Surpirise! Happy birthday, Kirsten! If this sucks, I'm sorry, however it has been some time since I've set my hand to writing fanfiction.
(Also, rereading this, I'm actually shocked at the direction it took. So much for fluff. -J)
"In a world of two, only one is half." – Kuruk, lucifer
In a once beautiful world made vile by humans, you attempt to see the good in every day. A server smiling at a small jest, a lost animal reunited with its owner, a young person having an animated conversation over a meal with a grandparent. Sights like these make you smile, and for a moment, forget that evil exists in the world. You know that small instances do not make all the changes that you wish possible, but you know it is a minor, tentative step in the right direction.
She is pragmatic, taking an approach towards everyday life that you can only admire. Her reluctance to give up on the world warms your heart, and even the small part of it that you and her – and others- protect, will one day be better off than before.
You follow her for years, in the line of duty. Others come and go, but she holds true to her principles, to what she idealises as a perfect world. You're not sure if you entirely agree with what she pictures, but you love her enough to know that nothing is perfect.
In your perfect world, there would be no hatred, no murder, and an endless supply of love. But you know there are different types of love, like between a pet and its owner, a mother and child, or two people who follow their heart's longings. But there are other forms, such as a love of fine food or drink, a love of cars, and the one which troubles you the most, a love of violence.
You are not a violent person, but you understand the rage that drives those willing to risk everything. You witness it often enough on the streets and behind closed doors. And you know her world has no place for that, so you follow her.
The years pass, and you gain a higher rank, which you know was unexpected by your peers and commanding officers. But she always believed in you, and when you reveal the news to her, she is not surprised.
It has been nearly ten years since your first meeting, and you still follow her, but in a different unit with different peers. She is highly ranked and regarded now, and those around you are learning that if she is there, you are never far away. You are her second in command, her lieutenant, and her best friend.
Some whisper that you are nothing but a pawn, and you dismiss those claims, because what has she got to gain from manipulating you? Your thoughts prove true when you are elevated to a rank equal with hers, and become a leader in your own right. The two of you are unstoppable, and those that whispered fall silent.
Months pass before you are afforded a break, and the two of you retreat to the coast, enjoying respite beside the ocean. After a week, you become lovers and it feels natural, as if a missing puzzle piece has been fitted into a void inside yourself. And in the silent understanding between the two of you, you know she feels the same.
More time passes, and you are discharged from the Force, due to injury. You adjust to life with a prosthetic arm, and she jokes that you are better with one hand than she is with two. You know that the technology exists for you to utilize a working mechanical arm, but you are too proud to admit the discomfort it would cause you and your love. So you learn to write with your left hand, and she helps.
Seasons change, and she joins you in your imposed retirement. The two of you have not even hit fifty years, but she understands the frustration you feel at your incapacity, and so gives up her career to join you in a small house by the beach. Though you appreciate what she has done, you don't appreciate her giving it away for you. You fight and talk, and in the end you reach an understanding. Words that you read years ago wing their way back to you – 'You don't have to like it, you know. You just have to do it.'
Time passes, and you are married to her by the seashore. Friends you had almost forgotten attend the small ceremony, and you are immensely grateful that they took the time out of their busy lives to join you and her in celebration. During the service, a small part of your mind remarks on the fortune that took your right arm instead of your left – you doubt that the gold wedding band would appear half as beautiful on a plastic limb. But you look into her eyes and see nothing but love, and that minute voice whispers that it wouldn't matter, either way.
You never have children, and that is fine with you. She mentions it once, and you agree that a child would be nearly impossible at this stage in your lives. But those friends that you had thought forgotten visit more and more, and you're surrounded by their families, and later on, their grandchildren. You resign yourself to being called "Auntie Stella", and though Shannon frowns as though disapproving of being called "Auntie Shan", you know that she secretly adores the name.
Technology advances and so you finally take the trip you had craved all these years, visiting the only place you ever wanted to go. As the shuttle lifts off the ground, you take her hand in yours and squeeze tightly.
Pure balls of light and complete darkness are what greet you once your shuttle leaves Earth's atmosphere. Here, you know, there is no hate, no love, and no feelings. Here is Creation at its finest, and with the woman you love beside you, you both gaze across the endless cosmos, and you secretly wish that you could be a part of it.
Your time comes, and you face it with no fear in your heart, for you and Shannon had made the decision may years before. There are no painful goodbyes, for she insisted on accompanying you, and you know that she would be beside you forever. So you take the shuttle back into the cosmos, and you share one last embrace before the unmanned ship reaches its destination.
The shuttle collides with a brilliant star which glows a shade of blue, reminiscent of her eyes. You hold tightly to your love as the impact crates a supernova, scattering your atoms amongst the stars. Momentarily, you take comfort in knowing that you and her would become a part of budding planets, of freshly born stars, and undoubtedly, of Life itself.
Satisfied, you close your eyes, knowing that in a world of two, only one is half.
