Two Days

By: Ashlee

Disclaimer: Donald Bellisario owns them, not me. I just like playing with their emotions. I say there's nothing wrong with using other people to make you feel better, especially when they're fictional!!

Author's Note: It's been a rather sucky day, so I thought I'd write a little something to get out some of my frustrations. I started this at…uh…1:22pm Pacific Time and finished it at 2:08pm on June 2, 2002. If there are some inconsistencies just remember I have the right to use suspension of disbelief, okay?

Rating: PG-13 for over use of the F-word oh no!

Spoilers: Boomerang

Archiving: Ex Libris is fine, but other than that let me know first, please. I just need to know where they are, I'm a little over protective of my stories.

Feedback: Duh, it's what sustains me

Category/Keywords: Harm angst/unresolved anger, Mic and Mac bashing.

Summery: Harm feels hurt when Mac doesn't give him the time he needs.

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Two days, two fucking days since that ferry and she's already practically engaged to that pompous ass. I can't believe she did that to me, I said I needed some time, not necessarily a lot, but I needed to think this out. I mean how would it have affected our friendship? What about work? If this didn't work out we could both end up in a position that we didn't want to be in. There were so many things to consider, what was I supposed to do? Jump in and make a serious decision that would affect both me and the one person that I care the most about in the spur of the moment? I do love her, with all of my heart, but saying that without considering the consequences? That would have, hands down, been the dumbest thing that I ever did.

So I went to my hotel room to think about it, I did some online research to see about the Naval Code in this area, if there was anyway to get around it, hell I even considered calling the Admiral. In the end I decided that when we got back I would go talk to someone about it and see how we could work this thing out. I had long ago decided that I loved her and the chance to be with her was well worth the risk of loosing our friendship should this thing not work out. Now it was just a matter of smoothing out the technicalities that came with two high ranking officers working in the same office having a relationship, and I was hell bent on solving that ASAP, but noooooo, I didn't even get the chance.

When I got to the airport I was planning on telling her about my plan and what my research had discovered, but then there she was with *him* hanging on him, a ring on her finger. I nearly passed out, two fucking days since I had talked to her and she had moved onto another guy, a man I hated with a passion? What the hell, what the bleeding hell, was that? Apparently she wasn't looking for love, but a commitment with the first man that would take her. And there she was hanging on him, cooing "Oh Mic". I wanted to throw up, I wanted to hit something, I wanted to scream and yell and ask her what the hell had changed in the last forty-eight hours that caused this one-eighty. But most of all I wanted to die. My heart dropped and I didn't understand what I had done. I just wanted time to sort out the details. Hell, she should have been proud that I didn't take this situation as lightly as I tended to take others. I wanted things to be perfectly ironed out for her.

Sitting on this plane with her sitting next to me is hard, I even switched seats with the Admiral so I didn't have to sit right next to her. I can't stand to look at her right now. It makes me sick to think how easily she switched from one man to another without even really taking time to consider it. There's something called self respect. I mean really, I know that I get into meaningless relationships and that sometimes I don't think about the consequences of my actions but I have *never* played someone like she did me. I look over at her and see a stupid ass grin on her face and I turn and look right back out the window. The audacity, the complete lack of consideration, the…I don't even know, but doesn't it bother her at all what she did to me? The grin on her face tells me no.

For a split second it occurs to me that she might have done this to make me jealous, to make me make a move, but then I realize what a stupid idea that is. All it did was piss me off and make me want to pull away. I'm not going to step in and break up something she obviously thought was a good idea. Fuck that, because then she would blame me all over again and I wasn't about to deal with that. No she can have him, hell she deserves him. Those two can grin stupidly at one another all they want, see if I care. Besides if she's willing to change her mind in two seconds about whether or not she wants to be with me it's not even worth me making a move and going and checking these things out because as soon as I do she'll probably find another Mic Brumby to drool over and dump my ass just like she did. No sir, if she wants me she can make her move, until then screw the whole lot of them.

I turn and look back out the window, resting my head on the wall of the airplane. I hope there's a lot of turbulence, that'll wipe that damn happy grin right off of her face. I don't have to look to know that the Admiral is feeling uncomfortable. I'm probably pretty obviously pissed off, though I have become pretty good at hiding my feelings behind a blank look, and Mac is so happy that it's fucking nauseating. This trip would be a whole lot easier if she would just look like she had a little guilt in her, but she doesn't. I hope she's happy, real goddamn happy.

I suddenly realize just how much power I am letting her have over me. No way, there is no way that I am going to let her know how much this bothers me. Hell, that's probably half of the reason she's smiling. She had both me and Brumby drooling over her, and she can dangle one in front of the other and get twice the attention. Fuck that. No way am I going to be her play thing, she isn't going to mess with my emotions anymore. I will act normal around her, act like her stupid decision doesn't bug me and then we'll see, but I refuse to be her emotional play thing anymore. I sit up straighter, with a plan in place I feel much better, still angry, but at least I have a plan of action. I grin and can only imagine the Admirals confusion and feel even better knowing that she's made both of our beds, and now she'll have to lie in it.