To; 'Git' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
Snape is a smelly fart he smells of BO he needs to get a life and some shampoo. Ha ha you can't give me detention because it doesn't mention internet in the school rules! :p Harry
_______________________________________________________________________
To;'Slimy Git' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Knickers
Sad. Greasy. Loner. Git. Kiss my arse, Snapie!. You can't catch me, nah nah nah nah nah! It's not mentioned in the school rules! Ron
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'Annoying Twerp' Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'That stupid Potter Boy' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
Now it is.
Yours,
Professor Snape.
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'Nasty git' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Nevillegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Fwd; Fwd: Fwd; Fwd ;Fwd; Why Snape is a loner
Cc; 'Hermione' Hermionegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk, 'The Fat Lady' FatLady@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Fred Weasley' FredWgryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Secret Crush' MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Harry Potter!!!!' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Suzy' suzyhufflepuff@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Blaize' Blaizeslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
Ever wonder why Snape is such a loner? Look at these ten reasons
1) He's dull
2) He's got greasy hair
3) He gives people detentions
4) He's got no sense of humor
5) He's evil
6) He thinks making people suffer is funny
Now, make a wish for Snape to blow up!
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
*************
**************
***************
**************
*************
************
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
Now, send this to one person; Snape will hurt himself
Send it to 2; he will fall over
Send it to 4; He will accidentally curse himself
Send it to 8 ; He will erupt in boils
Send it to 16; He will blow up unexpectedly
Have fun!
Love,
Neville
Xxx
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'Nerd' nevillegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; YOU IDIOT!!!!
Neville you plonker, you sent it to *him*!! What was the one thing I told you not to do? IDIOT!!!!!
Ron
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'That Potter Boy' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Annoying Twerp' rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , ' Idiot' nevillegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; Fwd;Fwd;Fwd;Fwd;Fwd Why Snape is a loner
Will Weasley, Potter and Longbottom please report to my dungeon immediately to spit clean the cauldrons with their tongues. Longbottom, for your information I am a well respected potions professor with a fashionable haircut, delightful dress sense and positive outlook on life, whereas you are a spotty, infatuated teenager with all the charms and social graces of a homosexual tennis ball.
Yours Agitatedly,
Professor Snape
________________________________________________________________
To; ' Babe' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Matey' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Matey's Mate' rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Boss' Headmaster@hotwarts.co.uk, 'Blaize' Blaiseslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Draco' dracoslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; RubHagrid@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; :)
Is it still on for tonight, Severus? Shall I bring the squirty cream I did last time? I'll meet you in the Library.
All my love,
Hagrid _______________________________________________________________
To; 'That Potter Boy' harrygrffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Gross!
You're humping HAGRID? EEEWWW! I am going to PUKE!
From
Harry ______________________________________________________________
To; 'Star Pupil' dracoslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; ??
What happened to 'us', Severus? I thought you LOVED ME!
Yours Sobbingly
Your Darling Draco
_____________________________________________________________
To; 'Blaize' blaizeslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; *retch*
Oh....My.....GOD! Yuckety Yuck Yuck! PERRRR-UUUKE! Snape and Hagrid? Snape and Draco? I am sooo going to need therapy after this...
Yours sickeningly,
Blaize Z. ______________________________________________________________
To; ' Big Guy' RubHagrid@hogwarts.co.uk
From; harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; (no subject)
Bugger.
Yours,
Hagrid
______________________________________________________________
To; 'Honeybunch' RubHagrid@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; (no subject)
I can't believe you can be so stupid as to send the email to everyone in your address book again. I refuse to have anything more to do with you.
Yours maddeningly,
Severus
_______________________________________________________________
To; 'Severus' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Headmaster@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; !!!!!
I didn't know your bread was buttered that side, Severus.
Yours amusedly
Albus
______________________________________________________________
To; 'That Potter Boy' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Annoying Twerp' rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Albus' Headmaster@hotwarts.co.uk, 'Blaize' Blaiseslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Star Pupil' dracoslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; re; (no subject)
I wish to state that I have no connection other than a business one with Mr Rubeus Hagrid. He is a large annoying fool who likes to send joke emails out. I shall see to it that he is removed from the premesis as soon as possible.
As for you, Draco, please keep your peverted fantasies to yourself.
Yours smugly,
Professor Snape
________________________________________________________________
To; 'Albus' Headmaster@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; !!!!!
It's NOT.
Yours pissed-offedly
Severus
________________________________________________________________
To; ' Kinky' MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Tonight?
Are you busy tonight? I've had rather a hectic evening and I think I am in need of some loving...
Yours Lovingly,
Sevvie
__________________________________________________________________
To; 'Hunky' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; Tonight?
Nope, sorry. Sense and Sensibility is on tonight and I won't miss it, not even for you, darling.
Yours apologetically,
Minnie
XxX ___________________________________________________________________
To; 'Kinky' MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; re; Tonight?
Sometimes I think you're only being my girlfriend because I look like the bloke who plays Colonel Brandon.
Yours Upsettedly
Sevvie
_____________________________________________________________________
To; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re;re;re; Tonight?
Yes
_____________________________________________________________________
To; 'Hunky' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re;re;re;re Tonight?
I mean, No.
Yours lovingly,
Minnie _____________________________________________________________________
***At this point Snape blew up the server and no further emails were sent that evening***
From; Harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
Snape is a smelly fart he smells of BO he needs to get a life and some shampoo. Ha ha you can't give me detention because it doesn't mention internet in the school rules! :p Harry
_______________________________________________________________________
To;'Slimy Git' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Knickers
Sad. Greasy. Loner. Git. Kiss my arse, Snapie!. You can't catch me, nah nah nah nah nah! It's not mentioned in the school rules! Ron
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'Annoying Twerp' Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'That stupid Potter Boy' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
Now it is.
Yours,
Professor Snape.
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'Nasty git' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Nevillegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Fwd; Fwd: Fwd; Fwd ;Fwd; Why Snape is a loner
Cc; 'Hermione' Hermionegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk, 'The Fat Lady' FatLady@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Fred Weasley' FredWgryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Secret Crush' MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Harry Potter!!!!' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Suzy' suzyhufflepuff@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Blaize' Blaizeslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
Ever wonder why Snape is such a loner? Look at these ten reasons
1) He's dull
2) He's got greasy hair
3) He gives people detentions
4) He's got no sense of humor
5) He's evil
6) He thinks making people suffer is funny
Now, make a wish for Snape to blow up!
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********
*********
**********
***********
************
*************
**************
***************
**************
*************
************
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
Now, send this to one person; Snape will hurt himself
Send it to 2; he will fall over
Send it to 4; He will accidentally curse himself
Send it to 8 ; He will erupt in boils
Send it to 16; He will blow up unexpectedly
Have fun!
Love,
Neville
Xxx
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'Nerd' nevillegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; YOU IDIOT!!!!
Neville you plonker, you sent it to *him*!! What was the one thing I told you not to do? IDIOT!!!!!
Ron
________________________________________________________________________
To; 'That Potter Boy' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Annoying Twerp' rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , ' Idiot' nevillegryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; Fwd;Fwd;Fwd;Fwd;Fwd Why Snape is a loner
Will Weasley, Potter and Longbottom please report to my dungeon immediately to spit clean the cauldrons with their tongues. Longbottom, for your information I am a well respected potions professor with a fashionable haircut, delightful dress sense and positive outlook on life, whereas you are a spotty, infatuated teenager with all the charms and social graces of a homosexual tennis ball.
Yours Agitatedly,
Professor Snape
________________________________________________________________
To; ' Babe' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Matey' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Matey's Mate' rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Boss' Headmaster@hotwarts.co.uk, 'Blaize' Blaiseslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Draco' dracoslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; RubHagrid@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; :)
Is it still on for tonight, Severus? Shall I bring the squirty cream I did last time? I'll meet you in the Library.
All my love,
Hagrid _______________________________________________________________
To; 'That Potter Boy' harrygrffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Gross!
You're humping HAGRID? EEEWWW! I am going to PUKE!
From
Harry ______________________________________________________________
To; 'Star Pupil' dracoslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; ??
What happened to 'us', Severus? I thought you LOVED ME!
Yours Sobbingly
Your Darling Draco
_____________________________________________________________
To; 'Blaize' blaizeslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; *retch*
Oh....My.....GOD! Yuckety Yuck Yuck! PERRRR-UUUKE! Snape and Hagrid? Snape and Draco? I am sooo going to need therapy after this...
Yours sickeningly,
Blaize Z. ______________________________________________________________
To; ' Big Guy' RubHagrid@hogwarts.co.uk
From; harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; (no subject)
Bugger.
Yours,
Hagrid
______________________________________________________________
To; 'Honeybunch' RubHagrid@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; (no subject)
I can't believe you can be so stupid as to send the email to everyone in your address book again. I refuse to have anything more to do with you.
Yours maddeningly,
Severus
_______________________________________________________________
To; 'Severus' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; Headmaster@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; !!!!!
I didn't know your bread was buttered that side, Severus.
Yours amusedly
Albus
______________________________________________________________
To; 'That Potter Boy' harrygryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Annoying Twerp' rongryffindor@hogwarts.co.uk , 'Albus' Headmaster@hotwarts.co.uk, 'Blaize' Blaiseslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk, 'Star Pupil' dracoslytherin@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; re; (no subject)
I wish to state that I have no connection other than a business one with Mr Rubeus Hagrid. He is a large annoying fool who likes to send joke emails out. I shall see to it that he is removed from the premesis as soon as possible.
As for you, Draco, please keep your peverted fantasies to yourself.
Yours smugly,
Professor Snape
________________________________________________________________
To; 'Albus' Headmaster@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; !!!!!
It's NOT.
Yours pissed-offedly
Severus
________________________________________________________________
To; ' Kinky' MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Tonight?
Are you busy tonight? I've had rather a hectic evening and I think I am in need of some loving...
Yours Lovingly,
Sevvie
__________________________________________________________________
To; 'Hunky' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; Tonight?
Nope, sorry. Sense and Sensibility is on tonight and I won't miss it, not even for you, darling.
Yours apologetically,
Minnie
XxX ___________________________________________________________________
To; 'Kinky' MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
From; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re; re; Tonight?
Sometimes I think you're only being my girlfriend because I look like the bloke who plays Colonel Brandon.
Yours Upsettedly
Sevvie
_____________________________________________________________________
To; SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re;re;re; Tonight?
Yes
_____________________________________________________________________
To; 'Hunky' SevSnape@hogwarts.co.uk
From; MinMcGonagall@hogwarts.co.uk
Subject; Re;re;re;re Tonight?
I mean, No.
Yours lovingly,
Minnie _____________________________________________________________________
***At this point Snape blew up the server and no further emails were sent that evening***
