One Cold Winter's Night

It was cold and rain was pouring down like it would never stop. Light felt the cold chain against his skin. Ryuzaki didn't seem to mind, though he was still walking on bare feet. He was just the same as always, eating sweets and strawberry cake. Light watched him, while his body trembled in the cold that filled the room. But he refused to give in as long as Ryuzaki could still stand the cold. "Light-kun?" Ryuzaki's soft voice sounded loud after the long silence. Light was only startled for a few seconds. "Yes, Ryuzaki-san?" He answered, a bit suspicious. Ryuzaki smiled at him for less than a second and then got back to his serious face. His thumb was pressed against his lips. "Do you celebrate Christmas?" This strange question confused Light. "Well, normally I do. Why?" Ryuzaki thought about Light's answer for a while, while keeping his thumb pressed to his lips. Light couldn't help to stare at Ryuzaki's long, white fingers. They were looking paler than ever. Light felt the strange want to hold Ryuzaki's hands, so they wouldn't be cold anymore.

He awoke from his thoughts by hearing Ryuzaki's voice. "I was just thinking… Would you still want to have a Christmas this year?" Light stared at him, with wide and confused eyes. "Why do you ask me that?" He became more and more suspicious, but also more curious. "Because I see you as a friend and I wouldn't want to take something like Christmas away from you." Light was trying to read Ryuzaki's face, but his eyes were soft and not looking for any hints that would tell him that Light was Kira. Light shook his head. "Ryuzaki-san, I'm OK with this. This time of the year may be dark, cold and depressing, but things like Christmas could only interrupt the Kira-case. We shouldn't celebrate anything, until we solved it."

Ryuzaki's hand dropped, he was no longer pressing his thumb against his lips. "Are you feeling cold?" He asked, a bit confused. His eyes suddenly looked at Light's still trembling body. "I'm so sorry, Light-kun. I didn't realize it was that cold in here." He came closer. Light stared at the pale, black-haired boy in front of him. He was trying to find any words to tell him he was alright and wasn't cold at all. But his lips couldn't move and his body was shaking so bad that Ryuzaki wouldn't believe him. Besides, it would probably only make him more likely to be Kira, if he would lie now.

The boy came closer and Light could smell his sent. It was sweet, but that was probably because of all the candy he had eaten before. "Are you alright, Light-kun?" Ryuzaki's voice sounded worried. "I'm fine." His voice sounded almost like a whisper. 'Damn, why am I acting like this?' Light thought. Something cold touched his hand and another cold chain stroke his arm. Light looked down at his hand. The long, pale, cold fingers were now touching his. Confused, he looked up again and almost got a heart-attack when he saw two black eyes, staring right into his own. "Your hands are so cold, Light-kun." He heard Ryuzaki whisper, only a few inches from his own lips. The cold fingers tightened around his hand. "Do you want some hot tea? A warm piece of apple pie? I can ask Watari to bring anything you want."

Light swallowed once. "Anything I want?" He breathed. His head became blurry, now that the sweet scent was all around him. He couldn't think clearly anymore. "W-What do /you/ want, Ryuzaki-san?" He finally said, confused. Ryuzaki smiled, though Light couldn't see that. "What Í want, Light-kun? I want you to feel warm instead of cold. Is that wrong?" That last question activated something in Light's head. Wrong? What would be wrong? Ryuzaki holding his hand? The fact that his face was only inches from Light's? Weren't those wrong things?

What did Ryuzaki mean with 'wrong', after what he was already doing to him? And what was wrong with him? Why was he feeling like this? Why was only one thing hunting his mind? Ryuzaki… Ryuzaki… 'Stop it, Light!' He tried to tell himself, but his mind refused to listen. Slowly he bent forward, until his lips touched those from the boy in front of him. They felt so soft. Suddenly he realised what he was doing. Quickly he pulled his head back. Ryuzaki stared at him with thoughtful eyes. 'Please, don't let him think I'm in love with him. Or worse, that I'm Kira.' Was it really better if Ryuzaki would think Light was in love with him? Light couldn't tell.

Just when he wanted to defend himself, those soft lips touched his again. But this time Light hadn't moved at all. It was Ryuzaki who was kissing him now. And it felt so good. Slowly, Light freed his hand from Ryuzaki's cold fingers. His arms fold themselves around the small boy's waist. He was holding him close to his body. He wasn't feeling cold anymore, not at all. Warmth was all over his body. He closed his eyes, while they kissed. Ryuzaki's arms closed around Light's neck, holding him even closer. A strange feeling rushed through Light's body. Was it love, or just a strong want for it? Did it matter? Did anything matter at all, right now? He knew what he wanted and he was holding it tight at the moment.

Suddenly, Ryuzaki broke the kiss. He looked Light in the eyes. "Light-kun, isn't this a bit too wrong?" Light bit his lip. "Maybe it is, maybe-" But Ryuzaki didn't let him finish. "Who cares." He mumbled. He pressed his lips to Light's again, while he started to take off Light's shirt. Light was a bit shocked by the force that Ryuzaki used to take off his clothes. "Tell me you're Kira." Ryuzaki suddenly whispered in Light's ear. Furious, because of this insult, he ripped off Ryuzaki's shirt, too. "I. Am. Not. Kira." He hissed.

Ryuzaki smiled. This was just what he wanted. "You're Kira, you're going to kill me after this." He said. Light was busy taking off Ryuzaki's pants and with anger he ripped off the underwear, too, without blinking. "Is this what you wanted?" He growled. "Almost." Ryuzaki answered, just before he ripped off Light's pants and boxers, too. "Now what was your plan?" Light was still furious, but Ryuzaki kept smiling. His eyes were wide open, full of excitement. "Me being in control of you. Don't you like that idea?"

He pushed Light on the couch with so much force that he almost fell off again. But Ryuzaki was prepared and jumped right on him. "No, I don't like your idea…" Light whispered, still angry. But there was also hunger in his voice. This passion he had never felt before, was now pushing away his rage and using the energy for something else.

"You're Kira, I'm so certain about it." Ryuzaki whispered. He sounded sad, like he would feel sorry if Light really would be Kira. Light wasn't listening. He stared at Ryuzaki. "You're going to fuck me, aren't you?" He asked softly. He was a bit scared, but only slightly. He almost wanted this to happen. No, not almost. He wanted it. He wanted Ryuzaki to continue. He didn't care anymore. "Do it." He whispered.

Ryuzaki's eyes widened. "You want me to-" But Light didn't let him finish. "Please, just do it, for God's sake!" His voice was almost begging. With pleasure Ryuzaki gave in to Light's demand. "Give me all you've got. Let me prove to you that I'm not Kira. Did you hear me, Ryuzaki-san? I'm not-" Light couldn't finish his sentence. He moaned. Ryuzaki was pushing so hard that it hurt. His nails pierced into Ryuzaki's back. "Say you're… Kira!"

Ryuzaki was panting, but didn't give up. Neither did Light. "I'm not –Ow!- I'm not Kira!" He cried. Ryuzaki pushed even harder. The nails in his back really hurt, but gave him some satisfaction at the same time. "You have to be Kira, there's no other way!" He almost yelled, while he felt Light's nails sinking even deeper into his back. "Don't say that! You're wrong! – Ow!- You're… so… WRONG!" It hurt, it really did hurt. But it felt so good. There was nothing like this feeling, though Light knew it wouldn't last for so long anymore.

A few seconds later, he sighed heavily. His nails let Ryuzaki go and his hands lay motionless on Ryuzaki's pale back. Still he held the boy tight to his body. Ryuzaki panted and lay with his head on Light's chest. He heard the loud pounding of Light's heart. He smiled. He felt so happy now. Light let one hand slide from Ryuzaki's back, so he could brush through the boy's black hair with his fingers.

"I think I love you…" He whispered softly, still slightly panting. "I know I do love you, Light-kun." Was Ryuzaki's answer. Light felt his warm breath against his chest. He kept on brushing through Ryuzaki's hair. "Light-kun?" Ryuzaki's voice was warm and soft. "Yes, Ryuzaki-san?" Light answered. Ryuzaki smiled again. "Are you still cold?"