Welcome the Yellow Leaves

Disclaimer: I own nothing… even though I really want to.
Warnings: Might be sorta slashy, but not overtly so. Also, considering that Cyclonus is a freak, I'm not sure this should be classified as fluffy, but…
Summary: The Decepticon's resident lunatic gets stuck in the middle of nowhere with one of the kids and gets a little insight on why the enemy likes humans so much.


"Oh, Primus, where am I?"

Within the ever shaded regions of Oregon woodlands, Cyclonus stood with a completely shot off rotor, leaking only the slightest drops of Energon, completely lost.

And those weren't his only problems…

Within his hand was one of the Autobots little tag-along fleshy brats, looking far less than amused. If he didn't know any better than he did a few months ago, he would have taken the look on its face to mean it was going to spit on and/or bite him. But no, thanks to the human 'internet' he'd learned humans rarely did that unless it was to each other in a fight. Usually over a mate, or something…

Dang. That only meant that it was gonna yell at him now.

"Please, God in heaven, tell me you can warp back, at least?"

Carlos was trying to remain calm. Not something he was good at, but hanging out with giant robots, his best human friend and Alexis instilled in him the ability to, at the very least, not panic in situations such as these. Also, the giant currently holding him in veiled uncertainty didn't, at the moment, look like he was going to maim or kill him, so best just be calm, gentile and hope he'd stay like this.

"Erm, well…" Cyclonus stuttered, scratching the back of his helm in that well known human fashion that spoke volumes about the position they were currently in.

"Aw, man!" Carlos sighed, annoyance growing by about five percent. He took this moment to stand from his previous sitting position in the flier's hand, taking a look at his surroundings.

Trees. Miles and miles of the green foliage in every direction and the Spaniard had no idea in which direction the green faded to give way to civilization. Or, at least a road that could lead to civilization.

Suddenly he felt that urge to run to one of his more capable friends for help. Why, oh, why had he left his usual survival gear back at the base? It really wasn't that bothersome to carry. Just a map of the United States and a compass, that took up a lot of space in his pockets, but were affective in the long run.

'When I get back, Grindor's so gonna rub this in my face.'

"Hey, squishy, you know where we are?"

Twitching at the insulting nickname, Carlos turned back to the helicopter's face, a frown marring his own, "In the woods, in Oregon, somewhere far away from either of our teammates, with no way of getting back!"

Cyclonus flinched noticeably as the darkest male of the humans he knew raised his voice accusingly, looking even more angry as he crossed his arms as well.

"It's not my fault," The mech defended, "If your buddies hadn't shot at me, then my warp tech would still be working, or I could still fly out of here!"

"You were kidnapping me!"

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't kidnap someone and expect their friends not to try and prevent it!"

"They could have prevented it and still let me keep my rotors in one piece!"

"Tch, yeah, right." Carlos scoffed, turning away from the one Decepticon he probably shouldn't, but he didn't care. For the moment, he was angry and might very well stay that way until one of his friends found him, or Cyclonus fell into a dark pit until he rusted or was chewed on by a thousand bats.

Whichever came first.

"Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you!" Cyclonus shouted a little too close to the Spaniard's head for his comfort.

Putting one of his pinkies into his right ear, the human turned back to the Decepticreep, annoyance written even more plainly across his face, "You're talking? I just assumed that's the noise you make to attract a mate. You're with Demolisher, aren't you?"

Cyclonus stared at him for about a minute. By Primus, if he knew the fleshies could insult as well as the Decepticons, he might have more chances for enjoyment. And this was a youngling, at best! It was actually taking a large portion of his willpower not to chuckle at the insult.

Instead, he proceeded to drop the boy to the ground, the cry of surprise, this time, causing him to succumb to the urge to cackle.

"Real mature…" Carlos called up, dusting himself off, some of the older, deader leaves creating a pretty display. Well, pretty to Cyclonus. Or as pretty as anything that didn't involve explosions could be to Cyclonus.

"Serves you right," The helicopter chuckled, watching Carlos dig around in his pockets for something, anything that could get them out of that environment faster. A piece of gum, his contacts booklet, a pager--

"Score!"

The helicopter jumped as the human made this little noise of triumph and pride, sprinting around the area. He was jumping from one tall vantage point to another. First a tree stump, then a rock, then a pile of rocks, then…

… he turned back to Cyclonus.

"…What?" The smallest Decepticon asked, suddenly regretting dropping the pipsqueak. If there's one other thing he'd learned about humans on the internet, it was that humiliating them always led to payback.

"I need you to pick me up again."

"…Why?"

The dark male sighed, walking right up to the Decepticon, fear not even present as he stood before him, waiting to be picked up, "Because, I need a signal. You're the tallest thing here aside from the trees, and you're, ya know, metal, which helps. So come on, dude, up."

'Are all humans this bossy?'

Not understanding, but not going to say anything, Cyclonus bent down for Carlos to settle back into a standing position upon his palm. Maybe whatever the skinbag was about to do would get them the heck out of this land of foliage sooner.

Turning every which way and that, Carlos didn't care if he looked odd as he leaned off the edge of one of the giant's fingers and then proceeded to round back towards the orange face that had remained weirdly quiet, the device in his hand occasionally making a little beeping noise. It really seemed to make a fuss when it got especially close to the Decepticon's optics.

"Hold still," Carlos finally commanded, holding his right hand over Cyclonus' left optic, his other hand busy clicking the pager, hoping to the deities on high that someone answered back. It had really been a long time since anyone had used their pager. After all, Alexis had gotten them as strictly a last resort and Rad had enforced this ruling. The suck up.

"What are you doing, exactly?" Cyclonus spoke, not moving from his position, oddly astounded the human had the unmitigated gall to order him around. It was kinda hot.

'Wait, take that back. Someone might read your mind and turn you to scrap… We've been on Earth way too long… Or, maybe just me.'

"Trying to contact someone who will deliver us from this green nightmare," Answered the teen, still clicking away, "I'm advising them not to shoot you on sight, considering you haven't crushed me yet, and all."

Okay, now that was unexpected. If he was calling for help, why not bring in the whole cavalry, guns blazing to wipe him out? It was standard protocol for the 'Cons.

The helicopter wasn't sure what to do with this information. Showing reluctance to fight him, of all bots was… strange. To say the least.

"You're not gonna let them shoot at me?" Verification would be good at this point.

"That's right," Carlos answered, finally hanging up with a message back from Rad to sit tight and try to avoid setting the lunatic off. Easy enough, considering he hadn't done it already. Perhaps Cyclonus didn't want to hurt him, maybe he was having too good a time just inanely staring at Carlos, with a comment thrown in here and there?

"That sounds awfully… generous. What's in it for you?" Cyclonus continued, one of his optic ridges lifting suspiciously as the boy stared right on back at him, almost amused at the whirly-bird's uncertainty. Actually, he was highly amused; he just did a good job masking it. Sometimes, paying attention to Grindor's opinions on psychological warfare paid-off.

"Nothing, really, it's just if they blow you up, I might feel a little guilty afterwards, that's all." Carlos said nonchalantly.

"But, I'm your enemy, you should want me dead!"

The dark male grinned, shaking his head a little at the confused bot, "Yes, you're my enemy and in your mind, perhaps I should want you dead, but I don't. I don't believe in killing the enemy, no matter how much harm they could cause me."

Tilting his head, Cyclonus contemplated this. Not killing the enemy was a strange concept to him. It wasn't in his programming to show mercy at the sight of a weakened enemy.

'Humans are freaks.'

"You look confused, man."

"I'm not—I… Alright, I am…"

This gave the human cause to give a short bark of laughter. For once he knew something the enemy didn't, and this gave him a bit of an ego boost. Though, perhaps if he explained, it might give him something to do before the Autobots got there. Who knows, maybe he'd even like it?

"Well, what are you confused about?"

Shuffling around a little and making absolutely sure that one of his teammates weren't in the immediate area, Cyclonus tried to weed out all the obvious questions from his mind and spoke his words carefully. He didn't want to look entirely inept, considering that he'd probably be mocked by the humans should the one in his hand mention it to the others… or the Autobrats…

"You're my enemy, but you're saying you don't believe in killing the enemy. So, is that to say that if the time came and I was at your mercy, you wouldn't kill me in any way, shape or form?"

"That's right."

"Then, what would you do with me?"

"… Well, that would depend on the situation. If it were up to me, I'd probably just… I don't know, set you free or bring you in for questioning. Whichever came first or was needed in that situation." Carlos answered truthfully, searching the sky distractedly, hoping he could get out of there, suddenly.

"Set me free? Just me or does this pertain to all the Decepticons?" That ought to stump him. Not all of the Decepticons deserved mercy. At least, not to Cyclonus.

"All Decepticons," Carlos answered immediately, without hesitation.

"Does this include Megatron?"

"Uh-huh."

"…. Okay, I don't know what sick game you're playing with me here, but knock it off! Nobody in their right mind would spare Megatron if they had a choice. If I, Primus forbid, ever became an Autobot, I wouldn't even keep him alive! Who would?"

"Let's see," Carlos contemplated, crossing off the candidates with his fingers, "Me, Rad, Alexis, Billy, definitely Fred, erm… Maybe Red Alert, Hot Shot, Sideswipe… Optimus—"

"Stop right there!" Cyclonus ordered, pointing his left hand finger at the human, as though he'd caught him in his first lie ever, "There is now way that Optimus Prime would pass up letting Megatron die if he had the chance! They've been enemies for millions of years!"

"And yet, they're both still alive. Millions of chances to destroy each other and they're both still standing. What does that say about your theory?" The Spaniard grinned, crossing his arms in a sort of know-it-all fashion.

Every processor in the helicopter's frame was trying to find an answer to this that could work in his favor. And nothing was coming back in the correct fashion. Why hadn't Lord Megatron killed the Autobot commander yet? And why hadn't Optimus killed Megatron?

He was so going to have a headache later.

"Personally," Carlos continued, "I think they'd both be really sad if the other died. As Billy Shakespeare said, the quality of mercy is not strained. Even between enemies as old as them. Heck, if this war of yours hadn't screwed them both up so much, they'd probably be friends."

'That's a disturbing thought.' Cyclonus thought inwardly, but caused him to outwardly cackle at the image forming in his head.

Carlos smiled as Cyclonus let forth his usual manic form of laughter. He really didn't seem that dangerous from this position and deep, deep down, the boy was glad.

All of a sudden, ricocheting around the trees like the echo of bats, they both heard the call of two familiar bots coming in from two different directions.

One was Hot Shot, obviously come for Carlos and the other, the boy was pretty sure, was Starscream for Cyclonus. And Starscream did not sound very happy.

Lucky for the human, Hot Shot sounded closer and was coming in from a direction Carlos could find very easily. Thus, giving a hardy salute to the whirly-bird, Carlos turned and leapt from the mech's palm, running in the direction of his taller, yellow friend. Running up a slight incline of rotting, fallen trees.

With something possessing him, Carlos turned back for a slight moment and called back to Cyclonus, "Adios, amigo!" And sped to where his friend was calling for him, disappearing into the foliage. Some of the dead leaves being kicked up by the wind in his wake, glistening in the sun.

Cyclonus himself, just sort of… paused for a moment. Not minding the screechy calls of his other flight-friendly teammate.

A grin spread across his face, not the usual manic, insane grin, but a sort of peaceful one. Almost friendly…

'Humans are freaks, but sort of… interesting.'

He'd be keeping a closer eye on that human, that was for sure and certain.