This is just a small story for someone with time to kill, or someone who's just in the mood for a short Christmas story. I might write anoter one if I feel like it. This isn't lovey-dovey or anything, no mistle-toe. Yeah, I know you're disappointed. Oh well, this is written kind of like an actual episode, if I wrote for the show. And the Santa thing was inspired by a Garfield comic. Enjoy! Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
"That's terrible news! We're on the case!" The Chief hung up on his secret phone in his watch, and called Keswick to get agents Kitty Katswell and Dudley Puppy.
"K-K-Kitty! The Chief needs you!" Kitty's face appeared on Keswick's wath, first surprised he had called then annoyed.
"NOW?" She yelled. "It's two days before Christmas Eve! And I'm in the middle of shopping for my siblings!"
"How close are you to finishing?"
"I have to get gifts for all 54 of my siblings, and I have 23 gifts so far. How close do you think I am?" She sighed. "Alright, I'm on my way."
Keswick hung up. "Okey Chief! Kitty's o-o-on the way!"
"Good! Get Dudley too! And hurry!"
"I'm so glad you could be here Dudley!" Dudley's aunt Jillian, who was a brown pug, hugged Dudley tightly. "So good to see you!"
"Can't...breathe!" Even though Dudley was atleast a foot taller than his aunt, she could squeeze him hard.
"Oh, sorry." She let go, and Dudley crashed onto the floor.
"Hi Dudley!" Dudley's three other aunts waved at him from the kitchen table.
"Aunt Mary! Aunt Samantha! Aunt Laura! Where are Uncle George and Uncle Henry?"
"Here Dudley." Dudley's two uncles were sitting on the couch. Uncle George, a beagle who was married to Aunt Laura, sat on the right side of the couch and was reading a book. Dudley's Uncle Henry, a silver poodle who was married to his Aunt Jillian, was on the left side of the couch and was watching football.
Dudley looked around. Was anyone else here? Nope. Just his mom, his four aunts, his two uncles...
"Cousin Duddy!" Dudley suddenly couldn't breathe, again. A brown girl puggle with blonde pigtails had her arms wrapped around his neck and was squeezing his throat.
"Cousin Dudley!" Another puggle, one with a gold coat, green sweater with a Christmas tree, and a football, ran towards Dudley head-first, crashing into his stomach.
"Cousin Dudley!" A cream-colored small puggle in a yellow dress, holding a Barbie Dog in her hand, came rushing to Dudley.
"Cah!" A silver-coated baby puggle crawled by Dudley's right foot, then bit into it using his first tooth.
"OW!" Dudley raised his foot to make sure it wasn't bleeding, then lost his balance and fell onto the floor. The puppies all jumped on him. "Play with us please! Play with us!" they yelled.
"A-A-Agent Puppy!" Dudley heard Keswick's voice and looked at his watch. "Th-the Chief needs you!"
"Thank goodness." Dudley muttered. "Okey, I'll be right there!" Dudley pushed the kids off and stood up.
"Where you going Duddy?" The little brown puggle Clarissa asked.
"Wanna wrestle?" Tommy asked.
"Wanna play Barbies?" Mandy asked. "I got another one in the car."
"Sorry, kids, but I have to go." Dudley said.
"Why so soon?" Aunt Jillian asked. "The kids were really looking forward to playing with you."
"I-um, work called. Said I had to do... something. Late." He said.
"That's what your sister Jeanie said." Aunt Mary said sadly. "And your brother Bill. And your brother John. And your sister... hey! I'm starting to see a pattern here!"
"Gotta go!" Dudley said. He rushed out the door as fast as he could. "Hey! Where's my watch?" He sneaked back in the house, snatched the watch out of his baby puggle cousin's hand, and left before his aunts could hear the kid cry.
"Okey Chief! I'm here!" Kitty, Keswick and the Chief all turned to Dudley, who looked like he was in a big fight.
"Oh my gosh! Are you okey?" Kitty rushed to look at his arms. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"
"I'm fine Kitty." Dudley said. "Just my cousins. I was at a small family party. I'm just glad I could leave soon, and that my whole family wasn't there."
"So what's the emergency?" Kitty asked the Chief.
"It's so top secret..." The Chief looked around. "That it's written down in this top-secret note." He dug into his pockets and pulled out an envelope.
"When can we open it?" Kitty asked.
"Not until you're completely alone." The Chief said. "Go to Kitty's apartment, and sit in a small corner or something."
"Why go through all that trouble when you could just tell us here?" Dudley asked.
"Because, it's really top-secret. Don't let ANYBODY ELSE see it."
"Okey Chief." Kitty took the note and she and Dudley ran to the car.
"Ohhhhhh, Christmas tree, ohhhhhhh, Christmas treeeeeeeeeee..." Snaptrap could hear those carolers outside. The second they came to his door, he rubbed his hands together evilly, he would throw the snowballs.
He was actually the only D.O.O.M. member at hedquarters. The rest of the DOOM members were shopping for their relatives, or atleast that's what he was told. Larry didn't have a big family, he was probably just looking for an excuse to leave so that he didn't have to spend the holidays in the shark tank. And for once, Snaptrap let it go, mostly because he was in the mood to just relax. Enjoy the holidays by himself.
But enjoying the holidays was imposible at the moment. There were carolers that kept coming to his house and Snaptrap, who would be feeling awkward because he had nothing mean yet no-grinchy enough to say or do, would slam the door in their faces, right in the middle of their song. Of course, he would open the door again a few minutes later and it would be a different group of kids.
This time, though, he was listening. And he could hear those kids. He knew what to do.
Dudley and Kitty entered Kitty's apartment. Kitty turned to Dudley.
"Okey Dudley. The Chief wouldn't give out a secret note unless the information was REALLY top-secret."
"That's what he told us." Dudley said. "THREE TIMES!"
"You're going to turn on my security system. I'm going to stand in the corner over there and read the note." Kitty walked over by the spot her chameleon used to be (grr, one more thing Dudley destroyed) and sat in the corner with the envelope in her hand.
"Okey Dudley, go outside!" She yelled across the room.
Dudley ran out the backdoor. He looked at his watch. "Okey, I'm outside."
"Good. Do you see the power box?"
"No."
"Look behind you you idiot!"
Dudley turned around. "Oh wait, there it is."
"Okey, now open it up and press that big red button."
"How do you open it?"
"Use the handle!"
"What handle?"
"Look at the power box!"
Dudley looked at the power box and saw the handle on the right side. He opened it.
"Now, press that big red button!"
Dudley pressed the button.
"Okey, you started the security system. Now I can read this-" Kitty opened the envelope and frowned. "HEY!"
"What?"
"The note isn't in code! If this was an emergency, the Chief would've written it in code!"
"What does that mean?"
"It means, well, I don't know! Maybe it isn't so top-secret!" Kitty read it to herself, then slapped her forehead. "I have to call the Chief Dudley! You just stay outside until I figure this whole thing out."
"But what do I-" Kitty hung up. "Oh man!" Dudley mumbled. "What an I supposed to do outside?" He looked around and saw a man selling hot dogs. "OO! HOT DOGS!" Dudley got on four legs and ran to the hot dog cart.
"I don't believe this!" Kitty yelled. "You tried to trick us into doing YOU'RE Chritstmas shopping!"
"Okey, so it wasn't MUCH of an emergency." The Chief said. "But how am I supposed to go Christmas shopping when the place is mobbed and I'll be trampled to death by people's feet?"
Kitty sighed. She had to admit, THAT was what would happen. "Okey, so we're getting your niece a dollhouse?"
"Yep! Good luck agents Katswell and Puppy!"
Kitty was about to stand up, when she remembered her security lazers were still on. "DUDLEY!" She yelled. "TURN THE LAZERS OFF!" She waited a few seconds and received no response. The security system was still on. "DUDLEY!"
Dudley and Kitty stepped in the mall. "Whoaaaaaaa! The Chief was right! This place IS mobbed! Hey- it's SANTA!" Dudley went running towards a Santa sitting in a chair holding a screaming little boy chipmunk on his leg.
"DUDLEY!" Kitty ran after him, but was stopped by a hand with a white glove.
"Hoho-HOLD on lady! You forgot your map!" A dog in a Santa suit gave her a map.
Kitty was confused. "Aren't you supposed to be over there?" Kitty asked, pointing to the other Santa.
"It's Bob's turn." The dog said happily. "Now all I have to do is hand out maps!"
"SANTA!" Just as one kid got off of Santa, Dudley came flying out of the air and landed on Santa's knee. The Santa screamed "SECURITY!" and two elves in glasses threw Dudley off of the Santa. Kitty helped Dudley get off the floor.
"Santa threw me off of him! He didn't give me a chance to say what I wanted for Christmas! That jerk!"
"What did you want for Christmas?" Whoa, where did THAT come from? Kitty was about to say "C'mon Dudley, we have to stay focused and find the Toys R Us." but instead... why did she say THAT? It was weird, but for a second Kitty might have felt sorry for Dudley. Maybe all his hopes and dreams were crushed by the cruel reality of the man in the Santa suit throwing him off...
"A JET PACK!" Dudley said happily.
"We have jet packs at HQ!" Kitty said annoyed.
"Well, I want my own! I always have to use one that's dusty or old or has a hair on it or..."
"Never mind!" Kitty said. "Let's just get going!" She grabbed Dudley's hand and wa once again stopped by the dog in the Santa suit. "Are you sure you don't want a free map?" he asked.
"No thanks, and do I know you?" Kitty asked.
"Um, no?" The dog said.
"Do I know you?" Dudley asked. " 'Cause I know you're not Santa, Santa's an elf not a dog, and I recognize you're voice."
"Well you shouldn't! I don't know you at all Dudley!" The dog was about to walk away when Dudley aimed a lazer gun at him. "Or, should you say, THE CHAMELEON!"
"The what?" The dog took off the beard and hat. "No Dudley, it's me!"
"My brother John!" John and Dudley hugged. "Wow, this is... kind of an awkward moment!"
"Any moment where I'm hugging you in public is an awkward moment litttle brother." John laughed. "But seriously, get off."
Dudley got off. "But wait, why are you here and not at Aunt Mary's party?"
"That depends, why are YOU here and not at Aunt Mary's party?" John asked.
They smiled. "The Puggle cousins!" They said at the same time.
"Who?" Kitty asked.
"We better get going." Dudley told John. "We need to find a dollhouse for The Chief's cousin."
"Okey, the Toys R Us is over there." John pointed.
"BYE!"
"BYE!"
"Um, bye?" Dudley pulled Kitty away. "So, um, you're brother John is a beagle, and you're a-"
"We're both mixes of every breed." Dudley said. "John got mostly the Snoopy-beagle look from Dad's side of the family. And I- sort of look like a beagle with a smaller nose."
"There it is!" Kitty yelled. "And it's- sold out of dollhouses!"
DING DONG
"Hah! I don't want to hear any of your dumb carols!" Snaptrap had finally done it! He had thrown the snowball at just the right time, just the right place, just the right-
"Hey this is Snaptrap's lair?" Kitty and Dudley were standing at Snaptrap's doorway. Well, Dudley wasn't standing, he just got hit with that snowball.
"Snaptrap's lair?" Dudley got up and brushed some snow off his face.
"Agents Katswell and Puppy? Aw, come on! I thought you were carolers!"
"We're here to see if you can give us a spare dollhouse." Kitty got out the receipt. "According to this receipt, YOU were the last customer and you bought, no joke, 54 dollhouses and 53 Transformers! Is that true?"
"Well, sure! I had to get presents for my hundred nieces and nephews!" Snaptrap said.
"Why?" Dudley asked.
"If I don't, my sisters might come over and argue with me, and I'm the youngest so I usually lose!"
"Oh, I'm the youngest too." Dudley said. "Two brothers and one sister."
"That's all? I have ten sisters and one brother, and they're ALL older than me! How fair is that?"
"Dudley! We need to stay on topic!" Kitty looked at Snaptrap. "So, um, do you have any spare dollhouses for the Chief's niece?"
"I dunno, probably." Snaptrap laughed. "But if you think I'm gonna give them to two T.U.F.F. agents- you're crazy!"
"But it's Christmas!" Dudley whined. "Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"
"No- and you'll never get a dollhouse from me! Ever-" Suddenly, Snaptrap got hit in the face with a snowball.
Dudley looked around. "Where did that snowball come from?"
From out of nowhere, like ten kids surrounded Snaptrap.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I've got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you'll listen to me.
What do you get when you're really very rude?
Especially near Christmas, a bad attitude...
What path do you take, being lonely and sad?
Do you want to spend Christmas being really bad?
Snaptrap mumbled "I'm already bad!"
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
With Christmas spirit you will go far.
You will live in happiness too,
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.
"Who ARE you kids?" Dudley asked.
The kids laughed. "We're carolers mister!" One of them said. "And our friends, the other carolers, said this guy would slam the door on 'em."
"So we gave him some Christmas spirit!" A little girl said. "In the form of a snowball!"
"I shall now- plot my revenge!" Snaptrap yelled. "You know, for next year."
"Merry Christmas!" The children yelled.
"There's the pile of dollhouses!" Kitty yelled.
Dudley gasped. "A brand new jetpack!" He yelled. "Ai-gi-gi!" He ran inside the house and put it on.
"Dudley! That's a MegaRocketGuy64! Do you even know how to use those?"
"No wait, no I don't!" The jet pack blew up and Kitty and Dudley, almost crashing into the camra, were suddenly given Santa hats. "Merry Christmas!" Dudley said, and he and Kitty smiled and posed.
THE END
I
