Frostfall 17 Era 3, anno 433 ~8:00AM

Curse the dawn and its burning touch.

I set out with the hope of beating the sun to New Sheoth, but it is clear to me now that I am clear-headed just with how much folly I executed this plan. New Sheoth lies upon the easternmost point of the Isles! And that accursed, wretched, but lovely Harbinger of Dawn sets its gaze there before any other place.

Foolishness is death, and I had best learn quickly to end this silliness.

For how long have I lived in this state as Messenger of the Night? It must have been at least a month by now. A most busy month, indeed - but a whole and wholesome full month, at that. I stand now in the chamber of the Madgod. I do not know for how long I have dwelt in his realm, but I have spent a fair portion of my new fledgling vampire life here. By choice, of course. The exquisite duality of Mania and Dementia as they complement each other and bring a harmonious contrast to the landscape is just too compelling to resist. Fair Tamriel would seem wretched in comparison; but it is not fair to compare the two lands, for they are worlds apart in all their meaning.

I look around at the artifacts that give testimony to my time here thus far. A simple Focus Crystal, used for attuning the resonance of the land with the protective instinct of its Creator; the Chalice of Reversal, the saving grace of a most mad pleasure-loving man, gone perhaps before his time; a helmet of one of those putrid scum, a member of the Knights of Order who have disgraced my Lord's lands with their heretical speak and truly drab wardrobe; a replica of the head of the Gatekeeper of the Twin Doors of Madness whom I slew so long ago to gain favor and entry to this land; a makeshift Inquisitor's Cage wherein dances the Lightning that dwelt a time ago within the bones of my enemies and the enemies of Syl (foolish, I was, to aid that serpent!); the blood of Thadon, former Duke of Mania, on whose Throne I now sit (or would if his Court did not still object); and the Helmet of a most wonderful Dark Lady that now sits wreathed in a pure and beautiful Flame.

Haskill takes note of my appearance. I cannot fault him for his curiosity; how often does one get the opportunity to not only dwell near, but act as servant and aide to a full Vampire in his glory and grace? Yet my pale skin still is flaking from the burning sensation of my morning journey. The Sun would do away with me swiftly in this form, and I was fortitous in that I arrived just shortly after dawn (as the change from "Duskblade" to "Dawnblade" in this relic that I carry still showed), but the damage was still horrific. I think I shall take a long rest before setting out on my journey tonight, if I get the chance. That should allow me sufficient time and silent solitude to mull over the past few days. I seek strength, as always. Many who knew my former form can attest to the fact that I was a lover of the rejeuvinating and reviving powers of Dawn and the Sun, before I took on this form. But I took it on voluntarily, with the knowledge that I would have to eschew my former habits, due to this lust for Power. Whether it is a Gift or a Curse, this all-pervading drive, I cannot say. Surely it would do to dwell a bit on the cosmic irony of this Lust or Greed overtaking me as I stand in the Realm of Madness Himself.

And it is Him that inspires the sad symphony played upon my heartstrings this morn. Sheogorath, Lord of Madness and the Twin Realms of Mania and Dementia, is lost to us, today. Not by Death - that immortal hand could never grasp the concept of this man, as it deals too much in absolutes and finalitude - but by Order, the sick kindred of all things Good and changing in this world. Life cannot exist by Order. The world itself cannot, it is antithetical to its structure! Chaos is the song of all things living, and I will have the opportunity to attest to it in my day. Madness is fundamentally the Chaos of the Mind given shape.

But I digress. I will seek his Staff out tonight, when my strength is with me, after I have had the opportunity to rest, and I will seek to carry on his Legacy as best as I can.

Even if that means facing off with the Man - or God - whom I have loved, in a way.

The way of the universe shall be done.

For the Madgod!