Disclaimer: "She was pure like snowflakes No one could ever stain The memory of my angel Could never cause me pain"

(An: This is a companion fic to "Something Better". You don't have to read that, though, to get this. It's just Jubilee's side of the story.)

I'm scared of Jubilee.

Ok, go ahead, laugh at me. I'm scared. Of a girl. And I mean terrified. The mere thought of her wants me to go hole up somewhere for the next thirty years or so.

It's not because she's vicious, or she wants to kill me, no. In fact, the girl in question has been my best friend for three years.

It's because I'm in love with her.

You can laugh harder, if you want. But whenever I look at her, I want to kiss her so badly it hurts. Or something like that, to show her how I feel. But I can't. I just can't.

&&&

Jubilee was the kind of person who was tiny but still seemed to fill up the room. I liked her instantly. She had scrap. And besides, I met her while she was attempting to put whipped cream in all the shaving cream bottles in the mansion. How can you not like someone who's already trying to prank every guy in the place even though she's only been there a day?

It took me a while to fall for her. I'd already had my heart broken- fallen for Lorna Dane at fourteen, went with her until I was fifteen, and lost her over a triviality at sixteen. I won't go into details. But since then I've done my best to make it on my own.

Anyway, I still flirted with her. Not as much as I did after she came back with the new attitude, but just enough to get the idea into my head that she might like me back.

Of course, me being me and having decided that any girl who could make me feel that way was trouble walking, it took me the better part of a year to figure this all out, and that only because we were in the middle of a crisis.

Jubes stuck to me like glue when the mansion went into lockdown. I don't think she knows I noticed, seeing as I was seemingly more absorbed in saving our collective asses, but I did. I noticed whenever that girl got close to me.

When I found out she had to leave after that whole incident, it was like somebody pulled the world out from under my feet. Not see Jubes every day? The idea was unfathomable to me.

See, Drake? said that nasty little voice that lurks in the back of everyone's head. Girls just get you in trouble.

I did my best to ignore it, but that when the day came, I hid. I said I was a coward. But I just honestly didn't know what I would do when she left, and the former concept of losing my Jubilee became reality.

I figured if I ignored her when she left, I wouldn't have to think about her anymore, and she wouldn't do anything to get back in touch with me because she'd be mad. Boy, was I wrong.

So I sat in the most isolated spot I could think of- the edge of the forest, out by the cliffs.

Jubes found me anyway, though. I was brooding when she came up from behind and hugged me. I was equally startled and pleased. After a moment, I hugged her back. I could see the accusation in her eyes, but she didn't say anything. I had so much I wanted to tell her, but I settled for "I'll miss you, Jubes."

She gave me a somewhat watery smile. "I'll write, but only if you promise not to call me Jubes."

I laughed. It was so her to complain about my nicknames at a time like this. I took her hand and led her back to the mansion. Her parents were waiting. I waved until she was out of sight.

I figured I'd never see Jubilation Lee again- at least, not like this. Visits, yeah, but to be in another situation where she'd have her manicured nails clamped around my heart? I doubted it.

So I nearly fell out of my chair when, almost exactly a year later, I heard her voice over the com. The professor usually made me run gate duty- I was always in trouble, anyway, and I was the kind of guy who wasn't too weird and just friendly enough to be a good welcomer. When I used my usual "Xavier's Haunted Mansion" bit, there was a pause. "Hello?" I repeated.

"Open the damn door, Drake!"

Insert gasp of surprise from me, stumble, and scramble for the talk button. "Jubes?" I demanded.

"Don't call me that! It's Jubilee, dammit!"

My heart skipped a beat. My Jubes was back. I had no idea whether I wanted to run out there and tackle her or go hide somewhere far away so I wouldn't have to deal with the longing that came from being in her presence. I settled for opening the gates and rushing out to the front doors to meet her.

I was surprised to see her. She still had the yellow coat, but she'd chopped her hair to a spiky mess and had pink sunglasses over her eyes. The perky teen I'd known was still there, but she'd picked up attitude. It was all I could do to resist kissing her right then. She snapped her gum. This snapped me out of my stunned silence. "I wasn't aware I ordered the Jubes 2.0," I commented, stepping aside to let her in.

She shoved me anyway, rolling her eyes. "Loser. Is that all you've got to say to me after I've been gone all this time?"

"What were you expecting?" I replied without thought. I'd missed this- me and her arguing like an old married couple. I'd never known another girl I could do it with.

"I missed you, nice to see you, even a freaking 'hello' would've sufficed."

Here's how bad I was thinking at the moment: I actually considered letting the words "How about I love you?" pass my lips. I mean, saying something like that's just asking for pain. And if you haven't figured it out yet, I've never been good at taking it like a man. "Jeez, Jubesy, who upped the rating?" The god of unrequited love? was what ran through my head.

Jubilee started walking off, putting an extra wiggle into it. And suddenly, I understood how those people put on the rack in the middle ages must have felt, because that was torture. "Are you complaining, Bobby?" she asked coyly.

"...No, no," I managed to stammer, running up and putting an arm around her so I couldn't stare and incur further wrath, "I'll keep my mouth shut if you'll keep doing that."

She snorted and pushed me away. I put the flash of pleasure I thought I saw in her eyes down under "Wishful Thinking" and tried to keep up. "No such luck, Drake."

Life basically went back to the same for me after that. Jubilee was back in my life, every moment I wasn't around her was torment, I was terrified that she might somehow discover that I thought she was perfect, et cetera, et cetera ad infinitum.

&&&

Like I said, I'm scared witless of this girl who's two years younger and at least a foot and a half shorter than me. Sad, I know. But there should really be a word for this. "Jubesophobia" or something. And I'd be the textbook case.

&&&

Ok, I admit. I was an idiot. I had something perfect and I shattered it. And now Jubilee, for once, is the one hiding from me.

I'm always so afraid of being hurt. I never imagined I'd be the one doing the hurting.

I'd like to say it was all a big misunderstanding... but it wasn't. Not really. Well, it was, kind of- one from my brain to my mouth.

It all started because I found out there was a betting pool going on that I wasn't the ringleader of. Kurt had just let it slip to Rob that it was his week for the pool. Curiousity peaked, I followed them from a good distance.

"So how much is it now?" Rob had asked.

"A lot," said Kurt, grinning evilly, rubbing his hands together. "All they have to do is kiss."

"Like it's ever gonna happen," Rob had replied, rolling his eyes. "Bobby's an idiot."

"Yeah, but Jubilee's over the moon for him," said Kurt. "And if I just happened to get them alone in the same room..."

Rob "pff"ed and walked off, waving his hand dismissively at Kurt.

"You'll see!" Kurt yelled after him. "I've got plans!"

Frowning, I slunk back into my room where Sam was sitting on his bed, reading a book. "You look like somebody just kicked your puppy," he observed.

"Bite me, Guthrie."

Sam rolled his eyes. I could almost hear him thinking something like "guys in love are so stupid." But I've got his number. He likes Jubilee's roomate.

Anyway, I sat on my own bed, fuming for a bit, and then got sick of it. Sitting and thinking has never been my strong point. So I walked out and into the common room.

Jubilee was bent over a book, biting her lip in that way she always does when she thinks. I sat down next to her. She raised her eyebrows at me, which was Jubilee for "Are you that stupid?" What she actually said was, "In case you haven't noticed, Drake, I'm studying."

I slammed her geometry shut. "It can wait, short stuff. We've got bigger fish to fry."

The comment had the desired effect. Jubilee, jumped up, her face contorted with fury, and was about to start in on me, when I grabbed her hand and yanked her out of the room.

Once we were in the hallway, she jerked her hand out of my grip, backing off. "What do you want?" she demanded. I noted with pleasure that she didn't sound as calm as she usually did.

I just stared at her for a moment, wondering if I really was doing the right thing by finally acting on my affections and risking everything our friendship was based on. A voice in the back of my head instantly answered DUH! Before I could let myself think anymore, I whispered, "This," and I kissed her.

Insert joy, bliss, fulfillment, et cetera.

And then she kissed me back.

Ok, so I freaked. I know it's weird. But despite what Kurt had said and what I was currently doing, I still hadn't allowed myself to even go near the concept of Jubilee liking me as much as I liked her. "If you never have hope, you can never have it crushed" has always been my motto.

So I pulled back and yelled into the common room. "Hey, Kurt, you owe me five bucks."

I knew I was screwed when I saw the expression on her face. Shock, embarrassment, and anger were distributed across her face. Mostly anger, though. I could tell exactly what she was thinking, too- I'd kissed her because someone else had dared me to, not because I actually felt that way toward her. Not true, of course, but probably something I would do to any other girl. "You-!" she shrieked. And then she hit me, right across the cheek. It was hard enough to be called a bitch-slap.

She ran off, me calling desperately after. Not like I was actually expecting her to listen... but still.

And that's why I'm here, heading outside, mentally berating myself as I search for Jubilee. I frown. It's freezing outside. Wherever she is, she must be pretty cold. It's fine for me, but Jubilee's always been a glutton for warmth.

I'm pretty surprised to find her sitting out by the pool, of all places. This time of year, there's still some water in it (which can be warmed up easily enough by Amara) for training missions and stuff, but right now it's got a thin crust of ice over it. I sit down next to Jubes, who has her face buried in her hands. "Whoever you are," she sniffles, "you are a bastard for not leaving me alone."

Since today is a day for taking risks, I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. "Aw, Jubesy," I murmur into her ear, "isn't that a little strong?"

She screams. Literally. And then she pushes me into the pool. I hadn't expected her to react like this, actually.

I shrug, swimming on my back as she uncovers her face. Her face falls for a second, and then settles into a death glare. "You are a bastard, Robert Drake. I thought we were friends."

Of all the things I'd expected her to say, this was not one of them. I thought she'd say something akin to "That was a bad joke, Drake." And I'd never heard her call me "Robert" before. The words sounded awkward but not untrue on her lips. "We are friends," I reply, confused.

She stands, her eyes like the ice on the pool. She backs up, hugging herself.

I frown and pull myself out of the pool, running a hand down my clothes and shaking off the ice as I step toward her. I take one step forward. She takes one step back. Wishing to end the impromptu dance, I run a hand through my hair, looking at my feet. "Look, Jubilee," I mumble. "I'm sorry about what I did. I can understand perfectly if you don't feel the same way. It's just..." As I started that sentence, I happen to look up. The ice in her eyes has melted, to be replaced by something a lot more... hopeful.

"What did you just say?"

"It's just?" I'm not trying to be funny, really. She's confusing me.

"Before that, you idiot."

Despite the cold all around me, my cheeks heat up. "I can understand perfectly if you don't feel the same way?"

"Yeah, that," she replies, taking a step toward me.

I bite my lip, feeling the hope dawn in my own heart.

"So you kissed me because you wanted to?"

"It's kind of more complicated than that," I respond, closing the gap between us, "but yes, that's the basic idea."

"Then shut up."

I blink, and before I can say what I'm thinking, Jubilee's mouth is covering my own.

&&&

Ok, I'm still a textbook case for Jubesophobia. But I think I just found the cure.

(If you read "Something Better", then this may seem a little redundant, but I like writing scenes from multiple POVs. Now, review! The Jubby fluff commands you!)