AN: This is my 2nd or third HP fic. I hope you like it. Anyway. This will be dark. If you can't handle self abuse or abuse in general read this at your own risk. Any way I'll start this fic. It's a song fic. The song in this first chapter is Hello by Evanescence and Vindicated by Dash Board Confessional.
Also I wrote this before the 6 th book came out so there will be differences.
Playground school bell rings again, rain clouds come to play again
Spring break was almost over . As usual in London the weather was cold, wet, and windy. I sat on my window box playing on my electric guitar. (AN: Hermione is OOC in this fic). I play as I watch the rain slide down the window kissing the glass.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
My look had changed since fifth and sixth year. In Sixth year I had beaten Voldermont. As fucking Harry Potter lay unconscious. At the end of sixth year everyone worshipped Potter. He never told anyone that it had been Hermione Anne Granger. Nor did Ronald Weasley.
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to, hello
My once bushy brown hair was now long, black and sleek. I had also charmed my eyes olive green and streaked my hair olive green. I had all accomplished this by magic. I now had three tattoos and piercings. I had a heart with a black dagger through it on my lower back.
if i smile and don't believe
I had gotten a black rose with the thorns circled around my upper arm. My last tattoo was a black dragon that was on my left hip bone. I had pierced my left upper ear and put an olive green stud in it. I had pierced my tongue with an olive green stud. My belly button had a black crescent moon.
Soon i know i'll wake from this dream
I also had a completely black wardrobe and I had begun to cut myself. I had done this after years of abuse from my father. I would be returning to Hogwarts tomorrow. I was selected for Head girl. The old me would have been ecstatic. But I didn't give a rat's ass. The head boy was Draco Malfoy. Not that I cared about that either. I stopped playing my guitar and got in my bed. Might as well get sleep before he comes in to beat me.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
"Girl get up." My drunk father yelled dragging me out of my bed.
I just went limp. 'What's the use of fighting it?' I did not cry out as he kicked and hit me on diffrent parts of my body. I just laid there and took it. After he was finished He threw me against the wall. I just slide down it. I painfully got up and went to bed. Before I went to sleep I cut my arm and let the blood flow.
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide, don't cry
I awoke to stiff limbs and pain. I climbed out of bed and packed my extra clothes. I then put on my black mascara and green eye shadow. I made sure to apply my black lipstick. I then walked down the stairs. After that I apparated to Platform 9 3/4.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping, hello I'm
Still here, all that's left of yesterday
I boarded the Hogwarts Express to find an empty compartment. The sound of students laughing and catching up did not faze me at all as I walked down the aisle searching for a compartment. I found one at the end and walked in. I placed my trunk etc. on the seat across from me and then grabbed my c.d. player. I slowly sat down wincing in pain and closed my eyes as the music washed over me taking me away.
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated
[Chorus]
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that
[Chorus]
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]
[Chorus]
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
I was so engrossed in the lyrics and the volume that I did not hear the compartment door open. Nor did I see when the empty space across from me was occupied. I was oblivious to the gaze that was on me until I felt a tap on my knee. I jumped from the sudden contact. I opened my olive green hues to see a silvery blonde boy with grey orbs. I blinked.
He motioned for me to take off my head phones. I flipped him off and closed my eyes, ignoring his expression of shock.I felt the tapping again. I sighed in annoyance and removed my head phones glaring at him.
"What do you want Malfoy?" I asked with a growl.
"Merlin Granger is that you?" he asked in shock.
"No it's lucifer." I replied sarcastically.
"What ever. Heads are wanted in the compartment. By Mcgonnagall" he said.
"What ever I'll be there. Now get out of my face." I said.
He looked at me one more time then left. I stood up and fixed my black tube top and black cargo pants. I had healed myself with magic so you could not see the bruises on my arms and back. I removed my headphones and slowly walked to the heads compartment. I opened the door and stepped in ignoring the faces that looked at me in shock and confusion.
"Glade you could join us ." Professor Mcgonagall said.
I just nodded my head and looked around for a vacant seat. The only seat that was available was by Malfoy. With a resigned sigh, I sat down. She then started to tell us about our head duties. The hallways, the dances, etc. After that she gave us the schedules and the I returned to my compartment. Malfoy trailing behind me despite the glare I gave him.
I sat back down stretching my feet across the seat and looking through my bag took my journal out. I grabbed a quill and a razor studying the edges to make sure it was sharp. I smiled grimly and with a slide of my fingers slit my wrist shallowly. I wandlessly took out a jar and let my blood flow freely into it. I looked up at Malfoy to see him once again looked shocked but he said nothing. He just watched as the blood dripped into the jar. Once I had a good amount of blood, I sealed the jar with a cork.
"Why did you do that Granger?" he asked.
"What ever happened to calling me mudblood?" I asked in a dead voice.
"I can do what ever I want." he said.
I looked at him again and shrugged. 'If that's the answer he wants to give what ever.' I then started to write in my journal:
I am away from that son of a bitch. I am on my way to Hogwarts. I can't wait for the school year to be over. My enemy is in the same compartment as me. I am just ignoring him. We are approximately an hour away still.
I will take a nap and once we arrive I will go up to my dormitory. They told me where it was by my request. I do not want to sit with people who hate me. I will just sleep till the morning. I have to share a common room and bathroom with Malfoy, but I couldn't give a shit.
I will at least have something to do if ever I get bored. I made sure to bring my guitar with me. I also brought a couple of books with me. Did I forget to mention I'm a pureblood. My parents are dead but I get the family fortune, the house, and I will be resorted.I also have a brother, Whatever. I'm fucking tired now so I'll sleep.
I closed my journal and placed it in my pack. I then stretched out and closed my eyes. I laid there for a time. I eventually feel asleep despite the pain.I slept for 15 minutes and then woke up. I looked to see Malfoy asleep as well. Slimy fucking ferret.
I sat there for a time watching him sleep. My eyes slide over his silvery blonde hair,full lips, and over his lithe strong build. I took my gaze away from him once the compartment door slide open. I glanced ip with a look of boredom growling when I saw who they were.
"Wow mudblood that desperate for friends are ya?" Potter said.
"I'll be your friend." Weasel said looking at me with lust filled eyes.
"Get the fuck out of here." I said my voice deathly low.
"But we want some fun before we arrive." Potter said.
"I wouldn't give you any fun if you paid me a million galleons." I said with disgust.
"So you'd give it to us for free then." Weasel said advancing to me.
"Fuck no." I said.
"We don't take no for an answer." Potter said grabbing me.
"Get your fucking hands off me." I said as I began to struggle. I glanced over at Malfoy to see he still slept on oblivious to the noise.
They dragged me out of the compartment and into an empty one.. They then put a silencing spell on the room.
'Stupid idiot how the hell do I let this happen?'
I was then wrestled to the ground, by the Weasel. Potter started to unzipped my trousers, while Weasel went to my top pulling it down. I kicked and bit but it was no use as Weasel straddled my waist.
I felt Potter trail his right hand up to my inner thigh. I kicked him. He grabbed my leg with his left hand and held it to the ground. I tried to buck gasping as i was slapped accross the face by The Weasle. Potter's hand was about to disappear into my knickers, but the compartment door slamming open distracted him . I was not able to see who it was as Potter was dragged off of me.
The next was Weasel who had removed my top. I quickly covered myself with my hands. I glanced up to see Malfoy and Zabini in the room. They had a look of disgust that was replaced by shock as they saw my state of undress. I motioned for them to turn around with my unflinching turned Malfoy with his jaw set Zabini with a blush.
I pulled my top up and zipped my cargo pants back up. I then stood up and pulled my top up to A presentable standard. I then smoothed my pants over, ran my hands through my hair, and cleared my throat.
"So what made the two of you come in here." I asked.
"Well we thought it odd how all the compartments had noise in them, but this one." Zabini said.
"We decided to check it out." Malfoy said.
"Good thing we did." Zabini said.
I just nodded my head and stared at them unflinching. They looked me over again taking their time to study my appearance. Their eyes widened once they noticed all of the bruises.
'Fuck I wasn't able to put the glamour back on.'
Their eyes returned to my face Malfoy looking murderous, Zabini madder than hell.
"What the hell happened to you?" Malfoy asked.
"When the fuck did the two of you start to care?" I asked venom in my voice as I glared at them.
"Longer than you know." Zabini answered.
"Yeah, right." I replied shoving past them slamming the compartment door closed.
'Thanks is for the weak. Plus I will not give the Slytherin Princes their thanks. That they deserve.' I then walked back into my compartment. I sat down and then I grabbed my c.d. player and listened to the gritty lyrics of Halestorm, relishing the heavy guitar rifts.
Ten minutes later the Hogwarts Express screeched to a stop . I stood up and promptly pulled my school robes on. I grabbed my trunk, put my CD player away, and exited the compartment. I went to an empty carriage and saw the threstel. (An: Is that what it's called?) I just blinked and then stepped into the carriage,closing my eyes waiting for it to move.
I then heard the door open. 'Fuck I don't want anyone else in here with me.' I opened my eyes to see Zabini and Malfoy step in. 'Well aren't I lucky.' I thought with sneer directed to them.
"So what happened to you?" Zabini asked.
"NONE OF YOU FUCKING BUSINESS." I yelled.
"Geeze Granger, we're just trying to help." Malfoy said hands held up in surrender.
"SO ALL THOSE YEARS YOU CALLED ME MUDBLOOD IT WAS YOUR ATTEMPT TO HELP ME!" I yelled
They did not say anything, just stared in pitty. I just glared at them again and closed my eyes. I blocked out the questions. I listened to my heart beating And concentrated on breathing.
My eyes snapped open as the carriage came to a halt. I looked out of the window to see the castle that I secretly called home. I glanced at the two young men to see them both watching me. I glared once again and stepped out of the carriage. Not caring if they followed me.
"Welcome back students." Professor Mcgonagall said. Her gaze landed on me. I stared at her unblinking. She had a look of pity on her face. I just stared at her in indifference.
" the headmaster would like to see you at the feast" Professor Mcgonagall said.
I just nodded in reply and walked into the Great Hall following the crush of bodies and eager voices. 'I thought they were going to let me just go up to my room and miss the feast. I guess not.' I sat at the end of the Gryffindor table ignoring the sneers, glares, and cold reception.
I gave them a cold glare and they all turned their eyes to the front of the hall some shuddering in fear. I just sat there and blocked it all out, the speech, noise and sound of laughter all around me. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked behind me to be met with a pair of slate eyes. I blinked and sighed.
"What?" I asked irritated
"The old bat called us up." Malfoy answered with a sneer.
"What ever." I muttered as I got up.
I walked behind Malfoy approaching the long table where the faculty sat. The room grew silent watching I walked up to the front my head held high. I ignored the whispers I heard, as I reached the staff table. Dumbledore rose when we reached the front.
"I give you your Head Boy; Draco Alexander Malfoy and your Head Girl; Hermione Elizabeth Zabini." I heard a gasp rise through The Great Hall. I just blinked. 'Now you know who I am.' I will not be a Death Eater. My brother is neither a Death Eater. My parents were and now their dead along with all of the other followers and their LORD.'
I felt a gaze on me. I looked to my right to see Malfoy staring at me. He nodded his head as if to say. 'That's why I don't call you mudblood any more.' I just looked at him.
"Now I believe would like to be resorted." Dumbeldore said the sorting hat in his hand. I sat on the stool without a word. The sorting hat was then placed on my head. 'Hmm well it seems you've had a rough time. But you're still pure of heart. Would you like to stay in the current house or do you want a new one?'
I pondered the question. My eyes moved across the Great Hall. Peering from table to table. I thought and then my mind was made up. 'I'd like...'
AN: Review and tell me what you think. Now that ive edited finally. please let me know what you think. Tell me if you think anything needs to be changed. Also constructive criticism would be very much appreciated
