Hi guys!

This is my first fanfic ever! I'm super excited. Please let me know what you think, and critique! But please no flames or hate. Remember, I'm just spreading my wings. This is an idea I had about Rose's thoughts on the Ninth Doctor regenerating.

Enjoy!

Maria Karenina

My Dear Rose Tyler, I Haven't Changed A Bit

She peeks through to the door, and he's still asleep. He looks so different. He says he's still the Doctor, but…what happened?

Rose sits down next to the bed and watches him sleep. He's got a lot more hair now, dark brown and all spiked up. And as much as Rose hates to admit it, she kind of….likes it that way. She remembers his eyes were a warm chocolate brown, but they're closed now. For a moment he's so still she's afraid he's not breathing and panics, but then she sees the gentle rise and fall of his chest and calms herself. You wouldn't have been afraid if he wasn't the Doctor now, would you? A little voice whispered in the back of her mind.

But she's still undecided. Sure, maybe he's still the Doctor, but he's not her Doctor. He's changed. He's not her Doctor with the blue eyes and big ears. He's not her Doctor with the big dorky grin and thinning dark hair. He's not the Doctor she knows, the Doctor who was her friend. When that thought crosses her mind, tears fill her dark brown eyes. The Doctor she knew is gone forever.

Rose tucks her blonde hair behind her ear and wishes he would wake up. He's been asleep for a day and a half now, and she's afraid there's something wrong with him. She lifts her hand to feel his heartbeat, but hesitates. Should she? But finally Rose relents to the little voice in the back of her mind and gently places her hand on his chest, over a heart, and feels its steady rhythm drumming against her fingers. She tries the other one, and yes, it's beating too. She sits back, twiddles her thumbs, and watches him for a few more minutes. Then her mothering instinct gets the better of her, and pulls another quilt over him and brushes his hair off his forehead. He sighs and fidgets a little under her touch, then settles back into a comfortable position and stays asleep.

Rose leans back in her chair and remembers all the wonderful times she's had with the Doctor. She remembers the possessed store mannequins, going millions of years into the future and watching the earth die and meeting the other life forms she never even dreamed could have existed, far more intelligent and developed than any human could have guessed. She remembers seeing a Dalek for the first time. She remembers seeing firsthand the unbridled glory of the universe, so infinitely beautiful and complex it boggled her mind. Rose remembers seeing the rich, colorful tapestry of space, spangled with twinkling light stars and far off galaxies. She remembers all the amazing things she's seen, things that no human has ever seen before. Rose wonders, with a sudden start, if she'll ever see those things again. She hopes so.

Rose curls up in her chair with a spare blanket and falls asleep wishing for something real and tangible that will prove to her, without a doubt, that this man is still the Doctor.

Some hours later, Rose is awakened by a gentle hand on her shoulder, and a foreign voice that is somehow familiar.

"Rose?"

Rose sits up with a start. She's embarrassed to be caught sleeping. "You're finally awake!"

He smiles, a deliciously charming smile. "Yes I am. And feeling quite a bit better, thanks to you."

Rose smiles back, shyly. "Well, I didn't really know what to do. I don't know that much about Time Lords."

They sit in awkward silence for a moment until Rose asks "Would you like some tea, or something to eat?"

"Earl Grey, please." Then he considers Rose with a look on his face that looks sad and wistful.

Rose stands to leave and go make the tea, but she pauses and looks at him for a minute. Sitting there, in the bed, in striped pajamas, he looks more different than ever.

"Does it bother you that much? Me changing?" He asks suddenly.

It startles Rose. "Um, well." She pauses, unsure if she should speak her mind. Finally she can't hold it in any longer and all her grief, confusion, and sadness burst out. "You're just so different! You changed, and…and…I miss you. Why'd you have to change!? And how do I really know you're still the Doctor?"

The outburst leaves her breathless, and she stares at him, awaiting his response. A tear spills over her lashes and her lip trembles.

The Doctor rises from the bed, walks to her and takes her hands gently. He wipes away the tear. His dark eyes are gentle and kind.

"Oh Rose, dear Rose. I haven't changed a bit!"

Rose frowns.

The Doctor smiles and pulls her closer. "Well, I've got new hair, I'm thinner"-Rose smiled a little- "and I've got sideburns, which I really like, but I'm still me. I'm still the Doctor. I'll always be the Doctor, no matter what I look like, you see? I'll never really change."

Relief floods Rose's mind. All along there had been a part of her that believed he was still the Doctor, but the other half of her mind kept screaming he wasn't. But now she can believe whole heartedly, without any doubt. She starts to cry because she's so happy, so relieved. The tears she's been holding in for days finally flow, a waterfall of grief and confusion and joy. The Doctor pulls her into an embrace and strokes her hair as she sobs into his chest.

Finally, after letting it all out, she looks up, and smiles. Really smiles, sweet and happy and beautiful, a look the Doctor misses seeing on her face. He smiles back. "That's better. Now, how about that tea?"

And they walk down the hall to the kitchen, hand in hand.

So, what did you think? My goal for this piece is five reviews, so please review!

I might continue this and write a series of oneshots. Let me know what you think. :) Love y'all!

~ Maria Karenina