Author's Note: This is my first actually published fan-fic. I've been reading parodies of Mary-Sue fics and I decided to do one myself :)

Don't hesitate to criticize, I'm here to get better at writing. Also, don't hate me if I change from American to British english, the Brits at my school are contagious…

Warning: May contain severe sarcasm in later chapters

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or any characters you recognize. I also don't own Vogue or God (I wish)

Mary-Sue Gone Wrong

Mary-Sue walked out of the cinema, a dreamy look in her beautiful blue eyes. Her long black curls fluttered prettily in the wind. She wouldn't be able to forget the handsome Legolas from the movie she'd just seen. And she'd thought The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers would be lame. Instead it turned out to be perfect. Not paying attention to her surroundings, she walked onto the road. The last thing she heard before passing out was the squealing of fangirls- errrr… brakes…

She woke up in a forest, under a huge moss-covered tree, water dripping onto her face. Sitting up, she saw something that made her jaw drop. There, sitting on a gorgeous white stallion was Legolas!! Next to him were two men who looked vaguely familiar from the movie, but they didn't matter: Legolas was there!! Barely able to contain her glee she looked deep into his eyes, about to ask for his autograph. He fell in love with her instantly. He was about to propose to her when, to everyone's UTTER dismay, an ent *accidentally* squashed her. The end.

Or so we hoped…

Alecia Fi-Fi Pretty Angel Stardust Cloud Johnson was the usual teenage girl. Well, that's what she said. Actually, she only said it so people wouldn't get jealous of her wealth and beauty. She was rather arrogant about her social status and claimed to have done several modeling gigs for Vogue. To tell you the truth, Alecia Fi-Fi Pretty Angel Stardust Cloud Johnson, or Allie for short (and the readers' sake), was not a normal teenager because she was a spoiled brat.

One day she and her friend Sarah went to the movies to see The Lord of the Rings: The TwoTowers. The end couldn't have come soon enough. She hated the movie the whole way through. All the men were dirty and probably smelly and none of them looked like they'd even heard of shaving. Except What's-His-Name the elf. But he had pointy ears. Why would anyone waste their money to get plastic surgery to look like that? All in all, she considered the afternoon a waste of her precious, precious money. She pulled her brand new cell phone from her pocket and called her chauffeur so that he'd pick her up from the cinema as soon as possible. It looked like it was going to rain and she couldn't live with the thought of her beautiful blond curls getting messy.

"Can you give me a ride home?" asked Sarah. Allie looked at her, shock in her violet eyes.

"Of course…not! He's my private chauffeur for a reason: I don't like sharing." Which was a rather rude thing to say to someone who you considered a friend.

Sarah walked off dejectedly. Allie watched her for a while, smirking. Sadly for both of them, it started raining. And no driver came. Allie stood there for a while before deciding to walk home. After all, she didn't get her perfect body by sitting on her ass all day.

As she started the walk home, lightning flashed across the sky. And it continued flashing for much longer than it normally should be able to. A bolt hit Allie right on the head.

A voice from the sky muttered "Damn! It didn't kill her…"

AN: I hope you liked!! Further chapters will be up soon