Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Never have, never will.
I stand here on my eleventh-floor balcony, and look out on the city. Thoughts wander through my mind. Memories of my experiences here, the people I've met, and the things that I've gone through. The wind feels so good as it blows through my hair, like I'm driving a convertible with the top down.
Toji, Kensuke, You two are the closest thing to friends that I've ever had, but when I tried to talk to you about my problems, you could never really understand what I was going through. But even then, you were using me. Toji, you punched me in the face, twice, before you ever even TRIED to be my friend. Kensuke, you used me to live your fantasies vicariously. You didn't care if I lived or died, as long as I gave you information to put on your website. I will forever resent you both for that.
Misato, you are the closest thing that I have ever had to family, and even though you treated me like your own son, you used me. You put me in harms way, while you sat safe and secure in the command center, all so you could take out your personal vendetta against the angels. You tried to reach me, but it still wasn't enough, It wasn't that you didn't reach me that hurts the most, it's that you tried your hardest and you still didn't reach me. You cared about me, but you still used me.
Rei, you never tried to be my friend or treat me like a person.
Wow, it feels like I'm skydiving. The wind just picks up and whips my hair around my head.
Father, you abandoned me when I was 3, and the first words you spoke to me since then, were 'Because I have a use for you'. What did I ever do to you that deserved that? I all I ever wanted was for you to look at me and acknowledge that I exist. Was that too much to expect from you? All you ever wanted was a mindless tool to do whatever you wanted. I hope Rei makes you very happy.
Asuka, all I ever wanted to do was tell you that I love you, but whenever I gathered enough courage to tell you how I felt, you'd call me a pervert, shoot me down, and slap me. Don't you want to be loved? Isn't that what everyone wants? To be loved? Well fuck you too, Asuka. When all the angels are gone, you won't be needed anymore. Everyone will see you and say 'Oh look, there's Asuka, the Eva pilot. We don't need the Eva's anymore, and because all she had was her Eva, we don't need her anymore either. Let's ignore her like she ignored us.' I hope you grow old alone, just like the way you are now.
Kaoru, you were the first person to ever say that you love me. You loved me for who I was, not what I did. And I killed you for it. You gave me unconditional love, and I gave you death in return. You betrayed me, but that's beside the point. It broke me to see you ask me to kill you. Maybe what will happen now will give me some measure of attonement for what I've done to you.
May God have mercy on my soul, and to hell with all the rest.
Thud.
Splat.
I stand here on my eleventh-floor balcony, and look out on the city. Thoughts wander through my mind. Memories of my experiences here, the people I've met, and the things that I've gone through. The wind feels so good as it blows through my hair, like I'm driving a convertible with the top down.
Toji, Kensuke, You two are the closest thing to friends that I've ever had, but when I tried to talk to you about my problems, you could never really understand what I was going through. But even then, you were using me. Toji, you punched me in the face, twice, before you ever even TRIED to be my friend. Kensuke, you used me to live your fantasies vicariously. You didn't care if I lived or died, as long as I gave you information to put on your website. I will forever resent you both for that.
Misato, you are the closest thing that I have ever had to family, and even though you treated me like your own son, you used me. You put me in harms way, while you sat safe and secure in the command center, all so you could take out your personal vendetta against the angels. You tried to reach me, but it still wasn't enough, It wasn't that you didn't reach me that hurts the most, it's that you tried your hardest and you still didn't reach me. You cared about me, but you still used me.
Rei, you never tried to be my friend or treat me like a person.
Wow, it feels like I'm skydiving. The wind just picks up and whips my hair around my head.
Father, you abandoned me when I was 3, and the first words you spoke to me since then, were 'Because I have a use for you'. What did I ever do to you that deserved that? I all I ever wanted was for you to look at me and acknowledge that I exist. Was that too much to expect from you? All you ever wanted was a mindless tool to do whatever you wanted. I hope Rei makes you very happy.
Asuka, all I ever wanted to do was tell you that I love you, but whenever I gathered enough courage to tell you how I felt, you'd call me a pervert, shoot me down, and slap me. Don't you want to be loved? Isn't that what everyone wants? To be loved? Well fuck you too, Asuka. When all the angels are gone, you won't be needed anymore. Everyone will see you and say 'Oh look, there's Asuka, the Eva pilot. We don't need the Eva's anymore, and because all she had was her Eva, we don't need her anymore either. Let's ignore her like she ignored us.' I hope you grow old alone, just like the way you are now.
Kaoru, you were the first person to ever say that you love me. You loved me for who I was, not what I did. And I killed you for it. You gave me unconditional love, and I gave you death in return. You betrayed me, but that's beside the point. It broke me to see you ask me to kill you. Maybe what will happen now will give me some measure of attonement for what I've done to you.
May God have mercy on my soul, and to hell with all the rest.
Thud.
Splat.
