Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Kuronue, the song Evil Angel, the band Breaking Benjamin, or a long list of other things you might want to sue me for. So no suing!

A/N: No idea how this came into my head… I was listening to the song while procrastinating writing an essay. Then I started rereading old IM logs of mine and Reneey's where we were talking about Kuronue and Youko and somehow "Evil Angel" clicked with "Kuronue" and this was born. So yeah.

Don't shoot me if it's horrible, it's my first real attempt at a songfic.

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Evil Angel

Hold it together

Her entire body shook as he got off the bed and stood up, smirking down at her. This was her punishment, he would often say, except when he didn't bother to give an excuse at all. Not that he needed any beyond his enjoyment at seeing the pain in her now-hollowed eyes.

Birds of a feather

And in a way he was right, that this was her punishment. She never believed that he had the right to punish her, because no matter how many times he told her otherwise, she was not a slave. But this was a punishment, she had decided long ago; a punishment for the way she had lived, for the anger and vengeance in her heart that had been the only thing keeping her alive. Until he had found her, and now she just wanted it to end.

Nothing but lies and crooked wings

Of course, he would tell her he didn't want to hurt her. He would say she just needed to be punished and if she would just be good, he wouldn't have to. And she would swallow her pride and call him "master" to appease him, just so he would stop touching her and get away. Then he would smirk again and hopefully, hopefully pick up his shirt and put it back on around those black demon's wings and leave her alone just for a moment. She tried not to think about the other option, if he decided it would be more fun to forget about putting his clothes back on just yet.

I have the answer

But he didn't do that much, after she had already broken her own spirit to the degree that she would give in and call him her master.

Spreading the cancer

He seemed to prefer that sort of punishment when he knew it would hurt her most, when he knew she still had the strength to fight him even though there was no hope of winning.

You are the faith inside me

But at the same time, it was because of him and what he did to her that she became certain of the one thing she still knew to be true.

No, don't leave me to die here

She had to live. She had to prove that she was stronger than this demon with the black wings and even blacker heart, maybe even prove to him that she wasn't inferior just because she was human. Because that was the only way for this nightmare to end.

Help me survive here alone

And the only way she was going to stay alive was with him. Because she could never get home from here even if she escaped, and without his protection, the others would tear her apart. She shuddered and suddenly wondered how she had just called it "protection," what he did to her…

Don't remember, remember

Perhaps he had seen the flash of fear in her eyes or maybe it was something else entirely that made him come back onto the bed again, that sent his fingertips to trace across her lips and the side of her face and the laceration left when he had struck her with the back of his hand. Either way, she knew what was coming even before his mouth lowered slowly to her skin. Her breathing quickened again as she tried to ignore her instinct to scream and attempt to fight him off in the simple hope that he would be easier on her. This was not going to be one of the better times when he would be more easily sated.

Put me to sleep, evil angel

So she closed her eyes and tried to ignore what the sensitive nerves of her skin were telling her, tried to paralyze her muscles and force herself to be perfectly still. But eventually her resolve would break and then she would either try to fight him or try to get away, and either way could only end with more pain.

Open your wings, evil angel

This was one of those times she wanted him to get up and fly away, when she didn't care what the others would do to her then.

I'm a believer

She had once believed in a heaven after death, a place for those who had lived well to find eternal peace. She had known back then that if there was such a place, the opposite must also exist; one could only exist with the other, an eternal balance.

Nothing could be worse

But she didn't believe in a heaven or hell anymore, because it simply wasn't possible for any torture to be worse than what she endured now.

All these imaginary friends

Perhaps nearly as bad as the things he did to her was the simultaneous threat and promise of the others he had brought from the world of humans, the others imprisoned here like her.

Hiding betrayal

Always she longed to believe that they were strong and good and would fight like she intended to, but before it came down to it, she always knew she was wrong. Their hearts and spirits had been broken long ago, and if he but asked, they would give away anything they knew or guessed.

Driving the nail

They would kill her themselves, if he asked them to.

Hoping to find a savior

And yet they wanted her to succeed. They wanted her to be their way out just as she longed to find them that way.

No, don't leave me to die here

But they could not save her any more than she could save them.

Help me survive here alone

No matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise at times, she knew that there was only one who could keep her from death, and he was the one she feared and hated, the one who took pleasure in her suffering and inflicted it now.

Don't surrender, surrender

But even if they had allowed themselves to give up, she couldn't do that. She couldn't change her own nature, her innate desire to fight until she couldn't anymore, even now when that would have been the safest thing to do.

Put me to sleep, evil angel

So of course he would hurt her when she began to fight him again. Maybe that was what he really wanted in the first place when he did this.

Open your wings, evil angel

And he wasn't going to stop. He wasn't going to get up and walk away.

Fly over me, evil angel

He would stay here until he was quite satisfied that she wouldn't fight any longer no matter what he did to her.

Why can't I breathe, evil angel?

Until she didn't have the strength to do anything more than look up at him in pain and resignation and abstract horror.

Put me to sleep, evil angel

Only then would he come away with that pleased smirk she had learned to hate.

Open your wings, evil angel

Only then would he leave her alone, if just for a little while, to recover herself.

Fly over me, evil angel

But he would be waiting for the moment her strength and her spirit returned, and that was something they both knew very well by now.

Why can't I breathe, evil angel?

And it seemed to her that the way it never seemed to end was the most crushing blow of all.