Having Nightmares In the Day, Can You Relate?
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Fish swim in their makeshift pond, unaware at how cruel their fate it. They could be in a river, a fresh water paradise, but instead they were happily oblivious to their surroundings. Sometimes Derek doesn't know why he enrolled in college, all he does is sit outside and look around. Maybe he has a point to prove, and maybe he doesn't.
Purple, Derek believes, is an atrocious color. A bruise is not simply a color, instead a minor hematoma of tissue in which capillaries are damage by trauma, allowing blood to seep into the surrounding interstitial tissues, but the physical picture was clear enough. Spencer's bruises were always purple, never green or brown, or some color in between. They were always purple, an ugly splotch of purple on otherwise flawless skin.
They grew up together, in a way. After Derek's father had died, his mother had moved him and his two sisters to Las Vegas. It was a rather sudden change, and Derek hated the atmosphere he was forced to thrive in. Fifth grade was nothing special, but then Derek met Spencer. They weren't in the same class, but shared both the same bathroom as well recess time.
The first day Derek met Spencer, he noticed the other boys glasses. They were odd and slightly funny, but Derek didn't tease him. Instead, he tapped the boys arm, noticing a circular bruise, and asking if he was alright. Spencer said he was, and Derek had no basis to not believe him, but something within him said otherwise. Derek said nothing, but introduced himself instead.
"I'm Derek."
"Spencer Reid," he spoke, extending his hand. Derek found his formal introduction beyond amusing, and laughed happily. That day, Derek and Spencer walked home together. Derek's stop was first, but he didn't go inside right away. Instead, he stood outside as long as he could to talk to the strange boy with incredibly large words until his mother stepped outside, hand placed firmly on her hip.
"Derek Morgan, you were suppose to be in this house ten minutes ago," she scolded, eyes stern as Derek's small shoulders slumped forward.
"I was just talking to my new friend, Mama!" he yelled back, pointing to Spencer as proof. Spencer smiled shyly, waving meekly at the other boys mother.
"Oh, hello! Would you like to come in, Derek's new friend?" Derek's mother inquired, smiling at the bashful child.
"No, thank you. I'm not allowed to stay out on school nights," Spencer spoke sadly, head down.
"Maybe on the weekend, then?"
"Yes, maybe," Spencer replied, tugging on his book bag before carrying on. Derek sure thought he was strange, but he liked him.
"Come on, baby. Your supper's getting cold," Derek's mother announced, tone off a bit. Derek could tell something was bothering her, but he said nothing. Something was bothering him, too.
That night, Derek was distracted, but come morning, he was more than willing to attend school. This surprised his mother who was more than prepared for a fight. She laughed to herself softly, glad to see her son excited for something other than food.
"Would you like me to drive you to school, today?"
"No thanks, Mama. I'm gonna go met Spencer by the mom and pop shop."
"It's a Chevron, Derek."
Between walking fast and sprinting, Derek was having a hard time containing his excitement. When his eyes finally rested on Spencer, however, that excitement died like a flame dosed with water. The bruise on Spencer's arm now had two companions on both of Spencer's legs. Spencer noticed he was staring, and tried in vain to hide the markings.
"Did someone hit you?" Derek finally found the courage to ask.
"I fell," Spencer answered, and while Derek did not believe him, he chose not to say anything. That didn't mean he wouldn't say anything, but he wouldn't bring it up now, not when Spencer didn't want to talk about it.
The next month proved to be an interesting one. Derek and Spencer grew nearly inseparable, but Spencer never stayed the weekend, and Derek never went over to Spencer's house. When asked, Spencer would merely say that his mother was too sick for company. While Spencer wasn't good at sports, and Derek wasn't a feasible opponent at chess, they did other things together, like talk about their future.
They built forts together, and found creepy critters that lurked around. Eating ice cream outside the "Mom and Pop Shop" was a favorite pass time of theirs. They passed notes any chance they got, and saved their lunch until recess so they could eat together. They were the best of friends, and things were great until the day it rained, and a lot of things changed, for the better, but mostly for the worst.
School had let out, and neither had an umbrella or rain coat to combat the weather. Derek's mom pulled up beside them, telling them to get in. Spencer attempted to protest, but Derek's mother was having none of it. Spencer was a tad bit strange, sure, but he was her sons only friend, and didn't deserve to have to walk home in the rain. The boy's jumped into the back of Derek's mothers Dodge Neon.
Spencer looked to Derek who smiled at him re-assuredly, linking their hands together for comfort as he tapped his foot in rapid secession. Spencer relaxed, enjoying the company he rarely got to share in. the relaxation quickly morphed into sheer panic when they arrived in front of his house, and Spencer saw that his fathers car was parked in the driveway. The anxiety grew, and for a brief moment, he couldn't bring himself to move. Breathing became near impossible.
"Spencer, sweetheart?" Derek's mother spoke, snapping Spencer out of his fear, forcing himself to smile.
"Spence, you okay?" Derek questioned, concerned as that feeling he had when he first met Spencer came back sevenfold.
"Yes, fine. Thank you for the ride, Mrs. Morgan," Spencer said, opening his door. With a deep, perplexing frown, Derek's mother got out of the car also.
"Spencer, sweetheart, I'm going to walk you to the door."
Derek's mom got out of the car, and what Derek thought was protesting on Spencer's part was squashed by his mothers resolve. Derek was told to remain in the car, and so he did, but his curiosity was palpable. Spencer's dad was off looking, and Derek didn't like him. After a few tense minutes, his mother returned, and heated.
"Derek, what do you know about Spencer's dad?"
"Nothing, Mama. Why?"
"Derek, when we get home, I'm going to do something, and then explain to you why I'm doing it."
"Okay, Mama."
Derek didn't understand completely, but he figured he knew somewhat of what his mother was trying to convey to him. Derek remembered his parents discussions about the topic, and the hotlines his teacher's had told them to call if you or someone you knew was being abused. Derek sat silently in the living room as the policed talked to his mother in depth. That night, Derek went to bed rather sad.
A lot of things changed after that day. Spencer didn't live at home anymore, and didn't return to school. Derek cried when he told his mother that Spencer was no longer there, and he was back to being friendless and alone. Derek left the fifth grade behind him, and with that, elementary school was done and over with. Middle school was a different experience, or so Derek noticed. The other kinds wanted to hang out with him, and suddenly, girls liked him.
Sixth grade came and went, and Spencer wasn't at the forefront of his mind. Tucked away, he was pressed into a neat little corner and forgotten. That was until the day Spencer Reid showed up in his sixth period English class. Derek almost didn't recognize him. Spencer's hair was longer, he was taller, but spoke the same if a little more affluent. The other kids began to laugh.
Derek did nothing, and said nothing to acknowledge Spencer, and if Spencer noticed, he said nothing in return. This moment would result in a catastrophe, and ultimate low point in Derek's life. It's a time he doesn't like to talk about, but for this story, it is necessary. Derek, for a three year period, tortured Spencer. Children can be so cruel, and Derek was. Call it mob mentality, call it whatever you would like, but the fact remains, once you start something, it is very difficult to stop.
Derek and Spencer were in the tenth grade when Derek was placed on academic probation. Unless he passed biology that semester with a B or higher, he would be cut from the team. Derek's teacher suggested Derek get with a study buddy, and his mother did not leave it up for discussion. Spencer was not Derek's study buddy, but his only friend, Edward, was. Edward was obnoxious, and spoke in a monotone Derek couldn't get past. Derek ran into Spencer one late afternoon in the library, and suddenly, Derek almost keeled over.
That feeling, it was back.
Spencer's mouth was moving, but Derek didn't hear a word he was saying. Quick moving eyes could sense something was wrong with this picture, and sure enough, Derek spotted a small span of skin tinged purple just below his collarbone.
"You're blocking my way," Spencer stammered, and this time, Derek heard him.
"I'm...sorry," Derek apologized, for everything, but Spencer said nothing as he walked past him and down the next aisle. Derek went home frustrated, what were the chances Spencer got sent back to that violent man and sick woman? The next day, when Tommy Adams shoved Spencer into an adjacent wall, Derek felt no regret about punching him in the face.
Derek got into a world of trouble for that stunt, but after explaining the situation to his mother, the severity of his punishment was lessened. There were a lot of things Derek didn't want to admit to himself during that time, the possibility that Spencer was still being abused was at the top of his list. The next day, after school, Derek cornered Spencer near the front entrance.
"Excuse me," still so polite.
"I have a question," Derek spoke, at a loss. Spencer didn't say anything, wouldn't even look him in the eye. Derek merely placed his hand over the other boys chest, not surprised when he flinched at the touch.
"It hurts, doesn't it?"
"Just...leave me alone," Spencer chides, attempting to move pass him.
"They let you go back home?"
"My dad's a lawyer, what do you think?"
Derek sat in his car for a long time, trying to think, but hating his thoughts. Derek drove home, but didn't stay there. With a harsh word or two with his sister, Derek went for a walk. Unknown to him at the time, his feet were carrying him somewhere familiar. A house that blended in, with a neat front yard and a hybrid parked in the driveway. It took him a moment, but Derek realized where he was. He had been here once, a long time ago. With a purse of his lips, and against his better judgment, Derek decided to ring the doorbell to the Reid's residence. Spencer opened the door, noticeably surprised. Derek was a little surprised, too.
"Spencer, who is it?" came a curt, harsh voice. Spencer didn't answer right away, and when his father rounded the corner, Derek had to think fast.
"Hello, Mr. Reid, sorry to bother you. I was out with the flu, and wondering if Spencer here could let me copy his notes for Pre Cal," Derek finished, heart racing as he refused to break eye contact with the man.
"Very well, then. Come in."
Spencer showed Derek to his room, closing the door and trying not to scream at the other teenager. Derek mouthed that he was sorry, but Spencer held up his hand, leaning his ear against the wall for any intelligible sound.
"I've got some of the notes...let me check in my binder for the rest," Spencer spoke, cautiously adding "What are you doing here?", under his breath.
"I honestly don't know," Derek answered, adding "Anything you've got will help me out."
"I went for a walk, and ended up here."
Spencer looked beyond concerned, a lot like when Derek's mother walked him to his door that one day. Spencer was three years younger then Derek, but a hell of a lot more smarter. Derek was sixteen, and Spencer had just turned thirteen, placing them at a great disadvantage. Derek noticed Spencer was in a plain heather gray tee shirt, and lose fitting pants. Spencer was slim, gaunt almost, and no doubt suffered severely from nerves. Why Derek reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind Spencer's ear, he didn't know, he merely felt compelled to.
"I need you to go," Spencer spoke, voice shaking slightly.
"You can come stay with me."
"Thank you, but no thank you. I'm fine."
"You're not fine!" Derek spoke, remembering at the last possible second to keep his voice down. Derek left that day feeling worse than he had ever before. That whole situation was eating up every last bit of his conscious. Derek often stopped by Spencer's house at a moments notice, under the guise of being tutored.
Each time he came to "study", Derek would document every new bruise and every "accident" Spencer had. They kept this a secret as long as they could over a duration of eight months. When Spencer was fourteen and finally ready, Derek spoke to his mom. The plan was simple: Derek and his mother would arrive at six am when Spencer's father was gone, and Spencer was suppose to be on his way to school. They did just that, what they weren't expecting, however, was Spencer's mom chasing after him out of the house.
"Stop! Stop!" she screamed as Spencer fought off her clutching hands.
That memory would never leave any of their minds. Spencer didn't want to report his father, and instead of doing so, Spencer used the photographs and recorded interviews as black mail against him. Spencer chose to live on his own with the money his father sent him rather than impose on Derek's family. The two remaining years of High School were a series of ups and downs for the both of them. Derek was falling in and out of love with Spencer, but mostly in. Spencer was messed up, and lost in his head most of the time to notice.
The day they graduated High School was the first time Derek kissed Spencer. It was late at night while they stood idly by a bond fire. Spencer returned the kiss, but eventually shot down both Derek's advances and his affections. They went their separate ways after that, two different schools calling their names. Spencer to Harvard, and Derek to Northwestern. A rising star they both were in their own rights; Spencer with his academics and Derek with his athletics until he was unfortunately injured.
Nowadays, Derek's ankle tended to look like a nasty purple bruise, tender to the touch. He absolutely detested the color, it was as ugly as it was awful. His sports career was most certainly over.
"I would like, when I grow up, to be an astronaut, but a dear friend of mine was awfully afraid of space aliens." Derek smiled. A guest speaker was at the University, and causing quite a stir amongst the student body by how young he was. Spencer joined Derek on the old wooden bench.
"You shouldn't have listened to him," Derek argues, keeping his head down. Spencer smiled at the man beside him.
"I wouldn't have liked it very much, I think. I wouldn't like being so far away from him."
"Harvard's far away."
"Still Earth," Spencer reasoned.
"True."
"I wanted to be an astronaut, but throwing up a lot didn't help things much, either. How about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Happy."
"I think being an astronaut is more attainable." Derek laughed, glancing over to Spencer who was already looking at him. Derek patted Spencer's thigh, sighing contently. A lot was different, but a lot was still the same.
"I missed you."
"I'm here now, embrace the moment," Spencer spoke, lacing their hands together.
"Carpe Diem, right?"
"Right."
The fish swam in the same water, day after day, and maybe they had something going on that Derek didn't understand. They had stability, and they had the same companions with them since they could remember. Maybe they had it made.
Maybe they didn't.
Purple was still an ugly color.
