressing rooms which turned out to be not so much a mess as a full scale Jackson Pollack of feces and possibly urine. He remembered the wise words of Garrett and looked up to see if there was anything on the ceiling that might fall on his hair.
He hadn't realized how long the dressing room was taking until Amy actually walked in, already in her vest. "Hey, slut," she said.
"Hey, divorcee," Jonah said. "Sorry, can I say that?"
"No one's coming near this dressing room, Jonah, there's a smell. But also, I already told Glenn and Cheyenne ten minutes ago so assume everyone knows," Amy said. She had positioned herself against the wall, away from him. Jonah told himself it was the smell because it was probably the smell.
"But not about us," Jonah said.
"No," Amy said. "I'd rather not have everyone in the store assume what Adam did, so maybe we can just keep quiet for a little while longer. Sorry."
"No, it's fine," Jonah said. "Everyone thinks we're having an affair, anyway. But most of them think it started after Christmas."
"It didn't," Amy said. "Adam cheated first."
"Yes," Jonah said, nodding. He had to keep working on cleaning up the mess and disinfecting everything. He needed the overwhelming bleach smell to cling to him, not the shit and pee. "But I mean, did you tell Emma? What happens with the house?"
Amy rubbed her neck and nodded, looking down. "Those are the fun questions. We got Emma out of school for lunch and told her in the principal's office. She hates us both, for now. Tomorrow, I am going to a real estate lady Glenn knows to see about listing the house. Once we sell it, then Adam and I can get our own places. Because right now, I'm the only one who could afford rent, so I would be paying rent and the mortgage which isn't possible at all if I want to take summer courses, so anyway. He's living in the basement. Looking for work." She tapped her foot, classic Amy hesitation before getting to the point. "And neither of us will be bringing our sluts over, not for a long while. Or meeting Emma."
"I've already met Emma," Jonah said. "But never again. Or not for a while, I get it. That's fine, you know. It's absolutely fine. Emma comes first. I think that's smart, you know, let her adjust before you spring new people on her."
"Right," Amy said. "Thanks for the parenting validation."
"I once worked as a teacher's aide as part of volunteer mission -"
"In Haiti? In between the earthquake proofing?"
Jonah smiled. "No, actually, it was a refugee camp in Turkey."
"Of course," Amy said. "Is that all you did between college and business school? Volunteer?"
"I had a few jobs," Jonah said. "Not really jobs, more like internships. In Chicago."
"Things your dad set up," Amy said.
"Exactly," Jonah said. "Never as exciting as this. You should have seen this room when I started."
"I did see it, you instagrammed it. Corporate is going to kill you."
Jonah said, "I didn't say it was Cloud 9. Thank you for finally following my instagram."
"I was looking for Adam's slut," Amy said. "And she is blonde and skinny. With long hair. Who knew my entire marriage rested on my damn hair?"
"I like the new hair," Jonah said.
"Of course you do," Amy said. "Sorry."
"Did you tell Cheyenne about the other slut?"
"I thought about it, but then I thought, she's going to ask me about you, and I am not super great at lying, so. I don't know, I really want to tell Mateo, he's so good at being mean," Amy said.
"Mateo has some real strength in that area," Jonah said.
He didn't really see Amy for the rest of his shift which wasn't unusual. Every other associate he saw took the time to tell him Amy was now divorced. Marcus said, "I did call dibs, just to let you know."
Jonah refrained from saying anything, a herculean effort. Cheyenne asked if Amy was now his date to her wedding, in which case he should wear something that matched the bridesmaid dress but not too much, not too basic.
At the end of their shift and the close of the business, Mateo swanned out saying, "Find another ride, Jonah, I've got a date."
"Well, that's $5 I've saved," Jonah said to Garrett.
"He charges you $5 to carpool," Garrett said. "You're an idiot."
"I know," Jonah said. "I know."
"Get a ride with your girlfriend," Garrett said.
"Myrtle already left," Jonah said.
"You're not actually funny," Garrett said.
He did get a ride with Amy, though she didn't come in. "I want to be there for Emma," she said.
"Totally," he said. He waited until he couldn't see her car to say "I love you, too."
She didn't stay over or even visit for a week. Which he totally understood. They were working out logistics, dealing with Emma acting out. Amy still talked to him, calling him even on the days they didn't work the same shifts. She would complain about Becky - "Can you actually believe my ex-husband is literally dating a Becky?" Jonah had loved Lemonade so he got the reference. She would complain about the process of listing the house, how Adam was home all day and yet somehow couldn't find time to do the small projects they needed to make the house more attractive. Jonah would have offered but he had no idea how to do any of them and he wasn't allowed near the house. He did suggest asking Glenn.
No matter how soothing and understanding and funny and comforting Jonah was, he did have a tiny fear that now that Amy was divorcing, she didn't need him. She maybe had just been using him to push herself to end everything. Of course it wasn't true, but it could be.
After 7 days of no sex, no kissing, no non-work touching, he went online and decided to indulge in his mild emergency fund. He could withdraw cash from one of his trusts, he couldn't do anything else. Jonah's father had made it very clear that if Jonah ever had a short month at Cloud 9 or got fired, his debt payment was coming out of the cash in the mild emergency fund, so Jonah couldn't take out too much. But he could buy something to make up for possibly about to be dumped.
He was choosing between a blu ray set of Breaking Bad and Band of Brothers when his phone buzzed. It was Amy. He picked it up and said, "Hi," with some forced cheer.
"Why aren't you answering your door? I've been knocking for at least, like, 30 seconds," she said.
"Oh, sorry," he said. He looked down and selected the Breaking Bad set and then closed out his browser. He admittedly sort of ran to the door.
She smiled and lit up the room, of course, as she walked in. He closed the door and turned just in time for Amy to push him against the door and kiss him. He felt settled and peaceful and massively turned on. He grabbed her ass which was magnificent and half lifted her, half walked her back to the bedroom and fell on top of her on the bed. She said, "Hi."
"Hi," he said.
"I realized that when Adam says he needs to go out and just goes, he is visiting his literal Becky and I just thought, well, my damn turn." She reached between them, pulling down his pants and underwear enough that she get at his penis. She said, "I really wanted to have sex with you all week at work."
"The dressing rooms still smell," Jonah said. "I've tried everything. We might need to paint."
"Please don't make me think about the piss room," Amy said. "You know what divorced means? I can sleep over."
"Are you sure?" He wanted to rip her shirt off but instead just shoved it up over her breasts. She was wearing her one front clasping bra, so he could undo that and finally, finally have her warm skin under his mouth.
Amy said, "Hmmmm," and then, "Yes. Adam's done it twice, and unlike him, my shift is so early tomorrow I wouldn't be home when Emma got up anyway."
They got naked faster than they ever had before, and he could not get over the feeling of her skin and that feel of connection when they were together united. He really loved fucking her. They paused to clean up and eat. She said, "I am sorry. I missed you a lot."
"Me, too," he said, pushing her hair off her face. He really did like her hair.
She said, "Hey, I said I loved you."
"You did. And then we didn't get to have sex for a week."
"I said it first," Amy said.
"I love you, too," Jonah said.
The funny part was that since everyone at Cloud 9 assumed they had been having an affair for months and months, no one really asked them about it. At work, Jonah said, "Though, technically, aren't you supposed to disclose?"
"We are both supposed to disclose, like Garrett and Dina did."
"I would feel okay checking the romantic box," Jonah said.
Amy grimaced and tilted her head. "Sure, but I really want to hold off on that. You're not a dirty secret, i just, you know. We actually started all the legal stuff yesterday, I think we can wait."
"I know," Jonah said. "So, here's something I keep meaning to ask you, what are planning to do with your college degree?"
"Ha, whenever I get it," she said. "I don't want to be a teacher, despite what my mom thinks. Or a manager at Cloud 9, despite what Glenn thinks."
"Right, I was more interested in what Amy thinks, as per usual." He smiled at her and thought about putting his hand over hers. He didn't, he fidgeted and pulled at his ring finger.
"I think, I don't know. I don't think about it," Amy said.
"What if you did? Right now? No judgment here. We can just toss ideas around. I don't think you should be economic analyst," Jonah said.
"At the CBO," Amy said, smiling. "I wish, I would love to work at the Federal or State level enforcing labor laws. I would come after Cloud 9 so hard. It's called wage theft, Jonah."
"They're dismantling the laws prohibiting it right now," he said. "But it would be nice if they enforced the remaining laws. I can see you doing that. They wouldn't know they should be scared of you. They'd just see the smile and then boom, workers getting compensated."
"That is an actual job," Amy said. "Maybe I could do that."
"You could also work in HR for a company that doesn't suck, apply your compassion and bravery."
"To HR?" Amy rolled her eyes. "What about you? Four years from now, or five, your dad's paid off, you can be rich again, what do you do, Jonah?"
"I have no idea," he said. "I do not go back to business school. I would, I don't know."
"Well, you're not a photographer, and I don't think you're a documentarian," Amy said.
"Thanks, and ouch," Jonah said. "Do I do anything well?"
"You're very positive," Amy said. "You could be a teacher."
"Nope," Jonah said.
"Male model," Amy said. "I don't think you're particularly attractive, but you do have that porcelain skin."
"I've been compared to a panda," Jonah said.
Garrett rolled up and said, "What are we talking about?"
"Jobs, career aspirations for Amy when she gets her degree," Jonah said. "What are your plans for after here, Garrett?"
"Nothing," Garrett said. "I hate working, I don't care what I do. Here, I can do a bare minimum, have some fun, get enough to pay for my rent and some sweet sneakers every other month. I don't care beyond that."
"That's almost beautiful," Jonah said. "But you could do with better pay, at least."
"Sure, who couldn't? As long as there's not additional responsibilities," Garrett said.
Dina clomped up to add her 2 cents. "After this, manager. From manager to up the corporate ladder, finally, head of Security."
"Okay," Garrett said. "There are some circumstances where I would leave Cloud 9."
"What are you doing, Amy?"
"I don't know, something that pays more and has actual benefits," Amy said.
"Jonah," Garrett said. "I assume your plan is pretentious lifestyle travel blog. Pictures of you with artisanal yak burgers and wearing colorful ethnic hats that are actually offensive to everyone around you."
"I wouldn't wear offensive hats," Jonah said. "They actually use yak butter in Tibet, by the way. I've never had any, I haven't had the privilege to travel there but I would definitely try it."
"I hate traveling," Dina said. "It's hard enough being a vegan in Missouri, try being one in a city you don't know well."
"Places like Portland and San Francisco, you can find a lot of vegan restaurants," Jonah said. "Or Los Angeles."
"All of three of those cities are garbage dumps populated by garbage people. I'd take the transfer if Cloud 9 compensated me, extensively," Dina said.
Then Dina realized they were all standing around, not working so she shooed everyone away.
It was another late shift for Amy with an early morning one so she drove Jonah home and followed him to his apartment. She lingered at the Powells box he'd left at the table. "Did you actually buy all these books by Sandra Cisneros?" He tried to memorize how she said so he could say it right.
"I'm interested. I'm not just a feminist, I'm an intersectional feminist," Jonah said.
"Did you buy these for me?"
"I bought them for me," Jonah said. "I was thinking if you wanted to read them after me, pass them on to Emma," Jonah said. "Mostly I bought them for me. To read. "
"Adam's horrible at languages, he just doesn't have the knack. My mom always loved to complain about him to me in Spanish," Amy said, running her finger along the spine of one of the books.
"I would understand if she did that about me, probably. I'm not super fluent but I can get by," Jonah said. "That was before I knew you, it wasn't me trying to look good for you."
"I know," she said. "This is trying to look good for me." She pulled one of the books out.
"No, it's about being better, my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit, to quote Flavia Dzodan," Jonah said.
"Okay, okay," she said. "Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, then."
He kissed her cheek and squeezed her shoulders as he walked by because he had to go all day not touching her. He heard her use the bathroom and then go into the bedroom. He was probably taking too long getting the sandwich just right but he felt it was important. He was saying he loved her with food.
By the time he brought both sandwiches into the bedroom, Amy was asleep with A House of My Own under her hand. He got in bed next to her and said, "Sweetheart, do you still want your sandwich?"
"no," she mumbled. "And don't call me sweetheart."
He put a bookmark in the book and put on the dresser next to her. After he wrapped the sandwich in plastic and put it in the refrigerator, he ate his own in the kitchen, reading the House on Mango Street. When he went back into the bedroom, Amy had shoved off her jeans and shirt and bra and had pulled a blanket over herself. He got in next to her and petted her hair as he fell asleep.
He woke with a start 10 minutes later and made sure the alarm was set on his phone so she wouldn't be late for work.
Jonah loved waking up next to Amy. She drooled a little and made weird snorting noises and had very foul morning breath but he was just so glad she was, in all her perfect imperfect glory, in his life.
They went to Cheyenne's wedding, not together at all. Cheyenne had still put them sitting right next to each other at the table. He drifted away after the food and Dina's excruciating toast. The nice part was that for about 3 minutes, somehow Bo and Cheyenne let a slow song sneak in. Probably for the older relatives. He danced with Amy on the edge of the dance floor even though they both knew everyone was watching. He just liked the feel of her in his arms. He liked that she was clearly leading.
The song immediately shifted to Bo's rapping so they immediately broke apart. Glenn said, "I saw you," and got weepy.
"That is really worrying," Jonah said. "Also why is Jeff here and how did he end up on Harmonica duty?"
"He's doing great," Amy said.
Then they found out people were getting laid off.
He drove Amy home since she was very drunk and he wasn't, at all. Amy said, "They won't lay you off. Probably. Glenn loves you."
"And you're safe, you're shift supervisor," Jonah said.
"Cloud 9 made a billion dollars last year, and they have to lay off 6 employees at our store, that makes perfect sense," Amy said.
"They just do it to make their earnings reports look better so the stock goes up in price," Jonah said. "It would probably cut into their profit about 6-7% if they just actually paid overtime but that's too much for them. Even though, studies show when you raise the minimum wage, people have more money to spend, it doesn't kill business at all. There's a recent one from Seattle where the minimum wage is $15 and -"
Amy groaned. "I don't want to lose anyone. Maybe Marcus, but even Marcus has his moments."
"Not many," Jonah said. "But I know how you feel."
Clearly work was going to be insanely tense and it absolutely was. Jonah thought for a brief moment of quitting, he could find another job, and then they'd only have to layoff five people. But he liked being at Cloud 9 and he loved Amy and he liked Garrett and Cheyenne and Sandra and even Dina and Mateo. He was being selfish, he knew, but it would be such a small pathetic gesture.
They survived the tornado, like everyone except maybe Brett. They were clinging to each other in the pharmacy.
They walked out holding hands, looking at the carnage. He dropped her hand when he saw Adam pulling up. She said, "What?" Then she saw Emma get out of the car and ran towards her. He smiled watching her with her daughter. Good day, he thought.
He was looking over at Marcus and Mateo and was actually happy both of them were alive. He was possibly in shock, he was trying to remember the signs of it.
Amy tapped him on the shoulder. She said, "I'm going to go back with them, with Emma. It was really scary at her school. Not as much as the store. But she's scared." Amy pressed her hands against Jonah's chest. "Also, I'm the adult."
"Yeah," Jonah said, confused. He was much less confused when Amy kissed him and he carefully held her waist.
Amy turned around and was gone again. Emma was definitely glaring at him. He half-smiled at her. She didn't stop glaring.
Marcus said, "Hey, if Adam tries to beat you up, I got your back. He doesn't look so tough."
Jonah shook his head. "He's not going to beat me up. He has his own girlfriend."
"Seriously?" Mateo perked right up. "What kind of basic lady picks Adam?"
"Her name is Becky," Jonah said. "It is actually Becky."
"That's a nice name," Marcus said.
Jonah got way more drunk than he intended which was a clear sign he probably was in shock. He took an uber home and fell asleep on his couch. He woke up hungover and found his phone. He'd missed a bunch of calls and messages. All his brothers and his father had called. Apparently the news was Cloud 9 store in Missouri destroyed, one employee missing. Joseph's message was still pretty dickish.
Jonah took a long shower and ate bread while sitting on the floor of his kitchen in his underwear. Once he felt sufficiently together, he checked in on Facebook "Survived the tornado! Wish the same could be said of the store!" and then called all of his family except Joseph. Joseph just got a text.
He checked his facebook again after taking a bunch of aspirin and an herbal hangover remedy he put in his coffee. Amy's mother had hearted his update and commented, too. "Thanks for taking care of our gal."
Jonah wondered if Amy would comment. Probably not. She might have been too busy checking on Becky's facebook. She did that way too much.
He got the mass text to meet in the parking lot of the remnants of the store around 3 pm. The meeting was at 5 pm. Amy would definitely be there. He felt a little pathetic.
Possibly, Jonah needed to assert himself. But he felt like Amy had been married and was now divorced and her whole life was change, Amy hated change, he didn't want to be something she got rid of.
When he got to the parking lot, he just naturally gravitated towards where Amy was standing. She smiled at him. "Can you believe my mom thanked you?"
"It was actually really helpful because my family all suddenly remembered I existed and here was this nice testimonial."
"They were worried about you," Amy said.
"They really were," Jonah said. "Though I think Joseph was going through the motions. His wife probably put him up to it. I only texted him."
"Take that, Joe," Amy said.
"Joseph, he was always Joseph. Even as a toddler, apparently," Jonah said. "I was also never a Joe, or Joey. Joseph called me Joanie a lot. But even as a child I didn't resent it, I was okay with being called a girl's name."
"Of course you were," Amy said.
So they all learned that they were on unpaid leave for a week, and then they would mostly be reassigned to other stores. Jonah said, "Mostly."
Amy said, "Yeah, layoffs, remember?"
"That's awesome," Jonah said. "But definitely not you."
"Or you," Amy said. "Hey, Emma is actually going to stay with Adam's parents with Adam, he has an interview in Springfield."
"Springfield, Illinois? How are you with that?"
Amy sighed. "Springfield isn't super far away. I'd like him to have a job, that's for sure. And Adam's parents are pretty nice. Like, Adam is nice. He's a good guy. So. I was thinking, we have a week. We should road trip."
"Road trip, wow. That's awesome, that's great. We could do so much, I can research," Jonah said.
"Please don't," Amy said. "Why don't we, hey, you know, what if you haven't gotten off at the exit? For Cloud 9? We could just keep driving, see where else you could have been."
"That sounds a little frightening," Jonah said. "Like playing with fate. What if I hadn't taken that exit? It's like Sliding Doors and one of those didn't end well."
"We're clearly in the one that ends well, Jonah. Does fate really exist? It's just a car ride. It was a dumb idea," Amy said.
"No, it's a good idea. I was drifting along and made a wacky choice and here we are," Jonah said. "But I worry, like, upsetting a delicate balance. But yeah, let's do it. Totally. I have to go home and pack some things."
"One bag of toiletries only," Amy said.
Jonah packed carefully. First he tried to pack to impress, then he repacked because he really needed to act like Amy liked him for himself. He needed to believe it. He needed to be liked too much.
Jonah drove the first part. "On the highway," he said. "How long are we driving for?"
"All day," Amy said. "Bye bye St. Louis."
He thought about taking her hand and then thought he was being an idiot. He took her hand. She said, "I'm pretty committed to this, to us. I know when you hear that, it probably sounds pretty hollow, because hi, I was so committed to my marriage I cheated with you and now I'm divorced and that's no commitment. But I really am. So don't worry so much." She squeezed his hand.
"It doesn't work to tell people not to worry, actually. They just will. But I appreciate what you said. I don't think you're bad at commitment. I'm glad you love me. I love you."
"Whoa, escalation," Amy said, laughing. "Kidding, I know we already said that."
Jonah insisted on putting on NPR and then Amy got sick of it and hooked up her phone. "I've been getting into Hamilton," she said.
"I told you, did I not tell you? I told you 6 months ago," Jonah said. He was mouthing the words.
"I like In the Heights better," Amy said.
"You're a hipster, you like the early stuff better," Jonah said. "Or is it the subject matter?"
"Of course, I like it because I'm Latina," Amy said.
"Sorry," Jonah said. "I don't love Fiddler on the Roof, I know I shouldn't stereotype."
Amy sang, "Sunrise, sunset - come on, join in!"
"I'm not singing over My Shot," Jonah said.
They settled into a comfortable silence. They sung along to Hamilton in parts. Jonah could admit he still got a little weepy at parts.
Jonah said, "You know, my mom liked to read aloud when we drove on long trips. Dad couldn't because he got carsick. But she would bring a book, like, classics. That's how I first heard Pride and Prejudice."
"What did Joseph say about that?"
"He put on headphones. The rest of us listened," Jonah said.
"Is this actually the first time you've ever mentioned your mom to me?" Amy took his hand this time.
"Probably," Jonah said. Jonah let the road run beneath them. He finally said, "She died when I was 14. It wasn't bad. It was fine. She just fell asleep and didn't get up. Weak heart, no one knew. None of us boys have it. So it's fine. It was years ago."
"I'm sorry," Amy said. "That actually sounds like it's not fine. You don't have to convince me you're totally cool. I know you're not." He appreciated the little joke.
"It is fine, you know. There's been a lot of therapy. And acupuncture. Also, I tried reiki once."
"Reiki?" Amy laughed but she was still holding his hand.
They were quiet again for another twenty, thirty miles. Then Amy reached into her purse and took out of A House of My Own. "I'm gonna start from the beginning."
"Please, you haven't given me the book back since you took it," Jonah said smiling.
"I like the way she writes." Amy rolled down the window a smidge. She started to read.
