Death of a Killjoy

All I can see are mirages

All I am is a bullet

And I only smile because they are holding a gun to my head

I know I can run

But if I do,

They will paint the desert red

In a warning shot to the friends I haven't lost yet

If there was an escape—a real one

I would find it lost in the confused mind of a lonely child

Or hidden amongst the wreckage that I grew up in

But since both those things no longer exist

I fear that they will give me two shots to the back of the head

I can hear them laughing

They can see me sweating

But I will not plead for my life

They cannot force me to be afraid

They changed me once

Before I realized who I was

And what I could stand for

I earned the blood on my hands

From owning up to a disaster that only a few others could face

I painted this blood on my hands

To keep from losing all the colour in the world

I will always fight for freedom

The freedom to love, to hate

To feel something

To stay alive

I am a Killjoy

And no bullet in my head

Or dirt above my head

Can wash away my bright orange T-shirt

Or the memory of my purple hair

No villain can erase my truth

And no force can destroy these emotions

They think my end is near

But they ended me long ago

When they found me clinging to the last hope in the world

And they tortured me out of my colours

Just to dim that hope

As a Draculoid

I painted the desert red in a warning shot to friends

Seeing only mirages

That convinced me that fighting for someone else's ideals

Was the best way to uphold my own life

They turned me into a bullet

Just a being who kills for the sake of killing

And for that, I will never be forgiven

The one-time friends who are about to end me

Realized before I did

That I am still a threat to order

Still an enemy to tranquility

Because no matter what anyone does

I can never be silenced

I am a Killjoy

I never back down

I fight to the end

And even when I know I won't make it out alive

I embrace the bullet with a courageous smile

Knowing that I will always have friends

To paint the desert red in a warning shot to my enemies