A/N) I'm on a story dump y'all. This...was gonna be smut. It somehow turned sort of cracky and didn't get dirty. Honestly, I had so much fun giving Sheik this kind of sexual predator and blunt kind of personality. I mean he's calm and cool on the outside, but on the inside his mind is absolutely horrible. I'm actually getting into this pairing but every "Shike" story I see is female Sheik. I don't care what anyone thinks or says, Sheik is a boy in my mind. Therefore, he is a boy in this story, which makes this Yaoi. Worse thing they do is get kissy. And Sheik says a few lewd things. So enjoy.

I don't own Super Smash Brothers. Let's be grateful to that. It gives me so many excuses to ship so many things!

I had been watching him for a long time. The way he moved on the battlefield was mystifying. Everything about him was beautiful, those blue eyes, along with that matching hair, made me weak in the knees. But he had feelings for another. He was gay, and even though I was a boy, I was trapped in the body a female.

Until the next tournament.

Master Hand announced that I would have my own full body, and separate character. I was so delighted. But I knew it wouldn't matter, because my crush still gave his heart to another.

It was hard coming back to see all the fighters. There he was, bulging muscles, and my goddess, he was beautiful. Especially, when he sauntered over to me. Biceps rippling with each step. Be still my beating heart. I for once, was thankful for my face being covered, and my ability to keep my eyes disinterested.

"Congratulations on having your own body this year l, Sheik." Ike said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Ike. I'm very excited to show others how different from Zelda I really am."

He chuckled, and it sounded like music. I could feel heat creeping up in my cheeks but luckily he couldn't see it "well I look forward to seeing it." He said before walking away.

I sighed and shakily walked over to Zelda and Link, my two companions. I couldn't get wrapped up in Ike. I can't intrude upon a relationship he had with Marth.

But I would get my chance, when Roy came back to the fight.

Everybody would have been stupid not to see during melee, Marth and Roy were a thing. So Marth, heartlessly dumped Ike, and I know it was wrong, but I wanted to pick up the pieces.

Ike stopped training, stopped participating, he was heart broken, and it was sad. He finally came to dinner one day, and I made my move. I climbed into the seat next to him at a bench.

"Hey Ike. How are you?" I asked, as if I didn't know.

He sat slumped over dinner poking at it disinterestedly "Hey Sheik. I'm sure you heard about what happened."

Everyone had heard what had happened, but I didn't want to just blurt that out. I'm an assassin, and have more tact than that "Hey, don't let it get you down. You are a healthy strapping man. You can find someone else in no time." I decided against commenting on his bulging biceps, and ripped abdomen. Trying to be nice, not creepy.

"I know he liked Roy for a long time, but he gave up everything we had, for a guy he hasn't seen in forever. It's just not fair."

Well, life isn't fair, but that's besides the point "Well no use crying over spilled milk. Time to move on, Ike. Take out your aggression by training, dating." Having sex...with people...like me.

"Thanks Sheik. You're a great friend."

Oh Goddess. He said it...friend. I can't handle this friend zone anymore. The hero already put me there, I can't do this again "Yeah, thanks. Uhm, I'm available...to train with, I mean. If you want, of course."

"That sounds great. Uhm, can I ask a question?" He looked at me with curious blue eyes.

"You just did, but if you mean another one, yes."

"You always come to meals, but you always sit around talk, and leave. I never see you eat. I mean, when you were with Zelda she ate, but now you don't."

"Very observant. It's silly. I know this isn't Hyrule, but I pack up my food and eat in my room. Maybe I should uncover my face. "

He began nodding frantically "you should! You should."

Oh, I feel a wicked scheme coming on "Oh no! I'm horribly ugly. I shouldn't uncover my face." Engage Operation- get Ike super interested in me.

Ike smirked "I doubt that. You have such lovely eyes. No way you're hiding an ugly face." He reached up his hand.

I swiftly batted it away "Quit it. You make me blush."

"All the more reason to take it off."

Oh sweet innuendo. I mean I know he's hiding a monster in his pants, but you don't see me yanking those off...well not yet anyways.

We somehow wound up wrestling with each other. Ike desperately reaching for my cowl, and me having to use every bit of my flexibility and athletics to keep him away. I managed to shift under his legs, and before he realized it, I sat down on his back. And held steady as he fell down.

"Oof! Sheik! You are heavier than you look!" He said.

"Hey! That's rude!" I bounced on him, and heard his back pop

"Oh sweet gods, do that again!" He moaned.

That sent heat through my body, and couldn't deny that request. I bounced again, hearing it pop again. he let out another breathy moan, and my skin tight suit was unbearably hot now. I stood up, and offered a hand to him. He looked up at me, and took my hand. I hauled him up, and before I could blink, his arm was around my waist and I was pulled flush against his chest. How does he move so fast? While disoriented, I felt cool air hit my bare face. Wait! Bare face! I looked up with wide eyes to see Ike smiling triumphantly at my cowl in his hand. He then turned towards me, and he gasped. I started blushing when he put a shaky hand on my cheek

"Gods Sheik...you're beautiful."

How do you respond to that? This guy I've crushed on for years and two tournaments is telling me I'm beautiful. I did the one thing I'm good at, running. I grabbed a deku nut, and in a flash I was in my room.

I covered my face with my hand, and could feel the heat radiating from me cheeks. I didn't know what to do. Ike saw my face, had my cowl, said I was beautiful, and I ran away! What kind of idiot am I really? I considered going back, but now this was a matter of pride. I couldn't face him again after that. I sighed, and just fell face first into my bed.

"Sheik!" Someone began knocking on my door "I know you're in there. Come on, let me in."

I froze, it was Ike. How could he be so sure I was in here?

"Sheik! Fine, I'm coming in." He yelled.

I whipped around and saw my door was unlocked right before he traipsed right into my room. I flipped my body, and pushed myself back against the headboard of my bed. My face still blazing in embarrassment.

He closed the door behind him, and then crossed his arms after throwing my cowl at my feet "Why did you run?" He asked.

"I...I don't really know." I took a shaky breathe "I have liked you for a really long time. And I just...well I panicked."

He uncrossed his arms, and got onto my bed, crawling up to me like a predator. My breathing quickened, along with my heart. His eyes were glinting with something akin to mischief. I didn't know what to do, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine.

Dear Goddesses they are so soft.

I surrendered my mouth to him. Kissing back with vigor, and opening my mouth to his seeking tongue. It was amazing. I placed my hands on his chest, feeling those taut pectorals covered by fabric.

He pulled back. Those intense blue eyes looking into my own red

"Sheik, will you be my boyfriend?" he asked.

I scoffed "I'm not kissing you for my health."

"I just wanted to make if official." He said while scratching the back of his head.

"Fine. Yes I'll be your boyfriend, Ike. You made we wait long enough."

He claimed my lips again, and this time, we weren't stopping at first base.


On the other side of the closed door was a group of female smashers holding hands over their noses when the moans started. Peach, who had flushed cheeks, and was holding a rapidly staining handkerchief around her nose just looked at the others standing there and declared "Well, it's about time!"

The other girls couldn't help but nod in agreement.