Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. The plot points and ideas in this fic also don't belong to me.
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Art by Jebbiepinka
Helga's Room
Sophomore Year - September
"You don't even know anything about me!" Helga shouted at her father.
"That's not true." Bob pleaded, trying to keep peace. He was trying to placate her. He thought she should just be okay with the way things were. "I know everything about you." He expected her to just do what Patakis do, bury their feelings and never talk about them.
Helga wasn't going to let the blowhard get away with it. He thrived on the status quo. She walked right up to him and stuck her finger into his chest. He was still five inches taller than she was at 15, but that made her pretty tall for a teenage girl.
"Oh yeah? What's my middle name, Bob?" Helga seethed.
"It's-" Miriam started.
"Don't you fucking help him!" Helga shouted.
Miriam looked down and took a big gulp of her 'smoothie'. Today was the one time she wasn't passed out on the couch. She usually drank all day to completely check out of her life. She probably had no idea what day of the week it was, much less even what month.
"I know what it is." Bob explained. "It starts with a J."
"Oh Bob..." Miriam hit her face with her palm and took another gulp of her drink.
"It's..." He looked down at Helga's legs. "Jean." Unbelievable.
"Jean? Because I'm wearing jeans?" Helga couldn't take it anymore. "It's Geraldine! With a G!"
"See, I was close."
"You're the biggest asshole I know!"
"Oh yeah, and you're a real peach."
"I'm leaving!"
"Ha! I'd like to see that."
Helga gave Bob one last death-stare and stomped up the stairs to her room.
She retrieved two large suitcases from the hall closet and started filling them with her stuff. One suitcase was quickly filled with clothes and bathroom stuff. She put her books, laptop, and various other things in the second.
It wasn't quite full. She had to leave room for her 'Arnold' stuff. The shrine wouldn't fit, but she did have an entire box of pictures, poems, and stuff that reminded her of him.
Her favorite thing in the world was one of Arnold's shirts. He thought he had lost it when their group of friends went to the beach over the summer. Helga had snuck it into her bag. Since then, she slept with it every night, sometimes wearing it, sometimes cuddling it like a teddy bear.
Taking an involuntary whiff of his lingering scent, Helga wondered what Arnold was doing. He was always up to something new and interesting. It had to be much better than her boring 'normal' life. She hoped he was okay. He got himself into trouble sometimes and needed her help to get him out of a jam. She loved that football-headed idiot.
He didn't know it, but she wished he would take her into his arms right there. Kiss her, hug her, put a hand on her shoulder to let her know someone was there for her, anything. She had to settle with smelling his shirt. When she did, she could feel his warmth fill her entire being.
Miriam stumbled into Helga's room at some point to disturb her reverie. "Helga, here's what you need to understand about your father..." She tripped on nothing and passed out on the floor. Her 'smoothie' splattered all over the carpet.
Helga sighed. She really was done with this house, this entire family. She lifted her mother up and put her in the bed. Helga thought about the irony that she needed to 'mother' her own mom. "Good night, Miriam."
She took one last look at the room she grew up in and switched off the light.
Stomping down the stairs, she noticed Bob in his stupid recliner in front of the tv. He had a few more words for her. "You're really leaving, huh," He snarked. "Good luck."
Bob was trying to get under her skin. Trying to get her to cry. But Patakis don't cry and Helga was far from crying.
Helga had three final words for him to let him know how she really felt. "I hate you." She slammed the door behind her.
"You'll be back!" Bob shouted through the walls of the building. His voice boomed down the block. "You always come back!"
It was true, more or less. Helga had tried to leave home in 6th grade, but she didn't have anywhere to go. It turned out to be a weekend at Phoebe's. When she went home, Helga's parents hadn't even noticed she had been gone.
The September air was getting steadily cooler. Helga carried her two suitcases down the street. She already knew where she was going. Phoebe's house was only a block away. When Helga knocked, Phoebe, herself, answered the door.
Phoebe's 15th birthday was in less than a month. She was no longer that tiny mouse. The poofy sweater was gone, replaced with something... tighter, more form-fitting. It was barely long enough to reach the short pleated skirt she wore to show off her legs. She wasn't as tall as Helga was, but Gerald was a lucky boy.
"Greetings, Helga. Why are you carrying suitcases?" Phoebe asked.
"Hey Phoebes. I can't live with Bob anymore. I had to move out. Do you mind if I stay with you?"
"I apologize, Helga. I would love it if you stayed in my room, but my parents will not allow me to entertain an extended visitor."
Helga sighed, it was a long shot anyway. "Okay, I understand." She turned to leave.
"See you at school tomorrow?" Phoebe asked as if she hadn't just abandoned her best friend.
"Not if I die," Helga answered as she turned and marched down the street. Why did she say that? Phoebe was her best friend, well her longest best friend anyway. And it wasn't her fault. Why did she always feel the need to hurt the people that love her. She needed to get out of there before she stuck her foot further into her mouth.
Helga had one more option. When she got to the corner she pulled out her phone and texted her other best friend.
[Hey. I moved out. Long story. Can I stay with you tonight?]
[I'm ever-so sorry, Helga. My parents won't let me have a sleepover on a school night. I'm certain you should try Phoebe.]
[She can't let me stay either. And it's not a sleepover. I need a new place to live.] Helga typed it out in anger.
Lila's response came when Helga got a few blocks away. [I can't believe you're really doing it. You're so brave. What will you do?]
Helga had no idea. She had saved some money from working at Bob's Electronic Emporium. But not enough to rent a motel room for more than a few days. Still, she refused to go back to Bob's house. She would never go back there. She couldn't go back. Giving him the satisfaction would kill her.
[I guess I'll just live in the park.]
She stuffed her phone back into her pocket and looked at where she was. Arnold's street, right in front of his house. The bright orange of the Sunset Arms practically beamed at her.
"Ugh!" There she was with two suitcases and nowhere to go. And her subconscious thinks it's a good idea to stalk her crush. It had to have been the shirt. When she got to thinking about him, it was impossible to stop. She had to see him. She was actually surprised she hadn't plowed into him walking with her nose in her phone. That happened a lot.
The green door opened and Arnold emerged. Her wish had come true, the universe was fair after all. Helga swooned, forgetting everything else.
He was no longer that little boy she had fallen in love with. He still had that cute football-shaped head, but it had become... Helga couldn't describe it. More angular maybe. Those cheekbones made her knees weak. He still had his signature sandy blond hair. It was wild, no longer tamed by his baseball hat. He had stopped wearing it sometime in 7th grade.
Had his shirt always been that tight? He wasn't wearing his signature flannel, instead he had a simple green t-shirt. She could swear she was seeing muscle. She wanted, more than anything, him to sweep her up in those arms and carry her away. She longed to bury her head in that chest.
Helga's heart soared at the sight of him. She had been in love with him for twelve years. She also bullied him all that time. She hated herself for not being able to be honest about her feelings. But, she had a reputation to keep.
Helga was known as the toughest person in their group. Even Harold was a baby compared to her. Someone had to keep the boys in line. It was all she had, her entire identity. What was she supposed to do? Give it up and just be 'Arnold's girlfriend'? She didn't want that. Why couldn't she just be Helga?
She and Arnold needed to talk about it. Helga just could never find the words. She had tried so many times since their trip to San Lorenzo. Whenever she tried she always just called him an 'idiot' or shoved him to the ground and ran away. He probably thought she still hated him.
It had been years since she last told him she loved him. So many years since her first real kiss (though her first fake kiss was also with him in Romeo and Juliet). And in all that time she had only been mean to him. Ugh! She mentally kicked herself. So much lost progress.
For not the first time, she resolved herself to walk right up to him and tell him everything. She told herself 'this time I mean it', just like all those other times. Except that she really meant it this time.
She strode up to him as he put the box he was carrying into a moving van that had appeared out of nowhere. It had to be a tenant moving out. Yeah that was it.
"Arnold." She called to him. "What's going on?"
"Hey, Helga." He smiled that smile that melted her heart even when it wasn't pointed in her direction. "I'm moving."
Helga's entire being fell into a bottomless pit. "Moving!? You can't move! You can't!" Helga grabbed him panicking. "There's so much- I- NO!"
He couldn't move. She was actually going to tell him. Right now. Soon at the very least. He couldn't move. She would die without him. She needed him to save her from herself.
She clutched onto him so tightly she could barely breathe. She wouldn't let him go. If she never let go, he couldn't leave her. She could spend her entire life holding onto him for dear life right there on that sidewalk.
He tried to pull her off of him, but her iron-grip never failed her. "Don't worry. My parents got a place only five blocks from here."
'Five blocks'. The words repeated in her head. Helga let go of him and backed away. "...oh."
"I didn't know you cared, Helga."
"I don't! I mean- ugh!" She dropped just telling him and went back to being his bully. "If you left, I'd have to find a new victim. And Harold doesn't deserve that." As Helga was trying to figure out what else to say, Arnold's grandpa, Phil, came out of the house with another box.
"These don't look like your suitcases, Short-man." He was inspecting Helga's luggage.
"Those're... mine..." Helga said.
"Why do you have suitcases, Helga?" Arnold asked.
"None of your damn beeswax, Football-head." She picked them up and continued on her way. She just needed to get out of there.
"So, you're the new cadet!" A voice from the top of Arnold's steps stopped Helga in her tracks. She looked at where the voice came from.
Arnold's grandma, Gertrude, stood in the doorframe dressed in an oversized military uniform. "Well, what are you waiting for!? Get up here!"
She grabbed Helga's arm and drug her up the steps and into the building, suitcases and all. She was strangely strong for an old lady. "Welcome aboard, Uh..." Arnold's grandma adjusted her glasses and looked her up and down. "What was your name again?"
"Helga Pataki?" Arnold's grandma was clearly on something.
Arnold tried to interject. "Grandma-"
"That's right! Cadet Pataki!" Arnold's grandma went on. "Captain Shortman is transferring to another battalion. You'll be responsible for all of his duties." She led her up the stairs. "Let me show you to your quarters."
She took her up to the second floor and lowered the stairs to Arnold's room. "It ain't spacious, but it's got a skylight."
Helga knew that. She had Arnold's entire room memorized. She could navigate it blindfolded. "Oh, I can't rent Arnold's room, I don't have enough money."
"You don't pay," Arnold's grandma cackled. "Room and board come with the job."
"What?"
"Grandma, Helga doesn't need a place to stay," Arnold explained. "She lives with her parents."
"Yeah... I..." Helga figured she should just come out and say it. "I can't stay there anymore. Big Bob and I got into a fight..." She tried to dig her shoe into the carpet. It didn't work very well. "That's why... suitcases..."
"Oh I see. I'm sorry to hear that, Helga." Arnold had genuine sympathy for her situation. "Well, it sounds like you can stay here. You know, until you get things sorted out with your dad."
Helga's heart skipped a beat. Arnold was actually listening and giving her a chance. Her love for him only grew in that moment.
"Let me show you around." Arnold was such a gentleman and carried Helga's suitcases up to his room for her without asking.
"Dinner is at 1800 hours sharp! And here's some proper headgear." Arnold's grandma threw a blue beanie up at her. She caught it. It was brand new. It still had the tags on. "That pink bow is pretty, but it isn't going to do much good when the bombs start falling."
She put the beanie on her head on top of the bow and finished climbing the stairs.
She was in Arnold's room. It looked smaller than it usually did when it was almost empty. All of Arnold's stuff must have been packed into the moving van. Only one box was left. But there was the bed, the desk, the flip-up couch. The room had a lingering Arnold scent that made Helga's knees weak.
"Have you ever been in my room?" Arnold asked.
She had, many times. But Helga couldn't remember if she had ever been in his room that he was supposed to know about. Well, there was that one time he caught her, but Arnold might still be in denial about that one. There was also that time before that, and the one before that, with the Campfire Lass outfit and the cassette tape in her mouth.
She hedged her bet. "I don't think so. But if I had, it was years and years ago." That was a lie. The truth was three weeks before, at the end of summer vacation. It was a stupid mix-up involving a particularly oblong watermelon.
"Okay. Well I promise the bed sheets are clean." Helga trembled at the thought that she would be sleeping in Arnold's sheets. Her cheeks warmed up on her face. "And here's the remote for the flip-up couch."
He picked up the last box and started descending the stairs. "Are you going to be okay here?"
He was so considerate. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Better than Bob's place." She was desperate to ask him to stay for a while and talk, but she knew he and his parents needed to unload their stuff at their new place.
"I know my grandparents are a little wacky, but-"
"Yes, Arnold, I'm familiar with Phil and Gertrude." Helga put her fists on her hips and gave him an annoyed look.
Arnold smiled. "See you tomorrow at school?"
"Yeah!" She replied a little too excited. Shit! She sounded over eager. She needed to tone it way down. "I mean, I'll see ya if I see ya." She turned away so he couldn't see how giddy she was. Had they actually had a cordial conversation?
"Cool." He started out the door. "Bye, Helga."
"Later, Football-head... And-" She caught him by the elbow. "Thanks." This was getting out of control. Helga had to slap the sense back into herself. She put her annoyed face back on. "Now get out of my room!"
