Serendipity
The first time she finds him there she tries to kick him out. Because is her office and her couch and it's absolutely not ok for Alex Karev to sleep there whenever he wants (who knows what kind of infection he's carrying around and she so doesn't want to have to burn her beautiful, comfy and expensive couch because of him).
Needless to say her attempt is completely useless. He doesn't even flinch about her tone (the fiercest one she has) and with a muttered "Piss off, Kepner", he turns around and keeps sleeping. Glaring at his back, April sighs and sits down on her desk. She has a lot to do and she can't be delayed trying to reason with Karev of all people.
At least he doesn't snore (much).
/·/
The second time she finds him there she is surprised. It's been a couple weeks since the first time, enough to make her think that it was a onetime thing, besides it's not like he can't sleep somewhere else (she's seen him sleep on the floor) so why does he need her couch for?
April doesn't even bother trying to wake him up this time (she was always a fast learner) and just carries on with her work. And maybe she is not trying to be quiet (in fact, she is trying to be as not quiet as possible) but it is her office after all.
"Hey" she says once he's woken up "Did you have a good nap?" she asks sarcastically (or trying to, she isn't that good with sarcasm, and maybe now Karev thinks that she actually cares about his sleep and oh my God she needs to stop).
"Until now" he replies sitting up while he groans as loudly as possible (just because he knows that it annoys her, she's sure) "It's impossible to sleep with you here being all noisy"
"Well it's my office. Because I'm chief resident, remember?" she repeats for what it seems the hundredth time (and maybe this time someone will actually listen to her).
"Whatever"
"Hey, that's my food!" April exclaims outrageously when he opens the fridge and grabs one of her snacks.
"Yeah Kepner, I get it. Your office. Your couch. Your food" he says mimicking her voice. April stands up and it's about to yell at him (because she really really hates when he imitates her voice in that horrible nasal tone and he knows it) but his pager goes off and he's out of the office before she can blink.
So, at the end he gets her food and the last word. Go figure.
/·/
The third time she finds him there she's not even a little surprised (fast learner and all) she only sighs (loudly) drops her things on the desk (more loudly) and sits down (even more loudly). He stirs and grunts but she doesn't look at him, she has been on a never ending shift and she's so tired that even moving her head to the right seems like a huge accomplishment.
By the sixth time she doesn't bother pointing out that is her office and he doesn't bother telling her to shut up. The truth is that they are kind of getting used to each other and even their banter is something April is sort of fond of (not that she will ever admit that out loud, especially to him). She doesn't look forward to find him asleep on her couch (really, she doesn't) but she bought a few pillows to make it even comfier and she always makes sure that there's enough food for both of them (because if she doesn't he will eat all of hers, anyway).
So she kind of loses count after that, of how many times she's found him there (because, honestly, there are too many times to keep count of in the first place).
/·/
"Are you serious right now?"
"Of course I am"
"Dude, I can't believe this" Alex shakes his head disapprovingly "You really think that Lucky Charms are better than Trix?"
"Lucky Charms can rock the socks off your Trix!" exclaims April through a mouthful of the cereal in question.
"I think you hit your head as a child. That's the only way you'll think that"
"Well I'm still not buying your sucky cereal. So there"
"Well your cereal picking skills suck. So there" he mimics her. April glares at him but they both know it's no real (because at some point he started mocking her in a good way, a way she doesn't mind that much).
Alex gets up and heads to her fridge, grabbing a coke.
"Hey, that's the last one!" she complains "I was saving it for later."
He looks at her thoughtfully for a second and then hands her the can.
"There you go."
"Thanks" she says staring at him. And she's aware of how ridiculous it is, to be thanking him for giving her her own drink (except is not, because he sure as hell wouldn't have done this a month ago).
"Yeah, you know. Whatever" he looks anywhere but her, awkwardly "I gotta go" he mutters looking at his pager (although April could swear that the thing hasn't made any sound).
She guesses that's Alex day of the year of being nice to her or something. Whatever.
/·/
April hurries through the hallways of the hospital towards her office. She's so mad that she doesn't even wave back at her interns when she passes them by. She just wants to be alone to feel sorry for herself (and maybe cry a little bit).
Of course when she opens the door Alex is fast asleep in her couch. And it's the first time in a long time that she doesn't want him there.
She doesn't do it on purpose (maybe a little) but the door makes a loud noise when it closes and Alex wakes up, startled.
"What?" he grunts, and she can tell that he's about to lash out at her but somehow he must sense her mood because he closes his mouth, frowning "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" April answers curtly "Everything is perfectly fine. Can you go now? I need to work"
"Yeah, right" and she's not surprised about him not believing her, because she could work in the middle of an earthquake.
April ignores the look he's giving her and tidies up her (already tidy) desk. She curses inwardly when she realizes that her hands are shaking.
"What's wrong, Kepner?" Alex asks again, but April doesn't want to answer him anymore that the first time "Hey" he says, grabbing her by the arm and turning her around "c'mon, April, tell me" he looks her right in the eye and she knows that she's gonna cave, not because of how he's looking at her (although that helps too) but because he's called her April (it's the first time she hears him say her name and it does something in her stomach that she's not sure she likes).
"I'm supposed to be in the OR with Altman right now" she explains staring at her feet "it was a really important case and it was mine, but Cristina appeared at the last minute and claimed it. Altman had to choose between the two of us…"
"And she picked Yang" Alex doesn't need her to finish.
"But she gave me the giant honor of watching from the gallery" she replies bitterly. She looks at him for the first time since she came into the office and her eyes are mirroring everything that she's feeling at that moment: anger, indignation, shame… "It's stupid" she says sitting down.
"No, it's not" Alex sits next to her "It was your patient and Altman should've been more professional, you're right to be pissed"
"Yeah, but it's not a surprise, I mean between me and Cristina? I wouldn't have picked me either"
"Don't say that. You're as good as doctor as Yang" April looks at him surprised, is Alex Karev actually trying (and succeeding) to make her feel better? He must have noticed what he's doing too because he looks away and clears her throat awkwardly.
"Thank you" April says, without looking at him.
"Whatever" and that's when she realizes that she knows him really well because she was totally predicting that answer.
They both sit in an uncomfortable silent for a while (April couldn't say if it lasts minutes or hours) till she can't take it anymore.
"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dumped all of this on you like this, it's not your problem, well honestly it's not even a problem I just…" April starts rambling, and she knows that once she starts she isn't able to stop but that has to be better than this awful silence, right?
Only Alex makes her stop.
He kisses her.
And it's perfect (sort of).
But then he breaks the kiss abruptly, and stares at her like he can't believe what he's just done (April can't either). He opens his mouth to say something a couple times but nothing comes out, so finally, he just leaves without saying a word, leaving April alone, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
/·/
When April enters her office the next day, the last person she expects to find there is him. She was pretty sure that after the incident (that's what she calls it in her head) their little routine was over. Granted, he's not sleeping, he's sprawled on the couch eating cookies and reading one of her magazines.
"You know" he says when he sees her standing in the doorway "you really need to buy better food. These organic cookies are crap"
She looks at him and she can see that he's faking and he's not nearly as calm as he sounds. But he's giving her an out and if she wants any chance that they can still be (kind of) friends she better take it.
"Well, why are you eating them in the first place?"
Alex's face doesn't reveal anything but she can sense how much her reply relaxes him and alleviates the tension in the room. April sits next to him (being careful not to touch him) and grabs a cookie.
So they are going to pretend it never happened. Good. April can do that, she's an expert with denial and avoidance.
She can totally do it, can't she?
/·/
She can't.
They go on like the kiss never existed but neither one of them is as relaxed as before. They still talk and joke and eat (but she tries really hard not to touch him and he looks ready to run away at any second).
And the worst part is in April's head. She's always been proud about her perfect memory and her wild imagination but now it feels like a curse. Because she can remember every little detail about the kiss (like how his lips were soft but he scratched her a little with his stubble, or how he grabbed her by the waist with his large hands) and she can imagine what could've happened if he hadn't stopped (she doesn't have any experience but that doesn't mean that she is completely innocent and clueless).
She tries really hard to ignore those feelings, the last thing she needs right now is for Alex to pity her because of her school girl crush (or to yell at her, again), and she thinks she's succeeding, until the day Jackson decides to open his big mouth.
"So" he says to Alex, stretching lazily on the couch (they all have taken April's office as their official place to relax, she will complain but she really doesn't mind that much) "I heard about you and that nurse. Congratulations man, she's really hot"
April forgets about what she's doing and looks at them "What?" she asks but neither one of them hears her (thank God) because at the same time Alex replies:
"What are you talking about? What nurse?"
"You know, the one from oncology, she says you two hooked up a couple days ago" Jackson attempts to give him a high five but Alex doesn't return it. He's frowning as if he doesn't know what Avery is talking about and that gives April hope. Maybe it's just a stupid rumor.
But then Alex looks at her and it must be all written in her face, what she's feeling, because he looks away and answers "Oh, yeah, that one. Yeah, dude, she's good, really knows what she's doing"
And April doesn't know if that's supposed to offend her (it does) but she tries (and fails) to act nonchalantly and unaffected while the boys keep talking about nurses and on call rooms not used to sleep. Finally, when she feels like she can't keep it together anymore she leaves the room quickly, muttering something about a patient.
Half an hour later, she walks out of the ladies bathroom wiping her face and feeling stupid for letting herself hope and not knowing better.
/·/
It's been a couple of weeks and April has completely forgotten about the kiss and the awkwardness between them is gone. Well, she still remembers it at night (and sometimes when she watches Alex take a nap on the couch, looking all peaceful and young, she sighs wistfully) but she's slowly coming to terms with the fact that Alex Karev is never gonna be hers.
Of course, she would forget him faster if he didn't spend every moment holed up in her office, but well.
She enters the room with a bunch of files in her right hand and a coffee on the other. Alex is already there (she'd be surprised if he wasn´t) sitting by her computer.
"What are you doing?" she asks trying not to drop anything on the floor. She's not surprised either that he hasn't made a move to help her, manners and common courtesy are simply not on Alex's nature (she supposes it has something to do with the way he was raised, not that she knows a lot about that subject because he hasn't told her anything, but then again, she doesn't think he has told anyone).
"Just some research"
April looks over his shoulder expecting to see something medical related but being utterly wrong.
"You're looking for a new place to live?" and she doesn't know why (she does), but the idea of Alex moving out feels like a kick in the stomach "I thought you said that you couldn't afford anything other than Meredith's" she says, hoping that her voice doesn't transmit her feelings.
"Yeah, well" but Alex is not really looking at her, barely paying attention, so she doesn't need to worry about that "I'll have to. There are more and more people there every day, I'm freaking suffocating."
"Oh" she answers, because she doesn't know what to say. It's not like Alex is asking for her opinion, he might've not even told her if she hadn't caught him looking for apartments.
"You heard about the tumor lady?" he asks after a couple of minutes, apparently having concluded his research (April wants to ask him if he has found something but she refrains herself).
"What tumor lady?"
Alex shakes his head at her lack of basic rumor knowledge and then spends the next fifteen minutes telling her all about the huge tumor an old lady has on her side. After that they both fell in a somehow comfortable silence (they have a few of those), each deep in their own thoughts.
Except she can sense that Alex is watching her and she doesn't know why, does she have something on her face? She wipes her mouth surreptitiously but he sees her and laughs softly. April looks at him at him sharply and then she just can't look away, because he's looking at her with an intensity that she hasn't seen before (in anyone, ever).
And this time is not like the first (fast and over before she can even react), this time they sort of lean into each other slowly and he takes his time caressing her lips before opening her mouth and stroking her tongue with his. She moans softly into his mouth and he seems to like the sound because he trails kisses down her throat and bites gently behind her ear, coaxing another moan.
April doesn't think that she's ever felt something this good and she's dreading the moment he'll pull away. Except this time he doesn't, he just pulls her closer, till she's practically on his lap and kisses her again.
"Hey, you know where…?" they both separate quickly to find a dumbfounded Cristina in the doorway. When she sees their guilty faces she smiles mischievously, as if the thought of them together was funny (it is) "Really, Evil Spawn? Even with Virgin Mary? I swear I don't know what they see in you…" and with that she leaves closing the door behind her.
And this time, April is the one who runs away before he can say something because she's sure that, whatever it is, she doesn't want to hear it.
/·/
She has a speech. A formidable and over-rehearsed speech that starts with "You can't just kiss me whenever you want and then ignore it" and ends with "we need to stick to being just friends".
Yeah, April has a speech, and she's well prepared to give it to him (she has say it so many times in her head that she's sure it will come naturally) but she can't. Because Alex is not there.
He doesn't come to her office that day, or the next one, or the next. In fact he does everything humanly possible (and impossible) to ignore her all week (like one time, they are the last ones in the locker room and he changes so quickly that he forgets one of his shoes).
And sometimes she thinks that's the best that could happen, they ignoring each other, because clearly they can't just be friends but they can't be anything else either. Then there's the times when she misses him so much that it almost hurts and she has to remind herself not to talk to him.
It's that bipolarity that has April in a permanent bad mood.
"Hey, Kepner" one of the 4th year residents calls her, she can't remember his name and that pisses her off because she can always remember the name of her residents "I'm on a case with Adams today but it's kind of awkward between us because of our break up, do you think you can switch me up with someone?"
"Of course" she answers, sarcasm dripping her words "because between all of my problems, the most important one by far is your romantic life. Grow up and go do your work!" she's screaming now "And if you don't like it you can just go home!"
The resident looks at her in surprise and then rushes through the hallway, before April can say anything else to him. She feels kind of bad when she sees him run and it's contemplating going after him and apologizing when she hears someone snicker behind her.
"I think you've made him cry" Alex smiles at her like he's proud or something and that pisses April off. Again.
"Oh, so now you're talking to me?"
"I didn't know I wasn't talking to you" he replies, but April can tell that he's lying.
"Well, now I don't want to listen to you. I'm sick and tired of you and your games "she rambles on, her perfect speech long forgotten "You can find another girl stupid enough to fall for you and then crush her hopes. I'm done with you, with all of this! Don't bother coming back to my office"
/·/
He does come back to the office. Half an hour later, when April is still recovering from her sudden outburst.
"Truce?"
"Are you deaf?" she stands in front of him so he can't get in the room. It's completely irrational but she thinks that if he gets into the office she will end up forgiving him somehow. "Leave me alone!"
"C'mon, Kepner! You don't have to make such a big freaking deal about everything"
"What should I do? Be just like you and take everything as a joke?"
"I don't do that" Alex clenches his jaw and now he's starting to get mad but April doesn't care. She's been keeping all her feelings bottled up for months and now that she's started she can't stop.
"Of course you do! At least with me. You kiss me and then you make as if nothing happened, flaunting your conquests in front of me, then you kiss me again and ignore me completely. I know that you think I'm some kind of freak, I get it, but you didn't have to play with me like that. I have feelings, you know? And you do nothing but hurt me time and again. But is my own fault for falling for it…"
"I know, alright? I know! I'm a jerk and you deserve better, I know that. But I want to kiss you anyway, that's why I'm avoiding you."
April just stares at him, completely stunned, until she notices a few nurses that have obviously heard the whole thing giggle and whisper at them.
Alex frowns at the nurses, grabs her by the hand and guides her to the office, closing the door behind him much to April (and the nurses)'s chagrin.
"So, what does this mean?" she asks because she doesn't want to assume things or make it easy for him, to be honest. Alex mutters something, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at his feet. "What?"
"I said I like you, ok?" he repeats gloomly, like that's the worst possible thing that could happen to him.
"Is that your idea of a joke? Because it's not funny."
"I'm serious. I don't even care if you're a stuck-up and frigid know-it-all…"
"Is this supposed to make me feel better? 'Cause is doing the opposite"
"Will you for once shut the hell up and listen?"
April closes her mouth and nods.
"I don't give a crap about any of that. I just… I can't stop thinking about you and your freaking eyes and… and your lips, I can't even flirt with chicks anymore… and I'll have to move 'cause I can't keep sharing a house with you. But I know that I am gonna screw up somehow, that's what I always do…"
And this time is April who cuts him off by kissing him, not that he minds that much, judging by how eagerly he returns the kiss and holds her tight. She knows that she shouldn't have forgiven him that easily and that they still need to talk about a lot. But for now this is enough. For now actions speak louder than words.
He likes her and she likes him.
They can solve the rest tomorrow.
(She stops thinking when he drags her to their couch)
So, that's it. As always I'm sorry for any mistake but english is not my first language.
I'd love to read your opinions, this is my first time in this fandom and I'm afraid I made them too OoC (especially Alex).
XoXo
