So, I was trying to write the next chapter of Out of Tricks... annnnd I hit a road block. Writer's block, to be precise, right after I finished the segment where Garrus and Co. are off fighting 'dirty pirate', as he put it. So instead of mashing my head against the keyboard any further, I decided to just... let loose and write a bunch of fluffy Normandy crew drabbles.
It's not another chapter of Out of Tricks, but they do take place in the same continuity. That way, not only to I get to play with the crew, I get to establish their bonds more, and I get to play with them before Thracius meets being said, reading Our of Tricks is not necessary to understand any of these. The segment in the next chapter was so much fun to write, these guys just kind of write themselves at times... so... Enjoy the Fluff!^^
ME2
"Hey Legion; what're you doing up here?" Garrus asked as he and Jacob walked into the lab.
"Shepard-Commander suggested a way to better integrate with the crew." the Geth explained. As it did so, it moved one of Mordin's tools slightly to the right. "We are partaking in an annual holiday practiced by humans to demonstrate our understanding of the tradition and bond with the crew."
"Which holiday is that?" Garrus asked as Jacob paled.
"No! She didn't!" he whispered with horror. At that moment, Mordin walked in. The salarian's eyes swept the room once, then went wide... and then, the scientist went as close to looking like he was going to breath fire as he ever had.
"What... did... you... DO!?"
"Garrus Vakarian relocated all unbolted objects in the room approximately an inch to the right." Legion told him. The turian gave him a wide-eyed looked as Mordin's rage turned to him. "We believe the term is 'April Fools'."
ME1
"I couldn't see I was lost at the time..."Garrus pointed at the Commander.
"Yeah, I didn't know I was lost at the time..." he continued passionately.
"On Allison Road..." they all(even Wrex) sang in their very acoustic prison.
Suddenly, the door blew in with a burst of biotics, and they all went silent.
"ON, ALLISON ROOOOOAAAD!" Kaiden repeated in what was admittedly an impressive voice.
"YEAH!" Garrus cheered, and, now free from their metal, wrecked MAKO of a prison, the crew of the Normandy continued to sing Gin Blossoms.
OoT(Out of Trick outtake)
"Now here's what I don't get." Garrus lifted a bag of some sort of dextro fruit. Next to him, Thracius looked up at him, and Tali looked back from further ahead in the aisle.
"The label says ;organic'... but it's a plant. Ho can you get more organic than that?" he asked his wife and son. Tali opened her mouth to say something, then froze.
"You know... I have no idea." she admitted.
Post ME3
"If you want her... you're going to have to be the cheeta." Javik nearly jumped at the sound of the turian's voice.
"The what?" he gave the primitive an incredulous look.
"It's some sort of earth predator." Garrus waved the question off. "Point is... I can tell you want her. So are you really gonna let this thing with Feron happen without a fight?"
The last prothean scowled. He was a little bit right...
"Too much cheeta! Too much cheeta!" Javik had little time to protest(and even less time to gain close-combat leverage against the turian) before he found himself shoved into a closet.
"You should have been more clear on how relationships work in this cycle!" he snapped.
"Yeah, well I forgot the prothean interpretation of 'be the cheeta' was 'pants your rival and hold him upside-down right in front of her'!" Garrus shot back. "The only good thing about this situation is that you were hiding behind the door!"
"Prothean's do not 'hide'." He snorted. "You were the one who told me to do it."
"Yeah, well in this cycle... if the girl you like can biotically rip you apart... HIDE!"
ME2
"So... what up?" Kasumi asked. The two meditators didn't answer. Or move. Not even their breathing changed.
"So, I was talking to Garrus and Shepard, and we all thought it might be a good idea to throw a party this weekend; you know, just to annoy Miranda." She continued breezily. "Waddaya say to that, hmm?"
Still nothing. She sighed.
"See ya, Thane, Samara." She walked out, and skipped away. Pity. I would love to see Thane singing one of Garrus' country songs...
ME1
The cockpit was filled with loud breathing.
"Come to the Dark Side..." Joker rasped menacingly with the emergency helmet on. "We have cookieeeessss..."
"Are they gluten free?" the pilot yelped at the sound of Shepard's voice, and he tore the helmet off so fast the strap snapped back into his face.
"Nope! They've got all the glutens, Commander!" he fumbled to put the mask back. "And I promise, I'll use the mask for good and not for evil from now on!"
"Good man, Flight Lieutenant."
ME2
"GO! GO! GET HIM! KILL HIM DEAD! GO!" Grunt roared.
"Grunt, stop yelling!" Tali scolded.
"YOU don't tell me to calm down!" the krogan snarled.
"Grunt, stop yelling, and stand down; it's just a movie." Shepard ordered sharply. "And really; stand down. Your blocking the view for Kasumi."
"Aww, thank's Shep; always looking out for us little guys!"
"Yeah, well," the tank-born krogan plopped down on the floor with no small noise. "If the Indomninus wins, I'm throwing this movie out the airlock! Only the REAL dinosaurs should get to live on the island!"
ME3
"Ummm... what are you two doing?" Ashley raised an eyebrow in the direction of Garrus and Javik... the former of whom was messing with a device that ostensibly looked radioactive, and the latter of whom was trying to warp some kind of metal with his biotics. They both looked up at her... with all-too similar looks on both their faces.
She immediately didn't like this; Javik was... impressionable. Heck, just staying in port cargo had, at the prothean's own admission, rubbed some of Grunt's personality off on him. If he was hanging out with Garrus long enough that he could copy the trademark manic look the turian was wearing right now...
And what they both answered her with didn't make her feel any better.
"A vaporizer gun."
ME2
They hadn't intended to beat-box. But when things got bored in engineering, well...
"We will, we will, rock you, rock you!" it was like using the bathroom; when you had to go, you had to go.
"We will, we will, rock you! Rock you!" so when you had to sing... you had to sing.
"You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, dragging your-" tools clattered to the ground, and Daniels and Donnely stood to attention as Commander Shepard walked in. Trailing behind him was, of all the things, a quarian. He grinned at them broadly, then looked back at his skittish companion.
"See; they're cool!"
ME1
"Unclean, unclean!" Shepard, Ashley, and Garrus ran through the CIC in a frenzy.
"The showers! Need... shower..."
"Can't breath... too rank..."
"Never be clean, never be clean, never be clean..."
"Guys, what ha-OH... by the... oh..." Liara clasped her hands over her mouth and nose to shield them from the offending odor. A raggedly-breathing Garrus, covered in green entrails, paused by her to gasp a two-worded answer.
"Thorian creepers!"
ME3
"You know, I never get why human women dress so scantily." Garrus commented airily. Allers narrowed her eyes at him.
"I too see little point in it; the more skin you leave exposed, the less armor you wear, the softer of a target you are for your enemies." Javik agreed. She tried to maintain her cool. Dealing with these two on their own was enough of a challenge; being stuck in a shuttle with both of them was terrible, but she would survive.
"Speaking of, Javik; how would you jury rig armor on her if we were to say, crash all on our own out here with no way of communicating the Normandy?"
Or maybe she wouldn't.
So, just thought I would get those off my chest! I might dump more drabbles here later.
If anyone wants to further explore the Tale of the Vaporizer Gun, read the very obviously-titled one-shot you can find in my list of works. For anyone interested in Thracius, or Out of Tricks in general, go ahead and read that, too. Let me know which of these drabbles was your favorite! It certainly helped me get some creative juices flowing. Nothing like drabbles to help with writers block.
Fare Thee Well!
