AN: You remember how one of Tenten's hobbies is fortune telling? Well, my headcanon is Tenten has that hobby because of bad luck and wants to find out what string of good or bad luck she's getting that day. That's the footnote for this story.

This was originally going to be non-shippy to ease people into this crack ship. Then I wrote it and it was pretty shippy, decided to just go with it. At least I'm not the only one to think of Kisaten... (You should try it) This is probably is gonna be a two or three shot. I dont really know when the next part is gonna come, but it will.

Also, when does this fic take place? I don't know. It exists in a vacuum.


At this point, Tenten had learned that trying to fight against the universe was futile, especially with her luck and how the universe constantly reminds her how bad it really was. An orphan, no talent, and maybe just a smidgen of hope that she could be great, but giving her all the signs that she'd always have Lady Luck hating her until she died.

But at least Lady Luck was creative in her punishments.

She had been two-timed, for one. It was just her, Lee, and Neji on a mission to a hideout for rouge ninja. Maybe she hadn't been paying attention or something, but she had accidentally sprung a trap. A trap that got her caught by the nameless ninjas, bound, and hauled off by said ninjas.

She thought that was when the bad luck would end. But no, it continued. Who else would happen upon her capture than an Akatsuki member? The very same one that nearly drowned her?

Her captors were absolutely terrified of Kisame, and she couldn't exactly blame them. The moment he found them, one of the three men dropped her, causing her to land on her side. One of them ran in the other direction, but the other two weren't so lucky. She was unlucky enough to catch a glimpse of Kisame's monstrous sword shredding one of the men with a spray of blood. She closed her eyes, the sight of the gore making her sick.

She half-expected Kisame to just leave her or kill her. So, best as she could, she tries to wriggle out of her bindings or at least farther away from him. Contrary to her initial belief, he instead walks over, picks her up, and throws her over his shoulder. That was an unknown amount of hours ago. At some point she had fallen asleep after kicking and screaming, but she had no idea for how long or exactly when.

The sky was starting to tint orange with the sunset, and with a sigh, she kicks again. He only grunts, adjusting his hold on Tenten.

"Aren't you tired?" She asks, putting her hands together in a fist and lightly hitting his back to catch his attention.

"No." He answers. She could almost hear the never ending sharp-toothed grin on his face as he said that. What had even wanted her for, anyway? It wasn't even as if she had some crucial information for him or anyone in the Akatsuki could be interested in!

Suddenly, and rather unceremoniously, Kisame dropped her on the ground. Tenten landed with a 'oof!' as all the air left her body. Her back aching, she tries to sit up with her limited mobility, glaring at him.

"What was that for?" She snaps, trying to adjust herself into a sitting position, and realized Kisame had walked away from her to a nearby tree. Embaressed, she looks away thinking he was doing something else, but instead, he reaches up grabs a fistful of twigs. He kicks away the leaves on the ground, throwing down the gathered wood. He sits, taking out a kunai and a piece of flint. With a few scrapes, sparks fly and land on the flammable wood.

Tenten watches, dumbfounded as Kisame tends to the small but growing fire before him. He didn't seem to notice her at first, focusing exclusively on the fire. Then, his eyes look up to make contact with hers.

"It will be night soon." He says. "I suppose you know how cold it can get. I didn't think it'd be right of me to make a captured woman sleep in the cold."

"You're such a gentlemen." Tenten says with a roll of her eyes. "It almost makes me forget you kidnapped me."

"Does it? I suppose I'm better with women than I thought." He grins at her. She can't tell if he's being sincere or just playing along, and it's beginning to piss her off. "Besides, I thought I rescued you."

"Rescuing includes letting me go the moment you found me. But you didn't do that. Why?" She asks accusingly. Illustrating her point, Tenten waves her bound wrists for him to see. "And you didn't even untie me!"

"My mistake. I didn't want you getting scared off." He says. He reaches into his cloak and takes out the same kunai, throwing it to her feet. Struggling, she grasps it, carefully sawing through her binds as Kisame watches her with a toothy grin. Actually, he had that expression on his face the entire time he talked. Was it just his default?

With a sigh of relief, she gets through the rope on her wrists with little trouble. She easily cuts through the rope around her ankles. She rolls the hilt of the kunai in her palm, feeling at home with the weapon in her hand. She glances at Kisame, but doesn't raise her head. Realizing that she had an S-Class criminal sitting across from her, her mind begins to think. Without warning, she jumps to her feet, rushing Kisame and pointing the blade against his throat.

"Really bold of you to give the girl you kidnapped a weapon." She says, more than a little proud at cornering an Akatsuki member like this. "Especially someone like me, sharkman."

His grin doesn't disappear. Instead, he laughs. A low laugh that comes from his throat. He looks up at her with a furrowed brow, grin still present as if he was calling her actions as a bluff. "Do you really believe I would be scared of little girl with a knife?"

From the corner of her eye, she sees his arm raise. She glances down to see his familiar sword, like a collection of strange barbs or scales. To her horror, something like a mouth opens, with it's own set of teeth and a tongue, licking it's maw. She had seen that thing before, but she didn't think that thing was alive.

Tenten screams in both surprise and disgust, backing away from the horror and the man who held it. In her shock, the kunai has slipped right out of her hand and fell to the ground. Kisame picks it up, putting it away as he chuckles.

"You're a bold little girl, I have to admit." He says. "It's not often I meet someone who isn't afraid to challenge me."

She frowns, backing away until her back hit a tree. "What about my sensei? You do remember him, right?"

"Of course I do." he confirms. "I remember the boy who looked like him too. Then there was the Hyuga you just can't miss; but you? Well, it took me a while. You're quite plain compared to them."

If she could frown harder at that statement, she would. She crosses her arms, turning away from him. "I'm so flattered." She remarks, looking around the clearing. She didn't recognize anything, although if she were honest she had no idea where the men had been taking her in the first place.

"What's stopping me from leaving right now?" Tenten asks, turning back to look at Kisame. Samehada was across his lap now, wrapping bandages around it and... petting it? The action struck her as more bizarre than the mouth she had seen moments before.

"Nothing. Except for the mere fact you don't know where you are or how to get back to Konoha." He scoffs.

"And why exactly did you 'rescue' me?" She probes, putting quotations around the word with her hands.

"Please. Three men hauling off a teenage girl, her wrists and ankles bound?" He spits, disgusted. "I only regret not killing that third one."

She froze, surprised. Admittedly that was not the answer Tenten expected. It never crossed her mind the implications behind her capture and subsequent hauling off. But, more surprisingly, was Kisame rescuing her from that. Maybe it just the idea that he had done something for a helpless person's benefit. The Akastuki were criminals, and it didn't seem the least bit fitting that the same person who nearly drowned her then rescued her from a worse fate.

"Why would you do that?" Tenten asks, genuinely confused.

"I don't know." He answers with a shrug. "I know I'm no good man, but there are some things, some people in life I refuse to tolerate."

Tenten sits, her back hitting a tree. She draws her knees up to her chest, grabbing a nearby stick and poking the ground with it.

"I'd say, just for saving me from that, you're not completely bad." She admits. "I don't think I can trust you. At least, not a lot. It's hard to measure."

Tenten watches as Kisame finishes wrapping Samehada, his mind deep in concentration and his hands working deftly. She finds it beautiful, in a strange way, seeing someone take such care of weapons like that. She remembered reading somewhere that the Bandage tradition was done to keep the blade from getting too big, lest it kill the user. Somehow, she doubted Samehada would really harm Kisame.

"What do you plan to do with me?" She questions. "Just leave me in the morning?"

"No. I'd likely find you a town where you can get your own help." Kisame said, setting Samahada next to him, letting the sword lean against the tree. A chill ran through the air.

"Why are you even helping me in the first place?" She asks.

"Maybe for once, I'm just sick of death and misfortune." He answers, crossing his arms. She frowns.

"That doesn't seem right, with what I've seen of you." She said, mirroring his current pose. He grins at her, but she can't tell if it's because of her comment or change in position.

"Then you really don't know me."

Kisame doesn't say anything else, but she can tell he's closed his eyes in the dim light of the fire. She sighs, letting her stretch out. Tenten looks up at the sky to see it now faded to a deep, navy blue, the stars shining. She begins to mentally spot and chart the constellations, using it as a way to lull herself to sleep. Soon, her neck cramps, and with some hesitation she lays herself on the forest floor, closing her eyes and drifting into sleep.