aN: First time to write a bleach fic XD…I really love this anime and I really love this unconventional pairing. I really know there is something between those two… Shinji almost cried when Hiyori was cut in half and Hiyori has a soft spot when it comes to the vaizard leader..hehe. Well I hope the Espada and Taichou writers of out there would give me the honor of reading or reviewing…or maybe both…Whatever creams your pie…what did I just said…too much talk must now shut up (to be continued at the end of this chapter)
Disclaimer
Hiyori: Do you think that hage writer ryt nd…something owns us…Are ya as stupid as that baldy over there
Shinji: Hey I'm not stupid you midget!
Hiyori: Ha I forgot you're a hage…Hage! Hage! Hage Shinji!
Shinji: (Vein alarmingly throbbing)
Hiyori: that bastard kubo guy owns us… How dare he cuts me in half that litte sunnuva bi-
Shinji: (Tries to restrain Hiyori) Well nevermind this little monkey… Ryt 'nd run13 doesn't own us, everything belongs to the genius of Kubo-san. Anyways here is the first chapter.
Story 1: LOVE DRUNK
Tapcher1 Hapcter1 Chapter 1 Pachter 1
It was an ordinary Saturday morning. Light was starting to seep through the vaizard abode. Everything around the abandoned warehouse is peaceful, although some may say not by appearance but otherwise in a long shot, it was quiet. Shinji Hirako had one of the best sleeps of his afterlife. He turned to look at the beams of sunshine flooding inside her window. The subtle cool of air and the sweet blond angel beside him. Hiyori Sarugaki the wild, loud, manner less, aggressive, annoying beast warrior in a small delicate package. She was either scowling, grinning, gritting her teeth, standing in an offensive stance or abusing him with her sandal but in this certain beautiful morning she stands out among all peaceful things. Her untied colored locks cascading all over her face and shoulders, her radiant face uncrumpled and her small figure curled up like a kitten. This was a sight that he could happily exchange for a beating after. This little unexpected angel started to stir up, she
felt so warm and relaxed, she opened her golden orbs to see (and feel) a figure beside her. Just like a knife slicing through the air a familliar noise could be heard.
WHACK
end of peace
" What the hell ya dickhead, what's yer perverted ass doing in my freaking bed" Shinji's eyes darted away as he rolled out of the bed with a loud thud.
" urgh, what the- ahh, ya freaking dumbass is that really necessary?", Shinji patted his injured face while throwing his evil death glares on her.
Hiyori stradled on top of him while Shinji lay perpendicular to the ground, she snatched Shinji's collar with one hand while raising the other hand with a sandal that was to attempt another bloody murder.
"I am not a perv and who would wanna be a perv around a midget", he teased
WHACK
Shinji should have flown to the otherside of the room if hiyori wasn't holding on him.
" keh, look who's talking, baldy", he massaged his poor defenseless face with his palm.
" answer my question shitface", she was absolutely in a pissed off mode.
Shinji flashed his infamous grin to her,
" ya don't remember" wiggling a suggestive eyebrow as emphasis. Little did she notice that he was in a dangerously close distance from his face. She shifted her gaze, unsuccessfully hiding her blushing features.
WHACK
" what the hell, was that just by frigging impulse, that hurt you idiot, do ya have plans to rearrange my fucking face like a rubix cube" Shinji's face withheld a sandal shape mark on his face but he was still thankful that she used the sandal not her fist. No bloody nose, good thing right, by Hiyori's standards.
"you dickhead better have not fucking messed up my dreams of being a virgin bride or I ought to-", she trailed off with a trembling and less menacing tone.
" stupid, I've known ya for more than two hundred years, I'm perfectly aware of that. ye really don't remember. Keh, that figures" he made a pathetic snicker.
Shinji closed the few inches gap between them " Ya know I have badass patience when it comes to ya, I respect you, I was always here willing to wait"
She was at awe, she noticed that the grin from shinji's face disappeared and that his eyes showed deep sincerity. The last statement
caught her very off guard, was this really the goofy Shinji? What is this guy implying? Was he serious?
Hiyori was ready to resort to her fist when Shinji grabbed her wrist with such force as if he was in a life or death situation.
THUD… The sound of a fallen sandal
He took the opportunity of capturing her bashful face for a chaste kiss. The kiss was only longing to display complicated emotion through a simple kiss.. It was almost ten seconds before everything registered in Hiyori's brain and for her to consider pulling out her mask, but surprisingly there was another option demanding to be considered. Part of her wants to kiss him back but then again when she was about to lean further Shinji took caution, this isn't the right time, before he snaps he settled for the consolation of a stolen kiss,
""
Both quickly jumped away from each other.
-/-/-/-/-/-
It was an ordinary Friday night for the vaizards. Hachi was reading an ancient kido book which he borrowed from Kisuke. Love was polishing his sunglass collection. Rose was playing tunes with his guitar. Lisa was reading her favorite erotic hentai mangas. Mashiro and Kensei went out to buy takeout and Shinji was in the middle of an intense ramble session courtesy of Hiyori.
SHiNJI! Dumbass! Dumbass! Dumbass!
" what? ya know I could perfectly hear y-" before he could finish his sentence, Shinji went flying a few feet away because of an impressively performed flying kick.
" Hiyori agh you sick little monkey, my nose shit, why do ya love making my nose as a primary target?"
" Quit yer yappin baldy, are you even dumber than yer ass?, ha", Hiyori kicked his shin that would leave a bruise that was made at least to last a week, he sat on Shinji's stomach while pulling his shoulder lenght hair and attempting to punch. Shinji was blocking her punch with one hand and pinching her cheeks with the other.
" what did I do now?", He shifted her feather light weight underneath him, Hiyori was pinching and stretching both of Shinji's ears. He pinned her strugling form.
Hiyori gave him a headbut. Shinji got off her, he cried in pain for he was trying to stop the blood flowing from his nose.
"agh bitch"
"ya trashed one of my slippers while yer training, that was my favorite pair, ya deserve that and more" she was about to charge again when Love interrupted.
Love grabbed Hiyori's track suit and shirt "Love let me go, I will kill that son of a bitch's ass" while Hiyori was struggling and Shinji was bleeding. Kensei and Mashiro returned.
KONBANWA MINA
Peace restored
" we brought pizza", Mashiro was giggly and gleeful as ever while Kensei was scowling behind her. All of the Vaizards took their place and ate the Pizza without qualms. It was silent then someone noticed something.
" hey Mashiro what's that?" Rose was interested in the small black bag near Kensei.
" We won a small raffle when we passed the market, Mashiro insisted on taking it since it was a prize."
" so what is it?" Lisa readjusted her glasses.
" it's Tequilla bottles", the group gathered around to see the bottles of liquor in the bag.
" Hey I think we're all done let's take a sip, Mashiro do you have glasses" Love asked
" yeah, I know it comes with the bottles, here" she sat down seven tiny glasses.
" what no sake cups?" Rose examined the little glasses. Shinji suppressed to stare at Hiyori while she cutely balance the glass on her nose.
" the man said that this was strong stuff, some people don't drink it without biting on limes and licking salt"
"keh, there's a ritual to drink stuff?" Hiyori place the glass down
" it has a strong kick and it's really bitter, so let's try it!" unusual for Kensei to say, everyone took a glass and Mashiro poured the liquid.
" hey why won't we make this interesting, let's put twenty bucks on the last person standing" Shinji flashed his devious grin. Unknown to the vaizards Shinji has a very high tolerance in alcohol, there were benefits with hidden drinking sessions with Kyoraku afterall.
" Sure, why not it's just twenty, how 'bout if the winner could choose what to eat for takeouts and has no chores buy takeout rights" Mashiro was getting all excited.
" nothing like a challenge for dessert" Kensei sat down a crisp twenty. All of the vaizards followed except for Hachi who passes out by even a little hint of alchohol and Lisa was off limits for alchohol, because she tends to be pervertively aggresive when drunk, so they went to their rooms instead.
" bring it on" Hiyori took the glass and so did the others.
"Kampai"
Everyone lifted the glasses to consume it's contents.
One shot
" god it taste so bitter, who drinks this stufft" Rose protested, he coughed from the sudden suprise flavor.
" us, that was nothing" Hiyori's eyes twitched on the sudden burning sensation of the liquor. Every participant was adjusting to the taste, except for Shinji who still maintained his cool
Two shots.. Three shots..Four shots.. Five shots..
" this is so bitter, I'm out, night everyone" Love stood from his seat and waved goodbye.
" I hate Tequilla, its better in the song, I'm out too, see you guys in the morning" Rose said. Shinji was sitting on the couch with Hiyori and they both were in a challenging mood.
Six shots.. Seven shots.. Eight shots.. Nine shots.. Ten shots.. Eleven shots.. Twelve shots
Kensei shook his head head from the daze he was feeling. Mashiro was starting to show a flushed form, she was tipsier than ever.
" Kensei could you give me a kiss pwease", she tugged on Kensei's shirt, pleading with pouty lips.
" get off of me Mashiro, I think that's enough" he stopped her hands that kept crawling in different places.
" don't be such a party pooper Kensei, a kiss goes a long way, pweety pwease"
" NO"
Thirteen shots.. Fourteen shots.. Fifteen shots.. Sixteen shots..
"It's a bit hot in here", Mashiro stood up and started to unzip her overall clothes. Shinji, Kensei and Hiyori's mouths gaped open.
"Oi, Mashiro wh- what are ya doing", Hiyori snapped. She was so near in peeling off her clothes, dangerously an inch away from showing her bare chest when she eventually passed out. Kensei stood up and rearranged her clothes, she hanged her on his back and he strided away.
" ei, Kensei you done" Shinji bobbed his head on the side.
" Maybe that was enough for dessert, you two go on, this woman is more trouble when drunk" Kensei nodded goodbye to the last drinkers standing
" oh yeah, Shinji take care of Hiyori"
" I am not about to pass out Kensei, maybe this baldy will ", Hiyori sprawled in the couch she looked at the swaying lamps hanging on the ceiling.
" This was easier than I thought"Shinji rubbed the back of his neck. He made a fulfilling yawn when
WHACK
" I am still here, dipshit", the slap wasn't that bad, but it still definitely hurts.
" Yare, yare, that hurts", He was sure that this will still be a long night.
Seventeen shots.. Eighteen shots..
Hiyori traced the brim of the glass it produced a small high pitch. Shinji turned his attention to her, she's beautiful when she's concentrating, her eyes wide for interest and her small face curling up a bit.
" What are ya looking at, dickhead"
" huh, ah nothing just wondering if yer ready to pass out, stupid" grimacing stupidly.
" keh in ya dreams, baldy", Hiyori crossed her arms, secretly she saw Shinji's grimace funny and charming 'what was she thinking' the tequilla was starting to get over her. Shinji poured the contents of the bottle.
" then let's go, kampai?" he raised his glass towards her
" kampai" again she was scowling at him. Both of them consumed it with one gulp.
Nineteen shots..Twenty shots.. Twenty-one shots..
That last twenty first shot broke the ice between them. They decided to take a Five minute break. They didn't fight at all within the break, they just simply chatted, about the stupid humans, stupid shinigamis and stupid but funny times they shared. It was a wholesome talk that the two of them, could only be the participants. They neither gave a shit about the bad mouthing and cursing. They could show their real selves, not that they don't, but with each other they were completely natural, no restrictions needed. They perfectly knew each other just like their zanpakuto. The Five minute break turned to a Forty minute break.
At this rate both were a bit slower in responses and back talks. They could both feel the burning in their tastebuds and throat. Hiyori was a bit tipsy while Shinji remained focus.
" ya know, ya could really drink Hiyori. Who would have known that a kid could drink that mu-"
Another slap.
" I am not a kid, Dumbass I'm as old as ya, baldy", she turned around.
" hey do ya keep count of how many slaps ya give me a day", soaking in the unsuprising pain.
" I lost track", she comically stated.
Shinji shrugged, " maybe you should go study math 10-" he frigging forgot the next part of his insult.
Hiyori slipped down the elastic red bands on her blonde head in a swift motion "shaddap ya .dickhead, the pigtails are...starting to irritate my head, at least I look less than a ... boy now"
She certainly did not look like a boy, that was very clear in his mind, though sometimes she looks like a bratty rag doll.. Her hair wasn't too curly, it cascaded in waves down her shoulder, it cropped her face perfectly. Her pale face touched by a hint of pink from the heat of the alchohol. Is the alchohol playing tricks on him.
WHACK
It pulled Shinji back to Earth, when she's drunk the slaps are less painful at least
" what's with the staring, what if ...I just start count again"
" um yeah fine" he presented the last bottle and poured it again.
More Tequilla shots..kinda lost count
" Oi, Hiyori how 'bout... um..we call it a night, we know in the end who'll wi-"
WHACK
That was a good wake up call, he's eyelids were growing heavier by the minute " dipshit, i'm not gwonna... loose to a lewd... like ya", On the other hand Hiyori was very drunk and half conscious. Although he was in pain Shinji flashed a grin. Hiyori gave him a threathening glare
"ya know I once read in a man..hanga,... that when you always hit and prank on a guy...you have a crush on him", Shinji squeezed one of his eye shut, expecting another painful slap, instead she laughed.
" HAHAHA, I'm not hitting... Hik..or pranking a guy, I'm.. Hik...hitting and pranking you, there's a difference", Hiyori faked a laugh. Shinji suppressed a chuckle, Hiyori's cute little hiccups was too funny to pass up, he's drunk but he still coherent, he had the upper hand, now is the best time to interrogate her, she was drunk and if something goes wrong he could blame it on the alcohol.
They finished their last bottle.
" So ya don't think of me as a guy?
Shinji moved from the other end of the couch to move closer to her, he was in a curious mode. He displayed a handsome grin, he wanted to make sure if she was just hiding under a pokerface. Hiyori balled her fist ' why the hell am I blushing. God he's so goddamn close'. Damn Shinji, Damn the tequilla.
" keh, hik..sure even if I kiss you I won't feel a thing"
Silence overlaped the conversation, after Hiyori's comment. Hiyori's hiccups stopped. Finally Shinji lightened the mood.
" A midget, kiss, that's interesting, do you know even how?" Hiyori scowled and blushed, it made him flash a cheeky grin. She was really drunk to try to hit him, it was hard to focus when the ground was wobbly, all she could do was to resolve to bad mouthing him with come backs.
" of course you dickhead but you would be the last person I would kiss in earth and soul society", she was really annoyed. First the hiccups now she's stuttering, 'it's because of that retard fool'
" really, Too bad you won't taste my cherry lips, keh what am I thinking, I would be better off to kiss a wall than y-"
Hiyori was 70% drunk and 30% emotionally unstable. When you sum it all up you get an drunk emotionally unstable Hiyori.
Poor Shinji?
aN: (Skip this if you don't care)
When I read fanfictions…I like it when all stories are compiled in one story account or whatever you call it…so even though all of the stories that would be posted here are three part fics…I have decided to put it all here
(stop skipping)
…Clift hanger…well it happens right…Please Read and Review…I'll update exactly 72 hours after…What is a cookie? o.0 …just wondering…still kinda new… comments, suggestions and violent reactions are well appreciated.
-nash Xp
