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"I can't handle this anymore!" Robbie yelled over the noise of crying children, his eyes tightly closed. One of them was tugging at his pants, one of the vile little creatures.
"You can't handle it?" Jade asked hysterically, her eyes also closed tightly as she tugged at her hair. "I'm about to lose my fu – freaking mind!" The girl moaned, "Make them shut up!"
"I'm leaving," The boy suddenly said opening his eyes to take in the chaos around. He quickly removed the three year old tugging at his pant and literally sat the child in Jade's lap, heading for his home's door.
"Oh no, you don't. You're not going…" Jade with one arm picked up the tiny little girl and chased after Robbie. "We're in this together, remember?" She then shoved the child into his arm and the child instantly snuggled to him. The other three continued their wailing in the background though. "See, that's all she wanted. They want you not me… I'm leaving!"
Robbie blocked her. "No way!" He tried to hand over the child clinging to his neck, but her hold was to strong. He groaned sadly, giving up. "We need to give them to their real parents. Tell them we have no idea what happened. Jade… I have a foreign object in my ear, and I can't get it out." He whined.
"I wish I had a foreign object in my ear!" Jade clutches her head. "I wish someone would put me out of my misery!"
"That's why I said we need to take them to their parents. Tell them we have no idea how their teenagers turned into a toddlers."
Jade looked at him like he was stupid. "Yes, because that'll work." Her sarcasm had less of an effect with the flower sticker on her forehead. "Cause we totally didn't try that in the beginning and they totally didn't believe us then but they will now! They don't even remember having kids with the names Tori, Andre, Cat, and Beck! I say we find that fu – freaking witch, voodoo doctor, whatever who did this and kill her!"
"Jade!" Robbie groaned as the child in his arms began to cry because of Jade's tone. "If you hadn't of insulted her we wouldn't be in this mess!"
"If you hadn't broken her shrunken skulls, maybe that's what made her mad! Don't act like this is my entire fault!" She reminded him of his part in this disaster.
"Well," Robbie looked sheepish. "We're going to have to do something because I'm running out of money and my parents are going to be back in a week. How can I explain to them how I suddenly have four kids, huh Jade? How do I do that?"
"Aren't you supposed to be…? I dunno smart?" The girl looked at him in disgust.
"I'm hungrwy." The child in his – Tori - arms whimpered. "Can I have chicken nuggets?"
Jade and Robbie looked at each other. "Not it!" They both screamed simultaneously. They glared at each other than…
"Not it!" Robbie won.
Jade looked ready to kill him then smirked evilly, "Fine I'll cook, but you have to round up the monsters."
Robbie realized his fatal flaw as Jade turned and left. Robbie looked at the girl in his arms, who grinned at him happily. "Play dress up!" He groaned.
Somehow, he managed it. He managed to save his mother's walls from Cat's artistic talents and keep Andre and Beck from breaking any more windows. It only took a pinky swear promise to take them out for ice cream.
When she's done cooking, Jade careless sets a plate of chicken nuggets on the coffee table and lets them fight it out. Robbie's too tired to tell her how wrong that is.
"Hey, I'm going to buy ice cream." Robbie all of a sudden says, sitting up from his slump on the couch. Yeah, buy ice cream and go take a long nap at his mamwa's place. "I'll be gone for only like ten minutes." He holds his hand up in the air to show his sincerity, when Jade gives him a look. He's becoming such a fibber.
"If you're not, we're coming looking for you." Jade threatens. "Hey don't hit Beck with the remote!" The girl half-heartily scolds Andre.
"He ate my chicken nugget!"
"Well, I'll be right back…" Robbie gets on his feet and stretches. Jade looks at him suspiciously. "I'll be back in ten minutes…"
"I wanna go!" Tori has suddenly attached herself to his leg again. Robbie feels like crying. Jade grins widely.
"Yes, take Tori with you Robbie."
"But…" He childishly pouts. "Fine," He bends over and picks Tori up. "We'll be back in ten minutes." He leaves.
He goes to his Mamwa's anyway, hands Tori over to her and flops on the couch. He closes his eyes and ignores his Mamwa's questions.
"Whose baby is this Robbie?"
"When did you have a baby, Robbie?"
"Is the girl Jewish?"
He falls asleep pretty peacefully through it all.
_I_
When he wakes up Tori and his Mamwa are baking cookies – it's nearly ten at night and he's dead. He is when Jade gets a hold of him anyway.
"Come on Tori, we have to get back home." He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Oh you're leaving so soon." His Mamwa says. "You only just got here. And I finally get to meet my great grandchild." The woman pinches Tori's cheeks, and the little girl giggles.
"Mamwa!" Robbie groans. "She's not… Oh I don't have time for this. Come on Tori we have to go." Tori nods her little head and leaps from the counter.
"At least take a few cookies to go." His Mamwa says.
Robbie hopes Tori is a good enough shield as he enters into his duplex. He enters the living room finding Andre and Beck sprawled out of the floor, apparently Jade left them in the location they dropped and threw a blanket over them. How caring.
Jade was giving him the evil eye from the couch, likely the only thing keeping her from jumping him is the Cat who is still awake but falling asleep in her arms. Reluctantly, he lays his sleeping shield down between Andre and Beck.
He holds up the bag in his hands. "I brought ice cream…" He grins sheepishly. She glowers at him.
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