A/N: I'm tirelessly working on the next two chapters for this fic. I'll do my best to get them out soon!
Charlie
Charlie can't help curling tighter into the covers cocooning her body. Hands twisting in the soft fabric, she does her best to squeeze her eyes shut and just breathe. It was easier said than done, though. She has a shift in a few hours and being this tightly wound is a hazard.
She'd thought things would be magically better somehow...and they were to some extent. But...but the empty, gaping hole in her chest that she's curling around tells her something different. She's not the same girl she was nearly ten years ago.
Her relationship with her mom and Ron was more stable than it had been, she'd come to appreciate Ron's efforts. He was a good man and he made her mom happy. He'd also helped Charlie pay to attend a trade school all the way in Sacramento. It was a surprise that had her bursting into tears, partly from gratitude and partly from guilt.
He wasn't her dad, no one would ever take his place, but Ron wasn't a bad man. A large part of her regrets the trouble she gave him when she was a teenager. She was an angry little fireball back then, whenever the apathy gave way.
Otis would finally be starting his second year of college, studying communications or something. The little weirdo, but he was her little weirdo. They still argued like cats and dogs, but he was her best friend. He let her pour her heart out to him, even if it got her some ribbing after things were said and done. But she couldn't complain when she does the same for him.
Things were definitely better than they were before…or that's what Charlie keeps telling herself. If she was being honest...well…that hole in her chest had been there ever since she and Bumblebee parted ways all that time ago.
Nothing was ever the same.
Nothing would ever be the same.
How could it when you live with the knowledge that there's other life out there amongst the stars? How could you when you're best friend was a giant robot that you hadn't seen for nearly a decade. Were they still even friends then?
Charlie hadn't heard a thing from him since they parted ways outside San Francisco. Even after all this time, she hadn't forgotten a thing about that day.
He'd probably forgotten all about her.
Blinking back tears, Charlie curls into a tighter ball and grits her teeth. It wasn't his fault, she was the one that chose to stay with her family and friends.
She wouldn't have chosen differently either.
And that's what frustrates her the most about all these feelings.
She doesn't have the right to feel so upset that he never came back and visited. It's not his fault he forgot that skinny teenager with problems. There were more important things for Bee to worry about; like those Decepticons his kind were at war with.
Frustrated with herself, Charlie tosses the covers off and stretches out. Turning and staring at the glowing red numbers on her bedside alarm, she makes a disgusted noise. She didn't realize she was laying there for hours and hours.
She'd be functioning on coffee today.
Scrubbing a hand down her face, she gets up and paces to the kitchen, stopping for a moment to start the cassette player. Stevie Nicks fills the air while she impatiently jabs the power button on the coffee pot. It was shaping up to be a long day and it hasn't even started yet.
Ruffling her hair, Charlie takes a moment to examine the ends of it.
God those split ends are bad. Maybe I should just get it chopped off.
Something in her recoils at the thought. Charlie hasn't had short hair since she graduated from trade school. At first it was a good reminder of her time with Bee, but….after a while it grew and she couldn't be bothered to cut it short again.
The good memory had become slightly tarnished.
Shaking herself, she leaves the heady scent of the coffee and trades it for the smell of mint and shampoo. The deep black under her eyes pull her mouth down into a frown, toothbrush dangling loosely and spit gathering on it. The person staring back at her in the bathroom mirror isn't the same one who stared back at her when she was young.
The tiniest of lines had begun to form at the corners of her eyes and lips, but that didn't really bother her. It was the dullness of her eyes. She...she looked...she looked how she did when her father died. Charlie looked sad.
Groaning, she rips her eyes off the mirror and violently scrubs at her teeth before spitting and rinsing the brush off. Tossing it back into its designated spot, she restlessly paces back into the kitchen. Doing her best to get her mind off her woes, Charlie does a little spin and poses just as the coffee pot dings.
"Right on time my life giving liquid."
Flipping a coffee mug from the dryer rack, she doesn't hesitate before sliding to her fridge on sock clad feet. It's not something she's done in a while, so the warm feeling it elicits in her chest pulls a small laugh out of her.
As tired as she is, the coffee should be enough to perk her up.
Maybe I'll just go in early today.
It wouldn't be the first time she's done that. Her coworkers may not really like it, says it makes them look bad, but it's not her concern.
She can't help that most of them are butt hurt assholes that try to look down on her.
Sipping at the steaming liquid, the sting of it hitting her tongue makes her flinch and curse, staring at the cup in betrayal.
"Hot hot hot hot hot! So fucking hot!That so isn't fair!"
Pouting, she slams the cup down as gently as she can while still expressing her disappoint. Leaving it to cool a little, Charlie ventures back to her room and quickly changes. Two photos catch her attention, reflecting the gentle light cast by her lamp halfway through her pulling on her mechanic suite.
The first brings a dull ache to her chest, seeing her dad beaming up at her proudly. The pain isn't so overwhelming anymore when she thinks about him. It's a blessing really, though Charlie knows the pain will never go away.
The second brings a sharper pain, not quite so dull and heavily bittersweet.
The brilliant smile the girl in the picture had was only second to the brightly shining blue of her companion's eyes. Her mouth dries and becomes cottony and it feels like her heart is bleeding out.
That ache she'd managed to forget about just a little, crushes her chest again.
Tearing her eyes away, she hurriedly pulls the sleeves up and zips the suite. She can't linger around like this, it isn't worth feeling this pain again. Breathing through her nose, Charlie mutters quietly to the still air, "Coffee. I need coffee. Coffee fixes everything."
Luckily she hadn't stared stupidly at those photos for too long, the coffee was an okay temperature. Not quite hot enough, but not cool enough to be disgusting. Taking a long drag from the cup, Charlie uses her free hand to open a cabinet and rummage through it.
Making an "aha" sound as soon as her hand hits foil, tinny rustles fill the air as she pulls out her prize. Strawberry pop-tart in hand, she downs the rest of her coffee, trying to chase away the bitter loneliness in her heart.
"Son of a bitch!"
Throwing down the tool in her hand, Charlie shoves herself out from under the 89' Camero she's working on. Shaking out her left hand she can already see the bruise beginning to form along her knuckles.
A bruise is better than shorn skin, but it still hurts like a motherfucker.
Pushing herself up, she throws a glare at the bright green car and mutters, "Bee wouldn't have done this."
Laughs from across the room have her switching her glower over. Two of her coworkers are giggling to themselves like school children. One of them flashes her a bright grin and makes the mistake of opening his mouth.
"Attacking the poor car again Charlie? Don't you think that's a little unfair? It can't even fight back!"
Face pulling down into an even fiercer scowl, she shoots him a rude gesture. "Oh shut it Mathias. The only one in danger of being attacked here is that horrid haircut of yours. I mean, a mullet? Really?"
The resulting squawk of indignation threatens to turn Charlie's scowl into a true smile. Doing her best to keep her frown, Mathias dramatically places a hand over his heart and falls into his friend's arms. "Oh! Charlie you wound me so! Insulting my gorgeous mane that's totally not a mullet."
It's too much for Charlie to handle and a laughs bubbles up. Shaking her head, she waves a hand his way. "Whatever you brat. I'm heading off to lunch. Want me to grab you something?"
"Hell yeah! If you're offering to pay I want a Big Mac and Coke! Oh! Oh! Extra fries too!"
Snorting, Charlie throws her arms out and turns, walking backwards, "With a diet like that I'm surprised you're not dead yet. Anything else, your highness? A shake? Nuggets?"
"Well...now that you mention it, peasant..."
"Oh fuck off you jerk!"
Spinning back around, Charlie can't help the dimpled smile tugging at her lips as laughter carries behind her. She was so lucky to have friends like Mathias. He was a good kid. Almost like another brother to her.
A slightly more annoying brother, but a brother nonetheless.
Not bothering to use the door, she hops into her Corvette convertible. Ten years on and it still ran like a charm; sure it had needed a few tune ups here and there, but overall it had been a reliable companion since the day she'd managed to fix it.
Cranking it, she pats the dash, "Come on girl, let's go get that idiot some food."
Peeling out of the lot, she speeds the next 4 miles to the damned McDonald's. Ordering for Mathias and herself, she finds her mind wandering the way it did on hot days like this.
The breeze feels nice, even if it makes the sweat dry sticky and irritating against her skin. Memo pops into her head briefly and she wonders how he's doing. Just as quickly as the thought finishes, her mind trails away into this morning.
Smile drooping, she reflects.
She's exhausted, honestly and truly. If it was only physical it wouldn't be so bad, but the mental and emotional exhaustion is taking its toll. Charlie can't seem to shake the bone deep weariness that has cemented itself in her.
An itch had started underneath her skin, making her restless and eager to flee.
Go. Leave. Go. Gogogogogogogo, it whispered.
Breathing deeply, she pushes the itch away.
No. Not now. I can't.
She really, truly can't. Charlie has a life, a job, a home…she can't displace all that. She's far too rooted to pick herself up and transplant. Besides where would she go? She's too old for it.
But damn if her heart didn't flutter at the thought of adventure.
Before she'd met Bee, she wasn't really the adventurous type; sure she had her moments, but they were few and far between. Her dad passing hurt her terribly for a long, long time. After meeting Bee and seeing into a world, a universe bigger than she'd ever dreamed of, a spark had started in her heart.
Tiny at first, but it had grown and grown over the years until it was almost unbearable.
"Ma'am? Ma'am please pull up."
A static laced voice yanks her from her thoughts abruptly, making her jump.
"Oh shit, shit, yeah I'm sorry!"
Charlie shakes her to clear it and pulls up to pay. Money and food bags, exchanged she speeds back to the shop.
Whipping in, she barely had time to stop before Mathias came barreling over. Smiling in amusement, Charlie doesn't get the chance to get out. Smile dropping as fast as her heart falls into her stomach, Charlie almost doesn't hear him over the buzz in her ears.
"Charlie! Charlie it's your mom! She's in a bad way."
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