A Certain Romance

BpoV

The scent of blood hung heavy in the air, choking me, as I ran blindly through the pitch black woods. I could hear her laughter as she flew through the trees in front of me…taunting me with her every step. My chest burned and my vision was blurry but I couldn't stop. She'd gone after everyone I loved; my family, my friends, and finally my husband. Somehow I had to stop her even if it meant sacrificing my own life.

I followed her into the clearing and it wasn't until I saw the three figures she was kneeling in front of that I recognized the place. Of course. It had been in this very same place only a year before that my fate had been sealed.

Aro stood, flanked on both sides by Marcus and Caius, but my eyes were on the girl with the dark wavy hair kneeling at his feet. I would destroy her if it was the last thing I did.

"Ah…Bella. I'm glad to see you have returned safely," Aro said with a hint of mockery in his voice. I could feel his red eyes burning into me as he ran his fingers through the girl's hair making her purr. She knelt forward and kissed his feet as id he were some sort of God. It was sickening and maddening all at the same time.

"I see you've bought me a gift my pet." His voice sounded every bit as menacing as I'd remembered. The monster reached between her knees and pulled something black and circular from the floor and placed it gently in his hand. He smirked spinning it to face me so I could see what it was but I didn't need him to. I would recognize Edwards cuff anywhere.

I shrieked, launching myself at her with hatred burning in my veins. She spun to face me, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth and I froze mid-air. I'd hadn't seen her face until now. The monster who had wreaked havoc on my life was me….

I leapt up from the bed screaming and clawing at the sheets. Sweat beaded on my skin leaving my clothes damp and sticking to me. Pulling at my shirt, I glanced at the clock and in seeing that was already 8 am, fell back against the pillows with a sigh. Edward would have been gone an hour already.

"Bells?" Charlie called from the other side of the door before pushing it open. It had been two weeks since I'd moved back home, two weeks too long. I missed mine and Edward's bed. I missed him not having to sneak away because Charlie was awake. I missed him keeping the nightmares away.

"Yea Dad?" I answered groggily trying to hide the shakiness of my voice.

"You were screaming again? You alright?"

"Yea dad, I'm fine. It was just that movie we watched last night…I guess it kind of messed with me."

Charlie shook his head laughing. "I hate to break it to you Bells, but "Signs" is not a scary movie. Don't worry; I'll remind Edward to keep a glass of water on your nightstand just in case the aliens attack. " He closed the door but I could still hear him laughing as he walked down the hall. Better to let him think I was afraid of some dumb alien movie than to tell him that I was really afraid of becoming a monster myself.

Six nights in a row I'd had that dream and as I stepped into the shower, I wondered if I should talk to Edward about it already. It would only be a matter of time before something slipped through the cracks and he'd find out that although I was committed to my decision, the closer the time came the more freaked out I was. We hadn't really talked about any of it. There really wasn't much time with the way Alice was buzzing around us making wedding plans.

I scrubbed at my arms and legs trying to wash away the "damned spots" that I knew weren't there but was seeing anyway. So much had happened in two weeks and I hadn't realized how much of a toll it was taking on me. Jacob knew about my engagement and refused to talk to me, Renee was beyond pissed at me and refused to show up for the wedding, and after spending more time with Charlie and my "human" friends, I found that saying goodbye was going to be harder than I thought.

As I was pondering all this the shower curtain pulled back and I slipped falling backwards, startled into Edward's arms.

"Edward! What the hell?" I screeched, looking up at him. He was frowning for the first time since the night of our official engagement.

"I should be asking you the same thing Bella. What in the hell are you in here doing? I could hear you crying all the way from outside." He pushed me up, righting me on my feet and turned off the water before handing me a towel. I hadn't realized I'd been crying too.

"Well Edward…you do have an extraordinary sense of hearing." I smiled leaning forward to kiss him. He smiled back wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me from the tub. As soon as my body pressed against his I forgot what I was upset about. I melted into his arms…into his kiss and all was right in my world again.

"Nice try Swan but you're not distracting me from this one," he murmured into my lips when I came up for air. "Tell me why you were crying."

I looked at him from under my lashes trying to gauge whether I should just blurt it out or ease into it. I could see the worry lines etched into his perfect face and felt guilt eating at me. We were getting married in a few weeks...keeping any kind of secret from him was wrong.

"I'll tell you," I finally sighed out. "But not right this second. Let me think of how first." I fisted his shirt, leaning up on my toes to kiss him again but he pulled back.

"See now I'm really worried. What could have possibly happened in the two hours I was gone?"

"Nothing Edward, I promise we'll talk about it later."

I spun out of his arms and left the bathroom. He followed me to my room and I could see in his face that he wanted to keep talking but I didn't give him the opportunity to ask me. I talked about any and everything I could think of to avoid the topic. It seemed he let it go as we drove into town and talked about what Alice had done with the wedding over night. I wouldn't have thought it possible but in only two weeks, she'd gotten mostly everything done.

"Convenience of the internet she says, but I know better. I've checked her phone. She's been making phone calls at 3 in the morning to places I never even heard of and that's saying something. She's ordered your dress already but her minds been like a vault so good luck with that one."

"Wonderful. I can just see it now. Lots of lace, lots of frills-"

"Hopefully lots of cleavage," Edward interjected with a smirk.

"I highly doubt you want all our wedding guests getting a look at the goods," I said laughing, reaching for the door handle. Edward reached across me pulling the door shut. For a moment I forgot to breathe as I stared into his smoldering eyes.

"You're right," he said pecking me on the lips shocking me back to life with their iciness. "I'm going to get a label for them that says –For Edward Cullen's eyes only-." He came around to my side, helping from the car and leading in me into the mall, stumbling on my feet. It'd been a while since he dazzled me like that but I loved it. It was like the first time, every time.

We had a seemingly normal day, seemingly because we actually got into the mood of newly engaged people getting ready for their wedding. I couldn't ignore the new light that was shining in Edward's eyes as we looked for things to put in our "new home". Memories of my dreams were scratching at the corners of my mind but every time I looked into his amber eyes I was reminded I didn't have to be that monster, and every time he kissed me I was reminded that he loved me and wouldn't let me.

Back at the house, I was surprised to find all the lights out.

"Where is everyone?" I was only partially curious, staring at Edward's ass while he was bent over in the trunk getting our bags.

"I sent them all away," he said turning to face me. A sly grin spread across his face as he slipped ten of my bags onto his index finger then turned towards the stairs. I picked up what was left and followed him into the kitchen. It was nearly pitch black in the house and before my eyes could focus Edward had me in his arms pressed against the wall.

"Alice has us booked solid for the rest of the week so I wanted to have you all to myself for a few hours before she could find more stuff for us to do. No annoying little pixie, no teasing brothers, no smiling parents. Just me…you…and the bed."

His cold breath washed over my skin making me quiver. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tilted my head to the side letting his lips travel from my cheek to my neck. He inhaled deeply, pressing me harder into the wall.

"I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to miss your scent. I absolutely love it but it still burns like hell."

"So sorry to make you uncomfortable," I grumbled pulling away. He shook me gently, forcing me to face him.

"Good thing I'm such a glutton for punishment. I wouldn't care if you had flames sprouting from your skin, nothing would ever make keep my hands off you."

Edwards's lips pressed against mine so quickly and so hard I didn't have to formulate a response in my head. Instead I grinded my lower half into him and clutched his hair, trying to kiss him back with all my might. I closed my eyes as we blurred up the stairs, half dizzy from his speed and half from his kiss. He pushed me back on the bed, drinking me in with his eyes and then grabbed my hands pulling me them to the hem of his shirt.

Standing on my knees I pulled it up and over his head, then let my hands and eyes follow down his body. I felt him tense and relax under my palms while I ran my hands over his chest and down to his belt buckle. I pulled it open slowly, staring into his eyes, trying to show him how much I wanted him. My mouth was nearly watering.

Slowly he ran his hands up my arm and then cupped my face gently in his hands.

"This I'm definitely going to miss," he said running his thumb over my cheek. I could feel the blood rising to the surface skin. "And your eyes. I'm definitely going to miss the color of your eyes." He kissed me gently exhaling so deeply that I couldn't see straight. I felt him lay me back, felt what little of his weight he allowed me to feel pressed against my body, felt his icy lips pressed against mine but that was it until he pulled away. Once my head cleared I realized he'd gotten me out of most of my clothes without me knowing.

"What happened to my clothes Edward?"

"They're on the floor…where they belong," he said smirking

"Well you're laying on the dazzle effect pretty heavy. Would you mind easing up a bit? I…you know…want to be an active participant here." I pulled myself up against the headboard still feeling groggy. Edward pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and then flopped on the bed beside me resting his head in my lap.

"Sorry, but you know I'm not going to be able to do that for much longer. Call me overindulgent if you must, but I'm savoring every last moment of your human life."

There was a strange tone in his voice. One that I couldn't quite place. One that I didn't necessarily like.

"You don't sound so excited to have me like you anymore. Please don't tell me you're changing you mind?"

I didn't think I could take Edward going back on his word in that moment but didn't have time to dwell on it. Edward flipped over and pulled me underneath me so quickly that it knocked the air out of me. He stared down intently into my eyes, so intently that I knew whatever his next words they were going to be sincere.

"Make no mistake Bella. I want you like me. In fact…I need you to be like me. If you think I'm having a moment of indecision then you're wrong. I wouldn't make it one day knowing you weren't on this earth anymore and none of the family nor you are too keen on letting me follow. You will…in a few weeks…be like me."

My gulping must have given it away. It wasn't that what he said scared me; it was more that I didn't like to hear the time said out loud. I still wasn't happy about the fact that, when it came down to it, my hand was being forced in this. I still didn't like that someone else had given us a time limit.

"That's what's wrong isn't it?" Edward slipped his hands behind my head, cradling it but holding me so I couldn't turn away. "You don't want to do this anymore."

"No, that's not it," I said telling the truth. "That's not it at all. It's just that well…Um…." I couldn't find the right words to explain how I felt. Staring into Edward's eyes all I could think was how I needed to choose my words carefully because the look of guilt on his face was enough to make me cry.

"Tell me Bella. You know you can tell me anything. Please. I know something's been on your mind for the last few days. It's been driving me nut that I still can't hear you. Please just tell me."

His pleading kicked my brain into gear and I just spit it out.

"Every time you leave me I have nightmares about being a ravenous vampire…killing all my friends and family…Killing you…and being one of Aro's little pets!"

Edward didn't blink. He didn't move. He just stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever then cracked a smile.

"What…I'm not family to you?" he burst into a fit of laughter until I whacked him on the shoulder.

"This isn't funny," I chided and pushed him off me. Edward moved back to my side pulling me into his lap with my back to him and wrapping his arms around my waist. He leaned forward brushing his cheek against mine, comforting me enough that I absentmindedly reached up and curled my fingers in his hair.

"Bella love…its okay. If you weren't nervous about this I'd have to question your sanity. If it would make you feel more comfortable we can talk about it…I think we should…In fact I want to. And as for you being Aro's little pet…it wasn't like a sexual pet was it? Because I'd be pretty jealous."

I shivered with pure disgust and slunk down deeper in Edwards lap so that my head was lying on his thighs and I could look up at him. His fingertips danced over my bare skin then his hands came back up cupping my breasts and kneading them. I closed my eyes moaning and rolled off his lap so he could lie on top of me again.

"Promise me you won't let me be too crazy," I whispered.

"I'll do my best," he whispered back before gently pressing his lips to mine. The kiss grew hungry and passionate. Before long we were both gasping for air groping wildly at each other. I shimmied out of what little clothes I had left on while Edward lavished my neck and chest with his lips and tongue. What started out as a gentle love making session quickly turned into something a little dirtier.

Edward pinned my hands to the bed, working his way down my torso, achingly slow. I squirmed beneath him, twisting in his grasp and trying to direct the path of his kiss. He seemed to know where I wanted his mouth and grabbed my thighs pulling them apart. I gasped clutching the sheets when his head sunk between my legs. My breath came out in pants as he worked me with his tongue and then I couldn't breathe when he added his fingers.

I felt the heat spreading across my body, felt that I was getting ready to explode when he stopped and flipped me over so I was straddling him. I kissed him hard on the mouth, willing myself to relax…to last, but his cool hands on my back had me whimpering to finish. I felt like a teenage boy, unable to control myself, and tried to distract myself by starting my own slow descent to his waist.

He stopped me, pulling me gently by the arm so I was hovering him. I watched him close his eyes. Watched him swallow back what I could only assume was his venom; before he slowly opened his eyes to look at me.

"I want to watch you," he whispered, confusing me.

"Watch me what?" I was still vibrating with need and finding it hard to steady myself.

"I want to watch you…take me in your hand and…"

Edward seemed to not be able to articulate to me what he wanted but somehow I already knew. I looked down where his straining erection was standing full and delicious between us, then back into his eyes. Slowly I reached down and grabbed him, letting my hand slide over the length of him and placed him at my entrance. I braced myself for the pressure and pushed onto him. The sensation made me gasp as our bodies made contact. Edward pulled his hands up to my waist motioning for me to move.

I let him guide my body gently at first and then took over so I could pick up the pace. He closed his eyes, fisting the sheets as I rode him. I let my head fall back, rested my palms on his chest, and rode out the waves until the knots starting coiling in my stomach. A flush of heat washed over me from the scalp down, setting me on fire. Only Edward's cold hands on my back kept me from bursting into flames.

"I'm so… I'm so close," I panted out to him trying to keep my frame of mind. My impending orgasm had my head swirling but I was trying to hold out. There was no better feeling that having him finish with me.

"Let go Love," Edward whispered back, leaning up and wrapping his arms around my back. He pulled my body flush with his, thrusting upwards, and after a few seconds I fell apart…piece by piece…convulsing in his arms. He followed suit, warming me from the inside out, and then collapsed against the bed bringing me down with him.

My eyes became slits against the setting sun. My chest was heaving as I lay on top of him still unable to speak. I knew what was coming. I wasn't going to make it another min…

When I woke up Edward wasn't in bed with me anymore. I didn't panic, he'd left the bedroom door open and the light from downstairs had filtered into the hall. I got up, threw my clothes back on and headed for the stairs but before I got there, Edward poked his head out of Carlisle and Esme's room.

"Could you come in here for a minute Love?"

He held his hands out for me, wrapping one arm around my waist when I got to him and led me into the room.

Carlisle and Esme were seated on the couch that faced the window snuggled close together. Across from them on the floor was a plush carpet covered in pillows. Edward sat there and pulled me down against his side.

"Bella honey," Esme started with a warm smile on her face, "Edward was just telling us you've been having some trouble sleeping. We thought now would be a good time to discuss things with you…if you don't mind of course."

The blood rushed to my face and I stared into my lap. I hadn't felt this embarrassed around them since the first time Edward and I had sex and Carlisle was checking for "internal damages".

"Um…yea. Trouble sleeping. Right," I stammered out. Edward squeezed my hand for comfort but it wasn't working. All I could see was the blood red eyes and the blood covered clothing from my dreams.

"Why don't you tell us what's bothering you and we can try to work that out first okay?" Carlisle suggested coming over to sit near me. Esme followed suit and the four of us huddled on the carpet while I recounted my recurring nightmares and "expressed my feelings". I'd had plenty of conversations with my "in-laws to be" but never had to bear my soul as much. I didn't hate it. It felt natural: as though I were really part of the family because no one had secrets in the house and now neither did I.

"What you're feeling is normal Bella. I suppose. None of us had a conscious decision of this so it's only natural that in seeing all you've seen it would play on your psyche. But I promise you we'll make this as easy as possible for you." Carlisle hugged me around the shoulders and as I rested my head on his shoulder I looked at Edward and it hit me.

Looking into his eyes in that moment I knew the only for this to be done and for us to be okay would be for him to do it himself. For Edward to make me his, leave his mark on me…a mark of his own and not a re-opened one like the one on my wrist, that's had to be the way.

"By the way, you were talking in your sleep again. About Jacob." Edward said grimacing and pulled me back to his side. "We don't have to tell him anything. I'm sure once we're gone and you don't come back he'll figure it out on his own."

"I know we don't have to tell him Edward," I mumbled more to the floor than to him. "I just feel like I should. Why make him wonder…make him worry. He's my friend. He deserves to know." Just thinking about our last conversation brought the sting of tears to my eyes.

"The fact of that matter is that part of our treaty still stands and especially because it's you. I don't want to have to fight him and I don't want another attack on our family which is what it will come down to if you tell him. I just want this to be as easy for you as possible and if it means being ghosts in the night…then so be it. As far as he's concerned this is the only way."

"Can we stick to one horror movie at time please…I'm thinking I'm going to have a hard enough time being a vampire and not eating people to be a ghost too!"

Esme reached to squeeze my hand but I pulled away. I understood their logic, on some level agreed with it, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard to swallow. In the end I agreed. I knew they were right.

We discussed that because I had to be in Volterra at the end of summer, Edward and I would get married here so Charlie could walk me down the aisle, and then we head off to Carlisle's villa in Montepulciano. There Edward and I would have a few days to enjoy our honeymoon before the family followed for my change. After reporting to Aro as promised we'd travel back to the states to the house in Alaska.

Edward was mostly silent on the way home which was fine. I had a thought swimming around in my head that I need to focus on. While sitting with Esme and Carlisle, I couldn't stop looking at Carlisle mouth. His teeth that would become my undoing. His mark on me forever. It felt…wrong. I looked at Edward mouth, his lips that I loved more than any other of his body part, I could kiss him for hours. I'd planned to, once I was changed and didn't need to breathe, I planned on spending the better part of my days attached to his face preferably undressed.

"I want you to be the one to change me," I blurted our just as he was opening my front door. Charlie was setting the table and looked up at us smiling when I crossed the threshold. Alone. Edward was still standing on the porch frozen in his tracks.

"Well come on in guys. I don't want this….whatever this is that I made to get cold."

"Yes. Come inside Edward," I said with a smile and my best "I know you're going to rip me a new one later but remember my dad is standing here and I love you" face.

I could feel him glowering at me all through dinner and over talked to compensate for the fact that Edward was behaving abnormally statuesque. Once Charlie cleared the room and was out of earshot I knew I was in for it.

"I know what you're going to say but if you would just hear me out, I promise you my reasoning makes a lot of sense," I started before he could say anything. Edward stood next to me hold a dish towel and nodded as he dried the plates.

"You said you wanted this to be as easy for me as possible right? Well while were talking I started thinking about what was going to be done. Carlisle putting his mouth on me, his teeth penetrating my skin, his venom poisoning my system."

"You're sexualizing it Bella. That's a little….gross." Edward shook his head slowly, turning to put a plate in the cabinet above his head.

"Well, that's exactly my point. There is a slight sexual connotation there, I mean your venom is technically a body fluid right?

"I guess you could say that," he answered skeptically.

"Well would you want any of his other fluids in me? His saliva…his…"

"What are you getting Bella?"

"Isn't it sort of the same thing as having Carlisle's" and then I nodded at his lap because I couldn't bring myself to say the words let alone look at him and say it. Edward didn't seem to follow until he realized what I was looking and cringed.

"God Bella…that's disgusting! If that's the case then I've had…" His whole body shook and for a moment he couldn't meet my eyes. Then he shook and his and waved his hands in front of him in a firm no.

"Bella, I see your point…to a degree. I wish you never put that thought in my head but that's beside the point. The point is that I don't know what's going to happen if I taste your blood again. I wasn't going to say anything see as though we're so close to not having to deal with it anymore, but your blood is in my system. A lot of it. I can taste it on my tongue when I'm around you. It's gone to a slow burn to me feeling like I'm constantly eating fire."

Unconsciously I took a few steps back from him. Not because I was afraid but because like him, I had and aversion to causing him any pain. If just being around him was hurting him this much then I didn't want to wait much longer.

"Well...Edward. Bite. Don't suck," I rationalized. Edward shook his head and turned towards the hallway. Charlie's eyes were glued to the TV so in the blink of an eye, Edward flew past him, and up the stairs. I kissed Charlie goodnight and followed up the stairs. I didn't want this conversation to be over but I didn't know how to win.

When I got upstairs, Edward was stretched across my bed in black boxer briefs. After all this time I was still stunned by his beauty and made quick work of showering so I could crawl into bed with him.

I returned to the room to find him thumbing through the pages of my worn copy of Romeo and Juliet. I slid up next to him, letting my body slide against him until I was flush with his chest and in his arms. I pressed my lips to his bare chest, inhaling his scent.

"Juliet could not live without her Romeo. She kissed his lips in hopes that some poison still lingered there, enough to take her life away with his. That's what I want Edward. Your lips," and I pulled myself up taking his face gently in my hands to make him stare into my eyes. "I want your lips, to be the last thing I feel soft against my skin. I want your perfect teeth leaving your perfect mark on me so the world will know I'm yours. I want your venom, to be the one that poisons my system and makes me like you."

Edward closed his eyes while I let my lips fall on his. I stayed still, listening to him breathe in and out. He wrapped his arms around me, the book falling with a soft thud to the floor. His front teeth grazed across my bottom lip and I let out a small moan. He stiffened then relaxed slowly, releasing me from his grasp.

"Okay," he breathed out with his eyes still closed. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll be the one. Besides, I like the idea of being the only man to have ever been inside you."