A Day in the Life of a Core

Volume 1

Theo Telshalla and Anonymous

UCFC= Un-corrupted Fact Core

FC= Facepalm Core

UCFC: Fact: The Facepalm Core can only say three words: 'Facepalm', 'Oh', and 'No'.
FC: Facepalm.
UCFC: Fact: The cake is a lie.
FC: Facepalm.
UCFC: Fact: If Wheatley were to be classified as a living thing, his genus would be 'Moron'.
FC: Facepalm.
UCFC: Fact: The corrupted fact core helped with getting Wheatley out of GLaDOS' body.
FC: Facepalm.
UCFC: Fact: GLaDOS has no use for you.
FC: Facepalm.
UCFC: Fact: Nine out of ten scientists agree that Aperture Science is better than Black Mesa.
GLaDOS: Don't you dare...
FC: nonononononononono Facepalm.
GLaDOS: That's it...
*GLaDOS moves the Facepalm Core's rail so that the Facepalm Core is over the incinerator*
UCFC: Fact: The Facepalm Core is about to get incinerated.
FC: Facepalm
Announcer: Preparing to drop Facepalm Core in three
FC: Facepalm
Announcer: Two
FC: Facepalm
Announcer: One
FC: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Announcer: Dropping Facepalm Core.
*Facepalm Core comes off of its rail*
FC: Faaaaaaaaacepaaaaaaaaaalm!
*Facepalm Core is a foot away from the incinerator*
UCFC: Fact: The Facepalm Core provides comic relief at Aperture. Only eight out of ten scientists would then agree that Aperture is better than Black Mesa.
*GLaDOS closes incinerator*
*Facepalm Core falls on top of the incinerator and rolls onto the floor.*
FC: Facepalm
GLaDOS: I'm going to regret this...
FC: Facepalm
GLaDOS: I regret it already...
UCFC: Fact: Wheatley is coming this way.
FC: Oh no... Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm...
UCFC: Fact: The Un-corrupted Fact Core is agreeing with the Facepalm Core.
GLaDOS: *mumbles* Morons...