Hello guys!
This is my first Merlin/Morgana story. It's a Modern!AU.
My current head-canon is picked from "The Forgetful Reincarnation" by ErinNovelist: it's the best story I've ever read. SPOILERS for the first chapter of her story: she wrote that Morgana had been enchanted by Morgause and was redeemed after crying tears of true sorrow after Mordred's death. Merlin killed her and put her in the boat next to Arthur. Then he tried to bring Arthur back but he made a spell with a promise of life instead of life itself. He died due to an excessive use of magic. All the characters are reincarnated from Merlin's spell. You should really read it, it's amazing.
DISCLAIMER: Merlin belongs to BBC Network. The aforementioned head-canon is picked from ErinNovelist's story with her permission. I only own my ideas and my stupid brain.
Here's the story!
It started with a fall.
Well, not really. He actually crashed into her and began blabbing things like "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm really clumsy," and then "I'm Merlin," and how could she possibly know that this large-eared boy would change her life?
Morgana had always been the strong-willed, clever and stunningly beautiful girl, the unreachable lady in the tallest tower of the castle. A little flirt with someone, a kiss with someone else, a night with that sexy football player. But that was it. Nothing serious, nothing durable. Nothing to do with what people called "love".
And then he had arrived, the strange new kid from a different school, with that cheeky grin of his and those oh-so-amazing bright blue eyes.
After the 'accident', as she loved to call it, she had quickly forgotten about him. But not two days later, her stupid half-brother had brought home that familiar lanky boy to study together as a punishment because they had gotten into a fight.
A fight with Arthur? He must be really stupid, because, really, no one in their right mind would ever get into a fight with Arthur, and not being as skinny as him. "He was being a prat," he had told her when questioned.
She decided he was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid and that she liked him anyway.
They became close with time, as he had strangely became Arthur's best friend - not that they would ever admit that.
They played matchmakers for Arthur and Gwen, Morgana's childhood friend, and listened together as the latter rambled about not knowing if she loved Arthur or Lancelot, or maybe both.
At the end, they had pushed Lancelot in the arms of the kind and beautiful Elena, and Arthur had finally gotten his Gwen.
One day, while they were sitting on a bench outside their school, chatting about the two lovebirds, she had suddenly found her face incredibly close to his, and she could almost hear his heartbeat increasing.
Had he always been that handsome? And had his eyes always been that blue? She just knew that in a moment her lips were on his and, oh God, they were kissing! And her heart could have jumped out of her chest because he's kissing me back!
And what a kiss! It wasn't that different from the others, but it made her heart beat faster, and that was just enough.
They had finished high school and he had begun to study medicine. She had chosen literature, in the same university he was attending.
She had moved in with him and it was in one of those cold-winter nights, in his arms, that she had found out he had been having the same strange dreams - nightmares, really - she had.
He was a great magician, and she was an evil witch, and they loved each other but could never, ever be together. So they had fought and, eventually, he had killed her.
The first time she had died in her dreams, she had woken up screaming and he had been there, embracing her in a heartwarming hug.
She was there when he had woken up crying that Arthur, oh God, Arthur is dead!
And she was there when he had told her that in his last dream, the magician had cast a spell to make everyone reincarnate and give them a second chance, and had then died due to the excessive use of magic.
They thought it was strange, having the same dreams - but it was probably just a casuality, a coincidence.
"Maybe it's destiny, that we met and that we have the same dreams. Maybe those dreams are meant to tell us what we shouldn't do," he had said once.
"And what is it, my dear magician, that we shouldn't do?"
He had thought about it for a minute, declaring that they should never part.
She had promised she would never leave him, because he loved him with all her heart.
He had said that he would never leave her, even if he wanted to, because he physically couldn't since he would die without her.
She had been left speechless and had spent the night awake in his arms, hearing his soft breathing and wondering what had she done to deserve someone as perfect as him.
She had just finished her studies, when he had arrived home, beaming and laughing, because his uncle had just taken him as apprentice.
He had scooped her in his arms, twirling her around and kissing her now and then, and they had laughed together, without a worry in the world.
And she had just finished writing her first book when he had asked her to marry him.
It wasn't romantic, it wasn't poetic or anything like that.
He had slipped while running in the rain and had broken his leg, getting a vacation. She had been cooking for him that evening, the roast beef he loved so much. He had been watching her strangely in the past days, almost studying her.
"You're beautiful," he had said. She had laughed, because her hair was tied in a messy bun and she had splotches of food on her face and clothes. But he had still found her beautiful.
And suddenly that "Marry me," had stopped her heart. She had dropped the wooden spoon and had turned around so quickly she had almost slipped. Great, she had thought, now I'm the clumsy one.
He had repeated his proposal and she had jumped on him, sending them both sprawling on the floor. He had emitted a pained laugh, accusing her of attempted murder while she kissed him.
The 'romantic' and 'poetic' result was a re-broken leg and a scolding by the doctor for his carelessness. It wasn't like they cared, though, because they're getting married in a few months!
The ceremony hadn't been pompous or anything like her father desired. There had been less than a hundred of invited, their relatives and closest friends.
She had opted for a simple, white, sleeveless dress, with a flower on the side. Her gloves reached her elbow.
Merlin, dressed in a black tuxedo, thought she was the most wonderful thing he had ever laid eyes upon.
Uther was leading her towards the aisle and he tried to close his mouth, sure that she was an angel fallen from the sky and soon he would wake up and find out that she had been just his dream.
But she wasn't, and soon they had their hands linked and were repeating their vows. He put the ring on her pale finger, and she did the same to him.
"You may kiss the bride."
Yeah, like he needed to have the permission to do that.
Morgana had been feeling off for some time when Merlin told her that he had an emergency at the hospital and he needed to go.
It was late and she had a bad feeling about that day, but she just nodded and kissed him goodbye. "I love you," she whispered, even if it was superfluous to tell him so.
"You already know that I love you," he answered, chuckling and kissing her forehead, before he left.
It was in the middle of the night, while she was alone in the bed trying not to think of the storm outside, that the phone rang. "Yes?"
"Morgana? It's Gaius, Merlin's uncle," the voice said, trembling slightly. "Can you come at the hospital? Something... Something's happened to him."
She arrived quickly, desperate to know how her husband was, finding a disheveled Arthur pacing and a wet-eyed Gwen trying to soothe Gaius.
She tried to calm her racing heart. "Where is he?"
Her brother turned towards her, explaining that the emergency Merlin had been called was for a woman who needed a bone marrow transplant. Sadly, there hadn't been any potential match and the woman's husband had been redy to do everything for her. He had threatened the hospital staff with a gun. A young nurse had been trying to explain the situation, when the woman had been victim of a cardiac arrest and had died. The man, furious, had pulled the trigger.
"Merlin jumped in the path of the bullet and was hit in the chest, just above the heart. The bullet punctured a lung. The wound is really bad, but the real danger is the blood loss. He couldn't be operated before the man was restrained. He has lost a lot of blood. We have to... We have to be prepared for the worst," Arthur had explained, voice breaking at the end.
She was shocked. Just a few hours earlier Merlin had been in her arms, and now he was fighteing for his life.
Had she listened to her bad feeling and told Merlin to stay at home, would he still be unharmed?
She was trembling, tears streaming down her cheeks, not noticing that Arthur had led her to a seat and was hugging her.
She cried and prayed and cried and prayed all the night, but it was useless. The surgeon came out and shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he hasn't made it."
She could swear she had felt her heart miss a beat as her life crumbled into thousands of pieces.
Arthur and Gwen had brought her in their house that day, fearing that her own could bring back too many painful memories.
She had cried herself to sleep, waking up after a few hours due to a nightmare, just to find that it wasn't a nightmare at all. And she had cried herself to sleep again.
After a week, she had told them she was ready. She was determined to go back and live in their- her house.
And she was close to do that when she saw a photo of their wedding day that took her breath away. She had the biggest smile on her face while Merlin was grinning and hugging her. She felt tears stinging her eyes and fell on her knees, sobbing madly.
Arthur hugged her, with tears in his eyes. "Merlin, why do you always have to be a self-sacrificing idiot?"
If Morgana had been feeling off before Merlin died, now she just felt ill. She had been sick three times that day already and had been feeling drowsy since she woke up. So, she called Gwen and was now occupied at staring unbelievingly at her best friend. "What?!"
"I asked you if your period is late," she repeated patiently.
Yes, it was. She hadn't had the chance to think about it, but her period was almost two months late. Shit.
"Yes. No. No. It can't be," she babbled, panicking.
Gwen asked her if she had done the test, and she answered that it hadn't even crossed her mind that she could be... But no, she wasn't. I can't be.
"I'll go to buy one. Be a good girl and wait for me," the dark-skinned woman ordered.
She sat frozen in her armchair, rocking and clutching at the necklace Merlin had given her on their last anniversary. She took it off and studied it. But it slipped out of her trembling hands, falling on the ground. She yelled and picked it up, thinking it was broken. "What...?"
The heart-shaped locket had opened with the fall and had formed two hearts. On the right, there was a photo, the one they had taken on the day he proposed, with Merlin trying to smile through the pain of his broken leg and herself grinning and showing her engagement ring to the camera; on the left there was an inscription:
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever.
I love you more than anything else in this world, Morgana.
Yours,
Merlin the Magician
That was a citation of her favorite author, Nicholas Sparks, and he had remembered it.
She burst into tears. "The time I had with you, Merlin, has been the best part of my life. You really made me happy," she whispered, kissing the photo.
And that was how Gwen found her, kneeling on the ground and crying, while clutching her necklace.
The woman helped Morgana to take the test and hugged her during the waiting. After some time passed, she went to check it.
"Well?" her friend asked anxiously.
Gwen raised her head. "It's... It's positive."
Morgana felt her heart take pace and placed a hand on her belly. She didn't know how to react. It would be a great moment for any other woman, and for her too, but not now. Not without Merlin.
"I can't do this, I can't," she murmured.
Gwen approached her. "It's going to be alright. You have me and Arthur and many others. We'll help you."
Morgana shook her head. "I need him, Gwen. I need Merlin. It's not just the... pregnancy that worries me. It's the rest if my life. How am I supposed to go on? It's been a month. Just a month. And it's been a living hell. I don't have the strength. I need him. I can't do this without him," she sobbed.
"You have someone else to fight for, someone else who'll give you the strength you need. This," Gwen said, touching her friend's belly. "This, is Merlin's last gift. You have to go on for your baby, Morgana. You are the strongest woman I've ever met. You'll find the strength. And remember, you're not alone. You're never alone."
Months passed, and eventually the moment came. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Gwen was right next to her.
"Look at him," she said, her voice breaking. "He's just like his father."
Her son was Merlin's spitting copy: long and skinny, black-haired and blue-eyed with giant and cute ears.
She decided to call him after his father. She whispered his name, "Merlin..." and he opened his eyes, blinking slowly and focusing on his mother. He closed his tiny hand on her finger and giggled joyfully.
Morgana couldn't help but feel already extremely protective of her tiny son. Her little Merlin. Our son.
"I'm going to look after you, I promise."
Morgana was sitting cross-legged before her husband's grave, with her five-year old son in her lap.
"Hey, daddy! Today's your birthday, so I made a present for you!" the child exclaimed. He took a paper out of his pocket and put it near the flowers Morgana had just placed. It was a drawing of three people. "Look. This," he said, pointing to the smallest figure, "is me. This is mommy. She is very beautiful. And this is you," he continued, pointing first to the long-haired figure and then to the tallest one.
"It's really beautiful, Mer. I'm sure daddy likes it," Morgana told him with a soft smile on her face.
"I hope so. Hey, mommy. Can you tell me how you met him?" the boy asked, curious.
"You really like that story, don't you? So... Once upon a time, there were a great magician and an evil witch..."
She smiled as she recounted her story. And to think it all started with a fall.
Well, not really. He actually crashed into her and began blabbing things like "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm really clumsy," and then "I'm Merlin," and how could she possibly know that this large-eared boy would change her life?
I hope you liked it!
A special thanks to Turnabout Writer, my beta! She checked this story in half an hour, and she's not a Merlin fan! She's great, isn't she?
Bye!
-MildeAmasoj
