A few days ago Hiccup had all the times they kissed counted. Times they touched hands. Times she moved hair from his face. He wasn't really counting hugs, because, luckily, there were too many. Thanks to all the gracious gods, he was already starting to loose count with the rest too.
How did it happen, again?
Of course he knew by heart every detail of how it happened, but how did it happen?
Yeah, it made sense, it was long time coming, it was no surprise to anyone. But it was just unbelievable. He knew it was real, but he couldn't feel it. Wait, no. He could feel it, because he was happiest he's been in his life, and what other reason for that than getting the heart of love of his life, duh, but he could not accept the fact, that it did really happen. Wait, no, that's not true at all, he was accepting the fact as much as you possibly can accept anything.
Whatever. If thinking about courting her every second of his life is going to help, then he is on the right track, so no worries.
But there still are other worries.
Like what exactly does she expect from this relationship?
Yes, if he was to give himself an advise, he would without a doubt advise himself asking her. But there is theory and then there is practice.
There was another tiny detail – to lead conversation like this properly, he should know what he wants. Generally he does know, of course. He wants to be with her. Kiss her. Hold her. Merry her and have a lot of naughty kids someday.
But this is just generally speaking. The question he is facing today is how far he can go with her with… stuff.
Twelfth time they've kissed after starting the relationship he kind of put his tongue on her lip, just to see what happens. It could always pass as his typical clumsiness. (Real masterplan, Hiccup, you should be proud). And it worked good. Next day they were exchanging open-mouth kisses on her initiative.
Wait, maybe it was just on her initiative, maybe he did pass as clumsy.
Anyway. Real problems ahead.
So while they explore each other dental cavities, what to do with his hands? Put them on her back? High? Low? Maybe just touch her sides? Or is that not enough? If any of this options is not fine with her, he cannot ask her if it is, because she would know then, that he was planning on doing something that is not fine with her. But what if she wants to go further and he is not doing enough?
"I know it's normal for you to work all day and not talk to anyone, but I wanted to check on you anyway" she said coming into his hut and putting him off of his thoughts.
He stood up from his desk and came closer to her.
"But you are not mad for me? Am I spending too little time with you? If I am, tell me, I'll find more time. You know, I have stuff to do with…"
"Your secret project" she said smiling.
"Yes, exactly. Are you mad?"
She put her hand on his back and her head on his arm.
"No, not at all. And am I not disturbing you? Also you really don't have to be this insecure, I love you."
"You are never disturbing."
Just after he finished saying that, he had her lips on his. That was good. Great even.
"You would never say I am, but you might need time to work…"
"No, really, I'm too tired now to do anything more anyway. Might as well go to sleep. Really."
That wasn't the truest thing in the world, but it wasn't also a complete lie.
"If you say so." Even if she knew he just wanted to spend time with her more than he wanted to work, she just went with it.
Now they were fully holding one another. And before he went back to the point of his considerations about putting his hands on her back, she spoke again.
"You want to keep standing like that? Maybe we'll sit back on your bed as always?"
„Always" had a bit different definition than usually in this sentence, meaning maybe a week, but whatever, really.
He said nothing, just took her hand and went with her to the bed, where she automatically sat on his lap and started kissing him. Yes, open-mouthed. That was good. Very good. The best.
The best until she did something different. She took his arms and pushed him gently on the bed, placing herself on top of him. That was new definition of best. He took his legs (leg and a prosthetic, of course) from the floor and now they were just lying, her on top of him, on his bed kissing passionately. He could feel the weight of her body, but it was not a problem at all. It was amazing. The best. If she will come to her senses and break up with him, he will at least have this moment to remember.
But his thoughts came back, and with even more power.
She did that, so it is fine. He can feel fer breasts on his chest, so it has to be fine with her too. Unless she is not fully aware what he can feel in this position. But also she really is fine with lying on top of him in his bed.
He had his hands on her back, caressing it gently and thinking if he should move them lower or not.
"You are petting my back like you would pet a dragon."
Maybe. Maybe he really was doing that. Too much time with animals, too little time making out with Astrid. Where was Toothless anyway? Not here for sure, and that was most important at the moment. Caught, he made a joke out of it and scratched her just behind the ear.
They went back to kissing. But just for a moment. This time it was Hiccup to use mouth in a worse way.
"Okay, I was wondering for a while now. When we are like this, where do you want me to touch you?"
"I don't know, I don't have a list, you muttonhead. I'm not overthinking everything like you do."
"Yeah, but… Is it okay like this?" he touched her bum through the skirt.
"It is."
He lost all ideas for things to say, so he started kissing her again, not on mouth this time, but starting on the chin and going all over her face. All the time keeping his hand where they were.
And it was good... Kind of.
Okay, it was getting awkward for him. He moved his hand higher and twisted to his side, getting Astrid on the bed. This way he was not touching her breasts or bum in anyway. Unexpectedly, it made the experience better for him. Less awkward. Just sweet and loving.
"Are you really fine with us touching this way? Am I not doing anything wrong?"
"I am fine." she said cuddling to his chest.
He breathed in deeply.
"So it turns out I'm not fine." He waited until she looked him in the eyes, and then looked down himself. "I'm too ashamed to touch you… places. I'm sorry I'm weird. I've beeen giving this way too much thought and I just feel stressed and…"
"Hiccup, it's okay. It really is."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, I just want you to be happy, stop overthinking it and let yourself behave the way you feel. You really feel."
He kissed her forehead.
"I love you. I used to think that I cannot love you more, but I do everyday since we are together."
"And I love you."
They went back to kissing, happier than before.