This is a story built around the Season 8 episode "The Way It Is," written by the wonderful Kathleen Hite. It explores how Matt and Kitty might have dealt with the emotional aftermath of that incident.

Author's Note: I'd like to say a word of thanks to all those who have left feedback and sent me such nice messages, many from guests I am unable to answer. Your kindness has made this new little hobby of mine even more enjoyable and rewarding.

Pieces of Us

Chapter 1

Kitty Russell sat alone at the table with a shot of bourbon. It was rare that she drank her breakfast, but it had happened twice this week.

Kitty had a temper as fiery as her hair, and it occasionally got her into trouble. But in the six years she and Matt had been romantically involved, she had never feared that an argument had gone so far that they might break up. Until now.

Their dinner the night before had been awkward, to say the least. She expected it would be—when your lover is forced to shoot the new man in your life because he's a crazed lunatic who tried to kill you both, there's bound to be some uncomfortable conversation later.

She had tossed and turned most of the night, half wondering if this had all really happened—it still felt like some sort of dream.

If Kitty knew anything, it was men. Years of experience had taught her how to quickly separate the wheat from the chaff. She was a good judge of character and seldom second-guessed herself, which had made the Ad Bellum incident even more unsettling.

She couldn't understand how she had let things go that far with a man who was so clearly troubled. But mostly, she couldn't understand how she had let things go anywhere at all with a man who was not Matt Dillon.

What in the hell was I thinking?

She wasn't thinking that day, she had realized. Only feeling. She had been so vulnerable when she met Ad. Leaving town feeling rejected and unimportant, she immediately stumbled onto this man who couldn't get enough of her. A man who told her exactly what she needed to hear at that moment. It almost seemed like fate.

But right now, fate looked more like Matt Dillon walking into the Long Branch before Ad Bellum unloaded his shotgun into the woman he claimed to love.

After disposing of her homicidal suitor, Matt had told her he would be back later and take her to dinner. Yes, she thought to herself sarcastically, that was destined to be a fun date.

They had hardly talked during their meal. What could she say? She had flown off the handle over something that wasn't really his fault, taken up with another man while he was out of town, and almost gotten them both killed. "I'm sorry" was a gross understatement.

Matt hadn't known what to say either. While he was a naturally quiet person, he seldom had problems talking to Kitty. But neither was anxious to talk about what had just happened between them, so the conversation took on the appearance of polite chit-chat between strangers. Kitty had mentioned the price of whiskey going up, while Matt complained about the weather in Topeka.

Ah, Topeka—the catalyst for this whole nightmare. She didn't even remember exactly why he'd had to go there. It didn't matter. Duty had called, and she was once again playing second fiddle to a piece of metal. She was certainly used to it by now, and Matt had never tried to pretend it would be otherwise. But something about this time had made her snap—she couldn't explain her behavior any other way.

Kitty thought back to the argument and everything Matt had said. He was so calm, so rational. He always was.

She didn't doubt the sincerity of a single thing he had told her that day. How he wanted nothing more than to take her to that sociable and wished they could do all the things they planned together. She knew he meant it.

But she had longed, just once, to come first. To have him say, "You know what? They're going to have to do without me in Topeka because nothing is going to stop me from taking you to that sociable."

Yet, sitting at this table with only her thoughts and her bourbon, analyzing the situation with more clarity than she'd had in days, Kitty realized something. Had he shirked his professional duty for personal pleasure, no matter how special it might have made her feel at the time, he would have ceased being the Matt Dillon she had been in love with since the first day she had stepped foot in Dodge City.

She couldn't help but wonder if she had now ceased being the Kitty Russell he had loved for just as long.

She had betrayed him. She hadn't slept with Ad, and she and Matt weren't engaged much less married. But the way this had happened—the hissy fit, not saying goodbye when he left for Topeka, parading this man in front of their friends in a display that must have seemed spiteful—there was no word to describe it other than betrayal.

She closed her eyes and tried to put herself in his place. How would she feel if the situation were reversed? It would be like a knife in her heart—it might even be unforgivable.

Last night after dinner he had walked her home, saying goodnight outside with no display of affection. The last time that had happened was…never. At least not since they had become more than friends. They had even made love on their first date, and though he didn't go up to her room every night, they never parted in private without at least a kiss.

Typically when Matt got back from a trip, they would skip dinner altogether and head straight to the bedroom for dessert. Of course, there was nothing typical about last night.

Kitty finished the glass of bourbon she had been twirling in her hands the past few minutes. It was going to be a long day.

TBC