Shades of Recovery

Ch. 1 Return of the Native

AN: What if Ana is a troubled young woman that Christian fell in love with? Her demons caused Ana to leave shortly after Christian declared his love for her. After a year apart, she decides to return and give their relationship another chance. Can Ana heal his broken heart and start again?

Christian's POV

I'm attending yet another conference on solar powered PDAs. It's the only thing that gets me excited these days. I've heard many good ideas about the latest tech designs and my team wants to move ahead with a template. A project like this will distract me from my empty shell of a body.

My heart feels like a stone since Ana left me nearly one year ago today. We've had no contact during this time though I've tried to lure her into a visit or, perhaps a conversation, numerous times. My brother, Elliott, thinks I need to get laid. I know that won't help as sex without love no longer fulfills me on any level. She's ruined me for any of that BDSM shit that I used to rely upon for release.

At the end of the day, there's a wine and fruit/cheese reception. I'm absently drinking my second glass of cabernet and chatting with a young man who has insights about solving receptivity problems on the solar phones. He may be my next hire. I'm half listening to him in an attempt to be polite. But I really want to get wasted tonight to dull the pain in my poor, neglected psyche. Why can't I let her go?

She left me. Just walked out; shortly after I declared my undying love for her. Perhaps Ana couldn't handle the idea of a committed relationship with me. Maybe it was the concept of loving another person that drove her from me. Poor broken Ana. I thought I could erase the pain of her abusive childhood. What a fool I was to imagine that my care and mentoring would heal her. I conjure up an image of her lovely face on the day she walked out on me. It reflected nothing but fear and possibly, revulsion. My life has not been the same since she left. I keep busy but I'm just going through the motions.

I take another swallow of wine as I reflect on my broken angel. I look across the room and note that my security detail, Taylor and Sawyer, are signaling me. Just as I am about to inquire about their concerns, I feel that familiar electricity. There's a hand on the small of my back and it's firing all the endorphins in my brain. It's the most soothing touch I've felt in a year. I never want this jolt to stop. Perhaps this feeling is due to the wine I've been drinking. If so, I need to order a case of it.

I turn toward the source of the electrical charge. I nearly shudder from shock when I discover that the charge emanates from the very person I've been questing after for the past year. It's really Ana. She looks at me with those adorable blue eyes and smiles sweetly. Her dark hair cascades down her arms to the middle of her back. How can someone so psychologically damaged appear so innocent and lovely?

"Christian," her dusky voice sounds exactly like the one from my dreams, "it's great to see you again."

"Ana, what are you doing in Seattle? …Why are you attending this conference?" Is about all that I can manage to ask. She's so enticing in this moment of contact.

"I've moved back to the city of flowers. I'm not attending the conference. I called your office and they informed me of your presentation at this conference today." She smiles warmly again and all I want to do is hold her. Yes…hold her, love her, kiss her…forever. She's dressed well and looks incredibly strong and healthy.

"You…came here to see me?" I'm incredulous that Ana sought me out, after all this time. "Why?"

"Christian, I missed you, baby." She pulls herself into my side with a warm hug. The close contact with Ana sends every synapse in my body into action. I feel complete for the first time in ages. She's my drug.

By this time, Taylor and Sawyer have made their way to us. They appear concerned and anxious about Ana's presence. "Sir, can we assist you in any way?" Taylor asks in a manner that implies I could be in danger. They know how desperately broken I became when Ana left me last year. I want to command them to remove her arm from my body. If I had a rational mind or body, I would ask them to escort her from the reception. How dare she disrupt my life again?

I'm a fool though. Who am I kidding? What sort of empty life have I been living for the past year? I look at Ana and melt. My arm reaches out and pulls her to me. It feels heavenly, satisfying and wonderful to touch her again. "No, I'll be fine," I assure them knowing nothing of the sort is true. She'll ruin me but I cannot resist her siren's call. My hand wraps around her slender shoulder and I feel her warmth.

"Let's get out of here," Ana suggests as she tugs on my waist. "Do you have a room here at the hotel?"

"Actually, I've rented the penthouse in order to interview potential job candidates…Would you like to come up and talk? Tell me what you've been doing for the past year?" I cannot believe she's here.

What the hell am I doing inviting her to my room? I'm doomed if I find myself alone with her again. Of course, that's exactly what I want. Perhaps Taylor should chaperone us in the penthouse. How can this mere 5'5", 23 year old wisp of a woman turn me, a multimillionaire CEO of the largest company in Seattle, into a mass of quivering desire.

Ana chuckles softly and touches my arm. "Oh, Christian, talking can come later. I've missed you so much. You look irresistible. What I want, right now, is…you." She's saying all the right words. The words that I've imagined in countless dreams of reconciliation that I've experienced for the last several months. I look at her in disbelief. She kisses my cheek and pets the side of my face. I pull her into the side hallway of the reception hall and look deeply into her wide, needy eyes. I cannot believe she's here, at last.

She chooses that moment to launch herself at me. Her tongue finds mine and I'm lost in the kiss. It's all I can do keep from ripping her clothes off in the corridor. My breathing accelerates as our kiss deepens. We stumble to the elevators in a haze. I don't care if Taylor, Sawyer and half of the convention sees our display. She's all I've ever wanted for the longest time. She's the only living soul who can quench my fire. How have I ceded all the control to her…her body, mind, and being?

It's no use trying to resist. I'm like a man who has gone too long without water, food or sustenance. Somehow, we find ourselves outside my room. I fumble with my key card while she pulls on the lapels of my jacket. Once we're in the privacy of my suite, she tugs my tie down and I assist her in removing it. Next, comes my jacket. It's pushed to the floor in a matter of seconds. The feeling of her hands on my chest and arms sends me into ecstasy. She kisses my neck and then begins unbuttoning my white shirt.

My hands seem to be wandering over her torso with abandon. She's so compact and fit. I feel the taut muscles of her derriere and move up to her slender waistline while kissing her neck and shoulders. When my fingers explore the outline of her breasts, she lets out a sigh of pleasure that instantly hardens me. We stand and massage each other's bodies for several moments while simultaneously kissing. It's the most soothing feeling I've experienced in so long.

Her small hands have now worked my shirt off and they're heading for my belt. Once she's removed those items, I'm her slave. I lift her in my arms and lower our bodies onto my generous-sized bed. I shove my designer pants off in a flurry as she reclines against the pillows on my duvet. She's still fully dressed. I move over her to assist in the removal of her dress. It's snug, expensive and form fitting. I start at the hem and slowly tug it up and over her head. She's cooperating and wiggles it the last few inches off. Her dazzling smile says she's ready for me.

I'm dressed only in my undershirt and boxers. She's wearing designer underwear and looks delectable. I pull back the duvet and push it to the end of the bed. I pull myself in between her legs and place both arms on either side of her torso. Is Ana really writhing beneath me with sexual desire, on my bed, at this moment? Perhaps I've become delusional in the last week or so. If this is a delusion, bring it on. Having Ana in my bed feels so right.

We kiss and touch each other's torsos for a bit before I remove her bra and then my undershirt. The contact between our naked chests sends sparks through my system. I lick and suck her nipples while she gently rubs her hands on my back and shoulders in encouragement. She moans with meaning and moves from side to side with need. Her legs wrap around my waist. This location is exactly what I've dreamed of for the past year or so.

"Let's get really naked, baby," she urges and pushes my boxers off with the toes of her feet. The thought of dislodging her legs from around my body disturbs me. I merely rip her thong off and toss it to the side of my bed. My member pokes up solidly between us and searches for its familiar connection. We've made love hundreds of times in the past; it never gets old.

"Oh, Christian, you feel so good," she gushes as she guides me into the right location with her hand. She's certainly wet and ready. I glide into her opening smoothly and look down at her face. She looks angelic and thrilled as I fill her to the hilt.

"Ana. I've missed you so, darling." I want to stop the words from escaping my mouth because I might regret them when we're done here but they come tumbling out nonetheless.

We begin our lovemaking slowly as I rock her up and down beneath me. Her eyes close and her mouth opens slightly as she clenches me within her and lifts her hips to meet my thrusts. I pick up the pace of our encounter. She throws her head back on the pillow. I want her to beg me for more. She does not disappoint me. Her hands and fingers now dig into the skin of my shoulders. They feel marvelous.

"Christian, baby, please go faster," she urges me and pushes her fingers down my back. I comply and thrust into her repeatedly. I note that she's tensing beneath me and ready to let go. I push my elbows into the mattress beside her and slam with one last effort into her lovely body.

She screams my name in delight as she comes undone around me. "Oh, Christian…Christian," she utters with abandon as her orgasm consumes her. I smile with satisfaction as her release triggers my own. I release myself into her and fall with exhaustion onto her exquisite frame. I kiss her neck and face repeatedly as I recover from my quick trip to nirvana. Then I roll off of her and prop myself beside her. I'm sure my delighted smile looks ridiculous. She turns on her side and looks at me with joy in her wide eyes.

How can I just let her just waltz back into my bed without any explanation? For the moment, I don't care. I am home, in her arms, which is exactly where I've wanted to be for the past year. We both doze for a while before round number two of our sexual reconciliation begins.

AN: IT BREAKS MY HEART BUT I'VE HAD TO REMOVE MOST OF THIS STORY BECAUSE IT'S PUBLISHED ON KDP (FOUR SHADES OF RECOVERY BY JS LUXOR). I'LL CONTINUE TO ADD UPDATES FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO'VE READ MOST OF IT. I LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK AND YOU'VE BEEN GREAT. THANK YOU!