I'm yours

You touch these tired eyes of mine. You map my face out line by line. Somehow growing old feels fine. I listen close for I'm not smart. You wrap your thoughts in works of art. They are hanging on the walls of my heart.

Carlisle's point of view

I sat in my office going through current hospital files. The rest of the family had gone hunting. I missed Esme more then words could say. However I had hunted yesterday so there really wasn't a need to go. Esme needed time alone with our children. She didn't get a lot of that.

At five in the morning I got a feeling of dread in my stomach. They hadn't gone far to hunt. Alice said the latest they'd be gone was 7:00 pm. I closed my eyes and prayed then I heard the front door open. I heard a heart beat and shook it off as Nessie.

Then Edward banged on my office door. When I opened it I heard a soft groan coming from his arms. I nearly hit the floor when I realized he was carrying my wife in his arms. My Esme…

I instructed Edward in a voice as calm as I could, "Put her on the couch, get me a hot water bottle, and then explain to me why my wife is human!"

Edward gently set Esme down and said, "Carlisle I don't know what happened. We were hunting and I smelled mountain lion and went away from the others. I came back and she was slumped against a tree with her head in her hands saying she didn't feel well. I carried her back and well here we are."

I sighed when I saw Edward's eyes fill up with tears he couldn't shed. I knew he was just as frightened as I was for Esme. I gently pulled my son into my arms, "Son she's going to be alright. We have to have faith. I want to run some tests; but I don't want her to be afraid. Do you mind sitting with her?"

My son nodded and he took his mother's hand. I didn't know what to do. My mind floated back to 1918 when Edward was changed. I knew Edward could read my mind but I didn't block these memories from him.

Edward looked sad as he gripped Esme's hand in his cold one. He spoke to me softly, "Carlisle she is far too cold. I can't hear her thoughts anymore."

I shoved Edward out of my way and rushed over to my wife. I pulled her into my arms and whispered, "You can't die. Esme you can't. You are everything to me."

I gasped when I heard a strong heart beat. My wife sat up and rushed to the bathroom. Edward grabbed my arms and kept me from rushing in after her, "Carlisle she doesn't want you to see her like that. She thinks that it's revolting."

I asked in my mind, "What is she doing son?"

Edward frowned, "She's throwing up. Why were you thinking about my mother earlier? You don't think she could…"

I shook my head, "Edward I was thinking about your mom because watching you take care of Esme… it just reminded me of the way she cared for you. You are so much like her son. She would be very proud of you. Don't doubt that for a second."

When Esme came out of the bathroom she stumbled slightly and I caught her arm. Like Edward had said she was very cool to the touch. I helped her sit back down on the couch and said, "Esme I'm going to perform some tests on you ok. What's going on isn't normal. The fact that you became human again could mean something dangerous. Edward is going to sit with you the whole time. Just relax."

I ran the tests and all of her results and labs came back find. Then Alice came running into the room, "Carlisle! Esme is pregnant! I don't know how but she is pregnant!"

I smiled at the thought Esme was going to have a baby. My smile faltered when Edward growled at Alice. I took an unneeded breath, "Edward please what is Alice thinking?"

My daughter stared at me and answered, "I know she is pregnant because Jasper can feel the child's emotions and hear its heart beat but I can't see any of this family's futures. It's just like when Bella was pregnant"

Esme put a hand over her stomach and smiled at me, "We will keep it right?"

I sighed, "Esme I have to find a way to turn you back… I…"

I froze Edward jumped in front of Esme growling at me. I felt the thirst burning in my throat. I didn't understand why did I want to attack Esme? I have never even as a newborn tasted human blood. Edward answered my thoughts with one word, "She's your singer. It's best if you hunt now. I'll stay with her while you go."

I didn't say anything I heard my wife gasping in pain and wanted to run to her side; however I knew Edward was right and left to hunt after finding enough control to kiss her cheek. I whispered softly to her, "It'll be alright love."

After hunting Jasper was sitting on the couch with Alice; he stood up when he saw me. He asked in a calm voice, "Did you want to talk about what happened in your office?"

I shook my head. There was nothing to talk about. I had nearly almost killed my wife and my unborn child. There was no reason to have felt the thirst I did. I had hunted only yesterday.

Alice spoke up, "We moved Esme to your room. Rose thought she might sleep better there away from the hospital setting. Are you sure that you are ok?"

I nodded but the look on Jasper's face told me he didn't believe me. I sighed and sat on the couch. Alice sat down next to me and set her hand on my arm, "Please talk to Jasper. He knows what it feels like."

My shoulders slumped and I started sobbing into my hands. Jasper knelt down in front of me and set his hand on my arm, "Carlisle look at me. Esme isn't afraid of you. She's been asking for you."

I sniffed and picked my head up, "Jasper how in the name of God can I be close to her? I almost killed her. I feel like such a monster!"

Jasper forced me to look into his eyes, "You are the furthest thing from a monster. I can feel the love coming off of Esme please go see her. She needs you."

I stood up and went into my room. My wife was propped up on pillows tears were running down her cheeks. I wanted to do nothing more then wipe them away but I was afraid of what might happen if I got too close.

Esme called out just as I was about to leave, "Come here you."

I turned around and smiled at her, "How do you feel love?"

Esme gasped as she bent over a bowl and threw up, I rubbed circles on her back like Edward had done for Bella. Once she was done she answered, "I don't think the baby liked the pasta Bella made for me; clams weren't the best thing for me to eat. I have done nothing but throw up since you left. You aren't breathing; I'm sorry."

I heard the sob in my wife's voice and let out the breath I'd been holding, "Esme, love you shouldn't be sorry. It's not my fault that your blood sings to me. Now it's late you should sleep. I'll get you something to settle your stomach."

I left the room to the medicine from my bag when I came back Esme patted the space beside her on the bed, "Can you stay with me?"

I nodded and climbed up beside her. She took the pills I gave her and snuggled into my side. I resisted the desire to burry my nose is her hair. I didn't hold my breath this time. Her snuggled into my side this way reminded me that human or vampire this was my wife, my best friend, my partner and nothing would ever change that.

I whispered in her ear before she fell asleep, "Esme you are my angel. Nothing will ever change that."

Esme asked in a very soft voice, "Kiss me"

I shook my head, "I can't. I don't know if I can do that without killing you. I've got to change you back."

I my wife's eyes filled with tears, "We don't know… what that will do to my baby. It could kill it…. Carlisle do you know how long I've waited for a child; I need this."

I kissed her hair, "Esme you really want this don't you?"

I could tell she was really out of it as she rested her chin on my shoulder, "Yes. You know what else I want?"

I nodded and felt the control to kiss her. I lightly kissed her lips and tried to relax. Softly I murmured "sleep love."

As I watched my wife sleep next to me for the first time since we'd been married I sighed. What was I thinking? She couldn't stay human; baby or no baby I had to find out how this happened. I had to change my wife back.