A/N: Hiya! So it's been about six years since the last time I wrote something and decided I should publish it. But here I am! This fic is going to be very Sakura-centric, so if you don't like that, or if you are someone who likes to bash on Sakura, then this isn't the place for you. But if you're all about that beautiful Sakura love, then please stick around and I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Though I sometimes with Kishimoto-sensei also didn't own Naruto because then he might not have failed me.
Two months.
Two months since the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War.
Two months since Sasuke had returned to Konohagakure.
Two months since the beginning of the rebuilding of the village.
Two months, and in that time Sakura had had no time to really process. Her days were spent between assisting Tsunade with the care of all the injured, helping with the organization of the Hospital and it's rebuilding, speaking with the Elders in favor of Sasuke's pardon, and using any other spare time as an envoy between Konoha and Suna. She barely had the time to sit and eat, much less time to think.
She keeps her opinions to herself. Barely speaking unless spoken to or to give orders. She keeps focused on the task on hand and not on the hyperactive knucklehead who would pop his head in every so often with excited words and requests of her time. She doesn't take any time off to visit the last Sharingan user, despite the few times a messenger had been sent to ask of her presence. She doesn't even take her eyes off of her projects long enough to notice the all too familiar flash of silver hair and an annoying orange book that would appear every once in awhile but never stayed for too long, whose visits were far and few between.
Aside from the conversations with Elders, medic-nin, construction workers, and those she treated, Sakura only found herself talking with her Shishou.
"You're going to work yourself into an early grave." The calm, but stern voice of the Fifth Hokage came. "Take a break."
Without stopping her work, Sakura continued to heal the last of the wounds on her patient. She does however, take a small breath and glance back at the older woman.
"I haven't even used up half of my chakra today, shishou. You worry too much."
Her smile comes almost effortlessly as she turns back to the task at hand.
"After this I want you to take a break. That's an order."
"Wha- Shishou, I've barely even started my work for the day. I have much to do today. I don't have the luxury to be taking a break right now."
"You've been working yourself to chakra depletion since we got back to Konoha. When was the last time you spoke to Ino? Or someone from your team?" Tsunade moved to stand beside her pupil, "Sakura, you need to take a break. You've done more than enough these couple of months. I think it's high time that you take a break. I'm ordering you to take a break. If I see you anywhere near this hospital or anywhere else you have been working in the next week for anything other than an emergency then I'll make it so you won't be permitted to work for a month on top of that."
There was no room for Sakura to argue. She knew better than to fight back against the slug princess after she had put her foot down. So she turned her attention back to her patient without a word.
"After you finish up here you are free to go. Enjoy your vacation, Sakura. I mean it." And with that Tsunade was gone.
Sakura spent last hour and a half laying on her couch in her small apartment, something gifted to her by Lady Tsunade herself after their return since a majority of the housing districts had been destroyed. She had left the hospital with a huff and a small glare at her shishou nearly two hours before and since then had done nothing to help pass the time of the week ahead of her away.
"This is ridiculous. I should be doing something to help right now, not sitting around." Her words came out in an almost growl. She rolled onto her side, huffing and puffing, only to be met with blue eyes staring at her sheepishly from her window.
"Ah, hey there Sakura-chan. I stopped by your office and ran through the hospital to see you, but the old lady said that were home taking a break. Which is great, because everyone needs a break sometimes and you hardly take any. And I was gonna see if you wanted to get something to eat! It doesn't even have to be ramen, even though the old man at Ichiraku gave me a coupon for free ramen for life so we wouldn't even have to pay..."
Naruto.
Tsunade had been right. Sakura couldn't remember the last time she had spoken to anyone on her team since returning aside from a few words here and there. Just seeing the blond and hearing his casual yet excited rambling caused all the frustration in her to just fade. She couldn't stop the small smile from forming and the bit of laughter that passed her lips.
"Breathe, Naruto. The last thing we need is the future Hokage dying from lack of oxygen."
When was the last time she had been able to joke around like this?
"Like I would let that happen! You're not getting rid of me that easily, not when we finally have Team Seven back together!"
And just like that, her playful mood was gone. It felt almost like the breath was knocked out of her, causing an ache in her chest.
"You've been so busy working that you haven't even gotten to chance to see the bastard, have you, Sakura-chan? We should invite him out to eat with us! It will be my treat! We can even invite Kakashi-sensei and Sai too!"
"No." The word comes out before she can even stop it.
"Huh? What do you mean no?"
"A-Ah… I mean, I'm really tired, Naruto. I don't think I'm really up to going out tonight. Sorry."
"Oh! Well that's fine, Sakura-chan. If you want I could bring you something?"
It was almost as if he had caught on to her discomfort, and honestly it didn't surprise her. She knew Naruto wasn't dumb.
"I'm okay, Naruto. Thank you."
"Oh," he sounded to dejected. "Okay."
"But, maybe we can go get dinner tomorrow? Ramen?"
And just like that, his carefree smile was back and the weight on Sakura's chest lessened just a bit.
"Yeah! It's a date!" Red filled his features and he nearly fell out of her window. "I- I mean not a date date. Just like, a plan. It's a plan! But that sounds stupid... I didn't mean it like we were going on a date, Sakura-chan, I just meant that I was looking forward to it. That's all."
Sakura let herself laugh a bit, unable to hold back when Naruto was his most pure.
"Don't worry about it, Naruto. I'll see you tomorrow night."
"Ahaha, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow night!"
She watched as he gave a wave and then was jumping from her window to the neighbor's roof. She waited till he was out of sight and she could no longer sense his chakra signature to let the smile fall off her face. The ache in her chest was brought to the front of her attention.
"What is wrong with me?"
Hours seem to pass her by and soon the light coming through her window was nothing more than the moon and a few street lights. The cool night breeze passed through, falling over her small form, still draped over her couch as she had been hours before. The ache in her chest was still going strong, as were the thoughts running through her head. Thoughts of a certain pair of black eyes that had haunted her dreams for the last few years. Thoughts of a pair of blue eyes that put the daytime sky to shame. Thoughts of her teammates by her side. And thoughts of them suddenly ahead of her. And then thoughts of them completely out of sight. The pain in her chest growing.
The sound of knocking snapped her back into reality. She waited a moment, waiting to hear the sound again, almost as confirmation that she was really hearing it. Once again the soft rapping came and Sakura stood.
Pulling open the door, she was met with the sight of a blonde, but this time with long hair and a smile that was more comforting than the grin of her teammate.
"I heard that Lady Tsunade forced your ass outta the hospital and threatened you with a month long vacation if you didn't stay away for at least a week. I brought the good stuff."
Ino held up two bottles of sake.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?"
"No, but you can make up for lost time but letting me in and drinking these with me."
Sakura stepped aside allowing her best friend to come in. She closed the door behind the other kunoichi whom was already making herself at home. She grabbed two glasses for each of them, placing them down on the small coffee table in front of Ino.
"So rumor has it, and you know I love listening to town gossip, that you haven't even seen Sasuke once since his return. And before you say anything, his trial doesn't count. So what's going on, forehead?"
"Ino, I don't- There isn't anything going on. I've just been busy. You know that. You've seen the state that the war put the hospital in. You've seen all those who needed to be treated."
"You're right. I have seen all of that. But I've also seen you working extra hours when the hospital has been fully staffed. I've seen you completely ignore when Naruto had come to visit, and ignore whenever Sasuke had requested to see you. You've been avoiding them, Sakura, and it's about time you realize that yourself so you can figure out why."
Ino looked her dead in the eye as she downed a shot of the sake and poured herself another. Sakura followed suit, taking a shot herself, finding that she was entirely too sober for this conversation.
"I- I'm not avoiding them. I just- I just need some time. I think." She barely spoke above a whisper. Still a bit unsure about her thoughts.
"And that's okay. You know that, right? You can take time for yourself. I mean, you've been chasing after one thing for the last five years, and now that you've accomplished it it's normal to feel different."
Another shot.
"I just don't know how to feel. I don't know when it stopped being about bringing Sasuke back because I wanted him back."
Another shot.
Ino poured them both another round, humming softly in thought.
"Do you still love him?"
"I- What? Why're you asking that now?"
"Don't answer my question with a question. Do you still love Sasuke?"
"I wouldn't have let you in if I knew that this is where the conversation was going to go."
"Yes you would have. Now answer the damn question already."
There was silence between the two of them that felt like it would last forever. Sakura knocked back a few more mouthfuls of the sake and let it slide down her throat slowly. Letting the burn of the alcohol take over her thoughts for a few short seconds.
"I do." This time her words did come out as a whisper.
"What?"
"I said I do. I still love him."
"Okay. Do you love Naruto?"
Sakura nearly choked, coughing roughly over the burn becoming a bit stronger. Her face suddenly felt warmer than usual and she wasn't sure if it was Ino's question or the alcohol that was causing the sensation.
"What are you getting at, Ino?"
"I'm taking that as a yes unless you deny it." The Yamanaka heiress paused, giving her red faced friend more than enough time to reject the statement before continuing. "I think you should take the time Lady Tsunade has given you to sort out your feelings. You don't have to do it all tonight, but we do have another bottle to finish after this one, so now is a good time to start."
"I don't even know what I should be sorting out. So I love them both. I will get over it eventually."
Ino snorts, perfectly suited to her childhood nickname. "How? By drowning yourself in work so you don't have time to think about them?"
"Maybe..."
"Yeah, that isn't happening. You know why? Because you won't be the only one who ends up unhappy in that situation."
"They will be fine."
"I'm sure they will be. But being fine doesn't mean that they will be happy. Dammit Sakura, don't you think that it's about time you three allow yourself to be happy? Think about it: let's assume that you follow through with this plan of yours. You ignore your feelings, allowing yourself to be carried away by your work. Fine. Maybe Naruto ends up married, probably to Hinata bless her heart, but he won't truly be happy. Don't get me wrong, he will love her as much as he can, but he won't really be in love with her. Not the way that he loves you. We've all seen how he looks at you like you've hung the moon and that the sun is coming out of your ass. He loves you more than anyone I've seen someone love someone."
The thought uncomfortably with Sakura. The thought of Naruto five or ten years in the future, Hokage with Hinata or someone else at his side. Him spending late nights in the Hokage tower with no one to yell at him and force him to get some sleep and spend time with his family. With his wife.
"And then there is Sasuke. Knowing him, once his probation that he's been placed on is lifted, once he is able to take missions outside of the village, he will also drown himself in work. He will take mission after mission, only giving himself enough time in the village to barely keep his house clean. He won't even try to heal. He won't go back to the Uchiha compound and try to rebuild it. He won't try to salvage what's left of his family because he won't fully have the support he would need to help him through it. Not if you're avoiding him and avoiding your feelings. Let's say he too ends up with someone. He won't love them. We both know that. He would marry someone purely with the intent of rebuilding his clan. He wouldn't be happy."
"Ino…"
"No! You know what? I think you need to hear this. Sakura, you worked so hard to catch up with Naruto and Sasuke. I know that because I watched you those two years that Naruto was off training with Lord Jiraiya. You trained like crazy to become better. You took hit after hit from Lady Tsunade until you were able to avoid every single one. You worked on your strength until your hands bled. You became the best medic-nin I have ever heard of, surpassing Lady Tsunade herself. You spent three years building and storing your chakra so you could form that seal on your big billboard forehead! You have come so far just to be able to stand next to Naruto and Sasuke, and if I am being honest, despite everything that they have done, I think you've even passed them even if by just a little. Why would you work this hard only to just give up after reaching your goal?"
"Because I don't know what my goal is now!"
Once again silence filled the room. Sakura had brought her fist down with her words which in turn broke the small table in front of them. She was shaking as tears pricked at her eyes, threatening to come down.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't know what my goal is supposed to be. You say that I've passed them, but it doesn't feel like it. I close my eyes and all I see is their backs in front of me. All I see is them walking away and leaving me again. I don't want them to leave me again."
And she was crying. She barely registered the hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she was pulled into a tight hug.
"They can't leave me if I don't let them back in."
"Oh, Sakura…"
Ino shushed her friend, running her fingers through pink locks. She rocked the crying kunoichi gently, whispering comforting words until her breathing was once again steady and the tears had slowed.
The ache in Sakura's chest was stronger than ever as emotion after painful emotion washed over her. Her head was swimming with thoughts, with Ino's descriptions of the possible future, with her feelings for the two people who meant everything to her, with images of impossibly blue eyes and dark eyes she spent so many days getting lost in back when she was younger.
They sat like that for what felt like hours, allowing the silence around them to comfort them like a blanket. Neither one spoke aside from Ino's hushed whispers and the occasional sound of Sakura mumbling through tears. And once it was completely silent, once the air around them was no longer thick with tension, Ino spoke again.
"I want you to be happy, Sakura. And I'm not the only one. Ever since we've been back, Lady Tsunade has been keeping a close eye on you. I overheard her talking with Shizune-san a couple weeks ago, she was drunk, but still she was thinking about you. She kept telling Shizune-san that she didn't want you to end up like her. She brought up Lord Jiraiya a few times too. To be honest, I didn't know she felt that way about him. I didn't stick around much longer to hear more. It felt a lot more private at that point. But my point is, so many people want you to be happy. They only one stopping that from happening is you. You can't let the fear of them leaving you stop you from being happy. If you let fear get to you then you would never have become the beautiful and powerful flower that you've blossomed into. You're not that little bud I found crying with her hair covering her face. Not anymore. You haven't been for years now."
Sakura sniffed, "When did you become so smart, Ino-pig?"
"Hey! I've always been this smart, forehead!"
They both started laughing, the tension in the room completely gone. The conversation stayed more lighthearted from there as they cleaned up the mess that was the coffee table. Ino made sure to salvage the two sake cups and what was left of the first bottle of sake. Once everything was cleaned up, Ino poured them each another round and handed it to Sakura with ease.
"I told Shikamaru that I loved him. Like right as we got back."
"What? What happened after that?"
"He rejected me. But like, it was okay. I cried a bit, but after that I felt really good. I had this pain in my chest for months whenever I saw him with Temari, and after realizing I was jealous or whatever, I decided that I wasn't going to just mope around, so I told him."
"It's been two months. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. It happened, and then I was over it. I mean, don't get me wrong. Sometimes when I think about it it still hurts a bit. I still get sad thinking about what if and such, but at the end of the day I was happy I told him. Now he knows. And now it's his loss."
Ino grinned over at her best friend, and suddenly Sakura understood.
"I don't think I'm ready."
"I don't think you can really prepare yourself for something like this, forehead. It just happens. You just do it."
Both girls knock back yet another shot, getting back into their rhythm. They were almost through the entire first bottle. Once again their cheeks were flushed a light shade of pink, and this time from the alcohol for sure.
"How will this even work? I just pull both of them aside and tell them that I love them both? Even if they both feel the same way, with my luck they will just fight like they used to and end up back in the hospital. And I'll be the one who will have to heal them."
The two were laughing again, picturing the all out war that would be Naruto and Sasuke fighting over Sakura's love.
"You'd be living every girl in the village's wet dream! Konoha's very own hero and the Uchiha bad boy that every girl used to lust after fighting over you. Now that is a sight I would want to see."
"Ino! I'm being serious!"
More laughter and another shot passed their lips.
"I dunno, Sakura. Why don't you start by not avoiding them. You don't have to jump head first and just declare your love. Spend some time with them. Relearn how to be yourself around them. Relearn how to be Team Seven. Once you're ready, well you'll know. If anything it will just happen. You'll just say it. Over everything else though, you need to let yourself heal. Focus on how you feel around them. See for yourself how much you've caught up to them. Everything will fall into place once you're confident in yourself again."
Sakura grinned at her best friend, "Seriously, Ino-pig, I don't know when you got this smart."
