Dancing Fools 5

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC, Marvel, and Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Red Witch owns the Misfits. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC.

Chapter 1: Insanity for all!

Blob asked,

"Any idea why we're here?"

Althea growled,

"It's Red Witch, I can smell it. This is one of her ideas, I just know it."

Wanda said,

"I know what you mean. Although, I am curious as to who Persiana13 is."

Toad shook his head in thought,

"I know I've heard that name before, somewhere, but I can't place it."

Shipwreck nodded,

"I know I've heard of it too, Toady. Where, though?"

Althea rolled her eyes,

"Don't strain your brain cells TOO much, Dad. You don't have that many left."

Red Witch entered,

"Hey, gang. How's it going?"

Althea folded her arms,

"What insanity are you planning for us this time, Red?"

Red Witch was confused,

"What makes you think I had anything to do with what's going to happen to you?"

Quicksilver panicked,

"She's got those photos! I knew it! She's going to release those photos!"

He got hit with a hex bolt, sent flying into a barrel of nails,

"OW! THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!"

Gen. Hawk said,

"Thank you, Wanda."

Red Witch smiled,

"Ok, here's the scoop. I was reading up on this guy Persiana13 and he is a good writer. In fact, he's been doing a very successful series called Dancing Fools…"

Toad smacked his forehead,

"Now I remember! Persiana13 is that author that got inspired by Red Witch to write his own fan fiction!"

Blob asked,

"Is Dancing Fools that Dancing with the Stars parody, where he just pairs up random people and all sorts of craziness happens? And, didn't he give Graydon Creed a sex change?"

The author entered with Farrah,

Got it in one, Freddy. How's everyone doing?

Quicksilver noticed Farrah,

"Hello, hot fuzzy chick!"

He sped up to her,

"Hey, babe."

Farrah blinked and smiled sweetly,

"Quicky, let me tell you something about me…
She grabbed his wrists, brought his arm behind his back and popped the shoulder,

"Don't ever call me babe."

She dropped Quicksilver on floor. Quicksilver screamed,

"THE AGONY! WANDA, MAKE IT STOP!"

Wanda smiled,

"I like you, Farrah."

Farrah blinked,

"Are we talking like as a friend, or you have a thing for me, cuz I already have a woman chasing after me."

Avalanche asked,

"Wait, a girl is chasing after you?"

Farrah nodded,

"Yeah, Amazon warrior princess."

Quicksilver asked,

"You have Xena chasing you?"

He got kicked in the manhood,

"!"

All right, all right, let's settle down here, people. Now, because of the success with my previous Dancing Fools stories, Red Witch has agreed to help with this season's!

Cyclops groaned,

"We're doomed!"

Shut up, Slim!

The author pulled out a bean bag gun and shoots Cyclops. Cyclops fell unconscious.

Jean wailed,

"Cyclops!"

Wolverine smirked,

"I like this guy."

The author pulled out a piece of paper,

Now, I sent Red Witch a list of couples for her to write a Dancing with the Stars parody, but, because she is so busy being the goddess of insanity, she says I could go first. I first want to thank her for this.

Monet grumbled,

"Suck up."

She got shot with a bean bag and fell unconscious. Red Witch asked,

"Can I have that when were finished?"

Why not? I have a whole arsenal of weapons in the back. Now I forgot some of the couples on the list, but I do remember some key ones. The others will just be pairings Red Witch came up with. Now our first couple is…Toad and Althea!

Althea grinned,

"Sweet!"

Wait until you see the dance I've line up for you.

Shipwreck shook his head,

"Now, hold on a minute. Althea is not doing something sexually explicit, especially with a guy with a flexible spine. It could give her ideas."

Will you forget this if I paired you up with Storm?

Storm was horrified,

"You wouldn't!"

Red Witch nodded,

"He would. Shipwreck, you and Storm are the second couple!"
Storm screamed,

"SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW!"

Shipwreck grinned,

"YAY! I want a sexy dance!"

I'll think about it. Third on the list…Dragonfly and Blob!

Dragonfly blushed hotly,

"Really? Wow!

Next up…Pyro and Magma!

Pyro grinned maniacally,

"Cool! I can set her on fire!"

Magma was stunned,

"Are you insane?"

Farrah grinned,

"Yes. Yes we are!"

Our fifth couple for the evening is…Willow and Avalanche!

Quicksilver grinned,

"That's gonna be fun!"

He got hit with a hex bolt,

"OWIE!"

Red Witch continued,

"The sixth couple for this evening is…Pietro and Xi!"

Quicksilver blinked,

"Wait, I get to dance with Xi?"

Red Witch said,

"Xi can wear the dress."

Xi asked,

"Do I get make up too?"

Sure, we stole most of it from Emma Frost. She won't miss it.

Red Witch asked,

"Do you think you should tell who the last couple is?"

Might as well. The final couple for the show is…Starla and Roberto!

Magma roared,

"WHAT? SHE'S HERE!"
The ground started to rumble)

Ease off, hot stuff. I know how you feel about her and, let me tell you, it was not an easy decision.

Starla sneered,

"Yeah, Amara. He obviously knows good looks when he sees it."

Starla, I only picked you because I get to do this to you.

The author whipped out paint cannon and fired it. Starla was doused in red paint. Starla shrieked,

"YOU RUINED MY DRESS! ROBERTO!"

Don't worry; I got one for him too!

The author reloaded and fired at Roberto. Roberto was doused in pink paint. Roberto cried out,

"COME ON! WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?"
It's about you lowering your standards after you dumped Amara for Starla. Seriously, it's like Batman dumping Wonder Woman for Catwoman.

Starla yelled,

"You are SO getting sued for this!"

Sure, lady. Sure.

Red Witch smirked,

"Now, let's meet our judges!"

Next Chapter:
The judges!