Author's note: this is my dear blank sincerely blank 4 Harry Potter since the movie will be coming out on July 15, 2011. I do not own anything.
Dear Edward Cullen,
You don't drink human blood, can't turn into a bat, and don't have fangs and you call yourself a vampire? How dare you!
Sincerely,
Dracula
Dear Bella,
How dare you make a mockery of my name by making it all depressed and emo, you filthy muggle!
Sincerely,
Bellatrix
Dear Voldemort,
Here are two things we have in common: we both have archenemies we want to destroy and we both want world domination. So, if you cooperate with me and help me destroy Bikini Bottom then I'll help you conquer the wizard world.
Sincerely,
Plankton
P.S. And we don't have noses!
Dear Twitards,
While we dress up for the last Harry Potter movie like actual characters, you guys will dress up as if your emo wannabes.
Sincerely,
Potter Fans
Dear Bella,
When the love of my life went away, I continued the mission for searching for horcruxes while you curled up in a ball, went insane, and tried to jump off a cliff! Now, if you excuse me I have to go now otherwise if I'm caught writing this late at night I'll be in detention because of you.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger
Dear Edward and Bella,
Our wedding was better than yours!
Sincerely,
Harry and Ginny
Dear Bellartrix,
You killed a Black but the wrong one. Because Jacob and Rebecca are still out there, and their not doing anything beneficial to this world today.
Sincerely,
Me and the Potter Fans
Dear Edward,
Because of you, people don't like me an more!
Sincerely,
Cedric Diggory
Dear Twilight,
This is how popular we are: 97% and this is how popular you are: 3%
Sincerely,
Harry Potter
Dear Jacob,
There can only be one werewolf around here!
Sincerely,
Lupin
Dear Stephanie Meyer,
Look, writing isn't for you. I think you should do a career switch and get a job as a garbage lady because you're good at dumping that stuff and calling it a book series.
Sincerely,
J.K. Rowling
Dear Bella,
He was mine before you (ugh) came.
Sincerely,
Cho Chang
Dear Twilight,
You here that? That's the sound of no body caring.
Sincerely,
Everybody
Dear Jacob,
You call yourself a werewolf? A real werewolf wouldn't be able to transform into a human at any given time and doesn't have his shirt off 24/7 even in the rain as a human.
Sincerely,
Lupin
Dear Twilight,
If you're so great, then why don't you have your own amusement park and shop?
Sincerely,
Harry Potter
,
Dear Volturri
We will rock you!
Sincerely, Ministry of Magic
Dear Twilight,
The villains that are in our book series make your villains look like Johnny Test.
Sincerely,
Harry Potter
Dear Twilight,
Roses are red, violets are blue, your creator of your saga may think your great but everyone else thinks your crap so boo hoo!
Sincerely,
Everyone Else
Dear Twilight,
Face it! You're just a fad! Yes, you were cool, at first, but then people got tired of you because of the same material and the terrible choice to pick Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Twitards (twilight fans)
Think you can write a dear blank sincerely blank fanfiction for Twilight? I like to see you try. And good luck because Twilight is old school while Harry Potter will always be classic.
Sincerely,
Me
