Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock or any of it's characters. Ownership goes respectfully to the BBC and Moftiss.

Warnings: Stupid, silly, and has absolutely no point. No, seriously, there is no point to this, so if you're reading it because you think there's going to be some big revelation and huge character development, then I'm going to have to disappoint you. Also, some swearing, but then again, it's John. It's also very, very short. Perhaps slightly cracky.


Sherlock
Ficlet
Where's Billy?

Summary: Mrs. Hudson has once again took Billy the skull from his mantle and Sherlock wants him back. Where'd she put him this time?


"Sherlock? What are you doing?"John asked as he looked at the mess his flatmate had made. Papers were strewn across the floor, the bookshelves had been relieved of their burden of Sherlock's numerous texts, and he thought he saw a few case files and latex gloves thrown in there somewhere. It didn't surprise him anymore. He's gotten so used to seeing cut off fingers in the butter tub and eyeballs in cups of tea (and one cup of coffee) that he, frankly, had stopped giving a shit.

Sherlock didn't acknowledge him right away, seemingly too busy burying his head in a box of files, so John called to him again, stepping over a wayward coffee mug.

"Sherlock! What in blazes are you doing?"

"Mrs. Hudson took my skull." Sherlock said, finally standing and turning towards John. John raised a brow.

"Is that my stethoscope?" Sherlock blinked, then looked down at the object around his neck.

"Oh, yes, I was using it to see if any of the boxes I shook made any exrta noise. I know you hate when I make a mess."

"Then what the hell is all this?" John deadpanned, gesturing around the room that looked like it had been faced with one of Lestrade's drug busts. Again.

"Oh, this. Using the stethoscope took too long, so I just decided to open them anyway. It's saved me hours of looking."

And gave me hours of cleaning, but John didn't mention that. It was a pointless battle anyway.

With a sigh, he plopped down into his armchair. He reached over and pulled his laptop into his lap and opened it, ready to look at the comments on his blog and possibly update it. He shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, but just couldn't seem to. He even gave a little bounce.

"Sherlock, did you do anything to the cushion while I was out?" The detective stopped digging around in their poor fireplace and whipped his head around. In seconds he was next to John and plunging his sooty hand down between the cushion and John. Reality didn't even hit John until he felt his friend's long fingers groping his bum.

"Fuck! Give a bloke some warning!" Sherlock didn't answer except for a noise of triumph as he pulled the familiar skull from where John had been sitting mere moments before.

"There you are Billy," Sherlock actually looked like he'd just found his favorite toy,"That must have been suffocating."

"I hope you remember that a skull doesn't have lungs." A bemused John said, but was ignored in favor of Sherlock cooing over Billy's liberation from the seat cushion. Then the detective turned and walked back into his room, still murmuring over the human cranium. John looked back at his chair.

"That soot better come out, Sherlock!" John sighed and looked around at the rat's nest of a living room. Deciding he didn't have the energy nor the patience to start cleaning, he instead grabbed his laptop and sat himself on the coffee table corner, the only clean surface left.


Something silly that I'd thought I'd post. I have no point to making this. It was literally written within an hour (I think), then I gradually came back over a week to make some edits here and there. Nothing real big either. So, despite this, hopefully some of you like it. There's another one like this that I'll probably post as a second chapter to this one, but it'll be a few days. It will be posted regardless, seeing as it's almost done and I might as well, instead of letting it gather dust, the poor thing. Anyway, all concrit is appreciated and welcomed. Hopefully this gets a smile out of one of you. ;) (By the way, is ficlet even a legit term anymore? Oh well, I'm using it anyway. It sounds cute.)

Sincerely,

Fallen L. Angel