OKAY, Y'ALL! SO, AS INDICATED IN SUMMARY, HERE ARE THE WARNINGS, WHICH MADE ME PUT IT IN THE 'T' RATING. THEY ARE AS FOLLOWS:
VIOLENCE, DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGERY, BLOOD, DISCRIPTION OF TORTUROUS METHODS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDIES, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
SO HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS, AND DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA! AND, AS ALWAYS...
GOD BLESS, AND GOOD DAY!
~THE LUPINE SOJOURNER
I have compartmentalized my life into two 'sections.'
Before, and After. I won't waste time on Before. Mainly because I don't remember it. In fact, the most I do remember from Before is being shoved into a sack. Literally. That's it, aside from the fact that I lived near some city. However, I can't remember which city, as I was too simple-minded at the time. While I wish I could say the same for After...I can't. These scars run too deep, and the nightmares are too real. But before I confuse you more, I will start off at the beginning.
=#=#=#=
What is the first thing, deep in your memories, that you vividly remember feeling? Can you picture it?
I can.
Pain. And lots of it. Agony, in fact. Pure, horrible, torturous agony. Agony so terrible it brought on my first tears, though I didn't know what they were at the time. I opened my eyes to darkness, then the sound of scraping. Something scrapping against something hard. As my eyes became fully capable of sight, I noticed men and women in stark white lab-coats. So white, they burned my eyes in the harsh, fluorescent light above me. They held something in their hands, looking at it, then at me, then back at the object in their hands, scribbling on it. Meanwhile, the agony spread to every part of me, going deep, too deep in fact. Mercifully, I passed out at some point. Either that, or I can't remember what came next.
I awoke to something cold and damp, pressing against my cheek. I groggily opened my eyes to find a creature staring back at me. It had fur like me, but it was in many different colors (I later learned that it was called a raccoon) and it stared at me with startlingly dark brown eyes that shone with a light bordering on intelligence. I shakily got on all fours, but soon collapsed again.
The creature beside me placed his side against mine, and helped me to my paws. I gazed around and found that we were in a large cage, the bars too thick and close together to even attempt to squeeze through. There was that white light again, flooding in through the bars of the cage. I sat down, with my forepaws in between my back ones. My entire body ached with residual pains from whatever had happened before I blacked out and the creature beside me seemed to be in a similar, if not identical position. He, too, sat down, cocking his head at me as though asking what was wrong. I nodded toward the bars of this cage, wincing when it sent a small flare of pain up my spine. Then, we heard footsteps, coming down the passage toward us. Soon, we saw humans approaching, and I instinctively backed as far into the corner as I could, trying to go through them somehow, and run away. However, that never happened as the door was opened, and a hand reached in, heading straight for me. I moved to the other corner as fast as I could, but something held onto my tail. I whirled my head around and saw a hand with an incredibly strong grip, dragging me toward the door. I tried to gain some kinda foothold, but found the floor too slick, the thing dragging me too powerful. As I was yanked from my cage, my head slammed against a protruding bar, narrowly missing my eye. I let out a loud and sharp bark of pain, cringing when the blood started trickling down my face. I was grabbed by the nape of the neck and hauled away, watching as a rather tall and frightening human reached into the cage, its hand emerging with the other creature's tail clasped inside it. The creature was then transitioned to being held in the same manner as I was being held.
=#=#=#=#=
I didn't like the feel of the cold thing most everything in the lab was made out of, I found out as I was forced onto my back on a slab of something very had and incredibly cold. The icy air seemed to radiate into my very bones. Then, my front paws were wrenched away before I could react, and when I tried to pull them back, the same icy thing I was laying on seemed to have taken a hold of my front paws. The process was repeated with my back-paws. The light above me was blinding at first, but my eyes adjusted relatively quickly. Then, I saw several of those odd creatures above me. They had odd, pointy things, hovering directly above my skin. I flinched away, despite the extremely awkward position I was in. It did nothing to stall the scientists, though, as they thrust whatever they held onto my neck. When they took it out, after much pain, it was colored crimson for some reason. They did this a few times before coming once again toward me, this time with that thing filled with some other liquid. They jabbed it into my front leg, and when they drew it out, it was clear. On and on this went before I was released and returned to the cage.
=#=#=#=#=
Then came the time I realized that I was starting to think like those vile scientists, using the same words to express myself, though it was only in my thoughts. I still couldn't talk. It had been a long time since that first memory, spent dreading every day. The injections. The blood samples...I also came to the startling realization that I looked more like the people holding me captive than the wolf I had been. It was quite alarming, only made slightly better by the fact that the raccoon had undergone the same changes. Though I looked more like the women, with the same...curves. And my companion took after the men.
=#=#=#=#=
"Sir! The subjects can't possibly be-"
"Shut up, McClagen! They are ready enough for this procedure!"
Already my heart was pounding, as two scientists argued outside our cage before the one farther away pushed the one standing closer to our cage, McClagen, aside and opened the door. My tail went stiff against my back, but the figure somehow saw that, and reached for my wrists instead. I was dragged from our small sanctuary, the raccoon attempting to help me resist. But it was futile. Once again, I was held by the nape of the neck, leaving me practically helpless as I was carried toward the dreaded double steel doors that meant more torture. As usual, I was strapped down within minutes, my resistance meaning hardly anything to the men and women now standing above me. I was laid out on my back, heart pounding fit to burst, the beating sounding loudly in my ears. A man approached, scalpel in hand. He placed it at the base of my neck. I my eyes widened for a split second before I squeezed them shut again in agony as my mouth opened in a silent scream. Nothing ever came out, but I always tried. The scalpel sliced up my throat, leaving me to choke on my own blood as it was laid open, blood oozing into my fur and onto the metal table. I felt something grab the innards, and hold it slightly above it's original position. Then, a woman drew near with scissors. I couldn't breath, but still felt everything as the scissors cut whatever the man held. They placed the bloody pile of flesh and muscle on the small tray beside the surgical tools. I heard other people in the opposite corner, and gazed over in horror. The raccoon was in my position, as well! I felt like sobbing, but didn't dare. I knew that if I did, it would likely result in my demise, as my jugular vein was exposed, laying close to whatever the scientists has just removed. Yet another man approached with a bag full of something bloody and gross-looking, and he opened it, taking out whatever was inside. The woman took it, and I felt her hands inside my throat as I struggled to breath, the pressure there almost making it impossible. The woman then reached behind her, her free hand grasping something. She turned back with an already threaded needle in hand. I almost tried screaming again, but somehow kept my mouth shut, though I would have been making sounds if I could. The thread hurt, but the needle was worse, digging in and out again, repeating almost endlessly. Finally, the work was done, and I was wheeled back to the cage. However, the small amount of consideration ended there as I was thrown into the dark of our cage, sliding and tumbling slightly as I came to a halt. I felt my neck, and recoiled in pain when it flared up. There was thread there, keeping it together. All too soon, the raccoon was thrown inside, as well. He, too, felt his neck. Then turned toward me, blinking when he saw my stitches. We scooted closer, and our arms wrapped around each other, the sobbing causing extreme pain. We ended up leaning back against the walls of our prison, eventually falling into blissful darkness.
=#=#=#=#=
The next time I woke, I felt like my throat was in fire, and encased in ice at the same time. But it hurt more than anything. I breathed slowly, and the pain dulled a bit. The raccoon was awake as well. I grimaced when I felt my neck to find that those stitches were still there. My eyes teared up, and this time, an incredibly small whimper came out. I gasped with shock, then clapped a hand over my mouth. How were these sounds coming out? They hadn't before. This shouldn't be possible. Right? How long was I asleep? What had those scientists done to me? Why were they doing this to us in the first place? WHY?!
=#=#=#=#=
"Subject 83P65 is becoming sentient faster than anything we've ever seen, sir." The figure standing behind me said as I struggled against the restraints, laying flat out on my back. "That being said, I hardly think we need to give 83P65 the serum." What were they talking about? What were they going to do to me?
"Hmm. Perhaps we should give 83P65 the cybernetic nervous system observation implants, instead. See what happens." Another figure, this one above my head, suggested. The other figure hummed, as if deliberating.
"But it's clearly a female. We would be forced to insert them almost directly into it's-"
"I am well aware of the situation, McClagen." The second figure interrupted. I was panting heavily, still fruitlessly struggling against the icy metal restraints that were slicing into me the more I struggled. The figures seemed to decide on something. I couldn't see what they were going to do, but I knew that it was going to hurt. Nothing these scientists did to me didn't hurt. I felt the cold disinfectant-soaked rag, being drawn over my shoulder blades, leaving that slight burning sensation, then felt my fur forcibly shaved off. I knew better than to struggle when the razor was shaving sections of my fur. It only made it worse. As the scientists shaved, I was rigid, tense, awaiting whatever those 'implants' meant for me. I already knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Then, things clicked in my brain, and I suddenly knew what all this meant. They were preforming a surgery!
"Please! No! Don't!" I cried with my still raspy voice, which (once again) did nothing to stop the scientists as they drew nearer. There was suddenly pressure on my midsection, holding my body down.
"Beginning procedure...now." The first figure said, drawing a surgical mask over his nose and mouth.
Then my shoulders irrupted in pain. I let loose an extremely loud and frankly animalistic scream, arching my back, which only made the figures' job easier. I didn't care, only wanting to curl up, to sob in my cell with that other subject, the raccoon. Then, a cold, fiery pain slid deeper into my tissue and muscle. Whatever it was, it dove deep, reaching my spinal cord, making the pain increase tenfold. I was now blinded by pain as I thrashed.
It wasn't making much, if any, difference at all, due to the constant harsh pressure on my abdomen, forcing my shoulders up, and easier to cut into. Then, more slicing through my nerve-riddled muscle tissue. With my cursed advanced nerves, I literally felt the muscle being slit apart under the scalpel's blade. Then, right where the scalpel had opened a deep channel in my tissue, that icy fire filled the gap, making healing the affected tissue a relative impossibility. That's when it hit me. Whatever these scientists were doing to me, it was permanent. It wouldn't just heal up and be forgotten, leaving hardly any trace it had been there, like the injection and blood sample pricks. However I look coming out of this surgery, whatever had changed about me, I would be stuck like that.
Forever.
I wanted to hurl, but nothing was available for ejection. Then, the figures moved to my other shoulder, and the whole process was repeated. Another ear-splitting screech tore from my lips, hardly stopping for breath as the scalpel and whatever they were going that caused that fiery, icy feeling repeated the minutes of pain. Then, with the last strokes of the scalpel, one last piece of the frozen fire was put into place, and I was grabbed, released, and thrown back into my cage. I landed with a agonized yelp that sounded almost like a bark, sliding a few feet into the cage, only to find that I was alone in the dark.
"No, no, no." I whispered, curling into myself, hugging my legs, and resting my head on my knees, sobbing when my shoulders burned and ached with the movement.
I was alone. The raccoon had obviously died during surgery or something, like so many other subjects that faded away in this laboratory. There was no one left but me now. The others were long gone, their screams only echoes in my mind now...
I was all alone...
Until the raccoon was tossed inside after me. He came over, and we hugged, hissing when our shoulders burned.
"W-what did they do?" He asked. I gulped thickly.
"T-this." I said, and turned my bared back to him. He gasped, then hesitantly reached forward, gently tracing whatever those men and women had put in me.
"Gah! Please, don't!" I rasped out, gasping for breath as the pain subsided.
"Sorry." He replied, and I knew he meant it. He then turned around, and I saw that there were three metal spheres. One on each of his shoulders, and one at the very bottom of his neck.
"They did this to me, as well?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "This is what my back looks like, too?"
"Yes."
=#=#=#=#=
The next time I was on the table, I was laying on my back, making my shoulders ache and burn.
"The subject is prepped and the second half of the operation is a go." The figure said, and a scalpel was placed halfway down my sternum. The woman narrowed her eyes in concentration, pushed down, releasing agony, and pulling down, creating a thin line of fire down my chest. The scream sounded like an animal, but she didn't notice, calmly placing the scalpel a few inches below my collarbone, and sliced across, meeting the first line she had carved into me.
"Please, no! Gah!" She reached back, then brought this piece of machinery forward, and inserted the wires into the grooves she had just made in my tissue. Both ends had a bulb-like object on it. Like the raccoon's back implants. Man. I need to get a name for him. Something. Anything. I didn't want to keep calling him 'the raccoon'. It seemed too insensitive. Then, in the direct middle of the make-shift cross now oozing blood over my chest, the woman put a larger bulb, connected the other bulbs' wires to it, then reached for a needle and thread. So that's what that those last few minutes of pain always were. She stitched my chest up, showing no acknowledgment of my cries and screams. Then, a few more scientists came in and wheeled me to the cage before throwing me inside, slamming the door with a resounding bang. There were only a few blankets for warmth and cover. I grabbed one and pulled it over my quivering body, heedless of the flare in my shoulders. I was careful not to let anything touch my chest, still oozing small drops of blood.
The raccoon came shooting into the cage like a rocket after who-knows-how-long, landing with a bark before quickly covering himself with the only other blanket. It was a mutual agreement that we shouldn't be looking at each other's bare bodies. So we covered ourselves before the other was allowed to look up from the floor. I smirked. Rocket. That's an easy enough name to pronounce. Now for me. That proved a bit difficult.
=#=#=#=#=
The scientists soon grew curious as to how much we knew, and decided to test us. We were led by collar and leash to a room. Forced to sit down, and handed a sheet of problems to work through. Sometimes it was math, and sometimes, it was reading. Or language. Whatever the scientists seemed to think was necessary to test us on. After we had completed all of their stupid tests to their satisfaction, we were still forced into the chair, but now to either watch a video, or to listen to random lists of facts about any topic. I learned much about the universe, and it's various language. In a year, I could speak in about twenty different alien languages, as well as many Terran languages. I also knew just about everything concerning practically any planet. Of course, I was hooked up to electrodes and tested on this knowledge as I learned new material. I was shocked whenever I got something wrong, the bulbs on my chest and back ensuring I suffered tremendously. I eventually decided on a name for myself.
Blade, after the swords I learned about.
Tough lengths of steel or iron, sharpened to a deadly point. Swift, silent, lethal. It made me feel tougher than I really was.
=#=#=#=#=
I had stopped growing! I could no longer measure any differences in my height when I stood straight against a bar in the cage, scratching a mark to record my height. And I hadn't gone up for a few weeks. So, naturally, the scientists wanted to investigate. And, as always, they chose the most painful method of study possible.
Vivisection. The first time, the scalpel was pressed into the bottom of my ribcage, slicing down to my hips. The only up-side was that there were only women in the room as I was opened up, blood once again pooling on the table, seeping into my fur. The women pulled, tugged and prodded at my innards, nothing below them as they made notes and developed theories about my lack of growth. When they had enough notes to satisfy their thirst for information, they grabbed that dreaded needle and thread. I made sure to land on my back when they tossed me into the cage again. Within seconds, I was gripping the blanket tightly around myself, tears pooling at my feet as I sobbed. I felt dirty, exposed, violated.
This was wrong, what they were doing. I dreaded to think what Rocket was going through. I took a shuddering breath. Then flinched as the door was wrenched open and Rocket himself was tossed in. The door's boom left my ears ringing. I gazed at the floor until Rocket said it was okay. Then, he was against my chest. I hissed and gently pushed him up.
"Sorry, but that hurts. A lot." I rasped. Rocket leaned against my shoulder instead.
"That...was awful." He breathed, voice shaky, his eyes looking haunted. I guessed mine were, as well.
"Yeah...they sliced you open, didn't they?" I asked, just to be sure. Rocket could only nod through his tears. I let them loose, as well, and we stayed like that til we slipped into sleep.
=#=#=#=#=
Several months of painful testing of every possible field they could test and vivisections, something changed. I was being dragged out of the cage, when the entire room tilted to one side, shaking so bad the man let me go, crashing against the wall as the room continued it's insane bouncing and wild tilting and crazy shaking. Other people crowded into the room as red lights flashed and klaxons blared.
"What the heck is going on?!" One demanded.
"It's NovaCorps!" Another replied. "They found us!"
"What do we do with the subjects?"
"There's no time! Run!"
My heart was pounding. In the confusion, the door was left open. At the first opportunity, we slipped out, and ran for the halls. We had been here long enough to know our way around, though we never let the scientists know that. That would be practically suicide. Then, we heard the men and women rushing around, gathering the notes and theories on us, their creations, their subjects. We dodged around scientists, who were only intent on saving themselves. Then, we literally ran into blue-clad legs. We stumbled back, ignoring any and all pain we felt. A kind-faced man with a military brown haircut and smiling eyes bent down slowly. I held out a hand to stop Rocket attacking and getting hurt.
"Hey there." He said slowly. Then, he noticed our scarred skin, and the implants we never could get out, and his face flashed in horror, anger, and disgust. "Did they do that to you?"
THERE IT IS, FOLKS! THIS ISN'T THE END, THOUGH. IT'S JUST THE CLOSE OF THE FIRST CHAPTER. I LOVED WRITING THIS, AND HOPE YOU LIKE READING IT! LOVE Y'ALL, AND HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU!
'TILL NEXT TIME!
