Lost and Alone
I was walking around the Rukongai with a vaguely familiar pinch in my abdomen. I pushed it to the furthest corner of my mind while I looked for a place to sleep.
When I woke up, that "pinch" from last night was almost unbearable. I stood up and almost collapsed from the agony. I slowly limped while clutching my stomach to a pathway where I hoped that someone would help me ease my pain. No one came. As the sun rose over me, I fell to my knees, then I felt my head hit the dirt. The next moment everything was black.
I remember a sweet smell passing by my nose every couple of seconds. My eyes snapped open, and I saw a wrinkly thing that's smell made my mouth water. My hand shot up, grabbed it, and shoved it in my mouth. A sweet flavour danced on my tongue and ran down my throat and I looked at where it came from to see if there was more. A small boy with ragged clothing, pale skin, silver hair, closed eyes, and an almost foolish grin on this face stood before me.
"Do ya have anywhere ta stay tonight?"The boy questioned."It's quite dangerous ta stay alone here, some of the people ain't too kind to pretty young girls like you"
I blushed and replied, "No, I don't"
"Ya could live with me, I found an abandoned house that is quite nice."
"T-thanks..."
"The name's Gin, Ichimaru Gin, what's yours?"
"Matsumoto Rangiku"
He extended his hand down to me, his smile seeming to grow bigger. I put my dirty hand gently onto his and he gently enclosed it.
"Come, Rangiku-chan"he beckoned.
I woke up to a flash of bright white light and a thunderous bang. I started awake and instantly began panting and shivering. A warm body beside me stirred and sat up. It rested a hand on my trembling shoulder which made me jump. Another flash of lightning came and I looked at who's hand was on me: Gin.
"Ran-chan...?"Gin whispered questioningly with worry threaded into his voice.
I took a deep breath in and replied with all the happiness that I could muster,
"I'm alright Gin-kun, I just don't like thunderstorms very much"
"Are you sure? You seemed pretty shaky a minute ago."Gin said without his accent.
"Yep! I just hope you don't think I'm a baby or anything."
"Don't ya worry 'bout that Ran-chan." I imagined him with his signature smile planted on his face
"I'll protect you forever"Once the last word left his mouth, I felt a weird sincerity in this voice. By the time we had finished talking, the storm had passed. I fell asleep instantly with his warm presence beside me, but soon the bed was cold again.
When I woke, it was still dark out. A light haze had begun to grow on the horizon signifying sunrise.
"Gin-kun?"I spoke when I noticed the lack of his warm presence in the room.
"Maybe he went to the washroom..." I thought to myself. I slowly got up and walked to the room that we called the washroom. I saw the two rusty buckets, the shard of a mirror, and the tiny window.
"But no Gin" My heart started to beat faster and faster as my anxiety grew. I slinked to the window and peered out. There were no shadows in the shape of him or any figures lurking in the forest. I hadn't realized that I had started to cry until my thin kimono was sopping wet. I went back to the bed and lay down, my tears were uncontrollable tonight. I slipped into a light sleep to wait for Gin.
When the sun had almost broken the horizon, and my eyes had almost run dry, Gin appeared, waking me from my slumber. He was wearing a black kimono and blood had been splattered on his pale face. He looked at me with that same expression and told me,
"I will become stronger Rangiku-chan. I'm going to be a shinigami so you won't have to cry anymore."
I stared at him in disbelief as he slowly turned and walked away. I felt a warm tear create a path down my cheek before I screamed.
"GIN,"I screamed as loud as possible
"COME BACK!"
He looked over his shoulder, saw her crying and fully turned towards her. "Oh no"he muttered under his breath. His composure was slipping from his firm grasp.
I saw him cock his head to the side and frowned. A second later he responded,
"Ran-chan, I'm doing this for you, so please don't be sad."he waited a while before continuing. "I promised I would protect you, didn't I?"
It took me a second to register that his accent had vanished, which scared me more than him leaving me. I made a noise in between a sob and a hicccup, the result of holding in my tears for so long. Gin briefly opened his eyes revealing his gorgeous turquoise irises.
"At least I will always remember them."I thought to myself. While I had been imagining his eyes, he had disappeared. Again.
The next time I saw him, I had just joined the Academy. I was frantically walking to my next class,(I'm usually late for my morning classes) when I decided to take a route that was possibly shorter. My eyes were set on my mini map of the school, making sure I didn't take a wrong turn when I bumped into someone. I looked up at the victim mid-sentence.
"I'm sor-"I paused when I recognized the face
"Gin-kun?"I asked for reassurance that my prediction was correct.
"Rangiku-chan"He said with his eyes open, as if to reassure himself.
Before his lovely eyes closed, I saw a faint touch of longing and pain as he stared at me. Just as quickly as he had come, he had disappeared into the crowd. I was shocked and happy and... sad. I ran to my next class hoping the steady flow of tears would stop before the class started. It did, but my face was puffy and red, I did not look up, or answer any questions. I glanced at the clock, just as the bell rang and decided to skip school for the day. I couldn't handle the pain. No. Not again.
I looked at the ceiling as if it would help me concentrate on all the kido incantations that I needed to memorize. The only thing that I could focus on was my brief encounter with Gin the day before and my loneliness. As if an angel had heard my thoughts, a tentative knock rapped on my door. I stood up, put on a forced smile and opened the door.
"Hey Re-" I stopped. It was not Ren, my only friend at the Academy.
"Gin-?"
"Rangiku,"He paused before continuing. "I see ya have joined me in the academy."He paused again. "I presume ya have made a few friends, considerin' ya were in the middle of pronouncin' another person's name."
"I've made a few" I lied. Ren was the only one.
Gin leaned against the door frame showing his newly gained physique. His kimono, in school colours, was probably a bit too small. I felt a flash of heat across my face and looked away quickly. We stood there silently for a couple of awkward seconds until I invited him in for a cup of tea.
Even though his eyes appeared to be closed, I knew he was staring at me. I rolled my eyes, smirking at his old habit, and took another sip of tea. His grin increased, he had seen what I had done.
"Rangiku..."He whispered.
He proceeded to open one eye, then the other right after each other with his eyes crossed making an expression that always made me laugh and loosen up. I tried to ignore him but his persistent gaze was so silly and out of character, I started to giggle. Once I had stopped, I looked at him again, but he was no longer there. I felt a gentle poke on my left shoulder and spun around. He wasn't there. I felt another poke, on my right shoulder this time. He wasn't there either.
"Had he already learned flash step?" As I was thinking, I had backed into the far corner of the room, eliminating his options of attack. That was a mistake. I started to scan the room when his face suddenly appeared in front of mine. One arm was over top of my head and his other was by my waist. He was leaning toward me with a new look on his face: no smile and eyes open. His eyes shut, one of his hands closed on my head, and the other slithered to the small of my back. He leaned in and touched his flower-petal soft lips to mine. I shivered and stepped into him, deepening the kiss. With my new confidence, I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pushed me to the wall and leaned against me. My lips were smashed against he moaned in pleasure. We were pressed together, hip to hip, chest to chest, mouth to mouth, pouring our lonely and hurt souls into each other. Our feeble attempt to become one entity.
"Ran-gi-ku-chaaaaaaaaan!"Ren sang as she entered Rangiku's small dorm. Ren had spiky black hair with bangs framing her face. She was short and had blue-grey eyes, she was always moving and loved chocolate. She was also at the top of her class. Ren and Rangiku were friends since they both started at the Academy. They were always welcome in each others dorm without knocking. Ren stepped in and scanned the room for Rangiku.
"Is, she passed out drunk again?"Ren thought.
"Usually she would have acknowledged me by now..." Ren soon found where her friend was hiding though.
Not passed out drunk. Not sick in the bathroom. She was in the corner with a silver-haired boy, obviously they were not paying any attention to her because their eyes were shut and their lips were locked. A name popped into her head. Gin Ichimaru.Tall, silver hair... it all fit together. This guy was a fox, cunning, and had a weird expression, that showed no emotion at Ren, she tiptoed over to the boy, Gin, and gently poked his right shoulder. She had to outstretch her whole arm in order to reach up there, but it did its job. His body tensed and he blurred and stopped at the door.
"Wow, a multi-step shunpo, we were taught a single step in class, did he figure out how to do one on his own?" Ren thought as she spun to see him leave. His face was a mixture of pain and longing.
"For Rangiku?.." Ren wondered. Ren turned again and looked at Rangiku, she was leaning on the wall with both cheeks flushed scarlet and her eyes were staring at Gin. Rangiku finally noticed Ren and waved at her enthusiastically.
One second I was in a corner with Gin's sweet lips on mine, and the next, I was kissing air. I opened my eyes to see Gin mid-shunpo toward the door. I was confused for a moment until I saw Ren standing in front of me. She must have poked him or something...
Ren spoke quietly. "Hi Rangiku, was that Gin Ichimaru?"
"Yea, I had bumped into him earlier, and he just came by to say hello..."
"That was a pretty intense 'hello'"Ren retorted, jokingly. "How do you know him?"
"Well... he is the guy who I spent my time in the Rukongai with, and I haven't seen him in eons, so..."I casually left my sentence hanging. Ren was silent for a moment, then spoke up.
"Gin Ichimaru... he won the kido award, the one where I got a measly second place." Ren pouted. "That award was supposed to be mine!" She said in mock anger.
"Wow! I knew he was smart, but I gad no idea that he would strive so much just to keep a childish promise..."Rangiku muttered to herself.
"What promise?"Ren asked as the curfew bell rung.
Rangiku sighed, and said to Ren
"That's curfew, you don't want to be caught in the halls, do you?"
"Right."Ren answered. She yawned and waved goodbye.
"Sayonara"
"Sayonara, Ren-chan"
Ren walked off pondering about the mysterious promise.
I now wake up with a familiar feeling that I have not felt since his murder. My heart and soul sink at the memory of his cruel death and I start to scream. Shuhei, the kind soul, has been watching over me for the past year. It has been hard on both of us. I sometimes wake up screaming, like this morning, and hear Shuhei running into my room to soothe me. He picks up the picture on my bedside table, and let's me look at it until I calm down. Ren took it in spring, right when the cherry blossoms were blooming. In the image we were sitting in the emerald grass. Gin was softly kissing my cheek, blushing, and I sat staring at the cherry blossoms with bright eyes and a huge smile on my face. Gin's eyes were open and you could see the sky blue irises. This picture was perfect. I knew Gin wouldn't want me to keep too many momentos of him because then, I would never be able to move on.
I remember the day that Ren gave this to me as if it were yesterday. I was helping her pack all her belongings to be sent the Royal Guard chambers, when she came across this picture. I remembered the day, but not getting our picture taken. She said she snuck one in because we looked so cute and cuddly. She found a frame and handed it to me. When I arrived back at her Squad barracks she had left. I ran to the Senkaimon and saw her step inside. She looked back and smiled at me before she left for good.
Years later, I look at the picture on my desk. I have a whole stack of paperwork to get through, but my focus is elsewhere. I get up and lie on the couch, still staring at the picture. Captain Hitsugaya walks in and opens his mouth to yell at me to get back to work, but once he sees the picture in my hands, he sighs. He walked away and I shut my eyes. A tear slid down my cheek as I started dreaming about my two best friends. Both of whom were lost to me.
