The Grand Cloud Saga!
Written by Vyse the Incredibly Cool (otherwise known as Torture Rack Cloud) and Sephirouch
This, folks, is the true sequel to The Cloud Saga! Sit back and enjoy the ride! Us and Sephirouch's dog Malcolm is in it too!
(It was a breezy day in Midgar. Cloud lost his socks in the storm, Barret lost his balls, and Vincent just lost it with the torture racks. The gang was in Peanut HQ, a floating building high above Sector 7 [or what's left of it]. They were having a conference about how to rid the world of Sephiroth's uncle's nephew [think about it]. )
Cloud: Now, faithful ones! Call to arms!
Yuffie: Booyaka!
Malcolm: Woof.
Vincent: Big friggin' lot of help YOU are!
Sephirouch: Malcolm's gonna eat you!
Vyse the Incredibly Cool (VIC): Woof dog Malcolm. He's a puppy.
Yuffie: I like cookies and milk!
Red XIII: I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE tap water!
(Bugenhagen appears)
Bugenhagen: Hoo hoo hoo! Go with the flow, Nanaki! Drink POOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAND SPRRRRRRRRRRRINGS! Hoo hoo HOOOOOOOOOO!
(Bugenhagen goes away to bye-bye land)
VIC: I wonder what THIS button does!
Cloud: NOOOOOO! Not the cheese dis-(opening sound)-penser.
Yuffie: CHEESE AVALANCHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(vent opens in ceiling and out falls newly cut sliced of swiss and chunks of mottzerella.)
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vincent: (doing the Malcolm) I've got cheese down my pants!
Cid: Let's play HOCKEY with Barret's BALLS!!!!!
Barret: Hey! You dirty $$%##%
Cloud: Will you two just SHUT UP! We've got a cheese problem here!
(Malcolm travels back in time using his giant magical cheese wheel)
Malcolm: Woooooooooooooofffffffooooooooooooooooow!
Aeris: (giggles) Cheese. I like Vyse!
VIC: YAY! She likes me! She really *burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp* likes me.
Sephirouch: Did anyone notice how incredibly cute and fuzzy the Fuzz Turk is?
(enter Reno and Rude)
Reno: Fuzz Turk! Hug the dog! Take cats hostage!
Rude: I AM A RUDEY POO! *fart* I MAKE LOUD NOISES AT THE EXPENSE OF LLAMAS! *pfffffffffft* NO EXCUSE ME FOR YOU!
Aeris: Hee hee! Vyse saved the world…
Yuffie: (shaking her groove thang) Cookies and MILLLLLLLLK!
Vincent: Red XIII, pass me the orange juice and granola bars…
Red XIII: None. We need to go to the OUTLET MALL!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *takes rubber ducky, bites off the head and hucks it at Cloud* Was this in the script? DIRTY ^&$^%$^%$^$$^$^^$$%%$$^!
Aeris: Hee hee…Vyse has lots of Discoveries…
(Cid is riding his nuclear powered jetpack navigated by super intelligent shades of the color blue.)
Tifa: Alright, you hookey players, dumb butts, toothless morons, big boys and butt-ugly girls! Let's get groovay!
Cait Sith: (with only gums showing) I'b dot a tooflesh moma!
Aeris: Hee hee! Vyse is a Legend!
Rude: *fart* AND THERE GOES THE GAS! OPEN THE WINDOWS, MAMA, CUZ I'M GETTING WINNNNNNNNN-DAAAAAAY! *pffffffffffffffft bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbttttttttt pffffffffffffffffftttttt* AND THERE GOES THE SLUSH! BROWN
MOON!
(at this point, Sephirouch the writer leaves)
Cloud: *looks at Rude*
Rude: *ahem* Would you fine gentlemen like a dry martini?
Cloud: *jaw drops* Have you been drinking again?
(Malcolm arrives riding the Cheesemobile. He seems to be able to talk)
Malcolm: Woof! I am da dawg! Woof! ARRRRRRF!
Yuffie: Where's the beef?
Aeris: Hee hee! Vyse is the captain of a big ship!
(at this point, Sephiroth [Sephiroth's uncle's nephew] appears)
Cloud: Oh no! It's YOU!!!
Sephiroth: Yes, it's me. And I will blow you to bits with my…HOLOGRAPHIC 1ST EDITION CHARIZARD CARD CANNON! BWA HA HA!
Sephirouch: Woof dog! Get him!
Malcolm: Oh yeah! Woof!
(Malcolm pulls out his Cheese Machine Gun and fires cheese at Sephiroth)
Sephiroth: OW! Now, feel the power of the HOLOGRAPHIC 1ST EDITION CHARIZARD CARD CANNON! BWA HA HA!
(Sephiroth fires, sending Pokémon cards streaming towards our heroes)
VIC: OH NO!!!!!!!!!
(what will happen? Find out next time on…..the Grand Cloud Saga!)
