want to be your everything
If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel
"I heard what happened today."
Great. Exactly what you needed at the moment.
You stopped writing altogether and placed your notepad down, knowing that the vampire wouldn't leave until you indulge on her questions. Her gaze was fixed, serious. The vampire landed beside you and you tried your best not to leave, succeeding, apparently.
"There's not much to say, Marceline. You've heard about it." You laugh slightly, unable to determine why. She looked at you, confused, confounded. You don't know what she wanted to know, but you were patient. Finally, she spoke.
"Are you okay?"
You weren't expecting that. You didn't know what you were expecting from this conversation, in general. But it was calming, really, to hear those words finally today. No one bothered ask how you felt about the whole ordeal. They were all pressed-on to what Finn and Flame Princess felt. You were the bad guy in this. You "didn't want them to be together".
Sigh.
Being a ruler is hard. No one asks what you want to do because in reality, you can't have everything you want. You can only have what your duties dictate you to have. And that's what you chose, remember? Your duties?
"Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking." You tried to stifle a small smile, but it showed anyway. She was still there, and for some reason, her worried gaze never left. "Is everything okay?"
"That's what I should be asking you, Bonni." She said, all-knowing and powerful tone evident. As always. "I've been around for a thousand years. I know about the deal you had with the Flame King."
Ah, of course. Of course she knew.
"You must think of me lowly too, huh?" You tried to act as if it didn't matter; you were brought up that way. The choices you made were for your kingdom, for the Candy People. "I, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum of the Candy Kingdom, have forced the Flame King to trap her daughter in a glass cage, cursed to not love forevermore." You smiled weakly. "It's… inhumane, what I did."
"I understand why. I should, you know."
You look at her and she looked pained. At that point, you wanted to smile widely because she understands, finally! She understands why you chose your kingdom over her—
"I'm the Vampire Queen, remember?"
Oh. That's what she meant.
You wanted to leave. As soon as possible. You had a rough day, and the trip to the Fire Kingdom wasn't fruitful at all. The Flame King refuses to trap her daughter once more, and he spouted words that boggle you forever. You fear the consequences of Finn's actions, but you value his happiness as well. Finn was important to you, not because you like-like him, but because he has done so much for the Kingdom, you didn't want him to do something that would ruin himself in the process.
But will it certainly ruin him? You didn't know. No one knows.
They will find a way, the Flame King assured her.
"Bonnibel?"
You snapped back to reality.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You asked her, and by then, you realized that your hands were shaking, stopped only by Marceline's own. "Marceline…"
"I'm sorry I made you choose." Marceline apologized; sincere, sad, weak. "No, scratch that. I'm sorry I'm only apologizing now, Bonni."
"There's no need for apologies, Marceline, I completely understand." You pull your hand away; unwillingly, that is. "We were young. We were figuring out ourselves. I was bound to choose anyway, so—"
"But I should have known better!" She looked furious, but you weren't sure at whom; you or herself. "I should have known better than make you choose between two impossible things. I was—"
"being reasonable at the time, so it's okay." You tried smiling so she would be assured. "I was nearing my coming of age. I was bound to choose. It's okay—"
"It isn't!"
Her tone was raised, how distasteful for a queen, you thought.
"I should have fought for you!"
That, you admit, was something you weren't expecting. At all.
"I should have fought for us."
You could tell she was trying her best not to cry. How you weren't, at the time, you didn't know. It seemed like something you cried over for years and years, and to talk about this now, after the rough day.
No. Just no.
"But you didn't, right? So it's okay. Just leave it be." You brushed her off. "Leave me be."
"Bonni—"
"I said leave me alone!" You were screaming, not knowing what else to do to scare her off. Knowing Marceline, she was never scared. It didn't hurt to try, though. "I spent years crying about that. You have no right to bring this up ever again. Not now, not ever."
"Just let me explain—"
"I cried for you!" You finally told her, and there was a deep relief in your chest. "I told myself that choosing the kingdom would be better for everyone, including you. This was a choice I was bound to make, Marceline. I chose the kingdom because I thought you won't leave me if I do. That you'd stay even if I chose my kingdom. But what pained me that time was that you left. You left me, Marceline. You were supposed to be there for me, for better or worse!" You breathed in, knowing that your face was red in… anger? Disappointment? "I thought that if I let the Flame King do the same thing to his daughter, it would be doing the right thing. Am I wrong about this? Was I wrong about everything? Did I miscalculate the whole idea of entrapping her for eternity? That she could choose both her duties to the kingdom and love?"
She was certainly silenced by this. You didn't gave her a chance to talk, though.
"You said you loved me!"
"And I still do!"
Enough. Enough of this.
You ran back to the trail leading to your kingdom, not realizing that you were at your hiding place, the hiding place only you and Marceline knew about. Unconsciously. As if the forces of Ooo wanted you to meet there again.
As if she knew in where you'd go in the first place.
A/N: This is HEAVILY inspired by a fanart by Illeity in dArt/Tumblr entitled "Burning Low -The Aftermath-". Maybe reading that would help some of the points here make sense. But um, first time writing Bubbline. I'm more of a PG/ML myself, really. I just thought that this was something that should be written in PB's voice. I really think her opinions on the Burning Low episode were lowly acknowledged. Like, UGH, YOU GUYS, SHE HAS FEELINGS TOO.
ANYWAY, reviews are awesome and junk.
