Story: Standing in Defiance
Summary: It wasn't enough to be young and married and learning to have a life together. The war was always darkening their doorways now, reminding them of what little time they had left. Still, Lily had learned to stand long ago.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and locations are the property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books and Warner Brothers Productions. I'm only playing with them for a while.
A/N: And here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Facing Fear. This chapter is dedicated to t-c-p09 who reminded me that I don't need a million reviews to have a good product, just one devoted reader. Thanks! Also, I will be doing a re-post of Facing Fear in the next couple of weeks, tweaking some mistakes I've found and minor errors! If you haven't read it, be warned, some characters might not make sense. As always, please enjoy and drop me a line!
P.S. This takes story begins September 1, 1979. For the purposes of my timeline, let us assume that James and Lily were married in the summer of 78 and have been married for over a year now. Also, I know that the cannon timeline indicates that Mrs. Potter is already dead by now, but she is one character I never got to explore in Facing Fear, so I'm indulging.
Chapter One: The War at the Front Door
On September first, King's Cross Station was filled to bursting with people and their luggage and their very busy lives. As a child, Lily had often wondered how it was possible for entire groups of Wizarding families to slip right past the muggles into an invisible barrier with nobody noticing. Now though, she thought she understood. Nobody saw something that they didn't want to see if they could help it. In that way, she supposed muggles and wizards weren't very different at all.
"Lily?" A warm hand gripped her forearm carefully and she turned into the altered face of her husband. Glamour charms could never make James Potter ugly, but he certainly looked odd in mousy-brown hair with deep brown eyes unmarred by rounded spectacles, like an unassuming version of his former self. Of course, to be fair, she suspected she didn't look particularly normal with her own altered features.
Lily was starting to really hate glamour charms.
"Are you okay?" James asked quietly, moving his hand to rest on the small of her back.
She nodded her reassurance and turned away from her inspection of the 9 and ¾ barrier decisively. "Fine," she muttered absently, "Just…thinking." But that wasn't what she was here to do. "Where's Dearborn?"
"Stationed outside the barrier," James replied, waving casually in the direction they'd just come from.
Lily nodded her acknowledgement. With a fleeting glance, I love you, be safe, she smiled at her husband and then strode away from him, taking her position near the train's boarding platform. A quick glance told her James was holding down the platform entrance just fine.
The first thing Lily took into account was the startlingly suspicious stares she was receiving from parents as they put their precious cargo onto the Hogwarts Express hurriedly.
"Don't dawdle, don't speak to strangers," One mother said, giving Lily a wary glance. "Write to me when you arrive."
"Mum, I can't write 'til tomorrow, you know that."
"Fine, but I expect a letter, Olivia."
"I promise."
All the conversations had that tone, that last chance to say goodbye. All the parents held on just a little too long when the hugged, their eyes sagged just a little too much when the stepped away from the train. Lily's gut twisted painfully at the though of all the students who wouldn't be going to Hogwarts this year, of all the children who would be kept at home, giving into the fear of Voldemort and his armies.
The first time she saw him, she barely took notice: a tall, dark-skinned man with hooded eyes and lips drawn into a thin line. His fists were bunched at his sides and every few moments his fingers would twitch as if in anticipation.
Lily turned away as a new group of students crowded the train entrance to board, casting her little acknowledgement as they whispered quietly. In front of her a boy tripped over his shoelaces and, instinctually, Lily bent to help him up.
"Are you okay?" She asked softly, helping the child to his feet. He couldn't be more than twelve, she thought.
"Thanks," he said with a crooked smile, eyeing her cautiously.
"Of course," she nodded.
"Marcus," a man's voice cut in sharply and Lily looked up as a harried older wizard grabbed the boys arm muttering, "What did I tell you about speaking to strangers?"
"She only helped me up, Dad."
"Just get on the train, Son."
Lily sighed sadly and stepped back again.
It happened in that moment. She felt something shift in the air. On instinct she glanced back across the platform to the dark-skinned man. His eyes caught hers in the same instant and she moved her wand in an arc shouting "Protego," at the same time he shouted, "Stupefy."
"Get down," Lily screamed the next second, motioning towards the remaining students and parents on the platform. Several fell to their knees instantly with startled cries, others, further away from the commotion looked around in surprise and fear.
"Stupefy," Lily yelled, aiming through the crowd towards the death eater. He darted it easily, stepping behind one of the stone columns along the platform.
"Lily," James called, moving from his position into a dueling stance, "Get the kids on the train, get it out of here!"
Nodding uselessly, refusing to let herself worry for James, she turned immediately towards the children cowering behind their trunks and columns and parents in fear. Trusting her husband to handle any attacks, she bent quickly to the nearest child and all but frog-marched him up into the train. "Let's go, come on!" She shouted, waving towards the other kids, "Get on the train! Go!"
Slowly and then with more urgency the children began rising, their parents pushing them desperately onto the train. Lily reached towards them, lifting the smaller ones up, passing them to the teens already on board. The kids were screaming and crying, but there wasn't time to comfort them now.
We have to get this thing moving, get them out of here, she thought desperately.
Grabbing the robes of the nearest parent, she turned to face Marcus' father. "Get up there," she pointed to the train's engine block, "And tell them to get this thing moving!"
"The other children," he shouted in alarm, glancing around at the kids still littering the platform with tears in their eyes.
Lily glanced to James again, watching him duel the death eater with his usual quipy remarks. Her stomach tossed. "I'll get them on the train, just go!"
Without further argument, the father nodded and began darting through the crowd to speak to the driver.
Lily turned back to her task. "Onto the train, come on, come on!"
Five minutes later as she was helping the last group of children to board she heard the reassuring sounds of the steam engine firing up. She allowed herself a quick breath of relief before slamming the passenger door shut and arming herself to help James.
While he hadn't allowed the death eater a moment's peace to harm the others on the platform, he'd also not been able to land a curse of his own either. That made Lily wary. James was an excellent dueler.
Most of the parents had taken off upon seeing the train fire up and the engine began to thankfully pull away from the station and Lily darted through the remaining people easily towards the other end of the platform.
She'd nearly reached James' side when she heard a startled shout and turned to find Marcus' father being grabbed from behind by a tall, lithe man in all black robes, his face marred by a horrific white mask. Lily's heart sank. Reinforcements. And not the friendly kind.
Altering her course instantly, she veered left in their direction as the death eater raised his wand and aimed at the trembling man.
Marcus. What did I tell you about speaking to strangers, Lily heard in her head.
She only helped me up, Dad.
"No," Lily screamed and, stupidly, without thought, she pushed the man hard to the left in time to receive his curse.
Instantly, everything else on the platform faded. The lights grew dim and the shouting curses of her husband were muffled in her ears. All that Lily was aware of was the flame of intense pain coursing through her blood stream and the realization that you might actually be able to die of this. Someone was shrieking and, in a blinding moment of reality, she realized it was herself she was hearing, her own voice ringing in her ears. She bent double, crouching, trying to escape the torture, but there was no escaping this. No salvation.
She heard her husband's rich voice shout her name and then the world went dark.
~J*L~
There had been many times in his young life when James had had the feeling that the world was falling down around him. When he'd been younger it was the death of his father, then the rejection of his advances by Lily, later it had been the loss of his friend Nathalie and then the moment when he and Lily had parted ways. Since joining the Order of the Phoenix with his wife, it was always moments like the one he faced now.
Lily, whose personality made her seem larger than life when she was awake, always looked so small and vulnerable when she was sleeping. Especially when her sleep was induced by a healing potion. Her bright, young skin was a sickly shade of grey and purple bruises made her eyes seem sunken into her head. Even her hair, still glamoured in a disguise, was a pale red-blonde so much faded from its usual vibrant color.
He smoothed her locks back and then cast the counter charm to restore them to their natural state. As if it had been bothering her, Lily gave a small sigh of relief in her sleep and her hand groped lazily across the covers to find his.
"Knock, knock," A voice said softly at the bedroom door.
James looked up and gave a half-hearted smile. "Hey, mum."
Dorea Potter smiled reassuringly at her son. Dorea was a regal-looking sort of woman, born to an old Wizarding family and married into another. She walked with the sort of grace that screamed of old money and older traditions. Even in the comfort of her own home her robes were neat, pressed and appropriate for state dinners. Her hair, gone gray years ago, was pulled up into a neat chignon secured by ivory combs. Lily had told James once she was the sort of woman who made you feel like you were important just by standing near her. She was also, like her son, incredibly kind-hearted.
"She'll be fine, love," His mother said, coming into the room where James was perched at the edge of the bed.
At first they, Lily especially, had been worried about living with James' mother after their wedding. But Dorea Potter was a very wealthy woman and used to getting her way and her way had one stipulation: James and his wife could join the Order of Phoenix only if the Order (and her children) relocated to Potter Manor. Dumbledore had been open to the idea of the group meeting outside of Hogwarts walls anyway and the promise of thousand-year-old magical wards was certainly appealing. So Mrs. Potter opened her doors to a fleet of young, powerful and purposeful witches and wizards. A small price to pay, she thought, for the assurance of her son being nearby.
"It's always Lily," James sighed fretfully, watching the steady rise and fall of his wife's chest as if it might stop any moment.
"It always will be, darling," Dorea told him gently. "She's the only person I've ever met to value everyone else's life before her own."
James knew this of course. He'd seen it more than once. But that didn't make loving the woman any less difficult.
"Righteous idiot," He said, brushing a stray hair off her face.
Dorea chuckled. "Dinner's ready and the rest of the Order are arriving for the report."
James sighed, nodded and after placing a kiss to Lily's forehead, followed his mother out.
~J*L~
The first thing Sirius noticed when James stepped into the dining room where Order members were gathering was how haggard and tired his best friend looked. The second thing he noticed was that his best friend's wife was not present.
"Padfoot," James said surprised, "When did you get back?"
"Just now," he answered, giving his friend a quick embrace. "Where's Red?"
James sighed, never a good sign, and pointed vaguely up. "Sleeping. She got hurt...again."
Sirius shook his head worried, but honestly not surprised.
Remus and Peter came into the room short of breath and immediately ambushed the duo with questions for the missing red-head. "Doc told us she was hurt," Peter was saying.
"At King's Cross," James confirmed. "You were right about the attack, Wormy."
It turned out that all those years he'd been the eyes and ears for the Marauders were paying off in Order duties. He was always the first to know and was working with an unnamed informant on recent and planned Death Eater activity.
"So what happened to Lily?" Remus asked.
Before James could answer Dumbledore came into the room, his eyes looking damn tired. "Good evening, everyone," he said softly then turned to James. "I trust Mrs. Potter is doing well?"
"She's resting," James said, "And shaken. But she'll be fine."
A collective sigh filled the room reminding Sirius that everyone loved Lily. You just couldn't help yourself.
"What happened, James?" Dorcas asked from across the table, her eyes dark with worry for the girl. Beside her, Alice Longbottom, another one of Lily's closest friends, took Dorcas' hand.
"Peter's intel was good," James said. "There was an attack at the platform. Scare tactics, I think," James said. "There were only two Death Eaters, nobody was badly injured."
Dumbledore nodded, "And how was Lily hurt?" He asked.
James' face screwed up, "The way she always is," He sighed, "One of the parents started fighting back but he was disarmed. She stepped in front of the Cruciatus curse for him."
"That idiot," Dorcas sighed and the same time that Marlene McKinnon hissed, "Those bastards!"
Emmeline Vance pulled her lips into a thin, tight line very reminiscent of Professor McGonagall and shook her head.
Sirius felt something cold and festering curl up in his chest. It wasn't shock that had him so enraged. It was hardly startling that the other side would stoop to Unforgivable curses. After all, his dear, deranged cousin had always had a love for the most gruesome of forbidden curses. No one had ever managed to pin incidents on her in school, but that didn't mean they didn't happen. Sirius knew for a fact that she'd once tortured a stray dog to death. He'd been the seven year-old standing behind her begging her to stop.
But this was different. This was Lily. Few things in Sirius' life were deemed 'untouchable,' but Lily was the purest person he knew and was, in his eyes, just about perfect.
"I was able to disarm one," James said, puling Sirius back to the present and producing a spare wand from his pocket that they both knew would later be given to Ollivander to determine the owner. "But they took off when they realized we neutralized their target. The MLE was already arriving on the case when I got Lily out of there."
"Good work, James," Dumbledore said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You all did well and none of the students or parents were harmed." James nodded appreciatively, but his face said everything Sirius was feeling: when would this all be over?
~J*L~
Lily was resolutely ignoring the soreness of her limbs and the insistent shortness of breath she felt the next morning as, always the first to rise, she made her way into the manor kitchen and started whipping up breakfast. The Potter's were loaded, and that was being modest, but Dorea had always felt using house-elves was a sickening brand of sycophantry. She wasn't exactly the domestic sort though. After all, despite her political standing on slavery, she was still raised in a pure-blooded home. She'd gotten by and hired witches throughout James' childhood to make sure that she and her family were able to eat more than toast and jam. When James married Lily, the red-head had willingly appointed herself as head chef in the Potter household to everybody's delight.
Were James sleeping less lightly, Lily knew he'd be protesting her usual regime of making breakfast for the many Order members who resided in their home, but fortunately for her, James was sleeping like a log and she was determined to go about business as usual. After all, it was only a Cruciatus curse.
As she stood over the stove flipping flapjacks and pretending that her lower back wasn't aching horribly, she nearly shrieked to wake the entire household when a pair of muscled arms slipped around her waist from behind. Turning a tight circle she let out of squeal of delight instead as she met a pair of entrancing grey eyes. A reprimand died in her throat, making way for a happy giggle.
"You're back," She said excitedly, launching herself into Sirius' arms and allowing him to lift her off the floor and hug her close. "The house has been dreadfully quiet without you."
Sirius chuckled, brushing his shaggy hair out of his handsome face. "Hello, Red. Missed me, did you?"
Lily shrugged playfully as Sirius deposited her onto the counter, where she relaxed comfortably, "Not really," she teased.
Sirius grinned, casually flipping the pancake in the pan for her as Lily allowed herself to ease back so that her head rested against one of the high cupboard doors. "So how's it been going without me around?"
Lily shrugged, her grin dropping into a grimace, "Same as usual, I suppose. We win some, we lose some; we take hits, they take hits. Nobody ever mentions how tedious war is when they show it in the films." Sirius nodded his understanding. "So when did you get back?"
Her friend cut her a wolfish grin. "Last night. I would've seen you sooner, but I hear you were busy playing the hero."
Lily grimaced. This was one of the very few contention points between her and her dearest friend. "I wasn't 'playing the hero,' you arse. I was doing the right thing. It's utterly different."
"Stepping in front of a Cruciatus," Sirius shook his head, pouring out a new disc of pancake batter, "You must be barmy!"
"Uh, I believe you and my husband were the fifteen year-olds running about with a werewolf every full moon at school," Lily said pointedly, pulling her legs to her chest on the counter-top and trying not to wince at the stiffness of her muscles.
"We were doing that to help someone, Lil."
"I was doing this to help someone too," Lily argued.
"Someone you'd never even met."
"Someone with a student on that train," Lily insisted. "Someone who's life makes a direct impact on a child. A parent, Sirius." Her voice grew quiet and pensive and Sirius grimaced internally.
For as long as they'd been close, parents had always been a touchy subject for Lily. Born to muggles who, try as they might, had never managed to understand her magical lifestyle, she'd had an ugly split from them their seventh year which had led to her erasing their memories temporarily. She'd gone back after school had let out, her fiancé' in tow and a slew of apologies. They were on speaking terms these days and had even attended the wedding, but things had never been the same for her and Sirius understood (better than anyone else, perhaps) the need she had to ensure that others never faced that sort of disappointment.
"I'm sorry, Flower," Sirius said softly, abandoning his post at the stove to stand before her again.
"I know it was stupid," Lily whispered, pressing her face into his chest. "I'm lucky it was only a Cruciatus, really."
Sirius nodded and stroked her red hair affectionately. "I know I can't make you stop putting yourself in danger. But do try to remember all the people you'd leave behind as well, hmmm?"
Lily nodded silently into his chest. "So..." she said after a moment's silence. "What were you up to on you top-secret mission, then?"
Sirius laughed, pulling away at her clear signal that she was fine and he could stop worrying. "You realize of course that's the most ridiculous question you could ask? Clearly if its 'top-secret' I can't tell."
Lily scoffed, "Like you've ever been one to keep secrets or follow rules."
Sirius paused. "Point taken. If you must know," he gave her a pointed look, "I was meeting with the Old Families."
"What?"
"The Old Families," He repeated slowly as if she were some particular breed of slow and stupid. "There may be some sympathetic to our cause, you see?"
"There are?" Lily's shock was nearly comical.
Sirius nodded. "A good majority of them back Moldy Voldy, of course, but there are a few of the old bloodlines who don't adhere so strictly to the pure-blood creed. I know a few of them intimately, us all having grown up in similar situations. Anyway, I suspect I may have reached a few. Some will never be swayed, of course. Fear and all that," He shrugged. "But it's as good a start as any, I guess."
Lily nodded her understanding as she climbed timidly off the kitchen counter and began frying up sausages to go with the pancakes they'd just finished. "Well, I'm glad you went to convince them, Sirius, but mostly, I'm glad you're back."
Sirius grinned, hip-checking her gently and giving her one of his ravishing smiles. "Me too."
