Everything is dialogue, italics is for Sauron, normal is the sorting hat.


So, Sauron,

Lord Sauron, and it's not Sauron, it's Mairon

…

So, Sauron, where shall I put you? Shall it be in Gryffindor? Do you have courage, chivalry and daring? Shall it be in Hufflepuff? Are you loyal and hardworking? Or perhaps Ravenclaw, if you have wisdom and see knowledge. Or should I put you in Slytherin? Where belong cunning and ambition.

Yes

Now, don't get ahead of yourself. That was rhetorical, I shall be doing the sorting here, not you.

Where shall I start…

I tried to take over the world, you don't get much more ambitious than that.

You weren't supposed to answer that! But, I suppose that is as good place as any, so yes, I will start there. Trying to rule the world is good for your ambition ratings, however you took your time about starting to try. You spent an age serving Morgoth first. An age! And you showed some loyalty until fear made you go to self preservation. If you had tried to depose him, or had gone freelance as a dark lord, then you would have been sure of Slytherin, but as it is, you have a fair amount of Slytherin points from that but we must look further.

Do you know what is involved in trying to take over the world apart from ambition? Don't answer that. Do you? There is a lot of hard work. So I must give you some points towards being put in Hufflepuff.

I'd be better in Slytherin than Hufflepuff, after all, I made the rings, that's pretty cunning.

I never said anything about which would be better. The rings? Cunning? Perhaps, in the way they were designed, and in making the ring wraiths, but that's not the only thing they are. Taking on a large personal risk to advance your cause? That's not cunning. That's something a Gryffindor might do.

Don't put me in Gryffindor!

There's little risk of that. You would fit poorly, even if Godric were willing to take you. Continuing from where I left off, a Hufflepuff might also do that. It took some intelligence to make the rings, so that is a little towards Ravenclaw. You failed to see that anyone might destroy the one ring, so that loses you your Ravenclaw point, and is not so good for Slytherin.

Now, to sort you. Gryffindor is out. Godric doesn't want you and you are a poor fit, no chivalry, little heroics. For Ravenclaw, you have some knowledge, but you apply it poorly and do not much seek more, so that is out. It is between Hufflepuff and Slytherin.

I am ambitious and cunning. Slytherin, or I will destroy you.

No need to be hasty Sauron. I have a question for you, Mr Ambitious And Cunning. Is it better for a dark lord to be surrounded by others who would seek to take what you have made or by loyal followers. Answer me that and then tell me where you want to go.


A/N: This story came about when I did a piece of embroidery with Sauron's name on in Cirth (Dwarf Runes) in black and yellow without thinking of Hufflepuff. When I notice and was talking to a friend about it she said there should be a fic with a Hufflepuff Sauron, which ended up as a challenge to see if I could get Sauron into Hufflepuff, which took some carefully selecting the right bits of what he did and the right interpretations.