MacKynzie

Summary: Sandy ponders the past year.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing.

Lost and Found

There is something to be said for the homeless. They sit, night after night, in a door way praying that they'll survive till breakfast, or not. At least they know what could happen. And they have accepted this. Everyone one of them has their sob story, most of it's their own doing. But they do have an interesting take on life: Expect the world to kick you and you'll never surprised.

Since I've noticed this motto of sorts, I've seen it in other people as well. Their eyes have the haunted look of a wounded animal being trapped in a corner. They're spring-loaded, their nerves taught and ready to snap at any second. It's a daunting thing to come face-to-face with this fount of raw emotion and hopelessness.

And I never thought that I'd see it in my own home.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on him. That blue jumpsuit a badge of honor. Or maybe stupidity. I'd thought that I had seen 'The Look' before. I was wrong. Never had I seen such an endless well of despair. I didn't catch it all at once, only flashes of it. This kid was well-practiced at hiding his emotions. But in the split-second that he let it out, I could see it as plain as day.

And that was that. I knew right then and there that I would do what I could to keep him out of trouble. That jail would never become a part of his future. And I thought that I had solved the mystery of Ryan Atwood. I wasn't even close.

His mother showed up. Screeching onto the curb like some psycho. She jumped out of the car looking like a low-class hooker. Yelling at him that he should have stayed in juvie. And then Ryan turned toward me, and in that brief moment I saw that it wasn't the prospect of jail that put that haunted look in his eyes, it was his mother, or his home, or any one of a thousand things associated with it.

And so I despaired. There wasn't much I could do except keep him out of juvie. But I knew that he would be back. It would be fighting an uphill battle. So I gave him my card, knowing in my heart that he would never call and that I might very well never see him again. And he would join the ranks of the Lost Ones.

But then I was pleasantly surprised to hear his voice, telling me in not-so-many words that his mom had kicked him out and he was having trouble finding a bed for the night. So I jumped at the chance to make a difference in this kid's life. The idealistic and practical sides of me warring about the intelligence of putting up a kid that I didn't even know. My idealism won by a mile and I hopped in the car, not considering Kirsten or Seth's reaction to the criminal I was bringing in their midst.

But everything worked out. Sure, there were bumps along the way, big ones that threatened to derail the whole train. But we reached an equilibrium and I knew that everything would be okay.

And then Ryan's past showed up in the form of Theresa. I should have known that she would bring nothing but bad things. Not that it was all her fault, no, it takes two to tango. Me and Ryan are much more alike that he would probably admit. We both suffer from a white knight complex. It didn't matter that the chances of him being the father were infinitesimal, all that he cared about was that Theresa was a very good friend and that she was in trouble. He dropped everything. All that he had worked so hard for this past year, he dropped without a second thought.

And I couldn't stop him because I knew if I were him I would have done the same thing. So where do we go from here? I don't have a clue. But there is one thing I'm sure of: we found him once, we can do it again.

Please read and review! I know it's just a drabble but I had to get it out!

MacKynzie