Story from Facebook

Once there was a girl named Pam, who went to the magical land where there was a cute Pachycephalosaurus dressed as a giant banana. It ate her, then it went to the park and saw a talking lion cub. The talking lion, which is very big and squishy, was Rumbleroar's cub and loved Mars. He doesn't like Draco the little poofer who wears big poofy diapers, and is scared of nerds and girls and potties, because he is part house elf, very shy, and worried about his daddy who doesn't like the way he can't dance. Draco wishes he could boogie like Voldemort and his awesome Death Eaters. After drinking Squirt, they were all still very thirsty so they shouted,

"Just stay dehydrated unless you want Hermione Granger and a big rocket ship to lick your ticking sandwich that was made by one sexy beautiful Severus Snape and his magical giant slide and soft talking scarf, which is really not a hat, but a very important part of the sorting at the magical school of witchcraft."

And he decided to jump around crazily because he had too much sugar, but he really liked sugar. So he couldn't stop eating it, but he finally exploded into a really big, blue berry full of bubbles, water, and juice. However, it was not as good as the purple penguin that Willy Wonka would have made. Nobody knew it because it's a tiny talking turtle, but that turtle wore some blue and white pants with a tie that had stripes which is really not good for the other turtles who didn't have anything to wear.

The other turtles are not very happy about this so they decided to hunt down Pam, so they found the Pachycephalosaurus and decided to make him barf. So they got Pam back covered with some yellow and black goo and took her back to their place to get water and soap to wash the goo off Pam, but they forgot how to walk so Pam decided to carry them so they can move faster to their friend who was named Squirrel.

But the squirrel was not available because she is in a meeting with the president of the pond. And they talked for hours about absolutely nothing important. But they still thought the meeting was completely worth all their time. But their friends thought the squirrel was working on something with the evil badgers of the pond to take over the magic schools flying power so they grabbed some swords and planned to rid the world, but they remembered the world was in another galaxy so they don't know how to get to the far, far, far side of the far away galaxy.

But Pam has a large rocket, a rare idea, and crazy pants and she screamed because she saw Robert and Taylor hanging upside down, which made her want to save Robert first so she pulled him down, but then she tripped on a rock and tumbled into a person and she laughed really hard, and turned around to see who it was and a giant trampoline appears in front of a person who was sparkly. Pam screamed because they blinded her. That person looked way too shiny, so she put her starkid glasses on so she can see the person and was terrified because she knows he is a vampire and he will bite her because the person was Jasper Hale.

Pam was scared, so she jumped back and into another vampire who is tiny and had very red balloons in her hand which she handed to the wizard who was talking to the squirrel and turtles who looked like they were confused because someone had tried to knock down the vampire. But they only hit them with special sleep gas, a piece of metal pipe, and a bit of rotten Swiss cheese. But the vampire loved the cheese and ate it until he felt really super tired but he also wanted to look out the window for his other friends who left to go back to his own magical land of unicorns and rainbows where he lived happily ever after. That's the end…or is it!