ABOUT THIS STORY: The second in a series type thing that I am writing called 'The Legend Of Kat Manx'. You do not have to read the first one to understand this one. Rated for language, sexuality, death and implied sexual violence.
Reviews will be much appreciated but no flames please!
DISCLAIMER: I am not in any way associated with any of the characters or parts of PR SPD.
Who do you go to when you have a nightmare? The rangers, scientists and cadets go to each other, or sometimes to nobody at all. They are strong like that.
I used to go to Doggie after I had nightmares about Felle and he'd comfort me – sometimes I'd fall asleep in his arms. Likewise, I was always careful to return the favour, and help him when he had dreams about Sirius.
I had nightmares for a long time after we defeated Gruummn. One particular night, eight months or so after the battle I awoke from my sleep with a scream. It took me a long while to stifle the sobs, and forget the horrors of that dream. All the blood… the tears rolled down my face continuously.
"Doggie…" I whispered, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but loud enough to give me the feeling he might come to me and help me through the night.
I wanted the comfort of my friend so much, but I couldn't go to him now. He was with Isinia. Isinia! The thought of her made me want to spit and snarl with frustration. Some may call it jealousy, and I suppose, to an extent, that was true: I was jealous of my commander's wife. I loved Cruger so much more than anything or anyone else in the universe – I always had done – so now it seemed so unfair that she had somehow returned from the dead.
Perhaps I wouldn't have minded if she had actually turned out to be the kind, sensitive, perhaps somewhat broken lady that I had expected after hearing Doggie describe her. But she wasn't. She was a possessive little bitch (no pun intended) who thought she was in charge of me. She treated me like a child who knew nothing and tended to ask Doggie if he was 'sure I was doing the right thing' because it 'didn't look right to her'.
I shook the thought of Isinia away. It was bad to be getting stressed now, not good for the babies.
Yeah, the babies.
I rested one hand on my stomach and sighed. Seven and a half human months pregnant, and I still hadn't had the guts to tell anyone, though I was sure Felix knew. I was at an advantage on the secrecy front because, although to me my bump felt hard and swollen, other life forms – including humans – would not notice it yet. When our species become pregnant, it is obvious only to our species, until we hit the final, ninth month. Then we grow. A lot.
If the children's father was anyone else I wouldn't have felt ashamed. I'd be looking forward to being a mother again, and raising my children to SPD, knowing I had someone who loved me, protecting their tiny lives…
But the cold hard fact was that I had broken the highest regulations. We both had. I remembered it clearly. It'd been a particularly stressful day at SPD and we were all glad it was over. As it happened, myself, Cruger and the B-Squad were all off-duty that evening, and we went out into down and got very drunk.
Well, they did.
I tried to stay out of it. But as I said, I love Doggie so much, and Isinia wasn't with us. She was out of the state picking up some job or something elsewhere, so when he asked me if… I was only too happy to oblige.
I was the only one who woke up on time the next morning. My brother, Dr Felix had to treat Cruger, Sky, Bridge, Z and Syd for the blood poisoning, which resulted in short term amnesia. None of them could remember the night before.
Boy am I glad.
I never even considered that I could be expecting Crugers children, not at first. Then all the obvious signs fell into place. Morning sickness, feeling lethargic, fainting… I could go on forever.
It was Doggie who forced me to go to the doctors in the end. He admitted he thought I could have a bug or something, and for the safety of the base it was best to get it checked out. But by this time I was beginning to suspect the real reason. I was not surprised when the nurse told me.
Suddenly the door opened, snapping me out of my thoughts. I scrabbled to cover myself with my duvet – I had a need to sleep naked now that I didn't fit particularly well into my night clothes.
"Dr Manx, you were screaming." Isinia. Talk of the bugger. I resisted temptation to growl at the way she spoke my name. She perched on the edge of my bed and I shuffled back as far as I could. "Were you having a nightmare?"
Go away; stop treating me like a child!
"Yes," I responded carefully. "Aren't we all?"
"Indeed." Isinia seemed to sense my uneasiness. "I have some Sleeping Tablets if you would like?"
I shook my head. "I… can't take them."
"Oh? How comes?"
'Well gees Isinia, maybe because I'm pregnant with your husbands' children?' Hmm, maybe not. "I have an allergy."
"All the chemicals you work with and you are allergic o something that simple?" Isinia chuckled. "Strange." She suddenly looked upset. "I know this is going to take a long time to adjust to Kat." Kat. She called me Kat. "But I'm trying. It's hard for me too. You've had more time with Doggie, and I've been separated from him for many years. You're almost closer to him… you know more about him. That feels odd."
"Well you were abducted. It wasn't your fault." I don't want your life story can't you just leave me alone? Just for once?
"Mmm… I have a lot of bad memories. I don't know how to share them with Doggie. Especially know that… well, it's okay for you Kat. In your years you are young – 21 to be exact. But me and Doggie are… getting on in life." I picked at my nails, irritated. Sod off, sod off, sod off. "He wants us to have children."
I restrained what I really thought. Instead I growled, "Oh? Really?"
"A son especially." Isinia sounded resentful and mournful. "Someone to look after this place when we die. Don't get me wrong, Kat, I want that more than anything. But I've already lost his baby once on Sirius and when I was on that ship… It's just that Gruummn regularly used to come into my cell and… he …" she looked at me. I was chewing at a hangnail, dismissively. "…Oh… you've heard enough. Don't worry. I'll just… I'll just go shall I? If you're tired?" I nodded.
Call me harsh, but I have better things to worry about than what happened to her on Grummnns ship. And I felt it was morally acceptable to hate the woman who was exactly what I wanted to be. Crugers wife.
She stood slowly and left, sighing on the way. When she was just about to allow the doors to close behind her, I thought of something to say. "Wait! He'll understand if you tell him. I don't know what you've been through, but don't make the same mistake I did time and time again. Tell him." She nodded, and finally left.
I turned over and looked at my clock. 6:30.. My shift started in exactly 15 minutes. Doggie would be in the command centre by 7. I groaned and got up.
Ok, one of the longest chapters I have ever written! Please read and review! The other chapters won't be as long as this, I swear!
A/N: How I calculated Kats age in her years – folklore states that for every 7 years that pass by in the human world, only one has passed by in the world of the domestic cat. Since Kat is part feline, I took up this rule, and divided 147 (her earthly age in years) by 7 to end up at the figure of 21.
