I don't own any of these characters, only the storyline is mine.
Thanks to C and Burntcore. Again.
Meet Jacob Black
I didn't let myself think before I'm done dressing , I did the buttons of my blue shirt real slow and placed my keys , my wallet and my Blackberry to their usual pockets of my leather bomber jacket. I wore the socks, i was really impressed with myself for not forgetting to take them , and did my shoelaces after i placed my feet in both of the shoes. If i wasn't in a bad mood, I would be looking really good with the clothes on me. I knew there was a bottle of my favorite perfume in the trunk but i wasn't in the mood for that. As i was done, thoughts from every aspect invaded my head.
I don't know if I'm a fool for doing this but i was concerned about her, she could've done something bad to herself. I may be the biggest fool on the face of earth I thought as I went over the things she said almost an hour ago, as I sat in my car.
How can I not see the bad side of it?
She slept with some random guys she picked up from bars or business dinners or maybe they were her clients from work. She slept with them without even the slightest thought of what it could do to me. How it would hurt me. I blocked the thought of her sighing another name than mine under a man that i didn't know. A man having sex with her in different positions. I blocked all the versions of this. I don't want to mess with the image of her that i held in the most hidden places of my being. I held another image of her than the image she shows to everyone. Somehow i thought i saw the true Bella in her all the time. I blocked all the thoughts of Embry telling me she was a major pain in the ass after he first met her. He loved her afterwards fool. They couldn't have seen this coming, I couldn't see this coming.
Actually I always knew something will happen someday and break us irreparably , when she came home shaken or when she sat on the bed trembling beside me. When i soothed to sleep or when she talked in her sleep- i never understood them though- , I always expected her to tell me something that I couldn't take. You always knew that it's gonna be difficult with her my internal voice said. Yes I knew. She told me once that she has a perfect phrase to describe herself. "damaged good". But I took her in no matter what she said to persuade me not to. She even told me about the man that left her. It was a sentence every now and then, she couldn't talk about him even after all those years but by the sentences I collected I had a profile of him in my mind.
How can i still try to find excuses for what she did? How can i still try to find a way to forgive her? Why do I want to check if she 's okay? Why is there still a part of me concerned to death of her well being?
Then I decided to clear my mind from these thoughts, you gotta take 3 deep breaths I thought to myself, another and and other. after 30ish all i thought of was the air traveling in my lungs. I didn't realize i put my head on the wheel as i clutched both of my hands tightly around it. I stayed in that position for God knows how long and when i raised my head, I saw the sun on the horizon, then I saw the people in suits rushing around the parking lot, I watched a few as they started their cars, absentmindedly. Good thing my windows are black or they would have thought someone has died from the look on my face ,I thought as I catch a glimpse of myself on the mirror.
As i took in that it's almost 7:30 AM all the thoughts I blocked came back rushing. is she okay? Did she do something dangerous to her?Even my mental voice was concerned. I startled at the mental image of her lying in a pool of blood poured from her wrists, on our bedroom floor. OK, you gotta check her, you don't have to talk to her until you decide what to do about this whole situation. you will just check her and pretend that you forgot something and get out quickly i encouraged myself.
I startled the lady from the car next to me that was arranging something on her backseat , standing before the open door , she almost jumped from her feet when i opened the door of my Ferrari. i murmured and apology as i saw her getting ready for a squeak but she didn't say anything after she saw my face. i look that bad. i clicked the button of the key to the car in my pocket and walked to the building.
On my way upstairs in the elevator, I tried to calm myself with internal speech. But that didn't help at all, I couldn't block of her being not OK from my mind anymore. As i got to the floor 20 ,I rushed out of the elevator to the door of our apartment. I quickly unlocked it and even before I realise started calling her name:
- Bella, Bella, where are you?
Started checking the bathrooms, and found her on our bed clutched to herself like a little kid, I saw the peaceful look on her face. She turned to face me as i continued calling her name but she just hummed something unintelligible and didn't open her eyes.
You see, she's asleep like a baby. she's OK.
She has the guts to sleep this peacefully after she ruined you.
Maybe she should have been the one to be concerned, maybe you are the one in danger of committing suicide.
These were the examples of the sentences of two sides of my thoughts. They continued fighting as I walked to the kitchen ,poured myself a glass of water and drank it in one sip. I saw my knuckles tremble, if I held the glass a little bit longer it would be in pieces piercing my palm. After I left the kitchen, on my way to the door, I caught a glimpse of my i pod standing on the counter next to the door, I took it in my hand and left the apartment.
When it got in the elevator there was noone there because we were on the top floor. I placed the ear buds in my ears as the music started, I skipped a few songs then decided to stop it. But I didn't remove the buds. On 17th floor two women got on. The ones that always eat me with their eyes. They didn't prove me wrong ,I could sense their piercing looks on my back as they started talking about me as I wasn't even there, Hey! I can hear you! ,then I noticed I still had the ear buds on and they thought I couldn't hear them.
- Isn't this Jacob?
- Oh my God! Check his face from the mirror.
- Maybe he killed that cold stuck statue of a woman.
- You're evil. ha ha ha. Oh, don't frown your beautiful face like this Jake!
Jake! who are you to call me Jake?
- She must have done something really bad, he loves that B- B-what's her name-Bella woman, he didn't even notice we were there when she's around.
- Yeah, definitely I bet he doesn't know we live here.
- How can someone do something bad to him ? If he were my man I would let him even kill me.
- I would let him do some other things first.
- No way! Look how glorious he is. I can watch him just stand there for hours.
- I hope he dumped her.
- That way we can get our hands on him.
- He's mine.
- No, He's mine!
After that I tried the ignore the whole conversation, they started giggling like middle schoolers- they were grown women in their mid twenties for God's sake- , I stopped myself from swearing at their stupidity out loud. They weren't even in the same league as Bella.
- The woman that can sleep like a baby after telling you she slept with a hundred or whatever guys.
- Shut up!
- Look at me, I'm sexier than her, she has a chest like a blackboard. I have D-cups.
- Maybe he loves broad-chested woman.
- I mean look at his hands, he needs something to fill them and it happens to be me.
- When I look at his hands I don't visualize the boobs he needs Jess, i visualize other things.
- OMG! I haven't thought about it.
- Don't bullshit me, you think about little Jacob everyday, even right now.
Little Jacob? how old are you ?
- You can't call it little in any language.
- But he's a man of love. And apparently we can't do anything to turn him down from his way.
- I think I know better than that about men.
A man of love, a right thing out of your mouths finally.
- Whatever, I have longer legs.
- Yeah, yeah you're perfect Jessica. But he's a level higher than perfect.
- Don't turn this into a bet Lauren, you know I'll get in his pants quicker than you.
- Make it 100 bucks. I'm in.
- I'll have him in their apartment.
- Yeah sure. If you have him in their apartment call me and I'll be your third wheel.
- Little Miss Lauren in a threesome, interesting.
I left the elevator disgusted , Embry would have a heart attack if he were me in that elevator. He would be flattered and turned on to death and would talk about it whole day. That was how my business partner and my best friend was. He would probably turn around to face the women and have sex with them right there. I didn't even know which one was Jess or which one is Lauren. I guess blonde and tall one is Jess, whatever.
- I bet he likes woman on top.
It's not about who's on top ladies it's about the woman you're with.
- I think he's spooning kind of guy.
- Hope he likes forking too.
- You're disgusting Jess
Yeah, she's right Jess, even Embry doesn't use such innuendos.
- If we're on with this bet I'm gonna start wearing racy stuff from now on.
- Like it's gonna make any difference.
- Stop being so such a pessimist bitch OK?
- Just sayin'.
I walked a faster pace than their high heeled knocks on the floor and before they could talk any further about the positions to turn me mad, I was next to my car. As i got on the -black miracle of a car- I thought of somewhere to go, definitely not the office. Then i decided to call my secretary, to tell her that I'm not coming today.
- Good morning, Mr. Black!
- Good morning Leah, Hey I'm not coming today, cancel all my appointments, we'll reschedule later.
- But sir, you have the lunch with European guys today.
- Tell Embry to go to our lunch with our guests from Europe alone. Call Mr. Aetera -the new manager- too , he can accompany him.
- OK Mr. Black is everything allright, you don't sound fine?
- Yeah, i guess so.
- Excuse me, sir?
- Yeah, I'm OK Leah.
- Then see you tomorrow Mr. Black I'll call you if anything important happens
- Actually I'm gonna turn off my cell now, contact Embry instead of me today.
- But Mr. Black, O-OK then . Have a good day , sir. Say hi to Miss Swan!
- Thank you Leah.
Thank you for reminding me Leah. I almost forgot the name of the woman that cheated on me!
Before she could babble about anything else dangerous I hung up the phone. I was on a car that is capable of taking me to anywhere in half the time than most of the people's cars, but had nowhere in mind to go. I started the car and drove out of town.
A/N: please review, i love reviews, who doesn't ?
