AN: Just a really quick insight inside Rachel's head after the proposal after seeing all the Finchel hate. I wrote this pretty quick and late so hopefully it makes sense.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
We may not have all the answers
I know that we can change some of the things that are beyond our control
And the vision of us may be blurry
But use your heart to see
Just follow the beat, the rhythm will lead you right back to me
Sometimes it's a game of give and take
It's easy to break
But hold on and wait
Have a little faith
She never did plan on falling in love with him.
It wasn't her fault that the first time she saw him in the hallways that her heart, that was reserved for Broadway for so long, decided to awaken, as if it had been sleeping this entire time and was now calling his name.
It wasn't her fault that the first time she heard him sing in the auditorium that she saw him in a whole different light, a light that she was so attracted to that she would stop at nothing to get it like how a cat chases after a laser, knowing fully well that a girl like her could never get a guy like him.
But she did. It might have taken a few tries and false hopes but finally she caught him for good.
She didn't know she loved him back then though. She didn't know the exact moment when she knew that she was in love with him. But it was always him, right from the beginning. All the drama and heartbreak that happened in the past, it only made their love grow stronger.
She's learned from all those mistakes she made, they both did, and most importantly, they grew from that.
No longer was she that loner who cried herself to sleep, praying that all the bullying and torture would stop with only her talent being her drive.
No, now she's happy. Now, she has real friends, people who care about her. Now, she finally has a place where she belongs.
That doesn't mean she's driven any less though, especially when it comes to her future.
New York is a given; Broadway is a given, that much has always been true from the beginning. But what happens then? What about now? Will the choices she makes now forever change her destiny?
If falling in love wasn't a part of the plan, then getting engaged in high school certainly wasn't a part of the plan either.
She knows what people think, that she's giving up her life if she marries Finn. Is it so wrong to fall in love? Is it her fault that she met her soul mate in high school?
Does she forget falling in love with Finn? Never. It's not like she changed for him or she's less of a diva because of it. She's more mature now, and everything she said to and about him was nothing less than real.
She loves him more than a woman could ever love a man, and she wouldn't have said yes if she didn't want to. She knew fully well what the consequences were and frankly, she was willing to accept them. It doesn't seem logical, marrying so young, and especially with the statistics these days, well the odds are certainly not in their favor.
But they're different, and that is what makes them special. She hasn't exactly been living the "normal life" so there's no reason to start now. Besides, there is only one Finn and Rachel in the world. There's only one person who she could ever spend forever with.
She does hear him better when he doesn't talk, because when they sing together, they're connected in a whole different way. It was music that brought them together after all.
When they sang that song together, she finally understood why he decided to propose so early. When you're spending the rest of your life with the person you love, forever just isn't enough.
She wants more than just Broadway. She wants to wake up to the face of the man she loves. She wants to come home to him and kiss him goodnight every single night. She wants to be a star onstage and a star offstage when the curtains close because every time he looks at her, she feels like a star. She wants the applause and Tonys. She wants children; she wants to see the perfect combination of him and her. She wants to grow old with him, she wants to be sitting on their front porch fifty years from now, old and wrinkly, and not have any regrets. And whatever Rachel Berry-soon-to-be-Hudson wants, she does not stop until she gets.
She doesn't want to live alone for the rest of her life with an x number of cats. She found someone who not only loves her, but makes her happy and is supportive of her dreams, and there's no way she's letting him go.
So yeah, she fell for him, hard. Some people might call her foolish for doing so. She doesn't care. The only thing she's scared about right now is telling the others-her fathers, Kurt. They're probably not going to be as supportive as she'd hope.
To be honest, as psychic as she is, she doesn't know what the future holds. She is skeptical about the whole thing, knowing fully well that things will definitely not go as plan. She'll grow, she'll change, she'll learn. What she does know is this: whatever comes her way, she was meant to fall in love with Finn. She needs him, and he needs her. If all this makes her a causality of love, then so be it.
All is fair
In love and war
Knock me down
And I'll get back up wanting more
Through the fire and rain
It makes me numb from the pain
That's the price, that's the price, I'll pay
I will go down to the last round
I'll be your strength to find you when you get lost in the crowd
So I'll stand up tall, Baby if I fall
Then I'll go down as a casualty of love
Short I know but please review! Song is "Casualty of Love" by Jessie J.
