Chap 1- So one day I was hanging out in the black velvet room from the masque of the red death, you know, like everyone does on occasion, when all of a sudden, that bitch HERMIONE walked into the room, so I shouted out "YOU BITCH I WAS HERE FIRST!" and I shot her with my really cool gun that dream killer said I couldn't have. I showed him! Then all of a sudden, that super hottie Rupert Grint a.k.a. Ron walked in the room and shouted "Oh my god you shot Hermione!" so I said "ummm, no I didn't…I'M THE NEW HERMIONE!" "Good, you're way hotter than that bitch was!" Ron said back. "I know!" I said, "CUZ I'M THE NEW HERMIONE!"
