Hey,

So, I have never written a fanfiction like this before, I'm not exactly sure why I wrote this. But I have read a few "Natsu/ Lucy dies and the other one has has to learn to live without them" stories before, and this is just a twist on those story lines and ideas. Also based loosely off of truth for someone I know.

Written listening to Kanashiki Kako

Rated T for grief


Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima


Natsu had felt pain before.

.

Slowly, the words that Porlyusica had just spoken sink in, leaving Natsu to try and comprehend what the pink haired healer had just told him. The meaning of the syllables gradually beginning to make sense; as if a fog was lifting, only to reveal a truth so horrific the Dragon Slayer would rather it be an outrageous lie. A cruel joke designed as a contemptuous derision rather than to make one muse. However, a little part of him- an instinct- already knew that it was no lie, and that fact frightened him to no end.

Nothing but a numbness takes over his body for a moment; a hollow emptiness as he reanalysis the words he heard. Rethinking, looking for a way out of the conclusion he has drawn; anything to tell him that what he has just heard is incorrect. What he has felt is wrong.

That Porlyusica is lying... She has to be lying.

.

He had been beaten and battered to within inches of his life. Thrown into walls and fallen from up high only to violently collide with the floor bellow. He had felt what it feels like to be cut and to bleed, bruised and tender after battle.

.

From beside him, Natsu suddenly hears his blond haired partner inhale sharply, the sound quickly followed by her voice.
"N-no..." She is quiet, as if she had merely breathed the words. From the corner of his eye, Natsu watches as the woman's hands raise to her lips, her limbs trembling and golden head shaking from side to side. Those doe like eyes glossy with tears that threaten to fall at any minute, wide and unblinking as she searches the old healers face. Her words crack at the end, leaving her unable to finish even a sentence. "You have to be wrong, she can't be- Please tell me she isn't..."

.

He had felt aches in his heart and stomach when he saw a member of his Nakama in pain, and stood up again regardless of his physical condition to fight whoever had hurt them. He had felt a squeezing in his chest when Igneel had left him alone, and a twist when he then thought his childhood friend had left him forever.

.

Looking away so her eyes are downcast, Porlyusica speaks again. Her old voice heavily laden with sympathy, remorse, as if she did not do enough to prevent the pairs grief. She had always claimed she hated "smelly humans", yet at this moment, the visage she often hides behind vanishes and she can feel her eyes begin to water at the obvious pain of the couple before her.

"I'm sorry, but there is no mistake. She's dead, there was nothing that could be done for her."

.

Natsu was not accustomed to the news of someone he held dear to him dying. It was an odd and unfortunate event when someone died. The pain he felt then was not ever present, but when it struck, it was almost fatal. The side effects of the torment lasting for week- months, before the pain and longing finally ebbs away. Allowing the pink haired man to breath without a suffocating weight on his chest.

.

"No..." Lucy stumbles backwards, as if Porlyusica's words have caused her a physical blow. The woman who heals been unable to heal, a woman who she trusted and did not have reasons to be deceived by.

The sound of her heart breaking is evident through the wails which are escaping the blonds lips. Her cries cause Natsu to clench his fists suddenly, a surge of anger flitting through the pink haired Dragon Slayer at the sound of Lucy's anguish. Anguish which, as unpredictable as a bolt of lightening, quickly warps into a frightening mixture of disdain and fury. "No! You're wrong! You have to be wrong, s-she can't be dead... Adenah can't be dead! She isn't! S-she- No!"

.

He knew the cold blooded dread and stabbing worry whenever Lucy had screamed in agony or been injured. The torture he felt when she cried, fuelling his determination to seek revenge on the people who had made his love shed a tear of sorrow. His ability to protect Lucy and make her safe, make her smile again, easing the pain he felt.

.

The blonds arms fly out, clipping a glass vase nearby sending it flying to it's demise at it meets the floor with a loud smashing sound. Then, as quickly as the bout of indignation had arose, it falls, in its wake leaving a quivering Lucy who's body seems to loose all strength and collapses limply onto the floor.
Shocked slightly by Lucy's sudden outburst, Natsu turns to face his mate who's face is now hot with streaming tears and cheeks as red as flames. Her hands shield her burning eyes and sobs wreck her frame as she lay doubled over on the floor.

Natsu's own anger quickly vanishes at the sight, leaving only a heavy feeling of grief and an unfamiliar tinge of emptiness in his heart. It takes a minute before his brain instructs his next moves, but when it finally does, Natsu is by Lucy's side in a flash, pulling the mourning blond into his arms which now, like hers, begin to shake.

.

It was an undeniable fact that within his twenty five years of living, Natsu Dragneel had felt pain before.

.

"I'll leave you two alone."

With those words, the pink haired healer leaves the room. The door creaking open allows in the faint whispers of the other guild members waiting nervously in the main hall, before a click is heard and all sound from outside of the room is cut out.

.

However, within those long years filled to the brim with everything form happiness to despair, red hot flashes of anger to sweet and gut coiling moments of embarrassment, the Dragon Slayer had never felt a pain so heartbreaking...

.

When the news is heard, Fairy Tail will no longer it's flamboyant self. Instead, the atmosphere will be heavy with mourning for the child of both Lucy Heartfilia and Natsu Dragneel. Once again, their sleeps will be restless- Natsu knows this, even now.

Both Fairy Tail mages simply stay tightly held in each others embrace, not saying a word to each other. The sounds of pain filled crying echoes around the room, ragged breathing and sniffs of snotty noses.

An excruciating pain and feeling of torment squeezes Natsu's heart tightly, his breaths uneven due to his distress. The harrowing feeling and sounds of Lucy weeping cause him to hug the blond closer to his body, the irrational fear that if he lets go of her then she will also disappear, plagues his mind. He is determined to be strong, hold in his tears and screams of resent to the world inside, all for Lucy's sake. So she may stop crying- he hates it when she cries.

.

So devastating...

.

Finally, the silence is broken by the croaky voice of the blond, her words muffled by the scarf Natsu wears around his neck, where her face is buried from the world.

"Adenah can't be gone, Natsu..."

Lucy's breaking voice and the ever dawning realization that the beautiful child both Natsu and Lucy love dearly is gone, pricks tears in Natsu's eyes. As she speaks her next words, Lucy's fingers grip tighter into Natsu's clothes to keep at bay another crying fit the blond can feel arising. But to no avail as the tears begin to overflow once more.

"...Our daughter can't be dead-"

.

So utterly destroying...

.

The words shatter Natsu's walls and the welled tears flood down his face.

It is time to accept it, regardless of how much the Dragon Slayer begged for there too be a mistake, there is not one. Lucy's daughter, his daughter, died. And there was nothing he could have done to save her.

"It- It'll be okay... Lucy."

Natsu himself, however, believes that statement to be nothing more than a lie. An empty promise. Resent filling him at his deception towards the woman he loves most in this world- but he would do anything to make Lucy's pain end, including loathing himself.

"She was so beautiful." Lucy's words are little more than whispers; almost inaudible, but Natsu hears them. Her violent attack of tears and screams have ended, leaving the Celestial Mage a weary mess in her husbands arms, tears still streaming down her face, but she cannot feel them irritate her sensitive skin for her extremities, her being, feels numb. "When she was born, I thought she would look like me... I was a spitting image of my mother, s- so I thought she would be too." Sniffing, she laughs slightly, a small smile pulling on her lips at the fond memories of her child. "But she didn't.. She was so much more beautiful... She looked like you, her hair- pink! But creamier an- and your nose, but my face... And her eyes-"

"Where as breathtakingly brown as yours."

Finishing Lucy's sentence, Natsu embraces her tighter. His hand strokes through her golden hair, it's softness almost bringing him comfort in amongst the chaos which now is their world. His own tears soaking Lucy's locks as he quietly whimpers, breaking down inside until he can't feel his heart any more. Grieving into his mates arms as he had begged himself not to do.

.

This pain, it almost led him into a darkness he very nearly wished to hide in, away from the world. To smoother his pain in the abyss and inhabit it. But the light saved him, the ethereal light from the heart of the person he had vowed his existence too.

.

Another long rein of deafening silence warped the room, holding captive the inhabitance as time ran by. The mid day sun which had once filled the sky had long since vanished into a horizon of deep purples and shocking red. Now, even those colours are diminished, faded into a deep black with no breaks of diamond light from stars which hide. No one had disturbed the pair since Porlyusica had left the room.

Finally, the quiet was broken by Lucy once more as she emerges from Natsu's scarf. Her eyes reddened and face puffy, as she looks into Natsu's face, equally evident that he had been crying. However, on Lucy's face a small smile pulls at her lips, her words lighter than they had been earlier.

"I can hear her voice, Natsu."

"Lucy?.."

"We will always... Always hear her voice, Natsu. She will always be with us... In our hearts-"

Last words before she collapses from exhaustion, slumping into Natsu's arms, her head taking rest against the crook of his neck. The darkness enveloping the room is only broken by thin streams of wiry, silver light painting the floor boards and his lovers exhausted body.

The only sounds are her soft breathing and calm heart beat, finally settled after hours of erratic beating.

Smell, her soft vanilla scent now mixed with his own ashy aroma after she became his mate. The hints of sweet vanilla a smell their child had inherited, but her own.

After a long while of Lucy's steady heartbeat and quiet breaths, the pink haired man- still as distraught and in anguish as his wife in his arms- smiles slightly. The pain still there, but for a moment, lessened. As if a wash of warmth more brilliant than his fire overtakes him.

A single tear trails down his face, this one is different. This time he is smiling.

Can you hear me, daddy?

"Yes, Adenah. I can hear you."

.

But never once did Natsu ever believe that he would feel a pain so terrible, so soul destroying, that he would never be able to recover from the injury. That his smile would never tug at the corner of his lips again, or a laugh would never erupt from his mouth. No, he had always learnt that time heals all wounds, no matter how long it may take. That we all carry scars, physical or mental, but we all survive- somehow.

We all live on.

We all smile again eventually.


Adenah- (The name used for Natsu and Lucy's daughter) is a female name of Hebrew origin meaning fire. As well as, delicate and soft

R&R

Feathers~