Kovu, that is my name. A name that I would come to find was meant to bring about nothing but destruction upon the pride lands and to shed the blood of its King, Simba. Luckily though, that never came to be, and it wasn't from the help of my own clan. Especially my mother, who was the one who put such hatred and evil into my heart from her own arrogance. Rather, it came in the form of someone I always remembered from the short time I met her, that someone being Simba's own daughter, Kiara. A lioness who unlike everyone, saw me as someone who could be more than what he was raised to be. She didn't judge me from where I came from, or what I was a part of. Instead, she pushed me in ways only she could do and where only I could see in why she was doing it. Love, that's what it came down to. What we did, the talking, the learning of another, pushing each other to think in our ways than being told how to be ourselves. Though that love would go through a lot, such as being separated due to the actions of those from the past and having to help end the hatred that was held amongst my own clan and those of the pride lands. Such things I thought could never be topped in what could test the love she and I have made, but I was wrong. So it is now, I shall tell you of a day that happened three and a half months ago that was above all else. To tell you, and show you the feelings both her and I experienced.
Three and a half months ago
I remember the day like it was yesterday. The sun was a bright yellow, the sky was a clear blue, and the animals were all doing their usual duties. Such as feeding and teaching their children the circle of life. For me though, I was simply laying on my side inside of pride rock. Enjoying the shade it was offering yet at the same time, needing some alone time. As of recently, Kiara hadn't been feeling as well as she usually did. do to this, both Simba and Nala decided it was best to take Kiara to see Rafiki in hopes to see what was wrong with her. I had told them I wanted to go with them due to the worry I had, but being Kiara and the way she was, she just told me not to worry and to watch over our home in case an emergency happened. Well, the only emergency that ever happened during the time they were gone was my heart and how fast it was beating due to the length of time they had been gone.
"Where are you guys?" I asked myself in a whisper, my voice full of worry as my eyes watched closely for any type of shadow to appear at the entrance. While I keened my ears for the slightest hint of paws coming up to it. It was than though, I heard someone coming up. This had made me raise my head in hopes they had finally returned, and sure enough the figure that came into view was my Kiara.
"Kiara!" I shouted, excitement overwhelming both my voice and actions. For I had lifted myself up from the ground and had raced over to her where I could see her smiling at me from the entrance. Once I got next to her, I began to rub my head agaisnt hers in a very loving manor.
"How did things go, and is it anything serious we need to worry about?" I asked quickly, staring into her eyes with nervousness. Seeing and Knowing that I was in distress from the way I was acting. She had placed her right paw over my left paw. 'Causing me to look down at the gesture she had done and then for me to look back up to her.
"Everything's fine Kovu, I'm not dying nor I'm I in serious danger." She told me in a calm soothing voice, allowing me to take a deep breath of calm fresh air. Which I had desperately needed at that time.
"Oh thank the kings and queens of the sky." I stated, sighing with relief. Out of all the anxiety though, I hadn't even notice Simba nor Nala was with her.
"Um Kiara, why isn't your mom and dad with you." I asked curiously, looking behind her and not seeing either one of them in sight. Somehow Kiara found this funny, as I saw her chuckle. Making me a bit confused as to why she did that?
"What's so funny?" I asked her puzzled, she only gave me a wet lick to my left cheek in response while also removing her paw away from on top of mine.
"Nothing Kovu, it's just they figured it'd be best if I told you alone." She stated in a warm smile, slowly walking past me and to the point of pride rock that over looked the the pride lands, where she slowly sat down. At that point, I was really starting to wonder what was really going and what she meant by 'tell you alone'. So I had slowly walked over to her and had taken a seat next to her on her right. Looking at her with a look that said 'what is going on?'.
"Kiara, is there something you want to tell me? 'Cause it sounds like Rafiki told you something big, and if it's not life threatening than what is it?" I asked her, wanting to start hearing some answers from her and what exactly she seemed to be hiding from me.
"Well, do you remember just about a week ago when we went back to revisit the spot where we reunited after being separated?" She asked me curiously, turning her head to the right, so she was looking in my eyes.
"Yeah, I remember. That, that was a good night." My face began to blush after I had said that, due to remembering what we had done together under that star lit sky that night. Which she did to, from the blush I noticed forming on her cheeks as well. What did that night though have to do with what was happening at the moment? I wondered in that moment. I was about to realize though, it had to do with everything that was going on.
"It sure was a good night my Kovu, and it's what happened that night is why I have been acting strange lately. You see Kovu, I'm..." Before she finished though, I had put two and two together. The night, the way she was acting and what her words meant from just moments ago. Such a realization hit me like my scar and like a ton of logs coming down onto me. I, Kovu...was going to be a father. It all happened so fast that I seemed to finish her sentence without allowing her to.
"Pregnant." I said, still shocked while I saw her nod her head in confirmation of the right word.
"That's right, you're going to be a dad Kovu and I'm going to be a mom." I could than feel her head rub against mine, warm with nothing but affection and happiness. My emotions however were going in all directions, 'Causing me to slowly back away from her and her love. Something I now know was wrong to do from the fear I saw in her eyes. In that moment I thought she thought I didn't want the love she was giving me but it was the opposite.
"Kovu, what's wrong? Are you ok?" Her voice now was full of worry and confusion for me, and I didn't blame her, for the face I had shown her was nothing but worry and of confusion myself. That was due to the fact though of the memories I had of my mom and of what I was told about my 'father' Scar. That even though I know I wasn't his cub he was still connected to me in some form that I will never be able to shake. That what if that side of him would come out on my own Cubs, let alone the teachings of my own vicious mother. It's true, I'm my own lion, but that doesn't mean what they put in me is gone forever. It was those thoughts that scared me and made do something that worsened the situation. For I turned around quickly from my Kiara, and began to run, run as fast as I could.
"Kovu! Wait Kovu!" I could hear her scream in the background. I then looked behind me to see her chasing after me. I just turned my head back ahead of me though and just kept running.
"I-I can't be a dad, there's just to much uncertainly in me. Isn't there?" I thought to myself, having flashes of my mom hitting me when I was a cub and as an adult and what she had put me through while at the same time, envisioning Scar and what he would've taught and done to me if he had been there to.
"No, I won't let either you be the 'Cause of me doing harm! I Just Can't!" I shouted in my head, only to imagine them laughing while also standing above me and telling me 'oh but we will', and 'we shall do what you fear us we would do'. This had 'Caused my vision to become blurry due to the tears that were forming in both of my eyes and falling onto the grass that I was running by. It got to the point however, where my arms and legs grew heavy from all of it and made me simply stop dead in my tracks. Once I had come to a complete stop, Kiara ran right next to me.
"K-Kovu, why did you r-," She stopped before she could finish her sentence though. As she saw the state I was in, that being claws dug deep into the ground while water streamed from my closed eyes like an never ending river that began to water the ground below me. I than opened my eyes quickly and turned to Kiara, realizing what I just put my pregnant wife through.
"You're pregnant, and I-I just ran from you. I just made you feel stress from what I just did. I made you think... That I didn't want them, that I didn't want my cubs, didn't I?" I had asked with sorrow in my voice. For how couldn't I, what I had realized I just did and put her through made me feel ever worse than what I was already feeling inside of me. It was to my shock however, that Kiara, my love, began to lick my tears away slowly, while also wrapping her tail a round mine in a slow yet gentle way. Gestures, I didn't think she would give me from what I had just done to her, yet she did. I became even more shocked from what she said after licking the tears away from my eyes.
"Of course not Kovu. I didn't think that at all, I'm just confused and want to understand why you just ran. You have to tell me what's going on and why, otherwise I can't help you through this hardship that I can see your going through." I heard her state to me in a calm voice, almost like in a whisper. Showing me she wasn't angry with me, just concerned about my well being. This allowed me to calm myself and to retract my claws back into my paws, the wave of being scared and full of worry that brought me here calmed as well. When it all settled, I cleared my voice and had put my head against hers.
"I'm just scared Kiara, with all that's happened in the past and what I was meant to be. I'm scared of the past coming up and making me do something I could never live with. I know I've change a lot and have let go of the ways I was raised with, but that doesn't mean that evil is gone. The last thing I need is Scar or my mom Zira influencing me in ways I don't even know." I stated calmly, letting all that was troubling me onto her shoulders, a weight I knew she could handle but at the same time I didn't want that weight on her, especially during that time. That being said, I didn't know how she would take all of that, or what she would say. So I waited in silence, resting my head on hers till I felt her head rub back along with these words that entered into my ears.
"That'll never happen Kovu. I know it, you are nothing like Zira nor anything like Scar. Not even in the slightest way. From what I saw of Zira and what I heard of Scar from my father you don't let anger or hatred control you. You try your best and to do so much good for our lands and have even risked your life in the process. When you think about it, you've helped me like I have helped you in the ways of understanding what a lion can and should do. That a lion makes their own choices and has to stand on their legs even when others don't want them to. That even the strongest lion can get scared of what the circle of life can bring them, but that just means you have to keep pushing all together." She was right, all of what she had said was right. That just because I have the thoughts and imagery of both Scar and Zira, it didn't mean that I had to continually think about them, that even though they will always be in my head, I'm stronger than them both 'Cause unlike them, I made the choice to put hatred aside and live by my own way to trust rather than to deceive like they did. Kiara somehow always knew the right words to say to me in desperate times like these when they would come up. It made me smile and feel a warmth inside of my chest, so much that I gave her a warm cheek lick on the side of her right cheek as a way of saying 'You understand me.'
"Thank you Kiara, I truly needed that and I apologize for acting the way I did." She only smiled with affection.
"It's ok Kovu, there's no reason to be sorry. I'm scarred about all this to and I know you'll be there for me like I have for you. All I hope is that everything goes well and that our cubs are healthy when they come into the world of the pride lands." I simply nodded my head in response. I was always going to be there for her no matter what, especially in a time like this. There was no way she was going to get hurt nor my cubs, I would make sure of it.
End of three months
On that day three months ago our love was tested, and as such it grew even stronger from the comfort and words we gave each other in times like those and believe me, there were more after that. More so though, when the arrival of our four beautiful Cubs came into the world. It felt surreal and made me rethink what I said before. That at one point, my name was meant to bring destruction and chaos to a place I would call home and to kill a man whose daughter who I would fall in love with. That now my name Kovu has meaning behind it, such as husband and as of now, a loving and devoting father who would do anything for the life and cubs he was so blessed with in the world of the pride lands.
