Harry couldn't stand Ron. He just couldn't. Which was exactly why he had broken up with him three months ago, and he was feeling all the better because of it. Because now he was free to do whatever he pleased, he didn't have Ron hanging around all the time, never helping to clean the house and instead just making it messier. Harry took a long gulp of his coffee as he continued to try and convince himself of this complete and utter lie.
Yes, Harry was over Ron. Done and over with. He didn't love him, and he was moving on. Maybe he'd talk to the cute guy who worked at the Starbucks down the street the next day, he normally didn't go out with muggles but it could work. Or maybe even he could just go club hopping on his own one of these days, meet some people that way. Yes, he would do that. Maybe tomorrow.
Harry took another long gulp of coffee and sat the mug down. Yep. He was officially over Ron, he decided, he just had to be. Definitely. Over and done. Nothing there anymore. Nope. Nada. He was a new man now, single and ready to mingle.
A soft knock interrupted Harry from his long train of thoughts. He ignored it.
A second knock came, which Harry also ignored. He didn't feel like talking to anybody right then. And no, it wasn't just because he secretly wasn't over Ron and was too ashamed to even step out of his flat.
A third knock, and then the lock clicked open. Harry whirled around just as Hermione walked into the living room.
"God Harry, what have you done to this place?" Hermione asked, wrinkling her nose and gazing around at the mess. Okay, so maybe Harry hadn't exactly cleaned his place since Ron left three months ago.
"How did you get in?" Harry demanded.
"I'm a witch, remember?" Hermione said, holding up her wand.
"Oh…" Harry trailed off.
"So, still not over Ron I see," Hermione noted.
"Yes I am!" Harry countered.
"Riiight," Hermione said sarcastically.
"No really, I just decided this morning that I'm totally over him now." Hermione gave him a look.
"Stop lying to yourself Harry, you haven't stepped out of your flat for three months."
"Well that was then."
"And this is now and you're still locked up inside your apartment," Hermione replied, "I don't know which is worse, you or Ron." Harry's curiosity peaked at the sound of Ron's name.
"Ron?" Harry asked curiously.
"Haven't you heard? He's spent the last three months getting wasted and trying not to think about it, I don't see why you too can't just get back together already?"
"Well I'm still waiting for him to apologize," Harry said determinedly, "after all, he was the one running after all those other girls."
"You're worse than Ginny after Dean dumped her," Hermione sighed, "okay, fine, lets get you cleaned up, we're going out."
"Out? Out where? Why? I don't want to go out?" Hermione shot him an icy glare.
"We're going out because I'm not going to let you turn into a hermit, not go get showered and dresser or I will bathe you myself." Harry leapt out of his seat, rushing for his room, a few moments later he poked his head back out.
"Um, Hermione?" he called.
"Yeah?" Hermione replied.
"I don't have any clean clothes." Hermione could've killed him.
-0-0-0-0-0-
Hermione dragged a freshly showered and freshly clothed Harry behind her.
"But I don't want to go out!" Harry whined, resisting as Hermione pulled him along every step of the way.
"Yes you do, you need to get out of that place."
"I was perfectly fine there until you came along!" Harry argued.
"Ugh, just remind me to clean it when I get back."
"But I like the mess!" Harry complained, continuing to resist Hermione's tugs but quickly loosing again as she managed to pull him three stairs closer to the outside world.
"Dear God Harry, you're worse than a toddler, just move it already will you?" Hermione said, quite annoyed by now. She managed to pull him down five more steps.
"But I don't want to!"
"But I don't care," Hermione replied, and with one final tug she got him onto the ground floor.
"Is everything alright out here?" the landlady called, poking her head out.
"Yeah, it's fine, just trying to get Harry out," Hermione replied.
"Oh good," the landlady said, "it's nice to see he's still alive, I was beginning to get worried after that cute red-head left," the land lady gave Harry a pitying look, "poor dearie, you're still not over him are you?"
"Yes I am!' Harry insisted.
"He's in denial," Hermione explained, and dragged him out the door.
"It's cold!" Harry complained.
"If you move faster it'll get warmer," Hermione said, still dragging him along.
"Where are we going?"
"Right here," Hermione said, pulling him into an alleyway and behind some garbage cans where they were out of sight from the street and quickly aparating them both away.
Harry nearly vomited on arrival.
He hadn't felt that sensation for a while. It was definitely going to have to take some getting used to again. Once the feeling of his breakfast slowly creeping up his esophagus passed Harry finally managed to see where they had arrived.
"Oh no," Harry said, recognizing it instantly, "oh no, no, no, no, no, I can't be here. Nuh-uh, can't, I'll just be going now…" Harry tried to bolt for the opposite direction but Hermione caught him.
"Oh yes you can be here," Hermione said, "and you will."
"But… but… but…" Harry began, "but Ron's here…"
"Exactly," Hermione said.
"But I can't see Ron!" Harry said.
"You can and you will, see, if you really were over him you would be perfectly fine with this."
"But I am…"
"No you're not," Hermione interrupted, "you, Harry Potter, are still in love with Ronald Weasley," Hermione said plainly. Harry stared down at her shoes. Hermione gave a satisfied smirk.
"Can I please just go?" Harry said quietly, "please?" Harry looked up, a small tear slid down his cheek, Hermione's smirk slid off of her face.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" Hermione said, grabbing Harry and pulling him into a tight hug, "it's okay, I probably shouldn't have brought you here anyway, it was a stupid idea, it's fine, we can go do something else if you want. How about shopping? You like shopping right? Want to go shopping?" Hermione let go of him. "I just have to pick something up from Mrs. Weasley, you can just wait here and stare at the mountains for all I care, and I'll be right back and we can go do something fun? Okay?" No response. "Okay then, I'll be right back," Hermione said, "promise." She turned around and quickly scurried towards the house, determined to do well on her promise.
Harry said nothing. His eyes firmly fixed on the grass. He couldn't look up at the house, no, not the Burrow with all it's happy memories. Every single one of them involving Ron. And he couldn't think about Ron. Not like that. Not then. Because Hermione was right, he was still in love with Ron, and coming here, and remembering, it just reminded him of everything he'd given up because of one stupid fit of jealousy and he hated himself for it.
Another tear slipped down his cheek.
No, he couldn't cry, not here, not ever. He was done with crying. It was his own stupid mistake that had torn them apart, and he was going to have to live with the consequences, no use crying over some damn glass of spilt milk.
"Harry?" Harry's head shot up at the sound of the voice that he loved so much. And there he stood, Ron. Looking exactly the same as the day he'd left, perhaps a bit more rumbled, and a little less shaved. But still, Ron. It took Harry a moment before he remembered to breathe.
"Ron?" Harry croaked. Ron gave him a small smile.
"Yeah, long time to see, eh?" he said quietly.
"Yeah," Harry replied, "yeah I suppose it's been awhile."
"How are you?" Ron asked.
"Okay," Harry replied.
They stood in silent for a moment.
"Found anyone new yet?" Ron asked quietly, shuffling his feet. Harry shook his head.
"Really? I thought for sure you and… never mind," Ron said quickly.
"I know it doesn't mean much to you," Harry whispered, "but I really am sorry."
"I know," Ron said, "so am I." They stood there, neither one willing to look the other in the eye but both of them wishing they could. Wishing that nothing had happened. That everything would be okay.
"Harry? Ron?" Hermione called, coming out of the house, holding whatever it was Mrs. Weasley had given her.
"Hey Hermione," Ron said quietly.
"Hi Ron, how are you?" Hermione asked, trying to be cheerful, but clearly sensing the tension. Ron just nodded.
"I should probably go inside," Ron said, "see ya Harry." He turned and headed back for the burrow.
"Yeah, see ya," Harry called quietly after him.
"Harry, are you…?" Hermione cautiously began.
"Just take me home," Harry said. Hermione didn't argue.
As soon as Harry closed the door of his pigsty apartment he collapsed on the couch, just another piled of crap surrounded by piles of crap, only crying.
"I'm sorry Ron," Harry whispered quietly to the empty room, "I'm so, so sorry."
-0-0-0-0-0-
Harry woke up to the sound of the sink; he blinked groggily a few times, staring around at his surroundings. Somehow he must have made it to his bedroom. But then why was the sink running? Harry sat up. And why was his room clean? Hermione must have stopped by later, intent on keeping her threat of cleaning his house. Harry groaned, he so did not want to face anyone today. He clambered out of bed, shuffling towards the kitchen intending to tell Hermione to come back some other day only it wasn't Hermione.
Harry froze at the entrance to the kitchen. No, this had to be some kind of a dream. A hallucination perhaps. Right? Right. It was official, he'd gone insane. But then again… no, he had to have gone insane. Because there at his kitchen sink, carefully washing his dishes entirely by hand, was Ron.
"Ron?" Harry called weakly. Ron couldn't hear him over the sound of the water coming from the sink.
"Ron?" Harry called again, a little louder this time. Ron paused, he turned around very slowly. A dripping plate still in one hand, and a sponge in the other hand.
"Umm… hi?' Ron said.
"Why are you here?" Harry asked quietly.
"I missed you," Ron said. Neither one said anything.
"Look," Ron began, "I know I wasn't the best boyfriend, I know I never helped you around the house and I always made a mess, and I know I always used to flirt with girls every time we went out, and I know it bugged you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I know this is a bad time to say it, but, I loved you. I still do, I just wish I'd told you earlier. I was just so confused and I'd never loved anyone before but then you were there and you were just so perfect, and so amazing, I felt like I didn't deserve you, that you were too good for me, and I just didn't know what to do with my emotions, or how to tell you, so I tried to hide them, and I ended up hurting you. And I'm sorry. And I know that all the explanations in the world probably aren't going to change what happened, I just wanted you to know the truth, and whatever happens, and whatever happened, I just wanted you to know that I loved you. I didn't really realize that I still did until I saw you yesterday, and everything, it was still there, as if not a day had passed. And I just wanted you to understand, even if you still hate me, you deserve to know." Harry was silent for the longest moment.
"No I'm the one that should be sorry," he said, "I was the idiot who ran off and slept with some random dude just because I got a little jealous. You were the good one, the perfect one, yeah, you flirted with girls, but that was the end of it. Not me, I was the god damned jealous little slut who had to run off and act on it and then ruin fucking everything," Harry was practically yelling by now, anger and sadness welling up inside him, the tears and the harsh words flowed freely from him, as he spat out every little thing that had been boiling inside of him, "I was the wrong one, the one who should be apologizing, I'm the one who cheated on you. If anyone should hate anyone it should be you hating me, after everything I've done to you and you come and apologize? No! Not to me, not ever, I don't deserve your apology, or any apology, I don't deserve anything after everything I've already done, everything I've fucked up and all the people I've hurt and," Harry didn't get to finish his sentence because Ron pulled him into a tight hug, warping his firm arms around Harry's small frame, clutching him tightly as Harry cried freely against him, letting the tears flow from him to Ron. And Ron just continued to hold him, gently stroking his hair and rubbing his back, letting Harry slowly calm down Ron just stood there and held him.
Harry sniffled. He didn't know how long he and Ron had been standing there, only that he wished the moment would never end.
"Harry?" Ron finally said.
"Yeah?" Harry asked quietly, dreading what Ron would say next.
"We both messed up, and we messed up because we were both too afraid to tell the other what we were feeling, lets never do that again, okay?" Harry nodded.
"Do you think we can put this behind us, try to move forward?" Ron asked. Harry was silent for the longest time. After everything they'd gone through, could they move forward? Well, he supposed it couldn't hurt to try.
"Harry?" Ron asked, when Harry still wasn't replying, and so Harry gave his response, not in a word or in a nod but in a soft kiss planted on Ron's lips, hopefully the first of many to come. Smiling Ron pulled Harry even tighter against him, vowing to himself that this time he wasn't ever going to let go.
